(A/N:This story is heavily inspired by "HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" by Secondpillow. All Touhou stuff is (c) Team Shanghai Alice and ZUN.)
Reimu Hakurei was awakened by a sawing sound. She got up from her sentient throne of bones and saw Marisa pleasuring Alice with her adamantite witch's broom, which had some sick tribal graphics and a kickin' sound system. "I thought I told you not to do that on this floor of the palace," said Reimu as she reached for her miko stick.
The miko stick had been carved by blind clockmakers who were also sex offenders from the firstborn son of a tree made of the metaphysical concept of murder. The ribbon on the end had been woven by the three fates from the eternally screaming essence of a ghost that claimed it had seen a dead guy once. Also, power metal was playing the whole time. It was truly the mikoest of sticks.
Reimu hefted the miko stick in her tatooed hand and threw it at Marisa. It impacted her face head-on, piercing both her eyes as well as her uterus, and giving her the most mindblowing orgasm she had ever experienced. As Marisa quivered on the damp floor, Reimu pointed at Alice. "Have at thee, knave!" she challenged.
"Wait, dawg," said Alice. She reached behind her head and unzipped herself, revealing that she was actually Snoop Dogg. "I got da kush right here." Snoop held up a 50-kilo sack of something dark purple and moving.
"I'll get the razor blades," answered Reimu. And then she and Snoop got high.
