Christmas Special: Episode One
A/N: A one-shot Christmas Special. Maybe. We'll see. Enjoy. I said, enjoy!
- o -
It was Christmas Eve. And as one might expect, the mall was buzzing with shoppers out and about, doing their end of the year shopping. The sea of people was thick. And that's exactly why her perp dove into the crowd. It provided the perfect escape.
But Jane was relentless in her pursuit. She pushed and shoved her way through the restless mob.
"Boston police!" Jane shouted. "Get out the way!"
"Hey!" A woman caught Jane by the arm, and stopped her dead in her tracks. "Get in line, bitch, and wait your turn."
"Move it, pregnant Rosie O'Donnell."
"Who do you think you are?!"
Jane lifted up her blazer, to reveal both her badge and gun. "Either you get back on your broom and get out of my way, or I'll knock you on your ass so hard, you wished it was Dorothy that sat on your face. Which is it going to be?"
The woman gulped. And to her better judgement, she moved aside.
"Thank you."
And with that, Jane took off with the athleticism of an Olympic sprinter. The minor setback was most unwelcomed. Jane lost sight of her perp. But she didn't panic. Instead, she found the closest escalator; and as the lift elevated, Jane found her perp not too far off in the distance. She was on the second floor, while he was still on the ground floor. Jane took off in that direction.
The man was headed towards the emergency exit.
There was no way Jane would be able to cut him off in time, given their distance. She had a split second to decide. This was it. And before she could regret her decision, Jane leaped off the second floor ledge, and she jumped to the ground floor. It was easily a twenty foot drop, if not more. But Jane wasn't stupid, or you know, completely insane. She aimed for the pile of presents below, by the heavily decorated Christmas tree.
The impact was brutal.
Women and children, and a couple of Santa's elves, screamed at the unexpectedness of it all.
"Oh my God!"
"Is she dead?"
A guy pulled his cell phone out, and started recording. "World Star Hip Hop!"
"Someone call 9-1-1!"
There was no time for that. Jane sprang back to live, and gave chase, yet again. When she neared the corridor leading to the emergency exit, Jane drew her Glock, and cautiously, she swept the area.
The area was restricted to personnel only. It was cold. And dimly lit. It was the stuff horror movies were made of. The fluorescent lights were flickering uncontrollably; the smell of garbage was nauseating; there were rat droppings everywhere; her shoes were sticky from gunk and bodily fluid.
A trash can was hurled in the air.
Jane went down, hard.
Two shots rang out.
A bullet caught Jane right in the chest.
The perp closed in for the kill.
Jane raised her Glock, and she fired off multiple shots, in rapid succession.
The discharges were deafening.
The perp collapsed onto his knees, and fell back.
The ringing in her ears caused Jane to become disorientated. And then there was the pressure on her chest. She swept her hand over the area. And there, lodged in her bulletproof vest, was a single .45 caliber bullet. The Kevlar stopped the bullet, but it did nothing to absorb the blowback.
With clenched teeth, Jane pushed herself up, and she approached the perp. She kicked away his pistol. She felt for a pulse. But there was none.
Jane stood back up, perhaps, a little too quickly. Suddenly, the room around her began to swoon harder than a tilt-a-whirl.
Jane collapsed flat onto her back. The darkness on the outskirts of her vision closed in on her. She did her best to resist, but it was a lost cause.
Jane laid there in a pool of her own blood, as her lungs gave out, and she struggled to breathe. One moment she was staring at the moldy ceiling, and the next, the face of a woman she didn't recognize, stared back at her.
That face was the last thing she remembered.
And it was lights out.
- o -
The room was fairly spacious, given the fact that it was a public hospital. But best of all, it had both basic, and premium cable, available at the touch of a button. She was here anyways; she might as well enjoy it. If there was one thing mankind has gotten right, it was their entertainment. Every now and then, she would visit Earth, just to indulge in her favorite shows.
"Seriously, CBS?! You can't leave me hanging like that! What happened to Shaw?!"
Jane opened one eye, and then the next. She was in a room she didn't recognize. But it wasn't hard to figure out she was in a hospital; the interior design and the machinery were a dead giveaway.
Jane sat up, stretched her arms, and yawned. What she saw next, she had no explanation for. There on the couch, with her legs up, was a woman in nothing but her birthday suit, and a bag of Cheetos.
"Why are you in my room, and why the Hell are you naked?"
"Oh, good, you're awake." The woman said nonchalantly. "Hey, listen, what are these 'Kardashians' they keep talking about? Are they a deity you humans worship for fortune and fertility?"
Jane was as lost as she was confused. "Who are you?"
The woman stood up in all her naked glory, and dusted the crumbs from her well-rounded breast. "Who I am isn't important. You got any cash on you? I want to get a box of Krispy Kreme. God. I've really missed those."
Jane couldn't help but sneak a peek, and words could not describe her horror. "Oh, God! You're like a Barbie doll down there."
"Huh?"
"It's like two hot dog buns sewn together. It's so shiny I can see my reflection. What…where's your…you know."
"We don't have — what do you kids today call it — a vajayjay. We have no need to procreate, nor any sexual desires. We are above human emotions."
Jane understood every word, she just couldn't understand her. This couldn't be real. She was certain she was dreaming. She pinched herself to make sure.
"Here, let me help."
The woman slapped Jane across the face with an open palm.
"OW!"
"Did that hurt?"
"Of course it did!"
"There you have it. This is real."
Jane asked again, "Who are you?"
"I am Kára; daughter of Odin and Frigg; sister of Thor, Baldr, Vidar, and Váli."
Jane paused, if only just for a moment, to let that sink in. "Thor is your brother?"
"Yes, he is."
"You either escaped from the psych ward, or you've been watching too much Marvel, lady."
"Not lady. Kára."
"Okay, Kára. You need to take your naked ass, and leave. Go bother Chris Hemsworth, because frankly, I'm not in the mood. This isn't a spa. I'm not here on vacation. I just got shot."
"Chris Hemsworth?" Kára asked confusingly, "Is he a Valkyrie, too?"
Jane pressed down on the bridge of her nose. "First you're crazy, then you're a Goddess, and now, you're a Valkyrie, too? Look, Kára, or whatever the Hell your name is, you're in the wrong fandom. You're looking for Lost Girl. Look for the Doccubus fans. This is Rizzoli & Isles, you know, by Tess Gerritsen. This fandom is for Rizzles only."
Words had failed her. Kára was done talking. She concentrated, and in the blink of an eye, her wings sprouted from between her shoulder blades. The sight was majestic, and surreal. Its wing span was more than six feet in length.
"Am I still crazy now?"
The sight left Jane breathless, and rendered her speechless. She's never seen anything like this before.
"I'm here to take you away, Jane, to the happiest place imaginable."
"To Disneyland?"
"No, you idiot, Valhalla."
"Wait! What?!"
"Haven't you noticed? You're dead."
- o -
"I won't lie to you, Maura, it doesn't look good."
"Talk to me, Kent."
"Her carotid artery was perforated by a stray bullet. Truth be told, I don't know how she survived. She lost more than sixty percent of her blood volume when paramedics found her. She should've died from exsanguination."
"Jane's a fighter. She won't go down without a fight."
Dr. Kent Drake shook his head, and said, "Before we could get her blood pressure back up, she suffered a prolonged cardiac arrest."
Maura knew exactly what this meant. "How long?"
"More than five minutes."
Maura clasped her mouth, and gasped.
"As you're already aware, acute hypoxia is a real possibility. It's likely she suffered irreversible brain damage, but we won't know the extent of that damage until she wakes. Or, if she wakes."
Tears burst forth from her ducts as Maura balled her eyes out. This wasn't how it was supposed to be. They were supposed to spend their very first Christmas together as a couple with their family and friends, and loved ones. But all that seemed like another lifetime ago. Jane was comatose. And fighting for her life.
"I'll update you once I know more." Dr. Drake continued, "My condolences."
When Maura was finally left alone, her façade broke down, and so did she. She crouched in a corner, her face buried in her arms, and she cried. She cried unlike she's ever cried before.
- o -
"Maura!" Jane reached out to grab her girlfriend, but her hand drove right through her. "What…?"
"It's pointless. You do not possess a physical body anymore. You're not the first to try either. I've seen it all." Kára chomped down on an apple, and talked with her mouth full. "I had a guy just last week, tried to push his own mother down a flight of stairs. Unlike you though, he wasn't going to Valhalla."
Jane knocked the half-eaten apple from Kára's hand. "Will you, please, be serious for one second?!"
"Hey! You know how hard it was for me to steal that?"
"I'm not dead. I'm in a coma, so why am I a ghost?!"
"Nobody said you're a ghost. You're brain-dead. So, technically, you're in limbo; neither here nor there. But should you choose to accept my invite to Valhalla, then you die."
"And if I refuse?"
Kára scoffed, "Nobody refuses Valhalla."
"But if I do?"
"Then you'll be destined to walk this Earthly plane as a voiceless, soulless entity." Kára's demeanor darkened, "If you refuse, then that's it, there's no do-over. So before you do anything rash, think this through. Not many are extended an invitation to Valhalla, to Asgard. You're one of the lucky few. Do not squander this opportunity."
"It's not my time yet. When I'm ready to die, you'll be the first person I call, Kára, but this can't be it. I need you to help me get back to my body."
For the first time in more than a century, Kára hesitated. She was torn. Jane Clementine Rizzoli was a worthy individual, if not, she wouldn't be here. But then again, there have been countless worthy individuals to pass through her hands, and she's never hesitated before, not like this. But there was more. Besides courage and valiance, Jane also possessed a pure heart; a true rarity in this day and age. And that was invaluable.
"It's Christmas Day, Kára. There has to be a beating heart somewhere in that cold, clammy chest of yours."
There was one thing Kára wanted more than Jane's soul. And for centuries, it's always been just out of reach. Maybe, just maybe, Jane Rizzoli was the chosen one, and will finally be able to grant her that of what she truly desires.
"Fine."
"Oh, thank you!" Jane grabbed Kára, and hugged her with her all might. "Thank you; thank you; thank you!"
"Do not thank me just yet. I want something in return for this favor."
"Whatever it is, I'll do it."
"There's a steep price to pay. One that is, perhaps, worse than death itself. You will lose your soul. And when that happens, you'll never be granted access into Valhalla again."
"I'll do anything, if it means holding Maura in my arms again."
"So be it."
Kára's angelic wings burst forth, and it enwrapped both their collective bodies.
- o -
Everybody's had that sensation where they're falling asleep, and then suddenly, they either fall or trip. That sensation causes their leg to jerk, and their drowsy mind to hurl back to consciousness.
That was how Jane felt. But the sensation was intensified, by a hundred fold.
Kára had taken her, and she climbed the skies with the trajectory of a rocket ship. When they finally stopped, they were hovering above the Stratosphere somewhere. Any further, and they would leave Earth's orbit.
"What the fuck, Kára?!"
"Your journey ends here."
"I thought you said —"
Without warning, Kára let go. And as one might expect, gravity immediately took over.
Jane went into a spiral free fall, at a terminal velocity of more than 300km/hr.
Earth was fast approaching, and Jane didn't know how to stop. She held her arms up, and braced herself for the impact. This was it.
- o -
"Put some clothes on!"
And with that, Jane shot up from bed. She breathed, laboriously; her heart was racing a mile a minute. She was covered in a layer of cold sweat. She swept her body, from head to toe. Miraculously, she was alive. She ripped off her oxygen mask, and got out of bed. She needed to see Maura.
Jane didn't have to look high and low. She found Maura exactly where she last saw her, in the hallway, by the nursing station. And much like last time, she was still crying.
"Maura!"
Maura recognized that voice from anywhere, but she couldn't believe her eyes.
Jane ran up, and she embraced the love of her life.
"Jane? How…what…you…"
Jane cupped Maura's cheeks, and she wiped away her tears. "It's a Christmas miracle."
When Maura finally picked her mouth off the floor, then and only then did her rationality return. "You shouldn't be running around. Stay right here. I'm going to get Dr. Drake."
Maura was wrong. She felt fine. In fact, she's never felt this lively before.
"A Christmas miracle? That's the story you're going with?"
Jane looked up, and it was Kára, in the flesh, eating a hot dog this time. But unlike their last encounter, the Kára she saw before her was fully clothed; rather stylishly, in fact.
"I see you finally took my advice."
"Well, I thought I would look out of place if I was completely nude. The last thing I need is to be thrown out."
Jane ran a hand through her raven locks, and sighed. "So I wasn't dreaming, then?"
"Nope."
"And you're here to collect?"
"Yep. So get dressed. That gown looks hideous on you. I can see your lady bits."
"A deal's a deal. Let's get this over with."
"Oh, sweetie, that's where you're mistaken. This is just the beginning."
- o -
A/N: Tis' the season to be jolly. Fa la la la la, la la la la. And if you're not, I reserve the right to punch you through the screen. Merry Christmas!
