(Chapter 1)

Amazing ain't it?

As the party headed for London, they decided to rest once more. "How far is England anyway?" said Wild said. "Too far!" replied Helldragon. After that, they continued on their journey. But then they stumbled upon a cave. "Let's go in it!" said James. Everyone agreed, because they were all feeling stupid that day. Especially Goofy. As they went through the cave, they noticed a hole. "However between you and the evil undead is a deep pit, where at the very bottom you can see a faint glitter." said J.D. FTA jumps into the pit to gather the treasure, how much does FTA get? "...It's a trap!" said J.D. "No..." replied KevROB. "The pit is filled with gem encrusted spikes. FTA the Sonic nerd is impaled, and dies." J.D. finished. Tom took off his top hat. There was a long silence.

"Hey! I'm not dead you retards!" FTA said while giving the party the finger. "Now who's the asshole that lines a pit with gem encrusted spikes? Now come down here, pull my body off, and while you're at it pry some gems off!" And so the party got all the money they needed and would never have to grind again. Just what the hell is this place?" said Tom. Just then, a shady figure appeared out of nowhere. "This is the Cave of Freedom!" "And just who the hell're you?" said Spiffy. "I am Ninja_Jesus!" he said. "To get out of this cave, you'll need the help of the bird of freedom!" He grabbed an orcarina out of thin air, and played the theme song of "Team America: World Police." "AMERICA! FUCK YEAH!"

Just then, the bird of freedom rose down from the heavens. "IT'S JUST A FUCKING EAGLE!" said Tom. But then a portal of DARKNESS appeared and began sucking up our heroes. And soon everyone was sucked into the portal, except the bird of freedom. Why? Because he's "BORN FREEEE!"

And so the party fell down a pit. But as they fell, a certain boss jumped onto Helldragon's back. "ICARUS!" shouted Helldragon. And then Helldragon ripped off his wings. As the party landed on solid ground, they saw images of video game characters looking down on them. There was Sonic, Luigi, Neku, even Sora! "No way..." said KevROB. "This is..." replied Wild. Just then a gigantic shadowy figure colored green appeared and looked down at the party. He wore a leather jacket with "The Lost" on the back. "...DeX!" shouted Tom. DeX and Tom were the ones that created the site. But ever since Tom disappeared, DeX took control. "DeX! Over here!" Tom shouted while waving his hands back and forth. However DeX paid no attention to Tom, or any of the party for that matter. He turned his attention to Ninja_Jesus. "Accounts with 0 posts...must be deleted." Ninja_Jesus tried to run, but DeX's almighty hand grabbed him with ease. "NO PLEASE! SPARE ME!" Ninja_Jesus begged. Using his Admin powers, DeX crushed Ninja_Jesus in his hands. "...Ninja_Jesus...DEACTIVATED." DeX then signed out.

"...Damn!" said TDF. "I can't believe we're actually here!" said Spiffy. "But the true question, is how do we escape?" said Helldragon. Tom put his hand on his chin. He then twirled his glorious mustache. Then a light bulb appeared over his head. "Of course!" He said while pointing his finger downwards. "We can escape through there!" His finger was as dynamic as both Nick's and Professor Layton's. "Through Fan Media?" said KevROB. "Indeed," replied Tom. "However we'll have to go through the other sections first before we can reach it." "Alright then!" said FTA. "HERE WE GO!" And then the party made a tower so that they could reach a button that spelt out "Board Index." Then they were sucked into "General/Random Discussion."

And so began the first level of hell. "Well this doesn't look all that bad!" said James. But suddenly, they were attacked by... The Emo Rangers! "And so it begins!" said J.D. as his hair turned white. Then he pulled out his Onyx blade. But then they were defeated in one hit. "...Well that was disappointing." Fearless said. "By the way, ! Go visit it now best place on the net for Sonic stuff!" Tom said giving out a shoutout. "You whore." replied Ron. But then Yogi Bear and the Smurfs rose up from the ground as zombified live action versions of themselves!

Yogi tried attacking AxelRyman, but missed and got his Eggo's instead. "LEGGO MAH EGGO, BITCH!" Axel said as he sliced Yogi in half with his Master Sword. "Wait," said Riku, "Where'd FTA go?" Suddenly FTA appeared in a flying car with Eggman as the driver. "What's up bitches?" he said. "I just got back from my trip to Japan!" "But you lost that Gareth." said Tom while he was stamping on Smurfs. "...Shut your whore mouth." "Hey you guys, did you know custard powder is just corn flour with flavouring, coloured yellow?" Ron said while listening to Tiny Tim. "And did you know that in the 1993 cut of The Rescuers, an image of a topless woman is visible on two non-consecutive frames of the film?" "Why the hell are you telling us this random trivia?" said Riku.

"Well did you know Disney wanted Donald Duck to be the main character/hero in Kingdom Hearts?" Ron replied. "I never knew that! And know I know!" "And knowing is half the battle!" "G. I. JOE!" "Will you two stop acting out of character and start killing shit?" Tom said as he crushed Smurfette. "Hey wait a minute, where's Helldragon and KevROB?" Tom then saw the two of them idolizing a life sized statue of Kratos. "You know you've watched too much HellfireComms when you develop a man crush on Kratos." said Wild. "OHH HELL NAAAAWWW!" said Tom. And then random quotes began popping up everywhere. "I've covered wars ya know!" "When I want your opinion I'll remove the duct tape." "Hehe, we all want that sandwich." "Kittens and marmalade!" "Even without wings, I can still fly!" "Oh shut up Sonic!" Tom said getting extremely pissed.

Just then Metal War Greymon, Salamence, a live action Pikachu, Guile Hideout, and the Old Spice Man appeared. KevROB sighed "Great, now this is "Tokyo Psychic Detective Ninja High School Dance Party!" The Old Spice Man used his magic powers, and thus a thousand fanfictions were born! IRTundraBoy confronted the Old Spice Man, and knocked him onto the floor. Then TundraBoy summoned and used his Solid Snake on him. "No! No! DO NOT WANT!" said Helldragon. Then everyone took a break. "I'm gonna drink Coke Zero." said Tom. "Ah, Coke Zero sucks." replied FTA. "OH GOD WE'RE TALKING ABOUT BEVERAGES IN AN INNUENDO THREAD!"

So then the party decided to take a trip into the "Beverage Discussion Thread." But as they clicked it, they were thrown into a war between Coke and Pepsi. But they ignored the war, and decied to drink tea/other sodas instead. "I'll go get some Vitamin Water." said Helldragon. But as he entered the kitchen, Parasite Cage took out the fridge. "DAMN YOU PARASITE CAGE! DAMN YOU!" shouted Helldragon. After the party quaffed their drinks, they pressed the "Back Button" and continued fighting.

Then they were attacked by tons of Disgaea videos and Nicktoon goodness. Along with them, was Arceus. He was going to donate his sperm so Bulbasaur and Squirtle could have their baby. Either way, it would be theirs, and beyond that did it matter if it was a Dunsparce? And so it was time to make the baby. Arceus then used its ultimate ritual... by using Google Images! And thus, Bulbasaur and Squirtle's baby was made! Gentlemen and really girlie men, that was the ultimate mindfuck. "What was that scene supposed to mean anyway?" said FTA. "It meant an egg had just been made." said KevROB. "Yes, what you just saw apparently always happens when a new egg is made. Just imagine what all of those Dittos had to go through." "That scene just happens for one fuckin' egg?" said FTA. "It was a fuckin' egg made by GOD!" said Ron.

Suddenly MrMetalloidMan posted Pokemon pics in the "Funny Pictures" thread. "Let's go check them out!" said James.

5 Minutes Later...

"...I wish I could unsee what I just saw..." James said. "Granted but now you have to fight me!" said a red falcon with the number 122 on its ass. "You!" said KevROB. "Oui! C'est moi! Le Faucon Rouge! Boy maquillage!" It said in it's native language. "I didn't understand a word you just said." said Helldragon. "Try speaking American, it's the only language I know!" "Beaux-là, connard!" the falcon said as it gave Helldragon the bird. "Let me try this again." The falcon cleared it's throat. "Yes That's me! The Red Falcon! Makeup Boy! But I am more commonly known as..."

FRENCHIE FRANCE!

"That's such an original name!" said James rolling his eyes. And then "What I'm made of" began playing in the background. But midway through the song, Silly bands appeared and began turning people into hippies. "No! They got Tom!" yelled KevROB. The Hippie bands began swarming over him. One by one they climbed onto Tom, eating away at him, until there was nothing left. "Rest in Peace Toonami." began Kev. "You'll never be forgotten." Then the live action movie version of Aang (Or "Ung") appeared. "Get out of here!" said Tom, "You're not welcome here!" "We don't take kindly to your types around here!" said FTA. "These are the types we like!" replied Tom. And then that line was put on TVTropes, just like the others.

"Hey, where'd Al go?" said Axel. Suddenly Demyx and his water clones came back! "YOU!" shouted Helldragon. But before the two of them could fight, BigAl came in wearing no shirt. He then proceeded to put Demyx in a headlock, so he could smell the wonderous smells of Al's pits. "Wait a minute!" said BigAl. "You're not ChibiNekoDemyx!" he then released him, and Demyx then died a few seconds the live action versions of Cosmo and Wanda appeared. "Oh come on!" said Spiffy. "IS NOTHING SACRED ANYMORE?" replied Riku. Everyone else facepalmed. Because of their appearance, Wingerdinger was infected! Then the "Cars" fans appeared to defend their favorite Disney movie. And then their leader, shadanew1 appeared. "Wii shall rise up! Wii will unite! Wii shall stand together! And I will wipe this windshield! Cars, will prevail!" But he was defeated easily. "Are you scared?" We're all scared." Tom said quoting "Small Soldiers." Then Tom bitch slapped him. He's gotta keep that pimp hand strong, you know? "For trying to kill me, you'll have to repay me with your body!" "Wow, never knew Tom rolled that way." said J.D. "Haha, I knew!" said FTA. "He always said I was the fastest thing alive afterall." "Ooh, I like where this conversation's going." Fearless said intrigued. "NOT LIKE THAT YOU BUNCH OF TWATS!" Tom said pissed the fuck off.

But before Tom could finish, a basketball dropped out of the sky, killing shadanew with ease. "It can't be!" said Tom. But it was. COACH BOLTON! Coach Bolton then punched Guile Hideout with his basketball, completely destroying Guile's face. The party was stunned. "Could that have been..." began TDF. "That was the Bolton punch!" said J.D. replied. "That was, the Bolton punch!" said TDF. "I've heard rumors about it, I never thought it was true!" "He's only used it twice in his life." began KevROB. "The first time was on Bruce Lee. The second? Chuck Norris! Both times were successful." "Coach Bolton breathes in oxygen and breathes out fear." replied Helldragon. "Coach Bolton once died and went to hell. Once there, he killed Satan, and then he dug a hole with a basketball so deep that he popped out on the other end of the universe." said James. "...You all do realize that complimenting him just makes him stronger, right?" Tom said backing away quickly from the beast. Then Coach Bolton cut the live action Pikachu's ass cheeks off, and turned them into a basketball. He then threw it at Aang, Cosmo, Wanda, Salamence, Metal War Greymon, the Old Spice Man, and even GOD.

"Can no one stop him?" said Riku. And then help came. "You should all escape while you still can!" It was Cammie Dunaway! And so the party escaped into the next section as Coach Bolton took Cammie's head off with a basketball. "Goodbye Cammie Dunaway." said KevROB, "We'll never forget you or Nintendo's E3 on 2008. Even though we try too." And as the party clicked the "Back Button," they ventured into the second level of hell. It was "Computer Discussion."

Computer Discussion

Discussion for computer help, computer news, recording equipment etc.

As they ventured into this next section, they noticed they were being recorded by nerds on the internet. "WHO'S THERE?" said Spiffy. Then Tom flipped the convenient light switch next to him, and it revealed their identities. They were toemock and Black Ace Chaos, and they were DAZZLING! "I'm gonna record you and then commentate over it!" said Black Ace Chaos. "...Is that all?" J.D. said. "Yes!" responded Black Ace Chaos. "That way I'll get Ad Revenue and make money! ...But first I need to know how." Everyone facepalmed. "You could get a Dazzle, you know?" said Tom. "thanks but it might be a while before i get a dazzle. my parents thinks it's stupid and they don't even know videos are on my channel. also i'm short of money and my parents think i'll get kidnapped if i'm on youtube. stupid i know." "...Your parents are deeply paranoid." said Helldragon.

But then "The Youtube Kidnappers" appeared for no pizza and cornered Black Ace Chaos. "Hey, check this PUNK out!" said the first kidnapper while smoking a cigarette. "He's reviewing a hentai game and commenting on the gameplay! He barely looks old enough to do ANYTHING cool, he's like, 18." "Feh, PUNK!" responded the second kidnapper. "Use the isometric triangulator and cross-reference anyone who's bought a capture card and uploaded videos to youtube in the last 50 hours! PUNK. And also, grab me a spliff. PUNK." And then Black Ace Chaos was gone.

Tom ran up to toemock and put him in a headlock. Then he bitched slapped toemock until blood was all over his person. "Hopefully they forgot all about me!" said toemock while backing away slowly. But suddenly Black Ace Chaos came back, and split into two. "Go get him Tom, smack that bitch up!" said Spiffy. He became Black Chaos and Cold Chaos! "He's back!" shouted KevROB. Then the party noticed they were having "Audio Lag." "TAKE THIS!" said Black Ace. "DOUBLE TEAM!" FTA then spun the Earth backwards like in Super Man to resync the audio. "Wait, what the hell?" said J.D. "Are we lagging?" "SON OF A BITCH!" said Tom. "Time to blast through with Sonic Speed!" said FTA. "So did it work?" said KevROB. Then the party huzzahed.

But that was cut short when they were attacked by viruses. "Look out!" shouted RedGamerFox. He jumped in front of Wild, and was eaten shortly after.

I...

f**king...

hate...

VISTA!

Those were his dying words. Then Tom used magic. 'MalwareBytes!" He shouted. Then all the viruses died a painful death. Now it was time to go Labtop hunting! But before they could post it, TheBlueBlur713 made a new topic titled "Computer/Freeware Games." "Gee, we'd better go solve this mystery!" said Helldragon. "It'll definitely be a great thread." said James in his sarcastic tone once more. They clicked on it, but they then saw it was just...

To whom it may concern,

It would honor me to be a member of the Hellfirecomms team. All I want is a chance to prove that I make FTA and the Helldragon make the Silver Sufer a comidian by compareson. I am a useless encyclopidia of information pertaining to the Star Wars, Sonic the Hegdehog, and Marvel Fanchies. I am not looking to replace FTA (Love to be a third person on the sonic comms though). I would just be estatic if NTom64 made a playthough of a Star Wars or Superhero video game (Marvel Ultimate Allience 2, Star Wars: Reavenge of the Sith the game, Star Wars: Knights of the old Republic, Ect.).

From the computer room of,

TheBlueBlur713

"WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?" shouted Helldragon. "ALL SPAM MUST BE ELIMINATED!" And then Helldragon and TheBlueBlur fought to the death. Helldragon, the absolute godmod that he was, won in about 6 seconds. "HAHA! My trophy!" Helldragon gloated holding up TheBlueBlur's head. But then they were teleported back into "General/Random Discussion" for no cheese.

And as they were transported back, that french dood Lui Kang kicked Helldragon into a theatre. While he was there he decided to go see the new Seltzer and Friedberg movie "Vampires Suck." Helldragon was now scarred for life. "It's a funny world we live in." said FTA. "Speaking of which, do you know how I got these scars?" "Goddammit Gareth!" said Tom taking a sip of Coke Zero. "KILL THE BATMAN!"

Then there was another portal of DARKNESS. Your rival "MrMetalloidMan" would like to battle! MeMetalloidMan sent out Magikarp! "Karp, karp! (When I evolve, you bastards are gonna get it!)" "GO NTOM64!" said FTA. "Let's get it on! Aw, yeah!" Tom cried. What will NTom64 do?

NTom64 used Block! (I'm so clever aren't I?)

Magikarp can no longer escape!

Magikarp used Splash!

But nothing happened!

What will NTom64 do?

NTom64 used Helping Hand! Tom then gave Helldragon some help on his DBZ Advanced playthrough.

Magikarp used Splash!

But nothing happened!

Orthopox13, one of the members of the audience, decided to step in. "You did put that last one move already...*Old man voice* You lazy youngans and your ways of not checking a thing on a form witch would only take 5 seconds and A BAT CREDIT CARD?" He then left the stadium that this battle oh so conveniently took place in.

What will NTom64 do?

NTom64 used Body Slam!

Magikarp was paralyzed!

Magikarp is paralyzed! It can't move!

"Karp, karp! (That's it! I've had enough of this bullshit!)"

What will NTom64 do?

NTom64 used Body Slam!

Magikarp used Hyper Beam!

Tom gasped.

Magikarp used Fire Blast!

Tom gasped a second time.

Magikarp used Frenzy Plant!

"Fuuuuuck you!"

NTom64 overgasped!

Choose next Pokemon?

Go Charizard!

"BAAATTTSSS!"

Then FTA used a Max Revive on NTom64. But now Magikarp was glowing! And now the useless Magikarp was now a Gyarados!

"YOU GONNA GET RAPED NTOM64! AND YOU TOO HELLDRAGON!"

But before the battle could be finished, Scartillery got online. He clicked on "General/Random Discussion," and saw a new thread titled "TEH GRTST POKEY MAN BATL EVAR!1!1!" Scartillery facepalmed. He clicked on the thread, read a couple of posts, and rubbed his forehead to ward off the pain. He then proceeded to create his reply.

Are you kidding me?

Seriously, what is the point of this thread?

It's just a thread for spamming, and besides that, why is this here and not "Gaming Discussion?" You all disappoint me. Next time think before you make a thread like this.

After Gyarados died from Aids, Tom noticed Scartillery. "SCARTILLERY!" Tom shouted, "Down here!" Unfortunately Scartillery didn't notice him at all. "Now to move it to the "Trash Can." Suddenly, the entire thread was lifted up from the ground, and started moving south. The party passed over "Computer Discussion" once more, and then they passed over "Fan Media." "SON OF A BITCH!" said J.D. "Aw fuckin' hell!" said Tom dropping his teacup full of Coke Zero. They then passed over "Gaming Discussion." "I think I know where we're heading." said James. "No shit, Sherlock!" replied FTA. They then passed over a boat with a hole in it, a can of Cherry Coke, a brave little toaster, and even "The World that Never Was."

"Hey Tom," began James, "Why does DeX hate 0-posters?" Tom took a sip. "Well why the fuck would you register if you're not going to post?" said Tom. "I mean if you could view the forums as a guest there's no need to make an account then just leave. It's unnecessary work. God leechers..." "True, true. You're so smart Tom." After that short conversation, they passed "Site Development." Now they were at their destination.

The Trash Can

This is where locked, dead and/or shitty topics go. They're not always one and the same, so don't spaz out if yours ends up in here.

Scartillery clicked on "Trash Can," and put the thread in it, never to be seen again. Suddenly a Giant X began forming over the thread. "JUMP!" shouted Al. And then everyone jumped. "LEAP OF FAITH!" yelled KevROB. "TEEERRRIIIAAA!" said FTA. And they all landed safely, despite the fact they just jumped from 8000 ft. in the air. Tom then walked over to MrMetalloidMan. "Hey, since we're stuck here, do you wanna join us?" MrMetalloid then kicked him in the nuts. "OH FUCK NO!" he said "I FUCKIN' HATE RPGS!" KevROB then noticed him. "Oh hi MetalMan!" he said. "OH GOD NO! hi." replied MrMetalloidMan. KevROB then proceeded to quote every single "Oh hi" moment from The Room. "Welcome Johnny, hope you enjoy your stay." MrMetalloid went insane. "YOU'RE TEARING ME APART, KEV!" he then proceeded to pull a gun out of his pocket. "Oh hi gunbarrel!" "NOOOOOO!" MrMetalloidMan then shot himself.

"So this is the Trash Can." said Spiffy. "...Well I'm bored!" said Wild. But they were suddenly attacked by the undead! "It's "the zombie apocolypse!" said James. They tried fighting them off, but they were then saved by furries! James then saw a computer. He then went to TVTropes and began looking at trivia and shit.

30 minutes later...

"Great!" said James, "My Life is Ruined!" Suddenly Justin Beiber appeared dressed like Marty Mcfly! "OH HELL NO!" said Spiffy casting Thundaga on him. "Hey look!" said J.D. It's a "NEW Ace "attroney" investigations" brought to us by Capcom!" Tom then saw "Hellfirecomms Demotivation Posters." He and the rest of the group decided to take a look at them. One had both Parasite Cage and a fridge. Helldragon looked at it with rage. There was also one with HellfireComms' motto. "HellfireComms, It'll happen eventually!" Tom was unimpressed. Then he shook his head. "I'm going to have to be honest here, around 99% of these are just quoting things that HellfireComms has said...and that's it. Try harder next time."

Then J.D. saw a review from IGN. "Guys look!" he said, "A game review IGN actually did right?" Tom stared at J.D. with disgust, and then pimp smacked the back of his head. "I'm disappointed in you, blade." said Tom. Then they saw DoctorX41794 doing his Doctor thing. "Excuse me," he said as he approached the party. "Who is the worst ( Insert thing here)?" he said. "The fuck you talking bout' honkey?" Tom said. Then Ron shot him IN THE FACE! But now there was an "Interactive Story: Zombie Invasion." "What's with all these zombies?" said FTA. But then they saw VitaminMint. "Hi Ntom ridged means means with ridges, other meanings which it makes no sense to use in that context; it does not mean firm, unyielding. I'm not usually a grammar nazi but I made an exception for good non-grammar nazi reasons, like Ntom is a grammar nazi, so I don't think i'm a grammar nazi." "Christ sakes, you've made your point!" "Do you still have your admin powers, Tom?" said KevROB. "We'll see..." responded Tom. Tom then used "SHINING FINGER" on VitaminMint. There was then a generic explosion. "...VitaminMint...DEACTIVATED." "Do you really have to say that everytime you delete someone?" said Spiffy. "OF COURSE!" said Helldragon.

"Hey guys, what do you think this means?" said KevROB pointing to a strange signature.

CENSORED FOR PUBLIC VIEWING.

DXnagma

"DX...nagma?" said Ron. "Gee, we definitely won't see anyone like that!" said Helldragon as he drank some Bat Blood from his Bat Cup which came out of his Bat Man lunchbox. "...So what now?" said AxelRyman. Fearless, with her sexy cape, had an idea. "Let's go look for more ice cream." The rest of the party was confused. "Ice...cream?" said BigAl. "It sounds...phallic, that's all I'm going to say." Gareth said with a troll smile. "Gareth, behave." Tom said pulling out his boomstick. "What is this Ice Cream that you speak of?" said Riku. "What?" Fearless said in shock. "You too Riku?" "Anyway, we should probably just go look for some help instead." Tom said stroking his chin. "Besides, Dr. Who's almost on!" So the party decided to walk in some arbitrary direction as usual.

As they were walking, they went past a cemetery. They saw the tombstones of past members. The party decided to read some of them.

Here lies TerribleTyler: Banned from the Hellfirecomms board and from life

RIP GameCommentaries: We never really liked you anyway

somegamer lies here: The man that never posts anymore

TheBlueWind rests here: It's been over 2 months, with obviously means he's dead. RIP

Now that they've seen them, they won't ever mention them again. How useful. Then a past member rose up from his grave. It was DeeCortez365, and he had a "" T-shirt on. "CAN EYE HAVE UR EMAIL ADRESSES?" he said to Fearless. "Back off bitch!" said James. "She's mine!" "Well that came out of nowhere." said Spiffy. James then hung DeeCortez with his PS2 Controller somehow. "There's a lotta deaths in this chapter." said J.D. Riku was about to smack him, but then he realized he wasn't Sora.

Then they saw "Characters in SS." There was Rosalina, Viewtiful Joe, Ichigo, Mega Man, Knuckles, Shadow, Anti-Sora, Bayonetta, Kratos, Master Chief, Silver, and the Wanderer from "Shadow of the Colossus." Tom was not amused. "Master Chief? Silver? Fucking Ichigo?" He couldn't hold it in any longer. "THIS IS WHY WE CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS!" Tom pulled out his Emerald Green Keyblade, and then it evolved into an Emerald Green sword with the words "I'mma gonna fuck you up, boy!" inscripted on it's side. But then Master Cheif transformed into Mr Killjoy114. Then Bayonetta summoned XGamerRichyReturns to help. Unfortunately, they were all no match for Tom and his English Rage. Then TheBlueWind rose up as a zombie. "Super Mario Sunshine is REALLY Underrated!" he said. But then Tundraboy whacked the back of TheBlueWind's head with his guitar. "Why the hell was I hit?" said TheBlueWind. Then Tom used a dimensional slash on TheBlueWind. "...TheBlueWind...BANNED."Will you stop that?" said FTA. Then daggerd and jonjon121 also rose up. "Look! Geno in brawl!" said daggerd showing a texture hack. "Wanna see E3 in 1 link?" jonjon said Linking to "Penny Arcade." "You bunch of fuckers!" said Tom before blowing their heads off.

But suddenly another user appeared. "Who the hell are you?" said Spiffy. "Me?" he responded. "Well check out my username." His username was "psychonautsmaster." "So what kind of Pokemon are you?" he said. "I'm a Ralts." "Um, no." Tom said readying his pimp hand. Al however stepped forward. He then used an attack similiar to Zoro's SanSen Sekai, because he thought there weren't enough anime references. The attack was a "Critical Hit!" which shredded pschonautsmaster into pieces. "I LIKE ONE PIECE!" said Al as he held up his One Piece DVDs. "Of course you do Al, of course you do." Tom said both congratulating and insulting him at the same time. "Is there any reason we're killing all of these members?" Riku said. "Because it's awesome!" said Helldragon pulling out the Spear of Destiny. "Because you touch yourself at night." replied FTA. "That don't even make sense, dawg." responded Tom. "Hopefully the plot will explain itself soon." said KevROB. "It better!" Helldragon replied.

"What do you think this is?" James said approaching a Giant Bomb. "DON'T TOUCH IT!" shouted FTA. Just then a guy with spiky flaming red hair appeared out of the bomb and jump kicked James IN THE FACE! As James recoiled, the mysterious stranger revealed his face. It was a combination between DeadPool, Carnage, and Magma Man. "Who are you?" said J.D. Just then, they saw another boat with a hole in it. "HEY!" he said waving to Tom. But then the STRANGA mumbled something to himself. "...iews, DEAD RISING 2!" Then he got on a motorcyle and cut Boat in half with chainsaws. "I guess you could say Boat is half the man he used to be!" Tom said. "Shut up!" replied Helldragon.

"I've been waiting for you...NTOM!" said the guy. "Who the hell are you?" responded Tom. "They call me..."

...

...

...

...

"DXMAGMA!" He then began gesturing all over the damn place. "And I," he began,

"I am Ramona's second evil ex-boyfriend!"

He said while overactively pointing at Tom. "The fuck you on about, honkey?" said Tom. "LUCAS!" said Porky before being punched across space. "Didn't you get my email explaining the situation?" "What email?" said Tom. "You will pay for your insolence!" responded DXmagma. "What's going on?" shouted Tom. "DXmagma currently reviews...

SCOTT PILGRIM VS. THE WORLD!

He then proceeded to do a combo similiar to Rock Howard's "Neo Deadly Rave". "Don't worry Tom," began James. "We'll do it for you!" And it was boss time! And then out of nowhere, Matthew Patel's battle theme began playing in the background. (You can play it if you want. If not, I won't force you to...like a certain story!)

Boss: DXmagma!

Tom dodge rolled out of the way of the incoming demon hipster chicks. Meanwhile AxelRyman and Al were playing "The Clash at Demonhead" for the NES. This long review/battle took ages. It took so long, the battle had to be cut into two posts. But then Fearless snuck behind DXmagma and smacked the bastard. "Fine then!" said DXmagma. "DXmagma reviews..."

SUPER MARIO GALAXY!

Then DXmagma began spinning all over the damn place. "I call this one, the Retard Rampage." said FTA. "Dammit Gareth, you stole my lines!" said Tom. So then Helldragon began transforming into a velociraptor, because he is a Transformer you know. But...DENIED! DXmagma began feeding Helldragon his Star Bits. But before he could make Helldragon explode, La Jinn the mystical genie from the lamp jumped in front of him, saving his life. Then Tom kicked DXmagma IN THE NUTS! "DAMMIT!" yelled DXmagma. "DXmagma currently reviews..."

Shadow the Hedgehog!

"NOOO!" screamed Tom. "The game is shit, and no amount of "my opinion" or "it was crap, but I had fun with it so that's OK" will turn it into a good game!" So then DXmagma soiled himself out of fear of getting shagged. "SHANK!" said Tom. "S. H. A. N. K!" But then DXmagma transformed into his true form! Feel the power of my shockwaves! Then over nine...ty eight shockwaves began appearing out of nowhere. There were so many shockwaves, it caused Tom to have a mental breakdown, somehow.

DXmagma had Tom now. But then Helldragon put him in a headlock, letting Tom escape. Tom got up, and got to a safe area. But then suddenly a METEORITE SWORD forged by Terry Pratchett, the guy that made the Discworld novels, fell from the sky. No seriously, I am not kidding. "...why?" said DXmagma, "...just why?" Tom grabs said METEOR SWORD, and shanks DXmagma in the face with it.

K.O.!

DXmagma had been defeated. "You little...YOU LITTLE!" DXmagma said backing up, not noticing the cliff behind him. "And I would've gotten away with it too! If it weren't for you nerds and your peng-" "DON'T YOU DARE REFERENCE SCOOBY-DOO!" shouted Tom. But before Tom could finish him off, a cloaked figure appeared out of nowhere, and threw DXmagma off said cliff, into the fires of Hell below. "FATALITY." said the cloaked figure. It was a voice they would not soon forget. The figure then disappeared. "Who the fuck was that?" said Spiffy. "Dunno." responded Riku. "We DEFINITELY won't see him in the next chapter." said James.

But then they noticed something behind them. "What's that mysterious ticking sound?" said Tom. "Let's go see what it is!" said J.D. But first Tom noticed something on his back. It was a note from DXmagma. "Dear pesky nerds, here's a gift from me to you." On the back of the note was a picture of sex, and a bob-omb. "Son of a bitch!" said Tom. And then the Sex Bob-Omb went off, and the explosion sent them flying towards another section.

...To be continued...when I'm not lazy...