Chapter One

The smell of blood and bleach is something that I've grown accustomed to. My knees begin to hurt but I keep scrubbing as the stench bites into my nostrils. The crimson stains look stark in contrast to the white of the bathroom tub. I cough and wring the rosy water into the tub. Bathtubs are one of the best places to clean up blood and we're usually a lot more careful. Blood stains cover the front of my jeans and encrust my fingernails. These are the only remnants of the person it used to be, at least, all that's left after the acid did its work. I sigh and let the water drain lazily down the drain and wonder how many people's blood I've had dry under my nail beds.

I stand and begin to peel my stained clothes off of me. I stuff them into a garbage bag along with the bloody rags. I stand in my underwear and look over the tub to make sure I didn't miss anything. The floor and outer part of the tub gleam spotless under the bathroom's harsh lighting. I yawn and stretch, I'll let Guinness go over it before we leave just to be sure.

A stir in the other room and Guinness gets up from his haunches to pace in front of the door. I sense him coming down the hallway and his step sounds light. Everything must have gone smoothly. I sigh in relief and Guinness lets out an expectant whine. Smiling to myself I begin gathering up my cleaning supplies. I observe myself in the bathroom mirror just as I hear him turn the lock to the apartment. Guinness lets out an excited bark and I hear keys drop onto the coffee table. I turn on the water to wash my arms under the warm stream. I feel Esben's presence materialize behind me and he whispers. "Annika." I don't flinch when I feel his eyes on my bare skin.

I lather and I scrape underneath my nails. "Did everything go smoothly?"

"Of course," He responds coolly. "Is the bathroom all cleaned up?"

"Yes to the best of my ability. You may have Guinness do a round."

He nods and turns to Guinness. "Guinness clean," Guinness's nails click against the tiles as he sniffs the perimeter of the room occasionally lapping at any missed spot. Finally he finishes and sits at Esben's feet looking up expectantly with his amber eyes. "Well done," Esben whispers and rubs between Guinness's large black ears. I finish up washing and dab a clean towel over my arms. I feel Esben regard me with his dark gaze. I turn to face him and return his stare. "We need to talk about what's been happening." Esben's face remains closed and his eyes fall away.

"There's nothing you need to worry about."

"Please tell me the truth, Esben. I can tell when you are lying to me."

He continues to avoid my eyes but turns and swiftly leaves the bathroom. I sigh and follow him to the other room. He slouches down onto the sofa and stretches out his long legs before him. I cross my arms and lean against the doorframe waiting for him to respond. He remains quiet with his head fallen back on the sofa. I feel an inkling of hunger rising in the pit off my stomach but try to push it away. I try to ignore it until I finally get some answers from him. A couple copper strands fall into his face and his expression turns dark. "Do you really understand me so easily Annika?" He finally whispers.

"I know you better than anyone else does."

He taps his fingers on the arm of the couch. A glint of his ring catches the beginning rays of dawn shining through the window. I cross the room and pull the curtains shut. The air feels cold in the room against my nakedness.

"What if there were things I wanted to keep secret?"

"There are no secrets between us." I reply.

He clenches his jaw but makes no other movement. I make my way back across the room and sit on the table next to his legs. "I promised to always be honest with you." I say quietly trying not to let my voice break. A knot is tying my throat closed around my words. "Why're you treating me like I can't be trusted?" He lifts his head at this and looks at me. I see in his eyes a flicker of sympathy but as quickly as it comes it fades from his eyes. Smoothly he sits up at looks at me before answering. "I do trust you Annika. You're the only person I trust." He sets his hand on top of my own and wraps his fingers around mine. There's a jolt of electricity where he touches me and my mouth goes dry. "That's why I never want to hurt you. That's why there are certain things I wish to keep quiet about. Will you respect my decision?" His eyes seem to plea silently.

Even if it was a caring motion his palm feels cold and unfeeling against mine. I frown and slide my hand out from under his. I rise quickly and move into the bedroom before he can reach for me again. I clench at my stomach as the familiar ache begins to fill my void. I lie down on my side of the bed and draw the covers up over my head. After a few moments I hear Esben's light footsteps find their way to the bed. His side sinks slightly as he eases himself onto the mattress. The space between us is heavy with silence. I feel worry fester at the pit of my stomach and roll onto my side. "You must be starving." He states quietly.

"I can do without tonight," I respond sharply. "I really do not feel like feeding."

Esben is silent to my response. I feel the shift as he moves out of the bed. I hear ruffling as his clothes slide from his body and land on the floor. I turn and look at him in the darkness of the room. He's merely standing there in shadow but I feel his eyes on me. "Don't be ridiculous." He finally says, his voice coming out sharp with reprimand. "You've gone hungry for a few too many nights. I intend to keep up my end of the bargain even if you do not wish it."

He leans across the bed for me and I slide away from him. He grunts and grabs me roughly by my wrist and drags me over to his side of the bed. I try to wrestle my arm free but his fist has an iron grip on me. He lifts the covers and pins me to the bed with his body. "When I entered into this partnership I had full intentions to fulfill it." He growls and presses against me. His body is painfully cold and heavy. I let out an angry cry and he clamps a hand over my mouth. I feel anger boil up inside of me but something rises to the surface before it. A sharp jolt of electricity claws out of my hollow and spreads throughout my limbs. It scalds me from the inside out and I want to cry out in pain. I feel as it reaches up through me and into Esben. He grits his teeth as it penetrates into him instead. He bears it in silence and keeps his bare skin pressed to mine, a gesture that in another time, another life, with another person would be so intimate. I feel my invisible force as it reaches into Esben's being and draws out what it wants. The pain begins to subside into a dull throbbing and Esben relaxes once more. Now I feel the electricity returning, filling me with a warm fullness to replace the void. Esben's breathing returns to normal and he slides off of me. I'm left feverish and out of breath but feeling better than I had been in a week.

Sleeping in the same bed is the closest we've ever come to being intimate, other than the feeding. But the feeding is something that is essential to survival, there's no romanticism behind the pain. Esben is not my friend and he's not a lover but he's something deeper than the two. Even though our bodies are together tonight he feels a million miles away. I find myself gripped with the fear that he's slowly releasing me from our bond. I finally shut my eyes and fall into a troubled sleep.