"Why the hell would you tell me this now?"
"What good is it going to do me if I keep putting it off? For all you know, one of us could die in this next mission-"
"Exactly! So what good is bringing this shit up going to for us? Why would you want to get all worked up for nothing?"
Marco frowned and cast his gaze away from the blond boy standing across from him. "It's not nothing to me, Jean."
Jean sighed and crossed his arms. Marco's way with words had certainly pleased Jean in the past, but hearing what he had just heard at that moment was entirely inappropriate. It was one thing to hear compliments on your leadership skills after risking his life several times after a mission. But confessions of love before they even started another dangerous task? Why now? Why here in the storage shed, minutes before they were to report to duty?
"Damn it, Marco. You caught me totally off guard with that, you know?"
"I'm sorry."
"Well, whatever. Just try to focus on our task from here on out, alright?" Jean grabbed his 3DMG from its place in the storage room and shouldered it. Just as he turned to leave, he felt a tug on his sleeve.
"Hey, wait Jean!" Marco commanded. "Before we head out, I just want to know one thing."
Jean rolled his eyes and turned to face the freckled boy. In their years at training camp, Marco had always been a few centimeters taller than Jean. With his dejected look now, he seemed so much smaller. A blush was still spread on his cheeks; it had been there since before his confession. Instead of being paired with a sheepish smile, it now complimented Marco's embarrassed expression.
"Make it fast." Jean huffed. Perhaps he was being too harsh on his friend, but he shouldn't have been focusing on his stupid crush. Lack of concentration would likely get him killed on the battlefield, and frankly Jean was worried.
"You - you never answered me."
"You never asked me a question!"
"But I did! Right after I told you how I felt. I asked to know your feelings, too."
"I probably couldn't hear you over all your damn babbling." Jean said.
Marco winced at the words, and Jean felt a tinge of guilt. "Sorry, but I don't have an answer."
"What do you mean by that?"
"What do you think I mean by that?" Jean snapped. He sighed again and ran his hand through his hair. "I don't know how I'm supposed to feel. Unlike you, my head's not stuck in the clouds. I'm down here in reality, and I'm more concerned about this titan bullshit. One wrong move, and I could get my entire squad killed."
Panic started to set into Jean's mind, and he shook his head in an attempt to rid the feeling. He needed to think straight. Keep his mind sharp. Forget everything that didn't pertain to the mission.
"You're right." Marco double checked the tightness of his harness and grabbed his own gear. With his free hand, he rested a hand on Jean's shoulder. "It was stupid of me to dump all this on you now. I'm sorry, again."
Jean stared down at his friend's hand. "What's with the sudden mood change, eh?"
"Like you said, the mission's way more important than how I feel now. I shouldn't carry my feelings onto the battlefield anyway." Marco chuckled. "Who knows what would happen if I did something stupid out there."
Jean shrugged his shoulder free. "Good to know you're right in the head again. Hurry up, we're already running way behind." He exited the shed with Marco a few steps behind. "Eren had better know what he's doing. I'm not planning on dying while he's playing Titan."
"Don't worry, I know you'll be fine." Marco assured him. "And, Jean, one more thing."
"Yeah, what?"
"Please. Promise me you'll give me your answer later."
Jean closed his eyes and shook his head. "Fine. If it'll make you happy. I promise you'll have your answer by the time we're safe back in our bunks tonight."
-.-.-
Identifying bodies had always made Jean sick to his stomach.
Identifying his closest comrades had almost killed him.
Seeing Marco slumped against the side of a building, his entire right side torn away from him, had broken something deep inside him.
His body seemed to move by itself, and Jean didn't realize he had kneeled down beside Marco until he saw his hand resting on top of his friend's remaining hand.
"I'm a little late on our promise, huh?" Jean whispered.
They weren't in their bunks. They weren't lying next to each other, just as they should have been.
Jean choked back a sob and tightened his grip on Marco's hand, lacing his fingers between his.
"Marco... I know my answer.
I love you, too."
-.-.-
AN
huhuhu my first snk fic! i'm a little rusty on writing oops. i hope you guys enjoyed it! R&R!
Icee Suicune
