Disclaimer: Don't own, call back later.


It was a dark and stormy night, because Jak decided that he was going to have some fun with the Krimzon Guard, and by fun he meant using the dark power of eco against them. While he slowly accumulated a fairly large pile of severed appendages, he wistfully drifted back to the day he first started to receive these mystical powers.

Common knowledge told Jak that the dark side of his persona was a result of all the dark eco pumped into him from the great Baron, but he knew better. Only powers as great as these come from the dark lord himself: Satan. He wasn't the only closet Satanist in the Underground. He had a short peek at the large shrine in Torn's closet every once in a while. He worshiped that thing like a stripper loves her pole, very closely and with little clothing.

As an offering to the prince of darkness, it was only natural that he attack all of his chosen enemies. The red ones. Those selfish Krimzon guards mocked his holy color as if it was a meaningless shade of green, or possibly magenta. It was Jak's personal mission, as the prophet of darkness, to eliminate these shameful enemies. This would be much easier if they did not obey the traffic laws. Unfortunately for Jak these guards actually drove in the right lane and followed the cars behind them. Jak couldn't be bothered with technicalities such as on coming traffic and stop signs, so he just annihilated everyone in his path. Especially that stupid fat man. Fat was also a creation of the great anti-lord.

Thus he found himself in the midst of battle after the guard pulled him over for reckless driving. It wasn't his fault that the zoomer crashed through the Baron's bedroom window. He had no control of it's trajectory after he jumped off to avoid the palace walls. No matter whose fault it was he was no doubt winning this fight. His long (manicured) talons sliced through sinew and bone as he twirled like a ballerina. It was a fighting move, because twirling was masculine, just like his favorite restaurant, Flamers.

Just as he was about to claim victory, he saw the great beauty of Erol before him. His archenemy/lover/salsa dancing partner on Wednesday. Oh how he wished to trace those radiant tattoos with his tongue, but that would have to wait until later. There is just no time for licking that many tattoos while trying to fight off his captain-falcon-like punches. They fought for what seemed like hours. Strategized fighting techniques lead to careless slap fighting as each man stooped to every level just to win. Eventually they both fell down exhausted, as they wound up after every encounter they had ( no matter what kind) and lay in the street for a short break.

Then, they suddenly realized that all this fighting could stop, if they just made Baron Praxis and the Metal Head Leader listen to the Jonas Brothers. Then they would both leave Haven City, and little Jak could be free to rule the kingdom however he wanted to. They would start on that plan tomorrow as soon as they were done with caressing those tattoos.