Chapter 1: Undeniable

I suppose being a senior would appeal to most.

But then again I wonder, after the 1st time how could anyone want to repeat the dull, repetitive nature that a high school inflicts.

Try as I may, I couldn't fight it, the useless thoughts I tried to fill my head with, nothing compared to the thirst that was leaving my throat dry, and my will to stay vegetarian weak. I tried to allow thoughts of anything fill my head, just not my past, the past I was ashamed of, the past I regretted... I thought of the wrestling match I'd won yesterday, inside my head I chuckled, Emmett was fuming over it, I could tell. All his emotional energy was focused on anger, and Emmett didn't let many things get him down. Then, as soon as my thoughts on the match had begun, they'd ended...

A girl with short, sandy hair walked right into the heater, blowing her scent right under my nose.

The scent lingered, I could feel the venom in my mouth, my tensing muscles.

I would casually walk up to her, stand by her side, I would lean in as if I were to tell her a secret, and then ever so gently I would rest my lips on her neck, the hot pulse I would feel on her throat, and then...

A kick on my chair brought my fullest attention back into reality. Abruptly I turned to Edward, I felt his disapproval in the air.

"Sorry" I muttered.

Edward shrugged.

"You weren't going to do anything" Alice said to me. "I could see that."

I struggled back a grimace as I felt Alice's panic soothe into relief, sometimes I knew what they really felt, but years of practice, learning how to control your emotions and expressions, made it more difficult for me to interpret their actual feelings, not that it always bothered me.

"It helps if you think of them as people" Alice suggested in her lovely musical voice. " "Her name is Whitney. She has a baby sister she adores. Her mother invited Esme to that garden party, do you remember?"

My last thought had not completely left me and I didn't need a constant reminder of how much two weeks of not feeding made me weaker and more dangerous than the rest of my family.

"I know who she is" I replied curtly, my tone ended the conversation... I went to look out the window, I thought about eating tonight, I truly knew my limitations were up, try as I might, my endurance wasn't strengthening as fast as we'd all hoped. I pushed myself even harder not to think of my thirst, I wouldn't be weaker than my family, I too, had chosen this lifestyle.

Alice pushed her chair out, stood up and sighed, thankfully she' d known I wasn't in the mood for encouragement.

I could hear Edward and Emmett chatting about Jessica Stanley and the new girl Isabella Swan. Why? I had no idea, nor did I care, I continued to stare out the window, my pointless thoughts carrying me away.

"Shall we?" Rosalie questioned.

I stood up, to leave for my History class, I would try to pay attention to the endless chatter the teacher spoke, although it didn't really matter, I always got 100 on all my tests, the focus would only be, to help distract me of my overwhelming thirst. As I reached my seat in room 314, I prepared myself for the boredom I was about to endure.

Throughout the rest of the day I could sense Alice's worry on me. I shrugged it off, but the feeling of her panic still left me uncomfortable. I needed to soothe her, I'd make her feel calm, as I thought of ripples in the water and relaxing picnics, I could feel her emotions sift back into neutral, but I knew she was still looking at my future.

The day had ended, as Emmett and Rosalie came to stand beside Alice and I, I saw Edward emerge from the office door, his discomfort and thirst bumping me on the head. I slipped into the volvo as soon as Edward had.

"Edward" Alice asked, alarm creeping into her voice.

Edward just shook his head.



"What the hell happened to you" Emmett demanded.

Edward's reply was to reverse. We all turned to stare at Alice.

"You're leaving?" Alice whispered.

"Am I?" Edward spat. I almost lunged at him for talking to Alice that way, but I quickly controlled myself.

"Oh...oh" Alice repeated. Confused as we were we all knew Edward was struggling to contain himself.

"Stop" he moaned.

"SS-Sorry" Alice stuttered. "I'll miss you, no matter how short a time you're gone."

I saw a flicker of Rose and Emmett sharing an apprehensive look.

"Drop us off here, you should tell Carlisle yourself," Alice instructed. "You will do the right thing."

At that point Rosalie, Emmett and I stepped out of the car as Alice muttered a few last words to Edward. Then she joined us outside, we dissolved into the forest before the volvo hit reverse.

As we drifted toward our comforting house, Edward's confusion and my on-going, undeniable thirst rattled inside my brain.