Texts From Unova

Disclaimer: I'll never own.


Cheren: Bianca, how do you brush a Lillipup's fur?

Bianca: I think getting a hairbrush is a start.

Cheren: Was that a joke? Because jokes like that don't translate well into words.

Bianca: I wasn't joking, but do you want to hear one?

Bianca: Okay, what do you say when a fighting type knocks a tree over?

Bianca: TIMBURR!

Bianca: Get it?

Bianca: Cheren? Are you there?

Bianca: Where'd you go?

Bianca: Please don't be mad at me, Hilda told me that one.


Hilda: I'm at home in Nuvema.

Hilbert: Yeah, and?

Hilda: My mom's not home, can you come over?

Hilbert: To do what?

Hilda: Kiss.

Hilda: Rip clothes off.

Hilda: Repeat.

Hilda: Get my drift?

Hilbert: As you know, I'm a hormonal teenager. Therefore, when ever a drift like this comes in my direction, I grab onto said drift for dear life.

Hilda: Is that a yes?

Hilbert: I'll be there in an hour.


Burgh: You're only mad because my paintings look better than anything from your photoshoots.

Elesa: And you're only mad because I can wear heels bigger than your dick.


Lenora: I found a moonstone in the park. I'm taking it.

Lenora: Update, a small child just picked it up.

Lenora: Stupid laws, I can't take it now.

Lenora: Oh wait, they just tripped.

Lenora: I have to be quick.

Hawes: Inform me if you grab it.

Lenora: FREE MOONSTONE!


Skyla: For the last time, I cannot give you a free skydiving trip with my plane.

Clay: Awwww...


Cilan: Cress, I had that expensive bottle of Merlot in the cellar and I went down there to find that said bottle empty. Do you know anything about this?

Cress: No, ask Chili.

Cilan: All right. Where is he?

Cress: Sleeping in the bathtub.

Cilan: What?! For how long?

Cress: Since lunch.

Cilan: AND WHY DID YOU WAIT UNTIL THE AFTERNOON TO INFORM ME THAT OUR MIDDLE BROTHER WAS CURRENTLY PASSED OUT?

Cress: I thought he was taking a nap!

Cilan: Cress, this is why we cannot have nice things.


Elesa: Did you get those photos I sent you?

Skyla: Yeah, so what do you plan to do with these outfits?

Elesa: Just pick the one that says: I'm here to look fabulous, battle, and participate in musicals! And I've been banned from the theatre because I had no idea that cutting that rope would cause set pieces to drop!

Skyla: Fluffy coat.

Elesa: Thank you!


Cheren: Did you teach Bianca how to make puns?

Hilda: Yes, and my student has finally graduated.

Cheren: Why did you do that? I am now trapped in an endless vortex of bad humour. That is the experience of being friends with you.

Hilda: My jokes are cheesy, but they're pretty gouda!

Cheren: Please stop.

Hilda: Hey, what music do Roggenrola despise? Rock 'n Roll, ugh!

Hilda: Hello? Four-eyes?

Hilda: Fine, leave then. I have better things to do.

Hilda: Actually, I don't.

Hilda: Hey, wanna hang out?


Grimsley: Yes! We are banging! I put quotations around the 'grinding' when I said: Level grinding.


Hilbert: I just tackled my twelve year old cousin and pinned him to the floor to brush his hair. I can handle a wild Bouffulant.


Brycen: Who wore it better? Me or Elesa?

Iris: Elesa.

Brycen: You little bitch. I got an entire team of ice types that could take your wimpy dragon types down.

Iris: Lots of dragon types can learn fire moves.

Brycen: Dammit!


Hilda: DESCRIBE YOURSELF TO ME.

Hilbert: Are you trying to sext?


For someone who enjoys E-rated games, I cannot write for children.