Casey is a great kid. I met him when he was at my rock climbing gym, Climb Time with his scout troop. He was looking after the younger scouts, took it upon himself to make sure their equipment was clean, safe and properly set up. Just a really great kid. Huge too. He gave my buddy Emmett a run for the money, I mean the kid's only fourteen, but he's already close to six feet tall and I'd bet he weighs in at 195, and he's still growing! All the other boys seemed to be just drawn to him. I swear if we heard "Casey! Check this out!" once, we heard it a thousand times. You see, it was a lock-in. That's right, a bunch of scouts in a rock climbing gym all night long. How did I get roped into this? I'm one of the owners, of course.

The kids also teased him relentlessly about his mom. The only time I saw him lose his cool was when one of the older boys made the mistake of saying the word MILF where Casey could hear him. The kid was older, and bigger,but when Casey turned on him and growled, (I mean, seriously, growled), the kid backed down right away. It was actually pretty impressive.

Apparently, this was a sore spot with Casey. He and I talked about it a little bit. He told me all about his mom. She was in her forties, looked thirty and was awesome, his words. He told me how she took up running when he joined the cross country team. How she learned everything she could about rugby when he started playing. How she insisted on driving his little sister to her two-a-day swimming practices (5:00 a.m. people) and made sure she ate a hot breakfast before and after!

My name is Edward Masen, I'm an orthopedic surgeon, but like most surgeons, I take Wednesday off. Since I don't golf, and I like to climb, I bought into the climb time franchise here in Indianapolis with my two buddies, Jasper and Emmett.

Jasper teaches history at Butler University, here in Indy, and Emmett is an elementary school teacher. It's hilarious when the parents see him for the first time. He was a linebacker, blew out his knee, and put his degree to use earlier than planned. As intimidating as he should be, he's really such a pushover, the kids stop taking him seriously about two weeks into the school year. He's okay with that though. He likes being the "cool" teacher. Once the kids find out that he's got an in at Climb Time, he's got the perfect leverage for cooperation. He'd rather use bribery than intimidation, so giving away free climbs for good performance always works in his favor.

Now, when I met Casey's mom, I didn't know that's who she was. I mean, the kid is huge right? Plus he's fourteen. So, I'm thinking his mom has to be older than me right? I'm 35 and apparently a terrible judge of age.

Let me set the scene. It's a Wednesday in the middle of June and this lady comes in to learn how to climb. She's pretty, probably a couple of years older than me. I hear her telling Jasper that her son loves to come here and she wants to bring him back for his birthday in August, but doesn't want to completely embarrass him by not knowing what she's doing. They get into the lesson and I don't think much about it. I mean, she's nice, and pretty, but not really my type. She's got a great laugh though. Also, she doesn't really give off that "available" vibe you know? Like, some of the women who come in alone are really flirty and touchy-feely. You know what I mean, they toss their hair back when they laugh and touch your arm and shit. She's none of that. It's almost like you're immediately at ease with her, she has no ulterior motives, just wants to learn to climb so she can do it with her son.

She set up several appointments over the course of the next few weeks, to take lessons, learn about the rigging and all that stuff. I notice she jokes around with Jasper a lot, which is weird, because he's usually the most laid back of the three of us. Emmett calls her Mrs. C, and she just rolls her eyes can calls him Arthur. (Happy Days Reference) she must have cable and like reruns. I work with her a few times. She talks about her two kids, a son named Karl (yeah with a K) and her daughter Katherine. She says she, and their dad wanted the kids to have names they could grow into. "You ever met a 50 year old woman named Crystal? Would that freak you out?" We laughed and talked and the more I got to know her, the more I realized maybe she was my type. I'd never pictured myself with an older woman, I'd always pictured the young, blonde, doctor's wife, I'd just never found a woman the fit that description who was interesting enough to spend the kind of time with a relationship would require. I wondered why she never wore a wedding ring. I mean ever. There was no tan line either. Turns out she's a teacher at the same school as Emmett. She also has a side business helping out a company that builds web sites. It's something she can do from anywhere, the hours are flexible, and as she and Emmett constantly say, "Teachers can't live by apples alone!"

I wondered about her kids too. I tried to picture them. She had the strangest colored hair. I mean it was brown, but instead of having different shades of brown and red, like most brunettes, hers were blonde. Like honey. I don't know, would you call that bronze? So I'm picturing I little dude with big blue eyes and bronze hair. She told me Katherine was blonde. So that was easier to picture.

I tried to ask Emmett as casually as I could manage, since he's bit more oblivious than Jasper. Jasper is way too observant. Anyway, Emmett said, "Aw man, it was bad, her husband died a while ago. I think Casey was like ten at the time. It was really bad. They'd just moved here. The kids were finally settled, just bought a house and then, there was a bad snow storm, he was travelling, got hit by a tractor trailer that lost control. Died at the scene."

"What did you say? Casey? Her son's name is Karl, not Casey"

Emmett laughed, "Dude you are seriously without a clue. KC, Karl Cullen, not Casey Cullen! His dad's name was Carlisle, a little too old fashioned, so they changed it to Karl."

"Ed, man why you look so pale? What were you thinking you and she?...Oh man, I didn't think you went for older women man. But hey, she's hot, so why not?"

Just then, Jasper came around the corner playing that old Fountains of Wayne song, pointing at me and singing along, "Casey's Mom has got it going on!" What a fucking jerk! Looks like I go for older women after all!