Peace: A "Fixed It" Drabble
She'd found her place in the world.
Natasha knew pain. It was among the few things in life that she'd come to accept was a guarantee. Death, pain, grief… She'd come to terms with that long ago. Before New York, before Thanos…
It was a funny thing, falling. She'd always known she wanted to go out on her own terms. To lose was not what she had been taught. Failure was unacceptable. No matter the odds that were stacked against her.
It was a mentality that had seen her through much, but such a mentality had been wasted in her youth on something that did not have the roots of her convictions embedded deep enough to draw blood. This… This did. To bring everyone back, to right a wrong of immense proportions. To take back what had been taken. Reset the scales.
She had found a group of people that made her feel, that had made it safe to feel. She had established a connection, a web of her own of people that she cared for and loved. People that she fought beside. People that she would go to the ends of the earth to protect. If it meant laying down her life, so be it. If it meant dying so others might live, so be it.
Whatever it takes. That was what they'd agreed on. She knew going in that this was a possibility. She'd known it in New York, in Sokovia… Natasha had never been blind to the risks that came with the work they did. But she was an Avenger, and whether she was working to avenge a fallen comrade or atone for her own past, it didn't matter anymore. The action mattered. The sacrifice… The gift.
Falling. It was almost like flying.
Then there was the pain. It spiraled through her ribs, up her spine.
Nothing lasted forever, and as quickly as it had come, finally, Natasha felt the pain end. Like a pool of cool water, the absence of any feeling at all overcame her and sank into her bones. Relief. How often had she chased this feeling too? She'd chased it down abandoned dark alleys in Moscow and through crowded rooms in New York… It didn't matter. It had been lonely work either way.
But she hadn't died alone.
She could hear Clint still, even as The Widow took her last breath, as her vision went dark and peace overcame her.
"It's okay. Let me go."
She'd meant it when she said it. They had a fighting chance now. If it took her life to bring back everyone they'd lost, it was something she would forfeit willingly.
Willingly. A soul freely given.
Free. It was the last thought that passed through her before she submerged in the darkness. For the first time in her life, Natasha Romanoff surrendered. She'd fought for so long, and now, it was time to let go.
oOo
A soul freely given.
Power not to destroy, but to heal. To right a wrong. There is not a nobler cause.
Nothing lasts forever.
The black receded. Natasha emerged.
The words hooked her, grasping at her sternum and pulling her up. Up… up… Towards a light. It was a pinprick at first, a flickering little flame that went in and out like a heartbeat for what felt like an eternity. Eternity…
"Nat! Natasha. Jesus Christ. Get up."
The hook in her chest was replaced by hands on her shoulder. She was pulled from the depths of the darkness, from… water. A cough racked her frame, and she crumpled forward as her lungs begged for oxygen. Warm arms were around her, holding her up…
She wasn't alone.
Her hand was clenched tightly around something, even as she attempted to right herself. The stone glowed in her hand. It was warm, pulsing like it was life itself.
"I thought you were dead. You died, Nat." It was Clint. Natasha clung to him. This had been for him, for Steve, for Tony, for the world… For everyone who had lost. "It should have been me. You know it should have been me-"
"You know I wasn't going to let you… do that…" The words were raw, sprinkled through labored breaths as she fought to come to terms with her surroundings. She wasn't dead… But she had died. She'd felt her heart give out, tasted the blood in her mouth just as surely as she felt Clint's arms around her now. "I was always faster than you, Clint."
A choked laugh came from Clint then, and he held her close against his chest as they sat in the pool. She could feel a chaste kiss in the crown of her hair, and his arms remained tightly around her as he spoke, one hand rubbing up and down her bicep as if to warm her. "Christ, you're a pain in my ass. You scared the shit out of me."
She laughed too then, and it was a motion that released her own tension. "How… how did I get here?"
"There is no nobler cause."
Natasha looked up, her free hand going for her gun in its holster and coming up empty. The entity from the cliff, The Red Skull… She'd seen photos, of course. She wasn't ignorant of who he was. He hovered now, far less tangible than he had been back at the cliffside, but present all the same at the edge of the amber pool that she and Clint had emerged in. A villain in life, and now? Seemingly, an agent of The Stones. And it was that agent's duty to relay their will, not his. A fitting punishment for one who had thought to control them in life, she was sure.
"The stone weighs judgement on those who seek it. A soul freely given, not for power, but for the greater good… For balance. For life itself. Go with what you have earned Natasha Romanoff, The Black Widow. Put its will to work."
Clint had made it to his feet, bow in hand and ready to shoot, but Natasha had yet to find her footing. With his message delivered, the figure before them faded. She stumbled forward as Clint helped her to her feet. "One thing I've learned? Don't ask questions when the creepy cloaked guys give you the chance to leave," he muttered.
"Why would I ask questions? You know I know all the answers," she quipped back, tossing Clint a grin as he brought his hand up and punched at the device to bring their suits back up and running. "Come on. Let's get back to the team."
She'd be around to see this through to the end, no matter what it took.
She knew her place in the world.
She was an Avenger.
oOo
AN: I figured if the plot of the actual movie could be so ridiculous and plot-hole ridden, I could take the time to set some things right for my own peace of mind. Personally, I like this version much better Also, if this version has already been written, my bad. I haven't logged in to read anything fanfic related in a good year so not entirely sure what's already posted! I may play around with more as to how this affected the rest of the story. We'll see...
