The
Art of Not Getting Yourself Killed
by
misaoshiru
"Jack. Please explain what the bloody hell you were thinking."
"Ah, Elizabeth, but that would take all night, and I'm sure a lady of your...stature doesn't have the time."
"Shut up and start explaining."
"I can't. Contradiction in terms and all that."
"You know what I meant."
"Actually, Lizzie darling, I do not. Care to explain?"
"You're the one who has a lot of explaining to do, Captain Jack Sparrow, and I happen to have plenty of time to hear it."
"Well, the Black Pearl just happened to be in this general neck of the woods - or the sea, rather - and I figured I might as well visit me lovely old lady friend - that is, you. That's what you wanted to hear, eh? So I might as well take my leave..."
"Not yet, Mr. Sparrow. Please explain why you had to break into the mansion, steal two and a half pigs, smearing their blood all over the hallway in the process, scare the bejeezus out of one of the maids, break two very expensive vases, commandeer another, set fire to my father's wig, and allow in fourteen vagabonds and the odd goat?"
"There are some things, love, that defy explanation. Savvy?"
"No, you incorrigible...!"
"Thank you."
"That was not intended as a compliment!"
