Episode 5: Super Jerrie and Turbo Teazer vs. The Ultimate Train Wreck
The Madcap Adventures of
Super Jerrie and Turbo Teazer
Faster than Macavity's speeding bullet
More powerful than Skimbleshanks' locomotive
Is it a bird?
Is it a plane?
Is it the Great Rumpus Cat?!
HECK NO! It's
SUPER JERRIE!!!
And his sidekick TURBO TEAZER!
A giant J flashes onto screen
A Tom Cat walks into a room. The walls are covered with newspaper clippings of a ceartain dynamic duo. The clippings say things like "Super Jerrie Saves the Day!" and "Super Hero Siblings Do it Again!" The Tom has been tracking the twins' growing fame from the beginning. He now tacks up and article that says "Super Jerrie Save the Winter Wonderland Ball!" He grumbles to himself, and bitterly scratches the newspaper article with his claws.
Back at headquarters…
Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer are standing at their door, talking to a very excited Etcetera.
Etcetera: The Rum Tum Tugger is going to find the next great talent!
Mungojerrie: That's great! Stops to think,, which is something Mungojerrie doesn't do often, unless he's Super Jerrie. Why'd you come to us?
Etcetera: I wanna learn how to play the piano! Maybe then I can be on his show!
Rumpleteazer: We can't teach you how to play the piano when we don't even know how to ourselves!
Etcetera: I know THAT. You used to be thieves! You wouldn't have had a classical education. I came to you because I need a ride to Uncle Skimble's!
Mungojerrie: Oh! You mean Skimbleshanks!
Etcetera: Duh I mean Skimbleshanks! He said he knows how to play the piano, and I was wanting to ask him if he'd teach me! But the train station's a really long way off…
Mungojerrie: We'll droive you!
Etcetera: Thanks! Mungojerrie, Etcetera, and Rumpleteazer get into the gettaway car and start driving.
Rumpleteazer: What's the name of Tugger's show?
Etcetera: Dreamily. The name of his show? It's called "Fame: The Rum Tum Tugger's Search For the Next Great Talent!"
Mungojerrie: He just had to put his name in there, didn't he?
Rumpleteazer: Excited. Ooh! Oooh! Jerrie Jerrie Jerrie!!!!
Mungojerrie: Keeping an eye on the road. What?
Rumpleteazer: Oi wanna be in the talent show! We could do stuff!
Mungojerrie: We don't have a talent!
Rumpleteazer: Pretty please?! With a CHERRY on top?
Mungojerrie: Oi hate cherries.
Rumpleteazer: Pretty please?! With a STRAWBERRY on top?
Mungojerrie: Oi hate –
Rumplteazer: Oh come ON Jerrie! Can we be in the talent show PLEEEEASE?!
Mungojerrie: Pulling into the train station. All roight. We'll be in it.
Rumpleteazer: Yay!
Etcetera: What are you guys gonna do?
Rumplteazer: Sing!
Mungojerrie: We're not gonna do anything roight now except march into that train station to see Skimbleshanks!
Rumpleteazer: To Etcetera. He's got a bee in his bonnet.
Mungojerrie: Opening the door to walk into Skimbleshanks'. Skimbleshanks! 'ELLO!!! Skimbleshanks comes running down the stairs.
Skimbleshanks: From kitchen. Let me wash my hands first! Mungojerrie, Rumpleteazer, and Etcetera sit down. Skimbleshanks fixes a fake smile on his face, and walks to into the room.
Skimbleshanks: Why hello there, Mungojerrie. And Rumpleteazer too! Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer look at each other. Why is he talking so fake? What's up with that!
Skimbleshanks: Hello, Etectera.
Etcetera: Hi, Uncle Skimble! Etcetera gives an approving nod. I came over to ask you a splendiferous question!
Skimbleshanks: Oh? Pouring Earl Grey tea with a shaky paw. And what might that be?
Etcetera: Could you teach me to play the piano? Big cheesy grin.
Skimbleshanks: Eye twitches. Of courrrse I can. Look up at Mungojerrie. Why did he have to come with you?
Etcetera: Oh he had to drive me. Sigh. Cuz I'm too YOUNG to drive yet. Tut tut tut. Oh well. Anyway, could you help me?
Skimbleshanks: Didn't I already say yes?
Etcetera: Great! Ooh, when do we start?!
Skimblshanks: What's the today?
Etcetera: Come
again?
Skimblshanks: What's the today?
Etcetera: What's the today? It's the Wednesday.
Skimbleshanks: Thursday. Your first piano lesson will be Thursday.
Etcetera: Groovy! C'mon guys, let's go home! Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer look suspiciously at Skimbleshanks, then take Etcetera and leave.
Back at headquarters…
The Twins are enjoying a nice spaghetti dinner at home with their agents. Mungojerrie starts thinking (which is something Mungojerrie never does unless he's Super Jerrie, henceforth making it terribly dangerous).
Mungojerrie: Hey Agent Tantomile.
Agent Tantomile: Whispers under breath. Oh no. To Mungojerrie. Yes?
Mungojerrie: Our giant "J" didn't flash on the screen in our last adventure.
Rumpleteazer: Always has a good explanation for something. It was to cold for him to come out. Takes a gulp of Coke and stuffs a meatball in her mouth.
Mungojerrie: And another thing…Cassandra never said HECK no. Doesn't all of our villains say that, Rumpleteazer?
Rumpleteazer: She's just stupid.
Agent Tantomile: Perhaps the forces of Life did not collaborate with the stars in the heavens that day.
Mungojerrie: Feeling stupid. What?
Agent Coricopat: She means to say that maybe it wasn't meant to be.
Mungojerrie: But the theme music and credits didn't play either.
Agent Tantomile: Oh. Well then it might have just been a glitch in our regular scheduled programming.
Agent Coricopat: Precisely.
Mungojerrie: Oh. All is well.
Back at Skimbleshanks'…
We now know that Skimbleshanks was the one who slashed the newspaper clipping.
Skimbleshanks: Didn't
we already know that?
He had to wash his hands to remove the
ink that had leaked off from the newspaper.
Skimbleshanks: I have paws. Not hands.
We also find out that he is a KNOW IT ALL.
Skimbleshanks: Ignoring narrator. I have to be as famous as Super Jerrie and his crazy little sister Turbo Teazer. All they've done there WHOLE lives is steal WHILE I have worked on the train and done NOBLE THINGS!
Somebody has issues.
Skimbleshanks: Issues? ME HAVE ISSUES? I would never have ISSUES over the fact that MUNGOJERRIE decided to quit stealing and be SUPER JERRIE and everyone is fine with it and seems to FORGET that HE used to steal from MY train when I was the one who was doing good for THEM and baby sitting there runny nosed KITTENS when I had BETTER things to do on MY train! Issues?! OF COURSE I HAVE ISSUES! Paces across the floor. But I can't just sit around and do nothing about it. I have to be famous. Thinks. But pray how? Takes out his book of great train robberies. Of course I can't rob my own train, but maybe I can use the train to my advantage. Light bulb pops up above head. Idea! Goes into a room and takes out a roll of rope. You can go to a different part now. I have to get ready.
The next day at Fame: The Rum Tum Tugger's Search for the Next Great Talent…
Everyone had been autitioning for Tugger's show early in the morning. It's Jennyanydot's turn. She takes mice out of purse.
Tugger: Hey there, Jenny.
Jennyanydots: The name is Jennyanydots. Sets mice up on stage, one after another. All right boys! Clicks radio on. Hit it! Macarena begins blasting from the stereo. The mice begin to do the dance. Jennyanydots is mouthing the words.
Tugger: Uh…yeah. That's creepy, but thanks anyway.
Jennyanydots: The reason those three messed up is because they're blind.
Tugger: Yeah. You're not on the show. But thanks. Jennyanydots stuffs her mice back into her purse. In comes Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer. Rumpleteazer gives a seductive wink at the Tugger and begins singing.
Rumpleteazer: SOME WHERRRE OOOOOOOOOOOOVER THE RAINBOWWWWW! WHERE BIRDS FLLYYYYYYYYY! Mungojerrie stands there, waiting for his solo, when the super phone on his super belt rings.
Mungojerrie: Oops. To Rumpleteazer. Hold that note a little longer. Walks off stage.
Rumpleteazer: Confused. YYYYYYYYYYYYYY!
Mungojerrie: Answers phone. Hello?
Agent Coricopat: On other end of phone. Hello.
Mungojerrie: We're in the middle of audition. Oi'll call you back.
Agent Coricopat: You may not get off the phone.
Rumpleteazer: Still on stage, holding note. YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! Sucks in deep breath.
Mungojerrie: Whaddya want, Agent Coricopat?
Agent Coricopat: We realize you're busy, but duty calls. There has been a call from the police station. They need you to identify a Tom in jail. The police dog demands you come in your uniform.
Mungojerrie: Huff. Oh all roight. We'll be right down there. Hangs up phone.
Rumpleteazer: YYYYYYYYY! Faints from lack of oxygen.
Tugger: Hey! She finally died! Mungojerrie glares at the Tugger, and drags Rumpleteazer off stage and outside. He gives his sister CPR, which causes immature snickers from Carbucketty, who is dressed in a chicken suit and coming to audition.
Rumpleteazer: Thanks, Mungojerrie. Glares at Carbucketty.
Mungojerrie: Listen, Teazer. We need to go down to the police station –
Rumpleteazer: Eyes widen. Will Andy Griffith be there!
Mungojerrie: What? No! We have identify a Tom. The police dog demands we come in our costumes so, to transform, this sounds like a job for…
SUPER JERRRIE!!!!
Rumpleteazer: And his sidekick TURBO TEAZAH!!!!
Super Jerrie flips a switch on his suit which makes his cat-eye logo glow in the dark, but Turbo Teazer flips her switch only to find out that it doesn't work.
Super Jerrie: C'mon, Turbo Teazer! We have a Cat to – identify.
Turbo Teazer: Grabs Super Jerrie's arm. Can we go in the Gettaway Car!
Super Jerrie: Considers. We moight need to save that for a special occasion.
Turbo Teazer: Nods. Yeah, Super Jerrie. Oi thinks your roight.
J flashes onto screen.
Back at the police station…
Super Jerrie and Turbo Teazer use the cannon launcher to launch themselves over to the police station. When they get there, they go inside.
Super Jerrie: Never fear! Super Jerrie's here!
Turbo Teazer: And his sideckick Turbo Teazer!
Police Dog: Seriously. I asked you two to come over here to identify this Tom in jail. But the reason I asked you over here in your costumes is cuz I wanted to ask - Takes out a notepad and pencil. Can I have your autograph?
Super Jerrie: Signing paper. Course you can!
Skimbleshanks: Who is the Tom in jail. Hey! Come get me out.
Super Jerrie: Hold on. Snaps a picture of him, Turbo Teazer, and the Police dog. All roight. Goes over to the door. Skimbleshanks?
Skimbleshanks: Annoyed. Yes it's me. Don't you wanna know why I'm in here?
Super Jerrie: Unlocking the cell. Not really.
Skimbleshanks: I'm in here for commiting a very big crime.
Police Dog: Dragging Turbo Teazer, who is looking desperately for Barney Fife, out of employees only room. He actually locked himself in. I came here in the morning and found him.
Super Jerrie: Whoy on earth would ya do that, Mr. Skimble? Finally unlocks cell.
Skimbleshanks: Didn't the newspaper reporters come with you? Looks around Super Jerrie.
Super Jerrie: Uh…no. We don't call newspaper reporters unless something big happens – like someone gets killed our something. Light bulb pops over Skimbleshanks' head.
Turbo Teazer: Did somebody see a flash of light. Gasps for air. It wasn't The Maniacal Mr. Mistoffelees was it?
Skimbleshanks: Puts on fake smile. Yes…well then. Help me out and I'll go home. Thank you so much – Super Jerrie, for rushing over here so…quickly. Super Jerrie helps Skimbleshanks out of the jail cell. Good bye! Runs out of jail.
Super Jerrie: That was odd.
Police Dog: Well it's just Skimbleshanks – he can't do any harm.
Super Jerrie: Oi
suppose you're right.
Police Dog: To Turbo Teazer. My
daughters admire you. Girl power, ya know. Can I get your autograph
for them?
Turbo Teazer: Sure! Signs notepad. But now we have to go practice for the talent show the Tugger's having. C'mon, Jerrie!
Back at Skimbleshanks'…
Skimbleshanks is teaching Etcetera how to play the piano. She's playing a very fast train robbery song.
Etcetera: Giggles. This is fun! Plays it wrong.
Skimbleshanks: ARE YA DAFT?
Etcetera: Take a chill pill, Skimble. I thought you were supposed to be cheery or something.
Skimbleshanks: Well quit playing it wrong!!!
Etcetera: Gosh. I can't help it! I don't know what that note is!
Skimbleshnaks: For the last time! THE NOTE IS B SHARP!!!
Etcetera: B sharp?
Skimbleshanks: Yes!
Etcetera: But there's NOT a B sharp! B sharp is C natural!
Skimbleshanks: Just do as I tell ya, girly! Throws a theory book at her. Now study page 24! I have work to do! Escapes outside. Etcetera rolls her eyes, and turns to page 24.
Later that day…
Turbo Teazer: Still Turbo Teazer because they forgot to change. We have to figure out a song to sing at Tugger's Talent Show!
Super Jerrie: How about "Smooth Criminal?"
Turbo Teazer: Nah. Let's sing "Sk8er Boi."
Super Jerrie: Noooo!!! Agent Tantomile and Agent Coricopat come in.
Agent Coricopat: How about R & B superstar Raven Symone's smash hit "Supernatural?"
Everyone stares at Agent Coricopat.
Agent Coricopat: It's on my I-pod.
Agent Tantomile: We came to tell you that Skimbleshanks has already sent pictures of himself to the newspaper.
Agent Coricopat: And he has been making up stories just to get the newspaper to come to his house.
Agent Tantomile: They called us to say that you need to go control him.
Super Jerrie: He's just Skimbleshanks. He wouldn't hurt a fly!
Agent Tantomile: Appearances can be deceiving, Super Jerrie. Remember that in all you do.
Super Jerrie: So that means you could technically be Agent Coricopat? Agent Tantomile and Agent Coricopat give him the "Are you serious?" look.
Super Jerrie: Uh…yeah. We'll go to Skimbleshanks' right now. BlackBerry beeps.
Agent Coricopat: Who on earth could that be?
Super Jerrie: Reading text message. It's from tuggersgirl15.
Agent Coricopat: It is from Etcetera. Read it.
Super Jerrie: Reading. OMG! skimble is 2 wierd! he like, so blew out and tyed jemLove14 2 RRT! so knot kool! respond super kwik! :(
Turbo Teazer: He tied jemLove14 to the Rum Tum Tugger?!
Super Jerrie: No. Rum Tum Tugger would be RTT.
Agent Tantomile: I have telepathic powers, and I can not figure out whats he meant.
Agent Coricopat: OMG. Does that mean –
Turbo Teazer: What? None of you guys know what that means? Hand me that! Violently grabs the BlackBerry from Super Jerrie. OMG means Oh My God/Gosh! Skimbleshanks is too weird. He like, went nuts and tied Jemima to the RailRoad Tracks. So no cool! Respond quickly!
Agent Tantomile: Good work, Turbo Teazer.
Super Jerrie: But that means the Jemima is tied to the railroad tracks! BlackBerry beeps.
Agent Coricopat: Freaks out. READ IT! Agent Tantomile puts hand on Agent Coricopat's shoulder and looks at him. Thank you. I needed that.
Super Jerrie: Reading. And OMG! a train is koming! herry!
Agent Tantomile: Go! Take the gettaway car!
Super Jerrie: Come on, Turbo Teazer!
Turbo Teazer: Right behind ya, Jerrie!
Agent Coricopat: Throws a T shaped piece of metal st Turbo Teazer. Take this and attach it to your gloves!
Turbo Teazer: Catches it. Yo got it, Cap'n! They jump in car and it spins out of the driveway.
J flashes onto screen.
Back at Skimbleshanks…
Etcetera drags her piano outside and starts playing the train robbery song.
Skimbleshanks: Looks out at the horizon. Yes! Here comes a train!
Jemima: Kicking and screaming. Somebody! ANYBODY! HELP ME!!!!
Skimbleshanks: Looks down at Jemima. Nobody will come to help you, deary. But the newspaper reporters will HAVE to put this on the front page news! I'll be famous!
Super Jerrie: Step away from the girl, Skimbleshanks.. Skimbleshanks turns around to find Super Jerrie and Turbo Teazer.
Skimbleshanks: HECK no! Do you honestly think I'd give up fame for her life?
Super Jerrie: Oi warned you! WHAM! Hits Skimbleshanks to the ground, and then holds paw in pain. Turbo Teazer! Untie Jemima!
Turbo Teazer: C'mon, lovey! Untying Jemima. Don't be frightened. No one's gonna hurt ya! Unties Jemima. Jemima runs to safety next to Etcetera, who is still playing the piano. Super Jerrie has runs to the gettaway car to get the hand cuffs. But while Turbo Teazer is getting the rope off the train tracks, Skimbleshanks jumps up and ties Turbo Teazer to the train tracks.
Turbo Teazer HELP ME, SUPER JERRIE!!! The train is coming closer.
Super Jerrie: NOOOOO! All in one second, while watching in horror as the train comes closer to Turbo Teazer, Super Jerrie sees his little sister's life flash right before his eyes.
Super Jerrie: Don't you dare hurt moi little sister! He quickly attaches launcher to his arm and a giant loot bag launches 30 feet at the touch of a button – right into the front of the train. It catches the train in progress, but the bag starts to rip. Turbo Teazer! GET YOURSELF LOOSE!
Turbo Teazer: Remembers the piece of metal that Agent Coricopat gave her. She presses her hand against the ground to push a button, and a giant claw comes out! She uses it to cut the rope loose. She barely escapes before the train breaks through the bag. OI'M LOOSE!!!
Super Jerrie: Runs over to sister and picks her up. Don't scare me loike that again! Turns to Skimbleshanks and looks hatefully at him. And you…don't you EVER think you can do that to moi little sister!!! YA 'EAR ME!!! Woi oi oughta…
Skimbleshanks: You oughta what, Super Jerrie? Tell me how you use to STEAL from train? Demostrate how you use to talk back to ME? I WAS FAMOUS ONCE, YOU KNOW!
Super Jerrie: Uh…when?
Skimbleshanks: EVERYONE used to come to me for help! The darn TRAIN couldn't start without me! You used to be a down on your luck THIEF that would steal from someone as nice and kind as me! But when you decided you were gonna be SUPER HEROES and save everyone, then they all just accept you!
Goes on for three and a half hours…
Skimbleshanks: Do you underSTAND me?
Turbo Teazer: Playing with her saber claw. Sorry, I wasn't listening. What did you say?
Skimbleshanks starts over.
Goes on for three and a half more hours…
It's now 10:00 at night. Crickets chirp.
Skimbleshanks: So what are you gonna do to me Super Jerrie? What?!
Super Jerrie: Tired. Uh…pass?
Skimbleshanks' head gets red. It gets redder, and redder. He gets so mad, that he explodes in a burst of confetti, thus wasting one of his Jellicle lives.
Turbo Teazer: Catches confettic. How purty!
Jemima: Poor Uncle Skimble… Picks up his vest, which is all that is left of him.
Etcetera: Gosh, he isn't dead is he?
Super Jerrie: Nah. He'll probably come back to a different Jellicle life sometime.
Jemima: To Super Jerrie and Turbo Teazer. Thank you for saving me!
Super Jerrie: Don't thank us Jemima! It's out job! To Turbo Teazer. How did you get loose?
Turbo Teazer: Oi used this! Shows everyone her claw, which sparkles in the sun.
Super Jerrie: What's it called? BlackBerry beeps. It says it's from AgentTantomile. Starts reading. It is called the Saber claw and it is used to get out of any difficult situation. By pressing the button, you can bring the claw out or retract it. We gave it to you for knowing how to crack the code.
Etcetera: Sweet! Do it again, Turbo Teazer! Flicks out claw.
Jemima: Thanks again, you guys! It's getting late, and it's time all good kittens be in bed! Bye! Waves.
Turbo Teazer: You're very welcome! See ya at the talent show! Frantic. Which is tomorrow!
Etcetera: I can't learn how to play the piano in one day! Man! Why did Skimbleshanks have to go loco the day before the talent show! Sighs. I guess I'll just have to figure something out.
Super Jerrie: We don't know what we're gonna do yet, either. Thinks. IF we were to perform together…
Turbo Teazer: We'd be loike the Three Musketeers!
Etcetera: I LOVE that candy bar!
Super Jerrie: What's a song that three people can sing? They all think a minute.
Etcetera: NSync?
Super Jerrie: No…
Turbo Teazer: Menudo?
Super Jerrie: No…Oh I know! Alvin and the Chipmunks!
Turbo Teazer: Yeah!
Etcetera: I want to be Alvin!
Super Jerrie: No. I'll be Alvin.
Turbo Teazer: DIBS ON SIMON!
Etcetera: Aw, man! That leaves me as Theodore!
Super Jerrie: At least you have a performance.
Etcetera: Yeah. Do you think we can learn the lyrics by tomorrow?
Super Jerrie: Oi hope so…
The opening of Fame: The Rum Tum Tugger's Search For the Next Great Talent…
The Rum Tum Tugger is standing on stage. The judges are Gus, Alonzo, and Bombalurina. Munkustrap is mad because he wanted to be a judge. Tugger clears his throat.
Tugger: For our next performance we have Jerrie and the Chipmunks performing "The Witch Doctor!"
Music begins playing and the three come out
Mungojerrie: I told the Witch Doctor I was in love with you.
I told the Wicth Doctor you didn't love me too.
And then the Witch Doctor he told me what to do. He told me:
All Three: Oooh eee
oooh ah ah ting tang
Walla walla bang bang
Oooh eee oooh ah ah
ting tang
Walla walla bang bang
Oooh eee oooh ah ah ting
tang
Walla walla bang bang
Oooh eee oooh ah ah ting tang
Walla
walla bang bang
They sing the rest of the song. All the judges hold up signs with TENS on them.
Tugger: It's unanimous! Jerrie and the Chipmunks are the winners! Congratulations!
Mungojerrie: Thank you all! They get a Jellicle trophy!
Tugger: You are the next GREAT TALENT!!!
Mungojerrie: Leaps into the crowd and crowd surfs.
Rumpleteazer: Follow her brother's lead, and jumps into the crowd as well.
Etcetera: Jumps into crowd, but nobody catches her, and she goes splat.
Theme music and credits come on to screen.
It was just so long! It seemed like it kept going, and going, and going!
The title has two meanings (because I'm deep like that): There was literally a train wreck, and also a train wreck means somebody who's nuts.
The song they sang was from Alvin and the Chipmunks. Go to Amazon to listen to it on the movie soundtrack!
