It really shouldn't have come as such a shock that he would be late but as I sit in the waiting room waiting for my name to be called for my twenty week scan I could feel my eyes fill with tears. I was never usually this emotional but this pregnancy was taking me on an emotional rollercoaster. Today we where meant to be finding out the sex of our babies, we already knew we where having twins and that their would be identical as there was only one sack. I was finding out either way so I knew how to decorate the nursery, me and Gemma had planned a shopping day for tomorrow. I pulled out my phone to make sure I hadn't missed a call or text but the screen was clear and just as I was about to call him I heard my name called so I slipped it back into bag and walked towards the smiling nurse. After she took my vitals she told me that the doctor would be in shortly. I already had my top pulled up and my maternity jeans pulled down when there was a knock on the door and as much as I wanted it to be him I knew it was the doctor before she appeared as the door opened fully 'Morning Evie, just you today or are we waiting a few minutes for dad' she asked with a smile

'Just me today' I told her trying to force a smile and push the tears back yet again

'ok then, you know the drill, this will be a little cold'

She poured the jelly onto me and started pressing the wand over my bump stopping when she got a close up of one of them. I couldn't stop the tears this time. After a few minutes of checking them both she turned back to look at me 'you ready to find out' she asked. All I could was nod unable to stop looking at the screen.

'well as you know their share one amniotic sac so their will be identical and there are both very healthy boys'

I looked at her then and couldn't help the grin that over took my face. She wiped the jelly off me and helped me sit up as I righted my clothes. 'right I want you to come back in four weeks for another check up and are you still wanting the 3d scan'

'yeah I will make both appointments now'

'good well I will see you and hopefully dad then Evie' she said as she exited the room.

After I make my next appointments and get in my car I can't help but feel angry that he didn't show up to for this, I knew the club was busy lately especially with the new deal with the cartel but he had promised me last night that he would meet me at the hospital. I pulled out of the hospital determined to go to TM and find out how he could forget about this. When I pulled into the lot I saw Tara pulling out and waved but she didn't seem to see me, I parked and saw Jax and Gemma standing by the office talking and smoking. Gemma made her way over to me as I got out 'hey baby, thought you where at the hospital this morning' she asked

'I was, I'm here to see why the fuck Tig forgot to turn up'

'oh shit sweetheart, things have been a little crazy around here this morning'

'there always are Gemma, but he promised he would be there, fuck I don't ask for a lot and all I wanted was for him to be their when I found out' I said as I started crying again.

She put her arm around me and ushered me into her office and waved Chuckie away, once I was sitting in the office she said 'Dawn turned up this morning sweetie, she is in the clubhouse with Tig right now, but trust me that is the least of the shit that has happened so far today'

'Dawn is here, is she ok' I asked. I had never met her as she only tended to show up in Charming when she needed something from Tig but she as his daughter at the end of the day.

'some bull shit story about Fawn, I'm gonna ring Colleen now and talk to her, why don't you dry your eyes and go over there and see them. I know you won't tell me about those two little babies til you have told Tig so I ain't even going to ask' she smirked at me. She really did know me well. I nodded and made my way over to the clubhouse.

When the door to the clubhouse everyone turned to look at me, I could see Bobby and Chuckie standing at the end of the bar and Tig and Dawn sitting at a table in the middle of the bar, I smiled at them both as I started walking towards him, forgetting my anger and just wanting to make sure everything was ok, he gave me a slight shake of his head which made me stop, I started walking again but went to sit on one of the stools at the bar opposite Chuckie after Bobby had given me a hug. I heard Dawn ask 'dad who is that'. I had my back to them but in the mirror behind the bar I could see Tig drag one hand down his face and said 'Dawnie, that's Evie erm she is just a friend of the club baby'.

I felt my back go poker straight after he said that I saw Bobby turn his head quickly to glare at Tig out of the corner of my eye. I slid of my stool and said to Bobby 'I forgot about something I need to do for the shop, could you tell Gemma I will call her later'

'sweetie maybe you should stay for a little bit' he said turning back to look at me and offering me his hand to help. I didn't think that this time I was going to be able to hold my tears back as I shook my head and walked towards the door knowing he was following me out. When I got outside I could see Jax, Clay and Opie walking towards me with Gemma but I didn't stop even when if saw Pinie who was sitting on the railing next to where the bikes where parked swing and take Opie clean off his feet. I got in my car, started the engine and pulled out of the lot desperate to get away.

Gemma

I knew the minute I woke up this morning that it was going to be a shit show of a day, first Dawn turning up with a bullshit story about her sister needing help, then that gash walking out of the back of the club house and then having to lie to Lyla and then the crazy gash pulling a gun on us. I was going to kill that whore if she ever pulled shit like that again especially with my grandbaby there. As Tara pulled out of the lot as I was talking to Jax I saw Evie pull in, I remembered that she had her hospital appointment today and that Tig had obviously forgot. I pulled her into the office and calmed her down, she was right she never asked much of Tig, she really was an amazing old lady for him. She was just as crazy as he was but there seemed to balance each other out. As she walked towards the club house I rang Colleen to find out what was going on and just as I suspected that Dawn was pulling another one of her tricks with Tig. Just as I got up to walk over there I saw Clay, Miles and Opie pulling up and park there bikes. As we where all walking over I saw Evie come out of the club house crying and Bobby following her but before I could ask if she was ok Piney started swinging and decked Opie taking my attention to that but after Pinie walked off towards his bike we all turned and watched as Evie's car tore outta the lot. The others made there way inside as Bobby walked up to me 'what the hell was all that about' I asked him

'she just heard Tig telling Dawn that she was just a friend of the club when she asked who she was'

'Jesus Christ, just what we need today. He is a dick, I just spoke to Colleen and Fawn is fine'

'of course she is' he said 'Dawn is in there spouting about how she needs twelve grand to get her into a rehab place for some bulimia bullshit and of course we all know it's a crock of shit, Tig included'

'that is gonna be the least of his worries though, she looked devasted and I can tell you now that it ain't gonna help that he forgot about her hospital appointment either. I hope she rips his dick off and chokes him with it' I said and smirked when Booby winced but nodded his head in agreement.

Tig

I knew the minute that the words came outta my mouth that I had fucked up with Evie, even though she had never met my girls she knew what their looked like. I only shook my head cause I knew that Dawn would turn off the water works and be a bitch if she met Evie now. I knew the story about Dawn was complete shit but I also knew I would give her the money anyway, at the end of the day she was my daughter and she wouldn't have come here unless she was desperate. I told Dawn that it would take me a little while to get the cash together after I saw Evie walk out with Bobby following her after he gave me a glare but after what had already happened at the warehouse this morning then Dawn turning up and that whore pulling a gun I couldn't handle anymore right now.

A little while later I was sitting on the swings with Dawn looking at photos on her phone when Chuckie came out of the clubhouse shouting he had made lemonade, as we made our way over to him Bobby and Gemma stopped me and as Dawn was getting a drink there explained that Gemma had rang Colleen and that Fawn was fine and she was in Chicago with her boyfriend. I knew she was playing me but when Gemma suggested that I ask her I could only say maybe as I made my way over to Dawn and Chuckie.

Once it was dark and I had given the money to Dawn and called her a cab, standing watching it pull out Gemma and Bobby approached me again 'you gave her the money' Bobby said

'oh yeah'

'she'll just be back for more' Gemma said

'yeah, I know' I said walking away til Gemma pulled me back to look at them both 'what are you gonna say to Evie Tig' she said

'I have no clue Gem' I said as Bobby just shook his head and walked away from us.

'you do realise that she went to that appointment today right'

'oh shit, I completely forgot with everything that happened today. She is gonna kill me'

'she was pissed when she pulled up earlier but forgot about it when I told her Dawn was here, she was worried but I think that hearing what you said to Dawn did the most damage Tiggy'

'I know but you know what Dawn is like, she would have been a complete bitch to her, I was trying to spare her that'

'I know sweetheart but I think you may have done more harm than good even with your good intentions. I tried calling her earlier and it went straight to voicemail, also rang the shop but Bella said she only came in briefly'

'shit, I have to go home and explain, can you let Clay know what's going on please' I asked as I walked straight over to my bike and pulling out after I strapped my helmet on. I made my way home within minutes to find the house in darkness, I didn't even bother to take the keys out of the ignition or take my helmet off as I opened the front door calling Evie's name, I made my way upstairs calling her name and turning on lights as I went but by the time I got to our bedroom I knew she wasn't in the house. Our room looked like a hurricane had gone through it, clothes all over and the closet doors wide open. She had gone. I sank down onto the end of the bed and put my head in my hands, I knew she would be upset about disregarding her in front of Dawn but I never thought she would leave, sure I was a dick but she usually just screamed and threw shit at me. I pulled out my cell to call her but after the third time of getting her voicemail I knew she had turned it off if not dumping it all together. I made my way back downstairs and when I walked into the kitchen I saw her cell sitting on the counter next to a piece of paper.

Tig

not that you even deserve a note after today but I am going away for a while to think things through. I will contact Gemma in a few days when I decide where I am going. After everything I am asking you not to look for me, please just give me this. I hope everything is ok with Dawn.

E

I slumped down on the floor still holding the note, I wasn't even sure how long I sat their when my phone ringing brought me out of my thoughts. 'yeah' I answered not even looking at who was calling

'baby' Gemma said 'did you get hold of Evie'

'she's gone Gem, she left a note saying she needed to think things through and that she wold call you in a few days'

'aww shit Tig, I can't really blame her after the shitty move you pulled today'

'yeah I know Gem, I just want to make it right'

'well your gonna have to wait til she comes back baby, we both know where she went though but please don't call him, you will only make it worse. She needs time and he has always been her sounding board for shit'

'I know but he's an asshole Gem'

'to her sweetheart he is simply her big brother, want me to call him and give him a heads up, I wouldn't suggest you calling him'

'yeah please Gem, I'm gonna stay here tonight can you give Clay a heads up'

'already have baby, he says your a dick, I will see you in the morning'.

Gemma was right I knew where she was going, she was going to Tacoma to see her asshole brother Kozik, I knew she needed him right now and she also needed to be away from me. I can't believe that I forgot about her appointment, she had made me promise last night not to forget as we where going to find out what we where having but the shit this morning with the missing brick of blow had pushed it from my mind but that wasn't the reason she left, I knew the reason she left was the way I acted in front of Dawn. She had stood by me through all the shit in the last few years even loosing contact with the asshole for awhile because of us being together. I really didn't deserve her but Christ I loved her more than I was ever able to show her. I was determined that I was going to make things right with her.

Evie

After screaming outta the TM lot and going straight home I knew I needed to get away from here for awhile, I needed my big brother to hug me and tell me everything was going to be alright. I made my way straight to our bedroom and ripped the closet doors open and quickly packed some clothes before going into the bathroom to grab my shower stuff. I left him a note even through the prick didn't deserve one, only doing it so Gemma wouldn't worry but I left my phone next to it and made my way back to my car. The normal thirteen hour drive took me a little under two days cause I knew that I had to stop and sleep for my babies sake if nothing else. I don't bother going to the club house when I hit Tacoma but went straight to Herm's house and letting myself in. After a quick shower I crawled into his bed and cried myself to sleep. I opened my eyes when I felt the bed dip to realise that is was dark outside as my brother pulled me into his arms as I started crying again 'ssshhh E, I got you, don't cry'

After a while I calmed down but we didn't speak til my stomach started growling which made us both laugh.

'looks like its time to feed the monsters' he said pulling us both up til we where sitting up 'what do the three of you want to eat'

'your nephews want pizza and hot wings'

'wow nephews, does he know'

I just shook my head as I got off the bed and walked into the bathroom, I heard him leave the room and knew he was going to order our food so I decided on another quick shower. I made my way into the kitchen to find him sitting at his small table with a beer in front of him and a bottle of ice tea opposite for me 'Gemma called last night and told me what happened, wanna talk about it. I mean it has to be bad for you to come here Evie'

'he denied who I was to him Herm, how the fuck am I meant to react to that. I mean I know he doesn't have the best relationship with his girls but he denied his sons too and that's after the asshole forgot to come to the hospital appointment to find out' I said rubbing my bump as I felt the anger returning tenfold

'I know what he did was a really shitty move and as much as I hate to say this, he really does love you but I will always be on your side brother or not'

'I know Herm but he has a really fucking bad time showing it lately, I mean I don't fucking expect a lot from him. I never question him about club shit, I have supported him through everything these last five years and he just disregarded not only me but the babies as well. I really can't be around him right now. That's why I came here. I just need sometime to think about what I want cause honestly right now I am not sure'

'I get that, you can stay here for as long as you like, you know that but your gonna have to talk to him eventually'

'I know, tomorrow I am gonna call Gemma but I left my phone at home so I will go out and buy a new prepay, plus I will need to call Bella, she is running the shop whilst I'm here for me. Just then the doorbell rang signally our food was here, we spent the next few hours eating and watching a movie before I said I was going to bed but this time went into the guest room after hugging him and telling him goodnight.

I woke up the next day later than I had in years and when I went into the kitchen I saw a phone, a bag of doughnuts and a note from my brother

E

Had to go into the garage today but I picked you u a phone and some breakfast, there is more ice tea in the fridge but nothing much else. Call me if you are going to the store.

H

God I loved my brother I thought as I went to the fridge to grab an ice tea then he doughnuts and phone and sat at the table to call Gemma first knowing the number from memory

'hello' she answered

'hey Gem, it's me'

'hey baby, you ok'

'not really sure Gem to be honest, I just needed some time away from him to think everything through'

'yeah I know, I called him after you left, he gets that he fucked up and why you had to get away. Plus there is more shit going on here so it's good your safe'

'I really don't want to know, I will be here for at least a few days'

That's good sweetheart, but after a few days maybe call him and let him know your ok' she said but it sounded more like a typical Gemma demand

'I will think about it and thanks for not giving me an old lady speech about taking off'

'this time Evie I honestly believe you did the right thing, maybe this will be the thing that he needs to see just how lucky he is to have you'

'that is not why if did this Gemma, I needed this for me and my babies, for once I am not putting Tig first. He needs to realise that the moment I got pregnant that he comes after these boys'

'oh shit boys' she asked

'shit Gem, you can't tell anyone Tig doesn't know'

'like you haven't told your brother' she laughed 'but don't worry your secret is safe with me. Hey think of it this way, if the asshole had bothered to turn up at the appointment he would have known first so don't feel too guilty about letting it slip' she said making me laugh cause she was right

'thanks Gem, I needed that and your right. I have to go and call Bella she is looking after the shop while I'm away. I love you'

'bye sweetheart, I love you too'

After speaking to Bella briefly about the flower shop I owned and Herm telling him that I was going to the store cause his fridge was a disgrace I went and got dressed.

I spent the next eight days with my brother in Tacoma and knew it was time to go home and talk with Tig about everything, I was honestly still no closer to knowing what I wanted to happen but I did know that I had missed the asshole like crazy. I hadn't done what Gemma had pretty much demanded and spoke to him but I was certain Herman had but he never mentioned it either. He told me last night when I said I was going home that he would ride down with me and that Happy was meeting us at the Californian boarder but promised that Tig didn't know and that Happy was sworn to secrecy too. I had spoke to Gemma again a few days ago but hadn't told her I was coming home either. I wanted to go into my house first and not the garage and when Tig came home we could have an private conversation about everything. We where both up at five the next morning and because I was well rested we decided to travel as far as I could manage before deciding if we needed to stop for the night. We made it to the boarder in just over twelve hours with some stops in between and we met Happy in a diner that their used when travelling back and forth. I hadn't even turned the ignition off before Happy was pulling my car door open and hugging my as best he could with me sit being seat belted in whispering 'next time give me your new number you bitch' in my ear making me laugh as I hugged him back. God I had missed him nearly as much as Tig. He was best friend in Charming much to everyone else's wonder. It was a little after six in the evening when we had eaten and I decided that I wanted to push on and get back home as quickly as possible, so after another three hours of driving I pulled into my drive thanking God that Tig's bike wasn't there yet. I wanted a bath and to get into some comfy before talking to him. Happy and my brother pulled in behind me as I got out of the car, I told them both to go to the clubhouse for a beer and pussy causing them to both laugh and after hugs there nodded and drove off towards TM.

I had been laying in the bath about thirty minutes when I heard his bike pull up then the front door slam open and closed. I slowly got out of the bath, got dried and put on the panties and one of his SAMCRO t shirts I had brought into the bathroom with me knowing he would be here before I was finished. I opened the door to see him sitting on the bed with his head in his hands but his head snapped up when he realised I was standing in the doorway. He moved to get up but I simply shook my head as I made my way over to the chair in the corner knowing that I couldn't be near him when we talked no matter how much I had missed him. I was too busy looking at him to speak but I could tell from the bruise that was starting to form on his jaw that my brother had said his piece before Tig came home 'baby I am so sorry for what happened' he said looking at me

'which part Tig, the part where you forgot about the appointment or the part where you refused to acknowledge me and our sons in front of your daughter'

'all of it Ev, wait sons we are having sons' he said getting up but I held up my hand as he moved towards

'sit down Alex' I said sharply 'I don't want you to touch me right now. Yes it's boys but I want you to stay over there when we talk. I still don't honestly know how I feel still but I knew it was time to come home but I am still not only pissed but hurt too, how could you do that to us' I knew I was shouting by the end of it but I couldn't help it I was still so angry about it.

'shit baby, I know you are and I am still so pissed at myself, I didn't do it too hurt you I did it cause I knew Dawn would be a bitch to you and say shit, I was tying to protect you and them. I will honestly say that I forgot about the appointment at the hospital, there was shit that went down that day at the warehouse and I know it isn't a good enough reason but I simply forgot about it'

'protect me' I shouted getting up and pacing the length of our bedroom my voice rising again 'protect me, do you remember all the shit I took from the whores at the clubhouse when we first got together. How many times I had people calling me a slut and that I was using you for your money even though I owned my own business. I handled it all so please don't use the reason you fucking dismissed us as you being protective. You did it because you didn't want to explain to your daughter that you where having another fucking family you douchebag' I screamed at him

'you don' know shit Evie' he screamed as he stood up too moving closer to me but not touching me, I had to tilt my head back as he got closer so I could look him in the eye cause he was so much taller than my five foot three 'I have never dismissed you, I didn't tell her who you where cause she was asking me for twelve fucking grand using Fawn as the reason for the money. I knew she was playing me but I gave it to her anyway but I knew that if I introduced you too her she would go off on one with you and I didn't want you too have to argue with my kid. I know you and I know you would have stood there and took all the shit she said to you because of who she is too me. I know you can handle yourself against other people but it was different with her cause I knew you would fucking back down thinking that I would chose her over you for Christ sake which by the way would never happen. You still don't get it do you, your the love of my fucking life. I willingly let my best friend walk away because you where more important. You and those kids are the most important thing to me. I am sorry I went about it in the wrong way but I love you' he said as he dropped to his knees in front of me and wrapped his arms around my bump and started to cry.

I knew he was telling the truth, he told me years ago that as close as he was to everyone in the club I was the only person he could ever show this side of himself too. I knew that I got to see all of him not just the version of Tig he gave over at the club I got it all, I got Alex Trager which included the Tig part he showed his brothers. I had no idea how long we both stayed like that but when one of them kicked he must have felt it cause he looked up at me with a massive smile on his face before standing up and going to put his hands on my face but stopped short 'Evie please' he whispered looking down at me, I simply nodded before he bent and kissed me as he held my face. He didn't try and deepen it knowing that I wasn't ready for just that. He released me and told me he was going to shower and I moved towards the bed and got under the covers.

He came back out with just a towel around his waist but went to his dresser and pulled on boxers before coming and getting into bed and rolled so we where both facing each other.

'god baby I missed you' he said taking my hand that was next to his pillow whilst the other moved down to my bumped and he rubbed small circles

'tell me what happened that made you miss the appointment'

'so much shit has gone down this last week baby, a brick of the blow went missing, whilst we where trying to find out what happened Chuckie called to tell me that Dawnie had turned up at TM. When I got their that crazy gash Ima was there, she fucked Opie then pulled a gun on us. Lyla found out and Tara was there with Thomas. So much shit baby'

'Jesus Tig'

'there is more but I am not sure how much you want to know'

'you normally tell me as much as you can but I get that there is some shit you can't say'''

'I want to tell you everything but I am frightened you will be scared baby'

'I am not scared Tig you always promised to do everything you can to protect me' I whispered stroking over his face and he kissed my palm

'Juice caught Miles with the blow and killed him, someone left a death threat in Tara's car and the club house got shot up by a rival cartel and there left a bag of severed heads, one of them Armando president of SAMTAZ. Bobby called for a change of leadership but before the vote could happen was when the shoot up started'

'ok now maybe I am a little scared, how is Tara and Jax' I asked

'Jax is angry and Tara is scared but we don't think it's the cartel behind the note'

'I was only gone eight days and it all goes to hell in a fucking hand cart. Sorry I left you alone in the middle of all that'

'don't apologise Evie, seriously I was a dick and I deserved to think I had lost not only you but my boys too. I am so sorry baby. I called Dawn the day after she left and told her exactly who you where to me and after she screamed at me she hung up. I haven't bothered to call Fawn knowing she won't answer my calls' he said as he slowly moved his face towards me and kissed me gently not pressing any deeper. As angry as I was with him I believed why he did it and pulled away to whisper that I forgave him before kissing him again but this time pushing him onto his back and moving to straddle him. His hands went straight the shirt I was wearing and grabbed my hips stilling my movements. 'baby are you sure, you didn't want me to touch you a few minutes ago'

I smiled down at him, this was the Alex that again I was the only one that got to see, the sweet caring side that he never showed anyone but me 'Alex' I whispered bring my face down so it was next to his ear 'you explained it to me and I believe and forgive you but I can stop if you want and go to sleep' I finished with a bite on his earlobe. He didn't speak simply pulled my shirt over my head and pulled my right nipple into his mouth making me moan, I felt his hands on my ass as he released my nipple and started to pull my hips up his chest til I was straddling his shoulders. He ripped my lace panties of before sucking my clit into his mouth. I grabbed the headboard to stop myself from falling and ground my face down as he tightened his grip on my hips and started thrusting his tongue in and out of me before moving back to my clit and flicked it continuously til I came into his open mouth. Once I was able to move I scooted back so I was once again straddling his hips and bent down to thrust my tongue into his mouth loving that I could taste him as well as myself on his tongue. I felt his release one hip and reach around to grab himself and line up his cock with my entrance and slowly start to thrust up into me but he never stopped kissing me til I slammed myself all the down on him causing us both to moan. I sat up and put my hands on his chest and started moving faster feeling my walls already start to tighten again with another orgasm. After I came down from my second release he held my hips still and told me to get on all fours and he moved quickly behind me and slammed himself into me as he grabbed my hair to pull me up til my back was against his chest and his other hand came around me and he gently started rubbing me knowing that I was close again. He groaned into my ear as he came at the same time as me before sucking on my neck.

He pulled out slowly and moved us so I was lying on my side with my back still against his chest and buried his face in my neck 'I love you Alex Trager' I whispered as I drifted off to sleep