"Enguina! Are you coming inside for breakfast?"
Enguina heard Erumar's words, but they did not sink deeply enough into her brain for her to process them and then answer her; in fact, it was only a second before she entirely forgot someone had spoken. She was seated outside in her garden as she had been for nearly an hour. This morning she had woken with the dawn—annoying—and with no good reason to be awake. Legolas would have said that there must have been a reason, but she was more likely to assume it was because the bundle of mischief inside her refused to let her lie down longer than four hours put together before it decided to wake up and bounce around. If Legolas had been there, he would have laughed at her musings and kissed the top of her head—but he was not.
She breathed in the scent of the flowers around her and smiled even though her heart panged with longing for Legolas and his arms. Why did he have to be away? Oh, she knew the answer to that—Gimli had begged him to come to the Glittering Caves, and there was no chance he would not go at least for a little while. Legolas had not seen Gimli in little under two years, and the separation had been difficult on all of them. Even though she and Legolas were happily married, both of them had been missing the companionship they had found in the dwarf…and they were quite happily married indeed.
When she had come to Gondor to visit Arwen, she had not an inkling of the way Ilúvatar was about to touch and alter her life. To meet Legolas, to come to know him—to come to love him—had made such a difference in her choices. He had been her husband, she his wife, for little over three years now. They had been glorious years. They had spent so much time enjoying and celebrating the gift of one another that they had made little time for anything else aside from building their home. Tilting her head, she could easily see the glen where they had lovingly crafted it with the help of friends and family, the paddock and barn nearby for Lómë and Brethil. She loved their home, even the slightly crooked wall in the back guest room that made her smile and think of Gimli and Thranduil with love every time she saw it.
Then, after nearly three years of wedded bliss, Ilúvatar in his infinite grace had blessed them abundantly. Enguina had discovered she was with child! It seemed to her that the love of Ilúvatar continued to overflow, just as it was always promised to. When they realized that she was carrying a child, she and Legolas had been thrilled—and terrified. What would it be like? Much to her surprise, her pregnancy had been easy so far. She had not felt ill one day yet, though she supposed that was because she was an elf. All that seemed to be affecting her was the baby's sleep time; he desired to be awake when she desired to be asleep. Nevertheless, she had originally felt she could have wanted nothing more than to be happy with Legolas. She had been complete. Now, nothing could have filled her with more joy: to know that she was going to bear a child into this world that would be part of her and Legolas, to know that they had made this child together...
She knew that when she had met Legolas she had been blessed for all time, but the gift of a child was beyond her ability to comprehend. She had not expected something so wonderful so soon. Her thoughts once more turned inward as she felt the little one move inside her. Girl or boy? She wondered, but it made little difference for she would love and adore him or her; she already did. Rubbing her hand along her stomach, she sang the little lullaby she had made the babe in the time Legolas had been away.
Little dove within me, hear my gentle song
Lifting o'er the meadows, sighing soft and long
Mother is near, Mother is calling
Do you know whose voice so sweet?
Father journeys, yet comes swiftly
O'er the fields rides his white steed
La-la-lum, la-la-lum,
La-la-la-lay
La-la-lum, la-la-lum
La-la-la-lay
A Father cannot travel far
The rhythm brings him homeward bound
For Mother's loving arms are waiting long
And his heart is full of hearth and home
And you my little one within me
So safe and warm and close inside
Will one day ride beside your Father
Traveling through the woods, away
La-la-lum, la-la-lum,
La-la-la-lay
La-la-lum, la-la-lum
La-la-la-lay
"It is so beautiful to hear your sweet voice," sighed Erumar from somewhere behind her. Enguina startled easily and looked over at her in surprise.
"Oh! I did not hear you come out of the house," she replied with a blush. Just as she said the words, she remembered Erumar had spoken to her. "You did announce your presence, did you not? I do not know why I did not answer you."
Erumar smiled as she came around before her, noticing her embarrassment. "Oh, it is nothing, Enguina! You were singing so lovingly that when I saw you at last that I did not want to disturb you. Though you do sing more than you did in the last thirty years, I am not often privileged enough to hear it."
"That is because I am uncomfortable about others listening to me sing," she said honestly.
"You should not be," Erumar chided her. "I have heard Legolas tell you a hundred times—"
"A hundred times a thousand," Enguina interrupted with a smile, "but that makes it no easier. Come and sit with me." She touched the seat beside her, and Erumar did what she asked. "I am not an early riser, as you well know," she admitted with a sigh, "and I began with a bit of irritation at this wonderful being inside me, but...it is a nice morning, so I have forgiven the babe."
Erumar gave her a wry smile and said, "It is important not to remain angry with the baby. It will do you no good." She rolled her eyes. "And I have known you for many years, Enguina. Anyone who knows you would remember you prefer to sleep in the mornings, though you have learned to be awake sometimes to enjoy it with Legolas." She looked out across the meadow and sighed. "There is something about this place, so beautiful and fragrant. It is June and you can still smell the flowers as though they are just coming in bloom. It reminds me so of Lórien…when the Lady was still within it."
Enguina laughed. "Oh, my dear, that is Gondor. And yes, it reminds me so much of old Lórien that way. Wherever the Lady would walk there were such flowers! Yet here it is the same; Gondor blossoms in the celebration of the King on his throne."
"Ten years Aragorn has been King—"
"And it has been nearly three since we have seen him," Enguina added with a groan. "Three years since I have seen Arwen."
"But you have spent three lovely years here in Ithilien. You have made good memories."
"Oh, of course, Erumar!" Enguina said, reaching over and touching her hands. "I do not mean to sound ungrateful in the least way. I am thrilled that you are here with me and that Thranduil stayed for so long with us. Even Gimli was here as well and…"
Erumar tightened her hands on Enguina's. "You are missing your best friend."
Enguina looked sheepish. "I went without for nearly seventeen years. I should be all right for three, do you not think?"
"No, this last time was different," she replied softly. "You found your heart; you have been more alive in the last three and a half years than you had been in the last forty. Your relationship with Arwen, and with her husband, has changed for the better. It has grown into something more than it ever was." She smiled. "Even being as you are with child, that is why you had to let Legolas visit Gimli when the messenger came."
"I miss him," she caught herself whining. Frowning deeply, she sighed. "Forgive me. When I get like this I want to scream in annoyance." She looked down at her own hands. "I am sure you do as well. Perhaps even louder than me."
Erumar laughed. "I most certainly do not! Stop saying such things."
"I hate this feeling of longing," Enguina groaned. "I used to be so independent—"
"And then you married," Erumar interjected with a smirk. "Oh, your life is so terrible."
Enguina looked at her slyly. "Speaking of something other than life being terrible, I think you have been more alive in the last two years than you have in those after the War."
Rolling her eyes, Erumar gave her a good-natured smile. "Oh, this again?"
"In fact," Enguina said honestly, "I do not know if I have ever seen you this alive. What an interesting change."
"Do not poke fun," Erumar warned, and then she softened. "It is…nice…to come back to the world after feeling so lost in it for so long."
Enguina nodded. "Oh, I know. I could not agree with you more."
"Yes," Erumar continued softly, "you would very much understand that."
Enguina's stomach suddenly turned, her nose crinkling with the smell of burning meat. "What is that terrible—"
Erumar's eyes suddenly widened in horror and she leapt to her feet. "Dear Eru, the sausages!" Turning, she bolted down the path towards the house, Enguina laughing at her fleeing figure. She, in fact, remained for several more moments before she too finally stood to follow.
She reached out and traced her fingers gently across the beautiful Elvish script that Legolas had carved into the seat's wooden frame. "Come home to me soon, my darling," she whispered, laying her hand on her abdomen. "Hurry to both of us. We miss you."
I see your ocean magnificent, Lord
I hear the gulls cry their praise
The sand is warm with the heat of the sun
In honor of you, my voice I raise
I sing for I cannot be silent
In the presence of such majesty
This morn is for my eyes alone
I feel peace, and forever free
From burdens, from chaos, from life itself
The touch of your hand is what I need
Your faithfulness, your steadfast love
The quiet of the sky, the sea
Renew my heart; keep me in your will
I lay my cares before your seat
Find any ill way in me
And lead me to sit at your feet
Her song complete, Arwen sat staring out upon the ocean's waves, captivated as each one rolled into the shoreline near her feet. The water just lapped at her toes; soon she would either need to retreat, or be willing to get wet. At the moment, she was not inclined to move. There were few things that blessed her heart as much as being alone with Ilúvatar. The cry of the gulls echoed in her ears and the ocean was simply a sight for her eyes. There were few clouds in the sky, and those that were present caught the light and reflected it upwards, making the sun's rays spread out like a fan. The reds, purples, and oranges lit her face as she deeply breathed in the salty sea air. It brought peace to her soul. She breathed out and leaned back on her hands, her fingers splaying out into the sand, the natural wind of the ocean whipping her dark hair back and forth across her face—she paid it no mind. Her eyes saw only what was before her.
What a pleasant morning, Father. I am touched by your Presence; I am reminded that there are days that you paint the sky just for my eyes. What a wonderful gift you have provided for me. Thank you; thank you, Father. Such a spectacular view to share with me as we journey homeward. How I needed a last few moments of peace!
Closing her eyes, she continued to let the ocean breeze caress her face. It just felt so good to be still. She was so used to busyness; the last few months had been full of meetings and a struggle to make peace with the Haradrim. Though she was not often included in the affairs of the men, she had remained very near to Aragorn's side through the negotiating, thankful to be included among Imrahil's people. But now, on their return journey, there was nothing more that she wanted than to be still.
A hand caressed her bare shoulder and brushed the length of her hair away from her back.
Except, perhaps, that.
Ilúvatar knew her better than she knew herself. She smiled as she felt Aragorn slide into a comfortable position behind her, and she sat forward only to lean back against him a moment later, resting her hand on his knee as his leg lay in the sand alongside her, toes bare just as hers were. Nestled tenderly against his chest, she turned her smiling face towards his neck where she felt the brush of his lips against her forehead.
"Hanyo réman, vanimelda, [Good morning, fair-love,]" Aragorn whispered, kissing her forehead again. "[You are awake and walking early this morning.]"
She smiled into his neck. "[Yet, I was not long without you. I am glad you are here.]"
"[I feel the absence of your presence, faithful one. My side grew cold.}"
She chuckled, but was silent a moment, opening her eyes and resting them once more on the Sea. He was quiet, too, as he listened to the waves beat on the cliffs and hearing the gulls cry. Aragorn smiled, closing his eyes against the breeze blowing in from the ocean. She glanced at his face and was caught off guard by his peacefulness, the joy he held in being with her and in the things that she also loved. He was so handsome, her great love. She was glad she had not missed a moment of his aging in the last three years. If anything, he appeared even more distinguished than he had when he had first become King. Ten years…something to celebrate.
Lowering his chin and tilting his head, he met her eyes. There was something to be said about meeting her gaze, something that passed through her to him and then back through their beautiful connection. It was like a pulse, pounding through them. Love, love, love.
"I love this…" she said, though she had not wished to break the moment as she raised a hand to stroke his cheek. "Sharing the stillness…with you."
They had come to the shores of the Bay of Belfalas on their return journey from Dol Amroth. Still a part of Gondor, but mostly self-governed, Gondor needed to be present for the signing of treaties of peace with the Haradrim. Imrahil had needed their help. To see peace with those who had fought bravely for Sauron was nothing short of a miracle; both Aragorn and Imrahil had been excellent negotiators. They had spent several months there and now they were journeying home, taking a last few peaceful days by the Great Sea that poured into the Bay.
Aragorn ran a calloused hand along her shoulder again. "One of Ilúvatar's many blessings." He looked at her, so content in his arms, and wondered at how that would change when they returned home. Things were so very different here, in the Wild, away from all of the noise and commotion that the city of Minas Tirith brought with it. Here, they could be together and at peace. Here, they could find some solace in the One who brought them both into being. He looked down to her bare shoulder as her exposed flesh drew him in, begging him to kiss her. He studied the way her shoulder met the nape of her neck and bent his head to touch his lips to her throat.
She smiled and almost laughed at him, knowing he found it extremely difficult to resist her skin; the moment was very sensual. Her eyes closed as he stopped kissing her and simply rested on her shoulder; she knew he was just breathing her in. Gently winding her fingers into his hair, she whispered, "How I love you." The ocean lapped over her toes.
"Forgive me, beloved," he murmured into her. "Stirring those feelings in you when the encampment is just over the rise…"
"Mmm," she replied. "Inappropriate." She was teasing him.
"Completely," he agreed, yet he did not lift his head, nor she unwind her fingers except to stroke a finger along his right ear. "Though, we have had very little time alone these past few months. Perhaps we should take advantage of it now, when no one is about."
"Perhaps…" she replied, and then she smiled. "How long do you think we have?"
He let out a long, heated breath on her skin. "Never long enough to love you."
"I believe that is my answer then."
He lifted his head to look her in the eye with a mischievous look. "Can you imagine Mennev's reaction if he were to come to the hilltop?"
She gave him a smirk. "Mmm. That would be very mean."
"I know," he sighed, and he tightened his arms around her. "To picture the expression on his serious face, though…rather amusing."
"You would only embarrass him. Even now, he would blush to see us in such a state." She felt the water drawing higher, and she rubbed his knee gently beneath her hand. His feet were extended much farther into the water than hers. "Your feet are wet."
"And sandy." He raised one eyebrow. "Is that a problem?"
"Putting on your boots will be."
"If your dress gets soaking wet—"
"Stop with your teasing," she chided him, laying her head back against his shoulder. He rested his cheek against her hair, and both of them looked out again into the waves. "This has been a wonderful journey. I am grateful we were able to make it together."
"Yes," he agreed, "though I regret we will not be able to make our way past Ithilien on the way home."
Arwen smiled. "I miss Enguina, but I am certain she is well."
"And in good hands."
"Yes. I believe that marriage for her has been everything she hoped it would be…and if anything like us, much more than she expected."
He chuckled and kissed her gently before lifting his head. "Much, much more. For which I will never be able to thank Ilúvatar enough." He took one last look at the Sea. "Shall we help break camp? I hear the sounds of the men waking."
She nodded. "I heard them as well. I was trying to take in as much of this scene as I could; it may be a very long time before I see it again."
He pressed his lips to her temple. "Stay; enjoy the peace for a little while longer." He began to shift back and draw his knee up to rise but paused when her fingers tightened on him and she did not sit forward.
"Stay with me?" she asked softly. "Only a few moments longer."
Tightening his arms around her, he rested his cheek against her forehead. "Of course."
Skin pressed to Legolas's, back in the deep grass, and a face full of summer sun that woke her. The water of their brook tumbling over rocks fell on her ears and she shifted, feeling her husband's heavy weight on her and a grin lit her face. Blinking the dazzle from her eyes, she looked at the love laying within her arms, his head resting between her breasts, his hands curled at her side.
There was nothing more wonderful in her world than waking up to the touch of Legolas's skin against hers, the feel of him beside her, the smell of his body, his breath caressing her breast. After nearly two years of marriage, she was still unaccustomed to the miracle that was making love to him and being made love to by him. There was nothing like it; there never would be. Simply having him where he was at the moment, within her arms with his flesh against hers was enough to awaken her desire for him again. She had no idea how long they had been here, on the creek bank, but long enough that someone should have been asking where they were.
Raising her arms, she slowly ran her hands to and fro along his back, from hip to shoulder. There was no way she could abide waking and leaving him now; they were a fire that could not be controlled. They had learned months ago that if they truly desired to sleep, lying skin to skin and waking in the position they had fallen to when exhausted was not the answer. She looked forward to the waking of Legolas no matter what the time. She knew what followed when they fell asleep like this…a second wind—another round of love. They could hardly get enough of one another.
She let her left hand drag gently along his face, touching his nose, eyes, and smiling mouth.
Surprise!
"I did not think you were awake," she whispered, hearing his thought in her head.
"It is difficult to sleep when you are touching me." Lifting his head with lazy eyes, he raised one eyebrow. "How long have we been asleep?"
"No one is looking for us…" she muttered back as she felt his fingers uncurl and take her waist in his hands. "I have heard no voices."
"By the sun on your breast," he replied, planting a kiss between them, "I would say we have been here for several hours, it is past noon, and my father has already found us and left us to each other."
His words made her blush for more reasons than the mention of Thranduil.
So you are now telling the position of the sun by my breasts, my Prince?
You cannot blame me. He pressed another kiss against her skin, brushing his nose against her a few times. She shivered, but tried to focus.
"No, your father would never have come looking for us. He has a greater understanding than you know." She caught the smirk on his face. "You said that only to get a rise out of me."
His fingers tickled the most sensitive places along her ribs where her skin tingled and she began to tremble visibly. "I know better ways to get a rise out of you, Guin."
"Mmm…" He shifted against her and she wrapped her hands around his biceps, tugging at him so she could reach him with her mouth. Come…please…
He gave in. She could sense the delight in his mind as he pressed his chest to hers, leaning hard on his hands to take some of the weight from her, kissing her. But she wanted that weight, his familiar pressure against her, and she slipped her leg over his to tug him closer, wrapping an arm around his shoulders and another around his neck. His arms buckled with the force of her dragging him; he had not been ready for it. Her giggle sounded in his ears as he rolled over onto his back, taking her with him as she was pressed so tightly to him.
"I caught you off guard," she teased him softly, and he began mercilessly kissing her throat as she made sure to maneuver herself and rile him up, hands included. It worked, as he growled into her jugular.
"You drive me mad…"
"Good." She began giggling again when his hands wrapped her waist again, this time an attempt to hold her still, not to tickle her. Oh no, I think not, Legolas.
"Ilúvatar in Heaven," he muttered into her skin, "stop the giggle."
It only made her do it more.
Enguina rolled over onto her back, groaning in frustration, images of Legolas lying on his back beneath her in the grass firing through her skull. Her hands felt as though they had just left his skin. There was no way in the depths of Morgoth she was going to be able to sleep. She tossed off the sheet, rubbed her face, and ungracefully clambered to her feet. Feeling parched and 'awake,' she made her way out to the dining room to fill a cup with water.
These dreams were driving her mad. This was the fifth one about her passion for her husband in less than two weeks; she wanted him home. Although most dreams of Legolas centered on her longing for him, some were simply about time spent together. Those dreams seemed to bring others into focus as well—Arwen, Aragorn, Faramir, Éowyn, even Thranduil. It had been too long since she had laid eyes on them. It was clear that she was lonely.
As she walked, she noticed a light coming from down the hall; Erumar must have been awake as well. Enguina came quietly around the corner and found her seated at the table, her head resting in her hands, eyes closed.
"What time is it?" Enguina asked, and Erumar started, dropping her hands from her face.
"You surprised me," she replied, studying her as she walked into the room.
"It is the middle of the night, is it not?" Enguina added. "What are you doing awake?"
Erumar tried to smile at her. "I could ask you the same." Enguina reached over and poured herself some water from the pitcher that already sat in front of her friend. "You had a dream," she added, looking at her face closely. She had noticed easily in the light that Enguina seemed a bit out of breath and her face bore a slight sheen of sweat.
Enguina laughed. "Can you hear my heart beating over there?" Erumar looked concerned, but Enguina only smiled, shaking her head. "Not quite what you are thinking."
Erumar's eyebrows raised. "You seem…different. Not—?"
"Not in the slightest." She took a seat across from her. "I was dreaming about Legolas."
Erumar laughed with her and leaned back in the chair. "Oh dear."
"Laugh all you want," she said, tossing her hair back over her shoulders. "I feel a bit miserable about it, honestly. I mean…it is unusually ridiculous to be having dreams about my missing husband. Never mind that they are…provocative."
"Forgive me for laughing."
"No, please," Enguina replied, smiling. "I cannot even begin to imagine how I must appear. These dreams are coming more frequently, and they are not only about him."
"Arwen?"
"Sometimes," she admitted, sighing. "Though obviously those dreams are not the same. Sometimes the dreams are of others." She frowned thoughtfully. "Would you be terribly offended if I spoke plain?"
"Hardly," Erumar replied dryly. "I wish you would."
Enguina studied her, noticing a slight tightness around her friend's eyes. Something was not quite right…and there was no point in asking. Erumar would never speak of it; instead she would have to bargain. "Only if you will."
She rolled her eyes. "Perhaps. Now feel free to offend."
"I believe I am lonely," she said suddenly. "I would be utterly lost without you here with me, and I am so grateful that you stayed. I love you, Erumar, but I really do miss the others. I became so used to them, so used to the bustle of Minas Tirith that after three years out here, I feel as though I am missing something. I mean, it was quiet in Lórien, at the end, but this is different." She laughed at the look Erumar was giving her. "I know, I know! I said that I could never get used to Minas Tirith. I would never want to live there, and that part at least remains true. I only miss certain things about it."
"It is quiet here."
"Yes. Do you understand? I feel as though I do not know what is going on in the world, even though when I was in Lórien I never cared what was going on outside its borders. Honestly, could nearly five years change me so completely?"
"Your 'neighbors' here are few, and they do not live nearby," Erumar agreed. "You cannot walk out your door and visit the King's House."
"Or you," Enguina insisted. "Even in Lórien, people were close. It is not quite the same here. I enjoy the privacy, but…perhaps if Legolas were here I would not be feeling like this. I would not be feeling trapped in this house."
Erumar tilted her head. "Trapped? This is your home, Enguina. Where else should you be?" Enguina sighed, looking frustrated, and Erumar reached out, covering her hand. "Night changes many thoughts. You miss Legolas. This is your first separation from him; it is natural to miss him."
"It is?" Enguina looked completely relieved.
Erumar smiled. "Of course it is. I think we should certainly speak more about it…but perhaps in the morning light over breakfast. You and I should both be resting; it is so late."
Enguina's eyebrow rose. "You are running from this conversation."
"I am not," she denied. "I am reminding you about your well-being. You are with child—"
"Do not use that excuse," Enguina said, rolling her eyes. "I am perfectly fine, and sleep is useless when I am wide-awake. Tell me what woke you that you are here. I stated what I am feeling; I thought I would share," she added pointedly.
It was Erumar's turn to roll her eyes heavenward. "Thoughts, Enguina. Thinking deep thoughts kept me awake."
"Who? What?"
"The future."
"Thranduil?"
Erumar shook her head, defeated. "Why must any discussion about my future be entwined with Thranduil in your mind? Honestly, Enguina—"
"Because you are thinking about him; because he clearly enjoys spending as much time with you as you do with him; because he invited you to visit him in Eryn Lasgalen—was fairly insistent about it as well." She crossed her arms as she leaned back in her chair. "So, if you were not thinking of Thranduil, what were you thinking of?"
"If you must know, I was thinking what I should do with myself once your little one is born. I cannot stay here forever—"
"Yes, you—"
"—and I should not," she said firmly. "You and Legolas have a life together now. This is not the place I belong." Enguina and Erumar fell silent for a moment.
"Well," Enguina began, "if you have no intention of ever visiting Eryn Lasgalen, you could build a home here, not far from us. Perhaps you should think of that."
"I would not say I have no intention of ever visiting," Erumar sighed. Enguina noticed Erumar's guard drop just before it happened, a thing that did not happen often. "I…do not wish Thranduil to get an impression of us together forever. I still do not know if that would ever be possible."
Enguina reached forward and set her hands over Erumar's. "Consider going. Thranduil does not expect forever, nor is he looking for it. You are good company for him. You must see it. Everyone—and I mean everyone—else does."
"That is…embarrassing." Erumar blushed and looked away. "And I do not think I wish to speak of it anymore." She got to her feet with an exaggerated smile. "Well, time for bed."
Enguina sighed. "Well, at least you are not angry about it as you used to be when I spoke this way, though you are still running. I suppose I should be happy with that bit of progress," she admitted, downing the rest of her water. Then she reached down and rubbed her belly. "If I am awake all night again because of this child, I am coming down to your room and waking you so you can please him. Nothing I do seems to make any change."
Erumar smiled, holding the lantern, as Enguina got to her feet. "Please, come and wake me. That I would be more than happy to stay awake for." She wrapped her arm around Enguina's shoulders and kissed her temple as the two of them made their way back toward their rooms.
"You may hear me up again," Enguina sighed. "If I have one more dream about Legolas, I may have to douse myself in cold water." Erumar smirked at her words.
"Perhaps you should sleep on the divan? Perhaps your bed is where your trouble begins."
Enguina shook her head, blushing. "If the trouble is with my bed because I have made love to Legolas there," she replied dryly, hooking a finger over her shoulder, "I had better go sleep in the barn."
Her friend broke up into laughter.
