Disclaimer; I don't own Naruto.

Sasuke and Neji are in there late twenties in this, 28 and 29 or something, while Kakashi and Gai are in there early forty's, 41, 42ish, Naruto is a Hokage in training, while Sasuke and Neji are Jonin, Jiraiya's age is irrelevant.

Chapter 1 ; Is that a kunai in your dress ?

-

Sasuke was pacing outside a door in the ninja academy, it was 7 pm which is when the adult classes began at the academy, things like 'cooking for ninjas' and 'kunai arts and crafts' where thought around this time, and Sasuke was struggling with his choice to take this class.

"Uchiha ?" that voice belonged to the former rookie Jonin Neji Hyuga.

"Hyuga, what the fuck are you doing here ?" asked Sasuke caught off guard.

"Same as you it seems." Said Neji looking at the ground ashamed, as Sasuke broke into a fit of laughter.

"No way, ironic isn't it, the two of us having trouble getting a date when we used to be drowning in fan-girls ?" asked Sasuke calming his laughter.

"Yes, and Lee and Naruto married our biggest fan-girls, not that I'm envious, have you seen Naruto's son ?" asked Neji chuckling a bit himself.

"The one with pink hair and blonde highlights or the blonde with pink highlights ?" asked Sasuke relapsing into laughter.

"There on my genin team, along with Tenten and Lee's daughter, the one with fuzzy eyebrows." Said Neji cringing at the memory of when he first met them.

"Did you try to cop a feel off Tsunade or something ? I don't think I've ever been this happy that the village doesn't trust me with genin." Stated Sasuke opening the door of the classroom.

"Keep laughing Uchiha, Naruto is still trying to get you that privilege and, SENSEI !" Neji broke off as he noticed that the occupants of the classroom where Might Gai and Kakashi Hatake.

"Sasuke, Neji your youthful faces make me feel so happy and youthful !" shouted Gai sweeping the two Jonin's into a hug.

"So me and Gai aren't the only one's with relationship problem's ?" asked Kakashi.

"Yosh, I challenged Kakashi to deflower up as many blossoms as possible and the pretty flowers said such mean and hurtful things." Wailed Gai, Sasuke gave the other two a look.

"He means 'have sex with' and 'women', Uchiha." It was Neji who assisted the confused Uchiha.

"You two must have had the same problem, My eternal rival our blossoming students are carrying on our rivalry." Announced Gai crying some manly tears to a background of a setting sun with two struggling prodigies under his arms.

That's when the teacher finally arrived into the class, the legendary Sannin Jiraiya, he took a quick glance around the room, three former prodigies and one paedophile.

"Am I in the wrong room ?" Asked Jiraiya.

"Nope, there just having a moment." Stated Kakashi pointing to Gai as he continued to hug the life out of the newly declared 'rivals'.

"O-kay then, I want to see what I'm dealing with so tonight two of you will be going on a double date I have prepared, the other two will make observations." Announced Jiraiya handing clipboards to Kakashi and Gai and condoms to Sasuke and Neji, whom gave him weird looks.

"You never know." Replied Jiraiya to the looks.

-

( A questionable club in Konoha. )

Sasuke and Neji were currently sitting next to each other, awaiting the arrival of there dates, and surveying the club, Neji had noticed that there were few men in the club, and the one's who were there were at least in there forty's and not very attractive, yet were pulling relatively attractive women, Sasuke noticed that the barmaid was surprisingly tall and broad shouldered, but more importantly she was taking forever to get him his fucking drink.

"So you two yummy little boys on a date together ?" asked the barmaid winking lewdly at the two.

"Hell no, double blind date." Replied Sasuke, ignoring that her voice was very deep.

Suddenly two women walked up to the two prodigies, a red head and a brunette, it was the red head who spoke first.

"You must be Jiraiya's boys then, yum I call the Hyuga, let's get us a table." And off she went dragging Neji with her.

Sasuke turned to pick up his drink and was horrified to see Jiraiya behind the bar, in a skirt and apron.

"Here ya go hun." And oh god Jiraiya just winked at him.

"Come on sweetie, before my friend drags yours into the bathroom for a quickie." Sasuke was too freaked out at the moment the resist and was pulled to a table by the brunette.

It didn't help that occupying the table next to there's was Kakashi, wearing a fake moustache over his mask, and Gai, in a wig and dress, Sasuke wasn't sure if he should be drinking, his perception was this fucked and all he'd done was sniff the drink.

"Come on Hyuga, get off that tight little ass and dance with me." Said the red head dragging Neji off to the dance floor, and before Sasuke knew it he to was being dragged off to dance.

The brunette was dancing awful close to the Uchiha, and Sasuke had his Sharingan activated to keep up with the brunets movements.

It happened to suddenly for Sasuke to react, the brunette threw her arms around the Uchiha's neck and pulled Sasuke into a deep kiss sticking her tongue as far back his throat as possible.

"Uh I never thought I'd see you in here Sasuke, though I had always hoped too, I actually had quite a few dirty dreams about it hmm." Whispered the brunette to Sasuke as she guided the Uchiha off the dance floor to the bathrooms, hands roaming over Sasuke's toned body.

"Do I know you ?" asked Sasuke, trying to move the brunettes hand off his ass.

"You really don't recognise me ?" asked the brunette, pushing the Uchiha into a cubical.

"It's me, Kiba, now, do you want to top or should I ?"

-

"Oh my God, I made out with Garaa of the sand." Cried Neji as he rocked back and forth on the floor of the classroom.

"Ok, I'll read the observations now, Kakashi said "I can't believe those idiots haven't realised that there practically having sex on the dance floor with Kiba and Garaa.", and Gai said "Our students have masterfully seduced the two blossoms with hidden lotus's ." O-kay that is creepy." Read out Jiraiya, causing Neji to wail out "I seduced a what ?"

Kakashi finally entered the room, pulling the last Uchiha with him, who was only wearing a towel and scrubbing his chest muttering "Unclean, Unclean,".

"Jiraiya, why in gods name did you set them up with cross dressers ?" asked Kakashi, fearing what Jiraiya may set him up with.

"How was I supposed to know they were guys ? Besides how do you know they don't swing that way ?" Asked Jiraiya

"Sasuke screamed when he found out and I found him an hour later in the school showers shouting 'unclean', and Neji's still crying on the floor." Stated Kakashi.

"Maybe they're in denial." Said Jiraiya.

Before Kakashi could retort, Sasuke and Neji turned to stare at Jiraiya and in unison growled "YOU !".

"Ah Kakashi, doesn't it bring a tear to you eyes to see your students viciously attack a Sannin ? So youthful." Mused Gai with his arm thrown around Kakashi's shoulder in front of a setting sun.

"No, but I think it is bringing some tears to Jiraiya's eyes."

-

And that's the end of the first chapter, please no one take offence at Garaa and Kiba's role, it was nothing personal they just came to mind first. Well if anyone wants a second chapter I want lots a reviews.

R&R