"I think perhaps now... I'm speaking as a woman and not as a queen. At the beginning, I thought that you were the father I never had. But now I feel… I know... that you are the only companion I could ever desire."
Lord Melbourne's green eyes flashed a little, and he took a half step back from his queen.
"Companion," he repeated. "If only I were worthy of such a title, Ma'am."
"You think yourself unworthy?" She studied his expression, as difficult to read as ever, and she assured him, "Trust is not something I throw about lightly, Lord M. And you know very well that the list of people I genuinely care for is short indeed."
"Ma'am." Lord Melbourne turned his eyes away, scuffing his boot on the gravel and shaking his head a bit. "Someday you will marry, and the man will not be me. He can not be me."
"And why not?" Victoria tipped her chin up imperiously and played her fingers together. "They say my people would most prefer an English marriage. And you are a viscount."
"I am your Prime Minister, Ma'am," Melbourne reminded her. He put his hands on his hips and shrugged a little. "The Tories… do you suppose they would be very happy with anything official? Anything hinting at being official? Your impartiality has already been questioned to death. I would be dragged permanently from politics, and… and… Your Majesty, you will find a fine man to whom you might commit your heart."
"I have already found him," Victoria said quite firmly. "I am looking at him now. It is your prerogative to reject me, at least in this matter, but do not pretend it is because of my marriage prospects. If you find me undesirable, simply tell me and - "
"Undesirable?" He'd interrupted her, and the crackling unease that flared up between them revealed the depth of that impropriety, even in a conversation as personal as this one. Melbourne's cheeks went scarlet at once, and he bowed his head as he muttered, "Pardon me, Ma'am; I did not mean to interrupt."
"Well?" Victoria took a step closer to Melbourne and tried to swallow past the knot in her throat. "Is it really just politics, Lord M? I understand my life is for England. I understand that I belong to the British people, to my subjects. My heart is exempt. They can not reach it. It is mine, and if I wish to spare it from marriage, I shall. But tell me, Lord M. Do you reject me entirely in the name of politics?"
"I am not rejecting you," he said, staring down at his boots before raising his eyes to her. "The politician in me knows that the man by your side can not be me, despite what either of us may find most comfortable."
"You would be quite the consort," Victoria mused, her lips twitching a little as she sniffed. It was too cold for the dress she'd worn, she realised distantly. The air around Brocket Hall had a chill in it, a bite. Or perhaps it was just her Lord M that did. But the coldness in his face thawed a little now, and he scoffed a bit as he whispered,
"Are you asking me to marry you?"
Victoria tipped her head and felt a pang of anxiety go through her.
"I am asking for you. As much of yourself as you will give me."
"I would deny you nothing, Your Majesty," Melbourne said seriously, "but all expectation is that you will marry shortly."
"Then I should like a proclamation drawn up," Victoria told him sternly. She picked at her gloves and pinched her lips. "A proclamation stating that the Queen has no intention of marriage at present, that we will focus our attentions on the welfare of the people and the advancement of the realm."
"The advancement of the realm." Melbourne raised his eyebrows and gave a cheeky little smile. "Ma'am, it is neither expected nor appropriate that you would issue a public proclamation about your personal life."
"And yet they all seem to find my personal life so very public," Victoria quipped. "I grow weary of demands that I marry, of machinations to bring me Russians and Germans as though they are goods on offer and I am obligated to buy something."
"I can not be your lover," Melbourne informed her. "Elizabeth's time was long ago. People are different now. The monarchy would be in crisis if society knew that you -"
"Oh, hell take society, then," Victoria snapped, quickly realising how ludicrous that sounded. She swallowed hard and felt her eyes burn. "I am sorry to have disturbed you, Lord Melbourne. I was a fool to come. I am a fool about a great many things."
"You are a great many things," Melbourne informed her, "but you are not a fool."
He dared to step closer to her then, a palm going to each cheek and making Victoria lose her breath. She should slap him for touching her like this. She should have him arrested for touching the Sovereign like this. Instead she closed the gap between them and covered his hands with hers.
"Tell me, Ma'am, what precisely it is that you want of me," Melbourne said, his eyes darting wildly as he seemed to lose his nerve. Victoria squeezed on his hands a little and said,
"I just… don't want to leave you," she told him honestly, "and I do not want you to leave me. Riding out with you… long walks with you… talks beyond dispatches. These things I would lose the day I became another man's bride. I know it. I would lose them if you were no longer my Prime Minister. And I refuse to lose these things. I wish to keep you, and to have you keep me."
"But, Your Majesty," Melbourne said, shaking his head, "A queen can be kept only by her crown."
"I told you I came here as a woman, not a queen," Victoria reminded him. "Tell me, Lord M. I propose that you be my companion, all political considerations aside. Do you reject or accept my proposal?"
He sighed, his breath shaking a little through his nostrils, and he bent closer to Victoria. He touched his lips to her forehead, and Victoria shivered at the feel. His lips went to one cheekbone and then the other, and Victoria was almost expecting him to kiss her on the mouth. Instead, he pulled back and took her hand in his. He bowed and bent a knee and kissed her knuckles, just like he always did. Then he stood and informed her,
"I serve my queen in every way I can as Prime Minister. If it is her command… her wish… then I shall serve her as her companion, as well."
Victoria's heart raced, and she squeezed his fingers as she nodded.
"Right," she whispered. "We are very pleased, Lord M. We are very, very pleased."
Author's Note: This short prelude sets the scene for an alternative history that will be novel-length. I hope you'll stick around for the romance and its fallout, and I'd be very grateful for feedback. Thank you!
