The death of cloud (And the aftermath)

Dorcas! "Get me some more beer!" yelled cloud to his daughter. "Get them now, before I beat your ass"
Dorcas came up to the roof and set the six pack of Chocobud next to him and handed him his fifth Playwarriors magazine. Then she quickly slipped off of the roof and went down to continue her seemingly hopeless life as the half daughter half slave of Cloud.
By now, Cloud was halfway done with the third beer, and almost done jacking off. He reched over for another beer with his left hand. "Fuck It" he thought. "This roof has broken a million times. Repairing it would-" Just then, Cloud lost his balance. He rolled down the steep roof. As he hit the gutter, his boner was snapped in half. "AH! SON OF A BITCH!" HE yelled. Cloud hit the ground. Just as he thought he waas going to die, Sephiroth came into his view. "Heh. Dumbass." he said. At the sight of Sephiroth, whether real or a hallucination, cloud shit himself. Twice. After this, Cloud proceeded to cry like a little bitch for about five minutes. Then he tried calling for Dorcas. When she didnt come, Cloud thought of one last thing that might save him. A healing materia! He thought. Cloud reached into his now semen-and-blood-filled pocket, and pulled out a random materia. The real color of the materia was not visible, due to the liquids now covering. Cloud used it anyway. BOOOOOM!!!!! The materia's power was unleashed. instead of a healing materia, Cloud had used and explosive materia.

Cloud was yelling and screaming at 200 feet in the air, with blood, semen, shit, and now piss flying. Cloud then cried at the top of his lungs (actually gargled at the top of his lungs, now that he was uncontrollably pissing into his own mouth) "AH, FUCK ME!!!" A couple minutes later, Cloud landed boner first, also breaking every bone in his body. Cloud's vision went black. At last, the legend was left dead on the lawn, bleeding, bonerless, soiled, and broken.

The Aftermath

1. Dorcas changed her name to something better, then got a boyfriend who would bang her relentlessy all night in Cloud's old bed until they found semen and vomit sticking the matresses together. Then Drocas took her boyfriend, and relentlessy banged him in the bed of the author of this story... Until the author himself found them, angerraped them, then shot them.

2. Sephiroth reappeared, but in a different way. Dorcas gave birth to a boy before she was killed by the anonymous bastard murderer who killed her. Sephiroth grew into a pornstar. A fat one, like Ron Jeremy.

3. Overall, there was more beer for everyone, and the world became a little bit quieter...