" I have to do this" I thought to myself. While i tried to convince myself that I should turn around and go back to sleep. Even though its midnight the light of the moon casts silhouettes of figures against the wall from the windows of the cathedral style hallway. The witch light overhead illuminating the dimly lot corridor as I navigate myself toward the other side of the institute. His room.
My bare feet creating the sound of footsteps as I lightly tread on the bare marble floor. " Maybe I should turn back and get slippers", said a little voice inside my head and with a steady "No" I replied. I have to do this, no matter how hard it will be.
As I near my destination my footsteps slow, and my heart rate quickens. I lightly press my palm to the door to his room, where I know he will be sleeping, " don't think about that Tessa". And almost by instinct I reach down to the handle pull upward and then turn the brass circle gently sideways. I wondered why I knew that as I have only been in his room once before with Jem, and he the one to open the broken door. I walked in and immediately realized two things, Sophie has not been in this room in a long time, because of the lack of tidiness, and two he was not there. By now I know him well enough that he is not actually out drinking, but I actually have no idea where he would be. I kneel down, my head on his sheets and fists holding them close, the smell of him is even intoxicating for me, and touching him was like, no, I can't think of that know, Jem is my fiancée, and I am her knowing I can no longer live without telling him how I feel. I drop beside the bed as an unexpected anger washes over me. Why would I even try to talk to him, it's not like it would help either of us, in fact it would just cause us more pain. And then I tried to blink back tears, not of anger, but realization, of how much of an idiot I am. I sat there holding back the salty water from leaking out of my eyes, as I fell asleep on the hard wooden floor of his room.
Hard muscular arms and the smell of sweat and ichor awoke me, expecting Jem to have found me I curled up to him. As I blinked the morning haze from my eyes I realized that not jem's silvery grey eyes were looking down at me but deep midnight blue ones with flecks of violet and indigo surrounding the rims, and I realized that It was not jem's arms holding me but Will's.
