Infinite Stratos: Stellar Axis
Chapter 1: The Second Star to His Right
"-And with that Chifuyu Orimura takes the title of Brynhildr in the first annual Mondo Grosso!" In a small apartment home in Los Angles, a family sits in the living room, watching the Mondo Grosso finale.
"Ha, I told you she'd win!" A young boy exclaims to his older sister as he jumped up from his spot on the floor. "Now pay up!"
"No way! That was a cheap move so it doesn't count!" The sister said in protest as she angrily stood up.
"Nah uh! That was Chifuyu's finishing move, of course it counts!"
"It's not a fighting game dwarf!"
"I'm not a dwarf! You're just older than me! And Mom tell her that Chifuyu won!"
"No she didn't!" The girl added as both bickering siblings turned to their mother who was sitting next to her husband on the couch.
"Max is right Alexis." Their mother said sternly. "Chifuyu won fair and square. If she didn't the judges wouldn't have said she won, right." Their mother stated as she knew she was right and that her daughter was just trying to get out of paying her younger brother.
"Ha, told ya! Now pay up!" Max exclaims as he stuck out his hand to his sister.
"Fine. Still a dirty trick though…" Alexis grumbles as she fishes out a ten dollar bill from her short pocket and placed it in her younger brothers expecting hand.
"Why do you let them bet Rachel? They always end up arguing over the money." The children's father sighs as he unhappily watches his children squabble.
"Oh, don't worry so much honey. The kids aren't going to let something like money get between them so easily." Rachel says as she pat's her husband's shoulder reassuringly. "Isn't that right kids?"
"Yeah dad. Were just two loving, caring, trusting…" Max trails off as he holds the ten dollar bill up to the light to check its authenticity.
"It's real you stupid dwarf! Unlike your cheating girlfriend Chifuyu-" "She's not my- "I'm not one to use such dirty tricks, even on a dwarf like you." Alexis finished as she ignores her brothers protest until she turned her head and smirked at him.
"Oh, and if she isn't then what would you call kissing that poster you got of-" "Shut up you liar! I do not!" Max snapped back as his face turned beet red with embarrassment and anger, though mostly embarrassment.
"Oh, my son has a little crush and with such a pretty girl! ~" The siblings mother said in a sing song voice as she cups her cheek, unable to resist teasing her son a little.
"Mom!" "Well Chifuyu does seem like a fine women son." The boy's father said as he joins in on the fun. "I approve!" The states as he gives his son a big thumbs up and a dumb goofy smile.
"Dad! Mom! I don't have a crush on her!"
"Hmpf! A fine women indeed." His sister said in a huff. ". Well, when I get older I'll easily be better. I'll become the I.S. representative for the U.S. and bet Chifuyu without any of her cheap tricks." Alexis states as she puffs out her chest.
"What? You an I.S. pilot? Don't make me laugh!" Max said as he pretended to hold back his snickering. "Oh, well at least I have a better chance at becoming one then you, dwarf."
Max snickering stopped and his face turned sour. "Yeah, don't' remind me."
He always hated that fact.
Max always dreamed of piloting an I.S. one day, even drawing out how he would want it to look and all the cool stuff it would be able to do. As he saw it, nothing else in the world would be cooler.
I mean not only would he get to fight in a high-tech suit of armor with big guns, swords and all kinds of other cool bells and whistles in high octane aerial combat but he would also get paid for it?! What ten year old boy wouldn't dream of job like that?!
However there was only one small problem with that dream. His gender.
For whatever reason, only women could operate an I.S. So Max, being a boy was born unable to live his dream.
So yeah, it made Max a very dull boy.
'Girls get all the luck.' He thought glumly as he put his ten dollars in his pocket.
"Well, it might not always be like that Alexis." The girl's mother said as she noticed her son's expression and wanted to cheer him up a bit. "Scientist are always working on the I.S. trying to find out its secrets so who knows, one day they may just make an I.S. that boys can use."
"An I.S. for boys…" Max parroted as he looked back at the T.V.
Max watched as the T.V. played back highlights of the fight as he began to imagine himself in that arena, replacing Chifuyu's opponent.
He could see it all.
Clad in his I.S., La Calavera Catrina, the one he designed himself. He was going toe to toe in a battle with Chifuyu as their swords clashed in a tempest of steel and sparks. They continued this dance as they ascend into the heavens and after a brief stalemate both duelist pull back only to charge at each other for one final all in attack.
'Awesome.' The boy thought as he began to drool over his own fantasy.
"Hey, just what are you drooling over you dwarf?" Alexis said as she waved her hand in front of her brother's face and pulling him back to reality.
"I'll do it…" Max mumbled to himself as he wiped away the drool from his face mouth.
"Do what? Make an I.S. that boys can drive?" His sister said mockingly.
"Yeah. That's right!" Her brother proclaimed as a smile of hope came to his face. 'If I can't drive these I.S. I'll just make one that I can!'
"Pfft! You! Make an I.S.? Pffhahaha!" Alexis burst into a fit of laughter at the prospect of her brother building something like an I.S. "Newsflash 'Shinonino', you have to be smart to make an I.S. and with your grades-" "I'll just study harder!" Max said as he cut off his sisters brought up his less than stellar grades.
Compared to his sister who was a straight A student Max fluctuated between C's and D's. He didn't like doing homework and goofed off most of the times in school. Though he did feel a pang of guilt every time his mom or dad saw his report cards and saw their less then proud expressions.
He wanted to do better but he always either got bored or just gave up half way. But now…
"I'll do better in school!" He had a reason to be better. A clear goal. "Not just better, I'll become the top of my class and learn all I can about the I.S.! And when I'm done building it I'll show you that I am way better then you at piloting an I.S. by challenging you and smash your stupid face into the dirt!" Max exclaimed deftly as he pointed his finger at his sister in challenge.
"Max!" His father cried in surprise.
"Yeah, right dwarf! If you fight me I'll just toss your butt in the dirt like always and make you kiss my feet in defeat!" Alexis counters as she lifts her foot and tries to level it with Max's face.
"Alexis!" Her father said with even more of a shock.
"Then it's a beat! Deal!?" Max says as he spits into his hand and extends it to Alexis.
"Max that's-" "Deal!" Their father began until Alexis cut him off, spitting into her own hand and sealing their beat with a firm handshake.
"Max! Alexis! That's unsanitary! Go wash your hands! Right! Now!" "Eep!" Their father yelled making the siblings yelp and mother chuckle as they ran out of the living room and down the hall to the bathroom.
As they ran down the hall Alexis notice that it was taking a lot longer than it usually did. Slowing to a stop she looked around and noticed the hallway was getting darker and was beginning to stretch out.
"Max?" Alexis called out with a hint of fear in her tone but as she turned he head Max was already farther down the hallway and getting further still.
"Max!" Alexis cried out as she began to run after him. As she was running though she didn't feel like she was getting any closer to him. "Max!" Crying out again for her brother she began to panic as the hallway became even darker as the darkness itself looked like it was pulling itself close around her.
"Max! Max!" As Alexis continued to cry out the darkness grew, darker and closer as her brother became farther and smaller, becoming a small dot in the distance.
"Max! Ma-!" Alexis was cut off as her mouth was wrapped closed by a shadow. As she tried to pull free of it more shadows wrapped around her and began to drag her down into the darkness behind her. Struggling to get free her eyes cried out in terror for someone to save her as she felt her consciousness begin to slipping away.
'Max!'
'Max!'
Alexis tried to scream in vain as she was pulled further into the darkness, her vision fading to complete black.
'Max!'
'Max!'
'Max.'
'Ma-'
'…'
'Max!' "Uhhha!" Alexis eyes shoot open as she awoke from her nightmare and began to take in her surroundings.
No longer was she in her childhood home in Los Angeles as her twelve year old self. Right now she was looking up at the roof of a tunnel she remembered was in Washington D.C.
"But why am I-!" Alarm bells literally started to ring in her head as she realized she was clad in her I.S., Storm Hawk, as flashing red warning lights accompanying alarms went off directly into her mind. The on-screen prompts told her that her Storm Hawk had activated its emergency protocols to protect its pilot.
"But why would- The bomb!" Alexis began to recall as her I.S. enhanced conciseness began to take full effect. It all came back to her in seconds. Meeting her brother at the airport, talking on their way to their house and the bomb placed in the tunnels going off.
With the situation fully grasped Alexis switched her I.S.'s sensors over to look for heat and other vitals to help look for Max while cursing herself for not being able to protect him.
'Dammit! Why couldn't I protect him?! I have this damn armor with an Absolute Defense! Then why couldn't I-!' "Max!" After moving her head about looking for her brother her sensors located him underneath some rubble a bit a ways from the destroyed limbos they were taking to their house.
After carefully removing the rubble Alexis heart began to sink as she saw the state her brother was in. His skin was pale and burnt on his left side as a pool of blood was forming around the base of the piece of rubble he was on. Pieces of shrapnel from the limbos window, fiberglass door chassis and some metal that might have been from the bomb were littered on his left leg and a nasty looking piece of metal was lodged in his heart. He was taking in shallow breaths and her I.S. could only sense a faint heartbeat.
"No…No, No, No, No, No! Max please don't die on me!" Alexis cried but did nothing else as she feared touching him in anyway might just be the final nail in the coffin. Frantically she began to think, having her I.S. give her any possible ideas to try and save him.
Her sensors indicated the bomb went off five minutes ago and that Max had lost approximately a liter and a half of blood. Her armor told her that removing the big chunk of metal near his heart from him would only kill him faster. However it also indicated that Max would only have, at most, thirty to forty more minutes to live without proper treatment and being caved in like this would mean that help wouldn't be coming in time to save him.
'Dammit! There has to be something I can do!" Alexis looked through every part of her mind trying to recall anything she could to try and give her brother more time. "What the hell does it matter that I have the most advance piece of tech on the planet if I can't even use it to save my brother?!"
Looking to his pale, burnt and dying form Alexis couldn't help but cry. She was supposed to be his older sister. She was supposed to protect him. Yet here she was unable to do anything of real help as she watched her brother slowly die right in front of her.
"Max please wake up! If you can hear me then help! I can't think of anything and you're the one who was always trying to find out how to make the I.S. a true tool to help humanity!" With nothing else she could think of Alexis began to plead with her brother to wake up and help her. "You have been doing all that research on the I.S to make your own so you must have come across something to help now! You must have come up with-! Your research…" After crying out to him for a few moments Alexis began scan Max's pockets and then around him until she found a memory device.
The device was encase in strong protective alloy cover that Max had bought to protect it. Contained in the device all the data and research her brother had on anything to do with the I.S. From its anti-gravity systems, to the Absolute Defense, its interface and enhanced reaction and response systems. Ever part of what made the I.S. an I.S. And Alexis downloaded it directly into her own.
The information was being fed directly into her mind and she was scouring every inch of it trying to find anything related to the application of the I.S. in the field of medicine.
'Found it!' It took her less than a minute.
"-The I.S. de/re-materializing storage function as well as its self-repair an adaption protocol could, in theory, be used to preform precise body reconstruction by bonding to an existing body part or organ in an emergency situation and where help cannot arrive fast enough. This process would require an I.S. core be placed into or by whatever damage part needs repairing as the system to control the reconstructing is the core itself. However this would prove to be a challenge to a male in need of assistance as the I.S. will most likely not respond to them even if it is remotely activated and might even reject-"
Reading more to see if she missed anything Alexis unhesitantly put her I.S. in its stand-by mode and slowly prepared herself to place her I.S. into her brother. She knew that it might not work but she also knew not trying at all would mean her brother would defiantly die so she was willing to chance it. Deciding that the damage around his heart was the priority Alexis removed the piece of metal from Max's body and placed her I.S. into him.
Blood covered her hands as it began to flow freely from the wound and Alexis immediately covered it with the torn sleeve of her shirt she prepared as she tried to remotely activate her I.S. to repair Max's damaged body.
She felt queasy from the sight and smell of the blood. Forcing the bile back down, she tried to calm herself as best she could, all the while repeating to herself that if she didn't get her I.S. to activate, that if she didn't do all she could to try and save him, Max would surly die.
And she would not let that happen.
"Please Max. Let this work…" With a whispered, the girl prayed for a miracle.
…
..
.
And with the light of the setting sun…
"-And now for World News. Researchers from the National Radio Astronomy Observatory in West Virginia have picked up-" As he was waiting in his room to use the shower, Ichika absent mindedly listened to a news report on T.V.
At the moment, Earths 8th wonder of the world was having a good long think session about his position in life at the moment.
Now, close to 6:30 am might not be the best time to be thinking about great, meaningful questions, like ones place in the world or one's life at large but he figured he wouldn't have the time (or the concentration) to do so later. Doing so in class would be a detriment to his already poor grasp of the I.S. lessons (as well as his skull if Chifuyu's lesson planner had any say in the matter). Trying to do so during the time he spent with his friends was also a no-no as he needed to focus his entire being on them to try not to piss any of them off (more so then he usually did) as he rather not be spaced out if they said anything important 'Which they seem to think is everything they say.' He thought to himself with a bit of annoyance. And after all the training with Houki he usually ended up having only an hour or two to study after getting dinner and taking a bath. Then it was straight to bed to do it all over again.
Recalling all of this, Ichika couldn't help but think how hectic his routine had become. And that wasn't even counting the times life gave the occasional curve ball, like the unmanned drone that attacked the school or when he as his friends faced off against the rouge I.S.
'Man-' Ichika began to think as he laid back into his bed and brought his right hand into view. Clamped to his wrist was his I.S. Byakushushi in its stand-by mode.
'-if I never gotten lost that day I would have never found that I.S. in the gymnasium, end up turning it on and would have never been forced to come here. I would be living a normal life, attending a normal high school and would only be connected to anything extraordinary through Chifuyu-nee. Then again-'
With a sigh and a shake of his head Ichika recalled all the fun he has had as well. Getting to patching things up with Houki, and meeting Rin again. Befriending Cecilia, Char's and Laura. And even he had to admit, being the only guy in the world who could pilot his own mech was pretty cool.
"-I guess I wouldn't change anything." The youngest Orimura muttered to himself as he heard the water in the shower stop. After a few minutes he was greeted to the sight of his roommate, Charlotte Dunois, coming out of the bathroom dressed in her school uniform looking as fresh as a morning daisy.
"Ichika, I'm done with the shower now. I'll see you in the cafeteria!" With that quick goodbye, the female occupant of his dorm grabbed her school bag and headed out of their dorm.
'Well, I could do with being in my own dorm…' The very much male Ichika Orimura thought to himself as he still wonder why Charlotte is rooming with him still even after they found out she was a girl.
"It's not like I would do anything to her and I know she and Chifuyu-nee trust me and all but-" Grumbling to himself about how improper it all was the young man got up from his bed and made his way to the shower.
"-it's the principle of the thing." Sighing to himself Ichika removed his clothing in quick order and once in the shower let the refreshing feeling of water help fully wake him to truly begin his day.
"Well, it's pointing me to this one…man I hope this is the right one and don't end up making the girls here think I'm a pervert with this stunt." The young man holding the strange tracking device sighed to himself.
"Then again, first impressions are important right." He said with a mischievous smile.
*knock knock knock *
"Hmm? Wonder who that could be?" As he dried his hair Ichika heard a knocking coming from outside the bathroom.
Quickly throwing on his uniform minus the blazer Ichika exited the bathroom and opened the front door.
"Yes, hm?" Looking out into the hallway and turning his head left to right Ichika could see that no one was there.
Closing the door the boy rubbed the back of his head in confusion. "A prank this early in the morning? Though not a lot of people are here during summer break so who-"
*knock knock knock*
Hearing the same knocking again Ichika realized it was coming from the behind him. More specifically outside on the terrace behind the closed curtains.
'What the, could it be Laura?' Recalling the cute, eye patch wearing, German, soldier girl and the many times she snuck into his room through one means or another. He wouldn't be terribly surprised to think she would do this but usually she wouldn't knock like this. Or do it when the sun was up.
'Well I guess she figured it be a bother to Char's if she kept barging in without permission.' The naïve Orimura thought to himself with a stupid smile unaware of how little a maiden in love cared about 'tact'. Especially one with military training and thinks of you as their bride.
"Hey, Laura, good mor-" having pulled back the curtain and sliding glass door in one smooth motion Ichika words caught in his throat in surprise.
Instead of seeing the girl Laura Bodewig, Ichika instead saw a young man, a half a head taller than him with a messy head of black unkempt hair and a dark olive complexion. On his person were a pair of blue jeans a plain red t-shirt and what looked to be a high tech dowsing rod in his right hand.
"Hm? I don't know any Laura but I do know who you are and I'm glad I got the right room! Man it would have been bad if I knocked on the wrong glass door and had a scared girl scream and call the cops on me." The boy said with a thankful chuckle.
Ichika being brought out of his stunned surprise acted on instinct and pulled the young man inside his room, locked the sliding door, close the curtains, locked his main door and turned to meet the boy in what seem to be a blink of an eye.
"Are you crazy?!" Ichika belittled the young man, who he definitely thought had a death wish in an agitated whisper.
"You know where you are right?! A guy can't be here!"
"Oh, so your actually a girl then? How the hell did you fool the-" "You know what I mean!" The young man began to snark back before Ichika silenced him.
Ichika was honestly worried for this guy's safety as, unlike himself, the guy before him didn't have an excuse to be here. Ichika did here from Chifuyu that some of the more clever (horny/desperate) guys did sneak on to this artificial island once before but no one ever heard from them again when she got a hold of them.
If this guy was smart enough to get here Ichika might be able to convince him to leave before he was found and would suffer the divine wrath of Chifuyu's lesson planner.
"Look, I don't know who you are but-" "Oh right, the names Max!" Ichika began before he was cut off by the now named boy extending a hand to him in greeting.
Dumbly taking his hand and shaking it Ichika continued. "Um, right Max. Right. Listen you have to leave. If Chifu- I mean the staff or any of the girls find out your here your going to be in big trouble so-" And again, Max held out his hand to stop Ichika's words.
"Ah, say no more! I get it. You don't want anyone cramping your style right? I mean I can understand you not wanting any competition what with you being the only guy on this island. Must be nice, huh?" Max said as he nudged Ichika in the ribs in jest and wiggled his eyebrows.
"What, no! That's not what I-" "Don't worry man, I just came here to see if there really was a guy here in this Garden of Lilies." Saying these flamboyant words Max began walked over to the sliding door to the terrace and opened it.
"I will take up no more of your morning good sir so-" Turning to face Ichika Max walked backwards up to the edge of the terrace and- "Adios, amigo."
He fell over the edge.
"What the-?!" Ichika ran out to the terrace and was about to look over to see what happened to him but an ashen blur came up from below and the pressure it created from its updraft made him fall back onto the terrace floor.
Clamoring back up in shock Ichika used the terrace edge to lift himself up and looked up into the sky to see something that, though hypocritical coming from him, should have been impossible.
"So, what do you think-"
Max started as he floated down to meet Ichika's gaze with him looking down on him from his slightly higher position. A mischievous smile on his face as he saw Ichika's dumbfounded face.
The armor was mainly ashen white, accented with blood red and night blue plates around the gauntlets, greaves, and the rib cage area of the armor. The chest plate had a glowing orange center around where his heart would be. His head was adorn with a crown like regalia that's was a stark black save for lights that made it look like a daisy chain made of roses. Floating above his head was a halo like device that was the same shade of red and blue. His anti-gravity wings were shaped like western coffins, ashen white and assented with the same shade of red and blue.
"-Of my I.S., La Calavera Catrina?"
Ichika was at a loss for words.
Sure he had an I.S. but he was supposed to be the exception. The norm was no other guy was supposed to be able to use the I.S. for whatever reason. This was basically the impossible done twice in about six months from each other.
'Wait a second.' Ichika also thought this a few months back. The day when Charlotte Dunois introduced herself as a boy do to her father trying to manipulate her.
So perhaps-
"Hey, you in there?"
*snikt snikt* The sound of Max snapping his clawed, metal, right hand brought Ichika out of his stunned stupor.
"Oh, so that's what snapping my claws sound like. Cool." Max said offhandly as he faced Ichika again with a good natured smile.
"So like I said, what do you think?"
"Um, well… Don't take this the wrong way but…you're not a girl by any chance that's pretending to be a boy for a I.S. company by any chance?" Ichika asked hesitantly as the only way he found out Char's was a girl was walking into her naked in the shower. If it wasn't for that he would have never thought to ask if she was actually a boy.
Also if 'Max' was really a girl in the same situation Char's was in then 'Max' might not admit it out right.
But then again, who knows? It worked to be straight forward sometimes.
"?!" "?!" "?!" "?!" "?!"
For some unknown reason, Houki, Cecilia, Rin, Charlotte and Laura all felt a weird chill go down there spines. It felt like some great and profound thing was stated yet they couldn't tell what it was or grasp it's true meaning.
"Hm, uh well." Rubbing his claws palm on the back of his head, Max dematerialized La Calavera Catrina and dropped down onto the terrace with Ichika.
"I mean I could tell you but it's probably better to show you, huh." Max rhetorically said as he took off his shirt and then began to take off his pants.
"Hey, woah, woah, woah! T-That's okay! That flat chest of yours is plenty enough evidence for me. I mean no girl can be that flat right?"
"?!" "?!"
Again, for some reason, a weird chill ran down Rin and Laura's spines. However this chill instead made them feel angry for some strange reason and they reflexively put their hands to their modest chest in... embarrassment?
"Apologize to all the girls in the world with flat chest this instant dude. Even if I do have a flat chest doesn't necessarily mean I'm not a girl you know." Max said with a tone that seem to fay offense but also seemed to genially fell some offense to Ichika's statement.
"Uh, sorry?"
…
"So does that mean you are a girl then…?" Ichika asked again in confusion.
"Well no, but I thought I should say that for all the flat chested girls out there. I mean, you don't need DD boobs to be seen as a girl's right?" Max stated as he scratch the back of his head and laughed bashfully.
"Uh yeah. That is true."
"?!"
For some unknown reason, all the flat chested girls of the I.S. Academy felt some sort of chill run down there spine. However this chill felt nice for some reason. Like some sort of 'Justice' was seen to and it filled their hearts with a bit of pride and put a spring in there step.
"What the heck is going on today?" Rin and Laura questioned in unison as they thought they might be sick or something.
"So, um, do you believe I'm a guy or not?"
"Huh? Oh, uh sure. I believe you."
…
..
.
The two male I.S. pilots stared at each other for a bit, unsure of what to say to each other now that there short discussion on female anatomy was done.
…
..
.
"Um, could you put your shirt back on?" "Oh, uh right!"
…
..
.
The awkward atmosphere continued to linger until Max decide to blast it away.
"Okay, this too awkward so how about this. Have you had breakfast yet?" Thinking since he was sort of the one to create this awkward atmosphere he should be the one to dispel it.
"Oh, uh no. Not yet. Do you want to-" "Yeah. But, uh, maybe you should go and bring the food here seeing as how you're the only one I showed that I could use an I.S. and all. How about I tell you that story as we eat?"
After agreeing, Ichika went to go get them some breakfast as he told Max he could wait on his bed till he got back.
'Another ACTUAL MALE I.S. pilot.' Ichika thought with a small smile forming on his face as he walked down the hall to the cafeteria.
"Hope we can be friends."
Max was sitting on Ichika's bed and looking around absentmindedly as he finally felt the weight of the situation real sink in.
"I'm in the I.S. academy." Max said with a breathy laugh.
"Wow. And it's all thanks to this…" In a more solemn tone.
Bringing his left hand to his chest he could feel the vibration of his I.S. core, La Calavera Catrina core, where his heart was supposed to be.
'Then again; you are my heart now, La Calavera Catrina. Thanks to that fateful day three months ago I am now the second male alive to be able to use an I.S.'
As he thought this Max couldn't help but lay down on the bed he was on and break out into a smile.
Looking towards the door Max's thoughts began to ponder onto his soon to be new roommate.
'So that was Ichika Orimura huh? Well, seems like a nice enough guy. But man, wonder how he felt being the only guy on thi-'
*sniff sniff*
"Is that perfume I smell?" Max questioned as he thought his mind was starting to play tricks on him.
"I mean, even if he was the only guy living on an island full of girls there is no way they would have actually let him dorm with one. No guys that…lucky…?"
Max's face faltered for a bit as he questioned the concept of 'Luck'
"…"
'But isn't the situation were both in rather lucky?'
Authors Notes:
Well I'm back. Don't know why I left. I got bored for some reason of doing my Bleach: Death 101 but I got bored again and thought it would be best to get back into it by using this idea I have had for around the same amount of time as Bleach: Death 101.
Considering Infinite Stratos didn't really have an overarching plot beyond being a harem anime with mech suits I thought it would be easy to insert a plot into it. For it I have used the time and trusted method to making something better. Don't even know why this hasn't been done before.
I mean that's what the I.S. was originally supposed to be use for and all.
That's the hint for where the story will end up.
And yeah I know. A second male I.S. pilot is. Gee, how "totally original"
...
..
.
-but who says it only needs to stop at two?
