A better place to be

A disclaimer woppy we see them every time. The characters aren't mine so don't sue me, can't make ends meet as it is. The occasional V.I.P.'s I also own no rights to.

Note: This fan fiction was inspired by all the days I forgot to take my medicine and the voice would get creative.



Sitting in the temple, like always sat those beautiful teenagers that had enough power to blow up the world, or make anybody's day bad when PMS strikes.

"Why are we always at the Temple?" Usagi asked bitchily (PMS).

"Would you rather have it with your mom constantly looking at us?" Rei sneered back (Worse PMS).

The rest of the scouts sweet drop and downed a bottle of aspirin a piece. Suddenly Rei felt a dark sensation. She signaled the scouts up. The crossed the floor, Rei's hands reached towards. In a flurry of motion she whipped open the door. Rei's grandfather stood there, holding a camera and a stack of dirty magazines. He looked at them and fled with his pile. A second later he popped back around took a snap shot and disappeared. Another pervert dispelled, a sacred duty of the scouts had been fulfilled. They turned to sit back down. Just then the door to the temple flew open.

"Hey ever body." The man in the door said.

"Hey writer Tomoe!" a course yelled from behind the scouts, who turned around to stare at the back wall. Spinning around they stood up defensively.

"Who are you?" Matoko asked.

The man's face fell, "I'm Tomoe, the writer."

"That makes sense." Usagi said.

"Writer of what?" Ami asked.

"This fanfiction of course, I can control all the and manipulate this world in anyway I chose." He laughed like an yoman. Rei walked up to him and bitched slapped him throwing him to the floor. The author stared at her with venom. He stood up and spoke, "Prepare yourselves for the next challenge that soon is to come."

"How do you know that?" Ami asked.

The author pulled a lab top, across the screen one thing shone, "The creature with his black wings stood to face the scout."

"Now that's deep." Usagi said.

The man turned and walked out the door.

Things were set in motion.

The next day.

"You think that guy was telling the truth." Usagi asked shifting her head side to side as if making sure no one was listening.

"I'm sure he's just some loon of a fan." Rei spurted out (Still PMS)

"But, what if he's not?!" Usagi asked eyes getting too large for her head tears falling out, desperately cling to Minako's arm.

"Get off of me!"

"We pond him into the ground so he doesn't stop bothering us." (Come one you can guess who thhhaat is)

Ami suddenly got an idea, "Hey lets go to the Crown guys." Both she and Makoto let out a sigh.

And so it was, that once again the Sailor Senshi headed to the Crown, and there was much rejoicing.

Yeeaa

As usual Andrew met them right outside the arcade, hands still imbeded in his aporen, "Hey guys, how it going."

Both Ami and Makoto get dream eyed.

"You guys here to play the new Sailor V game?" He said winking at Minako.

"Hey andrew how is it you always get the new Sailor V game before everyone else in the city?" Usagi pondered. (So she what if she doesn't know what ponders means, I can still use it!)

"Special order."

"I see."

Like always just as things get going in comes the monster.

A large muscular oni falls from the sky next to the Scouts. People mass exit stage left, leaving only the Senshi and Andrew.

"He was right." Usagi whined.

"Stop your complaining and transform!" Sailor Mars yells.

"Ok."

So she takes the next 5 minutes to transform, while Ami and Rei play a game of chess. (A short game, for Rei ()

"I am Sailor Moon, and on the behalf of the Moon I shall punish evil, and that means you."

The oni wakes up and gives the look what do you want on your tombstone? (Pepperoni!)

"Take this Burning Mada….." Rei was suddenly stopped.

"Wait!" Everyone turned to see the writer coming out of the Crown, "I'm making a substitution, Mars, you will attack with this." He handed her the object.

Mars's eyes burned, What THE HELL AM I GOING TO DO WITH THIS."

"SAREA SAREA!" a brunette on rollerbaldes flew by grabbing the stuffed Luna doll.

"Hey I need that!" Rei ran after her but, not before pounding the writer.

On the ground, with a black eye he groaned, "The things I do for this story." And promptly passed out.

And there was much rejoicing.

The oni attacked and scattered the Senshi.

"I can't let this continue." Andrew yelled, and proceeded to pull a missile launcher out of his apron.

"So that's what he's been hiding all these years." Ami commented.

Andrew fired at the oni and fell it with a single shot. (Quite the anticlimax, ne?)

Both Ami and Makoto fell on him, "Ohh Andrew, we love you!"

Andrew Push them off, "Sorry guys but, I love Minako."

"Wawho"

"What?" Ami and Makoto said faces dropping rapidly.

"Lets us run off darling." With that Minako and Andrew skipped off hand in hand.

Staring for a couple of seconds at the departed couple, both Makoto and Ami fell into each another crying.

This lasted for only a few seconds before both of them looked into the others eyes. They then passionately started to kiss, grinding their bodies into one another.

"Did I miss anything." Rei asked and saw the two new lesbian scouts. She was stunned to say the least.

"I wonder what our other lesbian scouts are doing right this moment."

Somewhere else

Haruka patted the dirt down with a shovel. She stood admiring her work. She bent down and pushed the aqua blue tuff hair that had tried to escape, back down into the Earth. She turned around to Setsuna who was behind. Haruka pulled her into an embrace. Placing her mouth near Setsuna's ear, "And with that done we can finally be together my love." Both smiled as the went to their room for a "private music lesson".

Dancing around the dirt pile Hataro singing, "The Wicked Witch is Dead."

Open to a stage were smoke machines make a thick rolling fog…..

"What fellow could bee more happy then when the goddess makes sweet love."

"And mountain tops rumble with unearthly sounds, of the author's coming ."

"To all that be drawn cringe in fear, for the master returns."

"Soon we must leave, to drink mead."

"For no one should read this sober ."

"For he didn't write it as such."

"Now that one was good."

"It was indeed, now let us depart to ye near by pub."

And so the Moody blues went off to get bombed

And there was much rejoicing.

Rei eyed the two scouts in their tight, loving embrace. "Would you not do that in the temple!"

Ami and Makoto stopped and gave her the look, try to stop us, and went back to their other endevers.

"Why do I even try?"

"Don't know stubbornness?" The author said appearing from out of know were.

"What do you want now?" Rei's tone like usual was indignant.

"Oh nothing, just wanted to let you know that there's going to be another fight soon."

Ami stopped kissing long enough to ask the author her question, "When?"

Stopping to look at his watch the author told them, "I would say, now."

The wall behind them flew to pieces and a large oni with red skin, white hair, and blue pants rushed in humming the American national anthem. Not that any one of the scouts knew, being Japanese it so it was a waste. The author made a small mental note.

The senshi quickly changed, "I am sailor Moon champion of love and justice."

"I'm sailor……" Mars was cut short by a bell.

The author stood up and cleared his thought, "To make this fanfiction better when ever I ring this bell you must change your last line, go."

"I'm sailor mars protector of the inoc….."

bing

"I'm sailor Mars champion of pea….."

bing

"Im sailor…."

Bing

"I'm…"

bing

"Damn it you don't even know what I was going to say!"

bing

"Fine, I'm Sailor Mars, fire bimbo."

She waited.

She waited some more.

There was no bing.

Just then Minako jumped in, right on the authors head, "Sorry I'm late Andrew just would let me leave his apartment, not that I wanted to leave." She blush with the thought.

"What," Rie yelled, "is the meaning of this! That's it I know when I'm not wanted. Chad!"

Chad ran in.

"We're leaving, well start on are own just you and me." Rei said.

Chad's face was down, "Rei I can't do that."

"Why not?!"

"I'm in love with Minako."

"Whaho!"

"Not again." Rie groaned and she left never to be heard from again.

Minako and Chad ran off to Andrews house for "introductions".

The oni, who wasn't getting the attention he wanted, left.

Makoto and Ami placed there hands around each others necks and began to sing, "You and me and me and you. No matter how they tossed the dice it had to be……."

"Stop that, Stop that!" The author said waving his hands, "No singing, I already blew the budget with the scene with the Moody Blues, I have no cash if I was sued."

Somewhere out in the forest the oni sat on a rock. It gently tossed a rock at a tree, easly splitting it in to, he sigh.

"What's wrong a voice asked from behind him."

He turned around to see Chibi Usa walk across the clearing. She sat down next to him, "You know I get sad some times." She tossed a rock, "But once I know I have friends I get better." Smiling she hug the oni, "You want to be my friend?"

Suddenly she grabbed her head. She screamed as loud as she could right before she exploded in a pink mess.

The author check off another item on his list.

The author sat on top of a hill looking over Tokyo. He smiled secretly, he had fixed every flaw in the Sailor Moon universe. He pulled out his check list. Every item was done. He suddenly stopped, he had forgotten something. "I never got with any of the scouts." He made quick calculations.

Ami: is now a lesbian no chance

Minako: has two men no chance

Usagi: Never had a chance

Chibiusa: Ewwww plus she's dead no chance.

Makoto: same as Ami no chance.

"Aw man now what do I do!"

"I can help that."

The author turned to see Rei in a leather body suit, gentle caressing a whip. He turned a sickening green color right before she was on him.

Author's house…..

The author is slowly working in aloe varia into the lashes on his back.

Ok everyone what did we learn today? Never get involved with your own fics…it hurts.

Two…. Never engage in vulgar acts with some one twice as strong as you and on PMS.

Three is you like this story and what more….review I need feedback.

Well hope to see you all again

Dr. Tomoe

Man I'm whipping these out, no. (Pardon the bad pun)