Prologue:

Movement jars the small, carrot-haired man awake and he sits up with a tired grunt. His eyes are glued shut with sleep and he peers around blindly, trying to assess his surroundings. Then he is jostled once more and a quiet whimper sounds from beside him.

His eyes snap open.

Konan lays beside him, eyes squeezed shut. She rolls over, facing away from him, and her frown deepens. Letting out a huff, she opens her eyes and sits up, running her hand over the smooth plastic beneath them.

"Where are we?"

Pein shrugs slightly, running his hand over the smooth surface too. Instead of their fairly large bed, inside their fairly large room, the duo sit on top of hard, ice cold expanse of black with the rest of their 'children' scattered about, curled up into random piles.

Sasori is the only other one awake, watching them with his dull mahogany orbs. Deidara lays sprawled out beside him, arms stretched out awkwardly. The blonde bombshell grumbles under his breath whenever Tobi snuggles closer to him. Hidan lays, a few inches away, flat on his stomach, a puddle of drool surrounding his head. His loud snoring is mostly drowned out by the constant hum resonating from the darkness beneath them. Kakuzu is curled up on his side. Itachi is stretched out a few inches away, sleeping a little closer to Pein and Konan. One slender arm is stretched across his face, shielding his eyes. Kisame is curled up to his side, face buried into the weasel's side.

The ginger lord's eyes land on Zetsu, who is sleep-crawling his way towards Hidan, mumbling hungrily.

"We should stop him." Konan presses her lips into a tight line, watching Zetsu's sloth like movements.

"We should." Pein muses.

Sasori blinks at them, "But you won't."

Konan bites back a chuckle. The two silently watch as Zetsu nears Hidan, fingers brushing the zealot's foot. Hidan was a nifty alarm clock and almost always woke the other members up in the mornings. Him and Deidara, that is. If it wasn't Hidan, it was Deidara.

The loud, ear-splitting curse slices through the air, like a blade against skin. Zetsu jerks awake, facial features twisting with a mixture of disgust and realization. He hawks out a mouthful of blood and wipes his mouth with the back of his hand.

Hidan clutches his foot, teeth grinding, "What the fuck was that for, asshole?"

"Obviously, we mistook you for something delicious." The overgrown plant retorts bitterly, still grimacing from the taste of Hidan. "It's not our fault you smell yummy."

The zealot blinks at him. "I'm not sure whether to take that as a fucking insult or a compliment. Either way, you're both fucking idiots and you can get the hell away from me."

Kakuzu's knuckles crack against Hidan's cheek. "That's for waking me up."

A blur of black and orange flies across the black expanse and Pein dodges. Tobi hits the plastic with a thump and a squeal. Deidara glares at him, "Get the fuck away from me, yeah!"

"Mommy?" Pein's attention drifts towards Itachi, who is stoically fending off a cuddly Kisame and staring pointedly at said ginger lord. "Where are we?" The raven haired man asks.

Pein bites back a sigh and stands, dusting himself off. Casting a long look around, the man finds the edge of the dark surface and strides over to it. His carrot-colored brows furrow in confusion.

"It looks like a fucking kitchen." Hidan remarks beside him.

"Sit back down." Pein's knuckles smack against Hidan's abdomen and the zealot flies backwards, hitting the tan wall behind the strange thing they stand/sit on. He slides down and disappears within the crack between the two.

Everyone sort of stares at the spot where Hidan disappeared and then looks to Pein, who huffs mutely and cracks his knuckles. "It looks like a kitchen."

"So we can see." Konan is unimpressed. The bluette stands and moves over to stand beside Pein. Her amber eyes flicker over the kitchen. Dark inky counter tops top the wooden cabinets that line the edges of the room, breaking only to fit in the dark glass-top stove. Little knickknacks and appliances dot the top of the counters and a small woman works around them. Her brown hair is pulled back, into a small bun atop her head. She grumbles something under her breath as she fiddles with a steel toaster.

Konan looks up at Pein, "So what do we do?"

"Split up." Pein turns back to the rest of the Akatsuki, eyes hard, "Try to stay with your partner and if you get lost, make sure to report back here later. I assume we're on the fridge."

"Don't kill anyone." Konan folds her arms across her chest, skewering the men with her eyes, "Gather any information you can."

Pein nods slightly in agreement, despite feeling a little miffed that Konan stole his thunder.

"Alright, you are dismissed."