Potterwatch
Rapier aka Fred Weasley
River aka Lee Jordan
A radio crackled to life as the frequency set in and an excited voice rang out loud and clear -
'Good evening listeners! This is "Rapier" with another broadcast of "Potterwatch". We apologise for the slight delay - thanks to our dear old Death Eaters for the interruption.
Anyway let's begin with forecast for tonight - which is Dark. Quite literally! It's raining folks! The death Eaters continue to wreak havoc all over Britain. Many amongst us are under the Imperius Curse so look out whom you trust.
Now, I will hand over to our correspondent, "River" who is going to offer you a few tips to save yourselves from the Death Eaters.'
'Hello fellow wizards! "River" here with a few tips on recognising and saving yourselves from Death Eaters. However before I proceed, I would like to add that these tips are to be used at your own risk! So let us begin...
1. The first basic question we must ask ourselves is how to recognise a Death Eater? Well, the answer is simple - He or She would be wearing a grotesque mask and if not he or she will be the most unpleasant looking person you would have ever come across.
2. If a death eater corners you and you can't think of any spell to cast on him, what should you do? It's damn easy! Punch him on the nose. These muggle tricks work exceptionally well sometimes. But First make sure that he is really a Death Eater and not You - Know - Who. You would know if it is You - Know - Who as he won't have a nose - obviously! Anyway, you may also jab your wand in the Death Eater's eye socket or stick your wand in his nostril. Don't complain, cleaning Death Eater bogies will be much better than getting cursed by him, isn't it?
3. Get the dark mark tattooed on your arm. The death eaters might spare you thinking that you are an ally.
4. Blab in front of the Death Eaters that you know the whereabouts of Harry Potter but make sure disapparate before they ask any further questions.
5. Carry Polyjuice potion with you all the times. It comes in handy. I would like to tell you that you will change back to your old self once the potion wears off. So don't worry, you won't be stuck up forever as as greasy haired Snape or gaunt and skull - faced Bellatrix Lestrange.
Well, that's it then. Yes, yes Rapier calm down! I would like to hand over to Rapier once more before we say goodbye for he is constantly rapping my head since five long minutes.'
'Hello again folks! I am here to deliver a personalised message to "Moony" I hope Moony is listening to us live right now.
I would like to say and I am sure those who know you well would agree with me without doubt, that you ought to have faith in yourself. You can't be a danger to anyone or cause harm to anyone you love. You are one freaking awesome werewolf and you deserve to love and be loved in return! If you are listening, Moony, someone loves you and is waiting for you! So it would be better if you get back!
So, this is where we say goodbye for time being. We will be back soon with more news. Till then stay safe, support Harry Potter and keep troubling Ickle - Voldykins! Password for next Broadcast is "HalfMadMuggle" Stay tuned for more! Adios!'
