When I Go Out

Summary: Join Jake Morgendorffer as he takes a very short, (ideally) relaxing break from the hectic rush of everyday life. Set to Five Iron Frenzy's 'When I Go Out.'

Disclaimer: I don't own Jake Morgendorffer. As far as I can see, he is the only character appearing in this. Also, I don't own 'When I Go Out,' which belongs, as I believe I have stated, to Five Iron Frenzy.

And now, oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooon with the show!

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'When I go out...'

Jake Morgendorffer strode lightly and freely from his home in the neither large nor small town of Lawndale, whistling a jaunty tune. As a bird overhead replied in counterpoint and he felt the warm sun of the spring afternoon, and caught the faint lush fragrance of some neighbour's flower garden wafting towards him, he reflected that he'd never felt so alive.

'I play in the street...'

Withdrawing a pack of cards from the pocket of his suit jacket, Jake sauntered into the middle of the street and sat down. After giving the deck a quick shuffle, he dealt himself out a game of Solitaire and searched keenly for his first move. Ah! Red seven on the black eight!

'Jake, you crafty fellow, you,' he gloated silently, completely unaware of what was to happen next.

'I get hit by cars...'

Jake had just succeeded in placing the ace, two, and three of diamonds up above his game, when a squeal of breaks filled his ears.

'Gah dammit,' he lamented as it quickly transpired that the car would not be able to stop in time.

The car swerved to the left, clipping Jake, who had leapt to the right a moment too late, in the left leg.

"Ow..."

'I make mashed potatoes...'

Two hours later, after an emergency trip to that same variety of room (emergency, that is), our ever persistent Mr. Morgendorffer was back home again, hobbling from his home as quickly as he could with a bulky cast on his left leg, crutches beneath his shoulders, a pot of potatoes in one hand, and a masher in the other. He whistled that same jaunty song, feeling only slightly less alive as he made his way once again into the middle of the road. There, he sat down with his right leg curled under him, his left stretched out, and the pot in his lap. Mashing away doggedly, Jake was so deeply engrossed in his task that, once again, he failed to hear certain disaster approaching.

'...and get hit by cars!'

"Jake," Helen Morgendorffer groaned in despair, standing over her battered husband, the fingers of his right hand curled weakly around a bent and twisted potato masher.

"Ow..." Jake replied quite brilliantly as Helen shouted for Quinn to call another ambulance, and for Daria to telephone the clinic and demand to know what on earth medication they were giving Jake for his heart problems.

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End Notes: Yeah! I outdid myself in the 'stupid songfic' department! In the same night! I promise not to do any more of these. I just had to be able to say that I had written a bad songfic...or two. As far as I can see, they're almost as much of a rite of passage in the grand pastime of fan fiction as are Mary Sue 'fics. ^_^