Shattered Faith.
Pairing: LightXmisa one-sided, eventual LightXL
Rating: T for now, but subject to go up with later chapters.
Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note, I'm just pleasantly obsessed.
Full summary: Enter Light Yagami, a college student in Japan whose popularity is only overshadowed by his intelligence. He strives to take his father's place one day as the head of investigations department, but when his father dies suddenly in a string of brutal murders, Light must join a task force to bring down a seemingly untouchable killer - Kira. Light is more than willing to take on the job - that is, until he finds that the head of said task force is L Lawliet, a pale skinned outcast from his college that he's shunned ever since grade school. As his social life clashes with the importance of a murder case, will Light be able to somehow get along with the sweet loving insomniac, L? Or will Kira, striving to be god of the new world, get to the two of them first?
FA: wellllll then, lets get on with it now, shall we? Remember, this is shonen-ai, boy on boy love, don't like, don't read. Flames will be hysterically laughed at, and advice and reviews are much appreciated! Also, this is my first attempt at such an in depth fic, so….lets give this a shot!
Side note: When people in this story address Light, they will call him by his Japanese name, Raito, but in the story itself I will write him as Light.
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A downpour would've been more appropriate for the scene that was playing itself out in front of him. A downpour, like in the movies when a main character dies and the cold, bitter rain falls and mingles with the tears falling onto the cold ground, echoing the onlooker's mood and inner emotions. But this was not a movie. This was reality, and Light's father was being buried on a beautiful sunny day, and children could be heard playing happily in the park across the street. Children were laughing unknowingly, as his father, now gone, was being lowered into the cold earth. In his heart, Light wished he could jump in after him, save him from this harsh reality. But he couldn't. There was no escaping this tainted world. . . What was even more disturbing was that Light also could not bring himself to cry. His mother and sister, and even a few members of the police force that his father had worked with, were openly crying, and here he was, Shoichiro Yagami's son, and he couldn't shed a single tear for his fallen father. All he felt was rage, and the strongest desire to gain revenge for his father. He stood on the grave long after everyone else had left, a large array of thoughts splaying out before him in his head, thoughts of how he could extract revenge, how he could avenge his father's death…
The sky had by this time begun to turn a darkened grey, the sun slowly setting over the horizon, and a cool, gentle wind was blowing through the trees throughout the graveyard. The sounds of the children's laughter had disappeared with the setting sun, leaving Light alone in the oncoming darkness. He didn't mind in the slightest. There is a certain feeling you get when you've just lost someone important. It was a feeling of heavy remorse, mixed with anger and confusion as to why that person had to be taken in the first place. Why did death exist? Why must we lose those we love? These thoughts swarmed Light's mind, and he trembled slightly, but whether it was out of anger or sadness, he did not know. He was alone in his hatred now, alone in his disgust for the rotting reality of the world, and he kneeled, placing a hand on the grey tombstone. His eyes burned a raging crimson, and he looked into the grey rock as if he were looking into his father's eyes.
"Father…I will make them pay. For what they've done to you, to our family, they will pay."
With that, he saw no other reason to stay by the grave any longer. Sighing a heavy sigh, he stood, and with one last glance down at his father's grave, he turned, walking away into the darkness and back toward his home. His mother and sister would be waiting there, no doubt still grieving, and the least he could do was comfort them. Besides that, he still had school to attend in the morning, and the onslaught of questions that would no doubt be coming from his classmates…
What Light didn't realize, what he couldn't have possibly known, was that hidden behind a tree back at the gravesite, watching him walk away, were two charcoal black eyes peering at him curiously through the black night.
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Light awoke the next morning after getting only three hours of sleep. He'd come home last night to find his sister curled up on the couch, exhausted from crying, it seemed, and his mother sitting at the kitchen table, staring blankly at a cup of hot coffee, not touching the mug once, not even really seeing it. In his mind Light knew what she was really seeing was his father, and some unknown memories that only she knew, and so he left her in peace. He'd headed up to his room and laid in his bed without changing his clothes, while staring at the ceiling and wondering idly in his mind; what to do now?
He'd once wanted to succeed his father as the head of investigations department, but that dream hardly seemed likely now. The station would need to choose someone immediately, and since Light was still in college, he doubted that he could pull that off just yet. But he needed to do something…anything, really, that would help bring the criminal that had killed his father down. When he thought about it, they weren't even told much about the one who had killed his father, except that the murder was brutal and carried out because his father was working on a task force to catch this criminal. This was unusual to Light, since he had worked with his father's investigation team before to bring down criminals. It wasn't like them to be so cryptic with him about a case. It was going to bother him, he knew. It was going to haunt his mind for awhile…
He changed quickly for school after getting a cold shower to wake him up, then headed downstairs. His mother was no longer at the table, signaling that she was probably still in bed, but her coffee mug was still sitting there innocently, untouched, the liquid inside of it now cold. His sister was no longer on the couch, but he could hear movement coming from the downstairs bathroom, signaling that she, too, was readying herself for school. He grabbed an apple off the counter and then slung his bag over his shoulder, leaving the house without a word to anyone and heading to his university. 'well' he thought to himself bitterly, 'this should be one hell of an interesting day…'
When he arrived at the school, things were exactly as he thought they would be. Students kept their heads down as he passed, either out of respect for his loss or fear that he'd see the curiosity shining in their eyes. Others stood away from him, muttering to one another as he passed, and he caught several statements repeatedly such as 'wonder how he died' and 'doesn't look remorseful at all…' 'that's right' Light thought with a small amount of amusement 'I cant be remorseful. I'm to busy plotting my revenge on the bastard that killed him…'
The day, other than the fact that he was being constantly asked questions that he politely avoided, went by normally after that. His classes were a joke to him - he had the highest test scores of all his other classmates - and he frequently found himself thinking about how he was going to track down this killer that had killed his father. He was going to attempt to hack into his father's computer, which contained classified information on the case his father was working on. With his intelligence, Light mused, he would have absolutely no problem getting a hold of said files. He passed the rest of the school day by thinking of how he was going to relish the look in the killer's eyes as he extracted his revenge on him . . .
When the final bell rang, he gathered his things and pushed his way out into the crowd of students leaving for home. He picked his way neatly through the crowd, finally finding himself in the empty courtyard that he needed to cut across on his way home. Then, of course, he heard her.
"Raito-kun! Wait for Misa!" He visibly flinched. Misa Amane… She self-proclaimed herself as his girlfriend two months ago when she transferred here, and as a rising model, she declared that nobody else could be as well suited for him as she could be. He stiffened, rooting himself to the ground, and waited. Sure enough, two seconds later, The blonde had launched herself like a cat onto his back, hugging him tightly in a death grip. He winced and slowly lifted his arms, gently pulling her off of him. She walked around to face him, grinning up at him widely and wrapping her arms around his neck.
"Raito-kun, Misa missed you. I heard all about your father, you have to tell Misa everything! Misa will do whatever she can to make Raito-kun happy once again. Misa lives for Raito-kun." she nuzzled into his chest, and he had to take a deep breath to calm himself. It wasn't her fault, he told himself bitterly, She just wants to help, that's all. With that, he sighed in defeat and pulled her into a slow hug. The feelings in this relationship were purely one-sided, even by now, Misa surely knew that, but keeping her around was a sure-fire way to keep other girls at his school from annoying him, and up his popularity level just that much more, even know he'd had no issue with that in the past. Light hated to lose, and with Misa infatuated with him, he felt as though he was reaping personal gain.
"Look, Misa…" He began, and at the sound of his voice, the frail blonde immediately looked into his eyes and was silent. "I really don't want to talk about my father's death to anyone right now. It's to personal. But I will tell you that I appreciate your concern. It's nice to hear that you care, Misa." He smiled inwardly. These gentle words always captivated the girl, keeping her close. It was simple manipulation. Sure enough, her eyes widened just a fraction and she was hugging him tightly again, squealing in excitement.
"Misa will always care for you, Raito-kun, no matter what happens!" He had to smile slightly at this. 'Even if I murder someone to extract my revenge, Misa?' He thought. Sighing, he shoved her back gently. She looked up at him curiously, and he smiled at her, causing her to immediately swoon.
"I have to get home now, Misa. Go on home yourself and be careful ok? I'll see you tomorrow" She nodded to him, but didn't leave right away. She was staring at something behind him, a mixture of disgust and smugness on her face. He turned to see what was there, and smirked slightly when he did. Behind him, not ten feet away, stood a boy around his age, if not a bit older, with unruly black hair jutting out at odd angles from his head and dark, large owlish eyes. He stood hunched over just a bit, his hands stuffed in the pockets of his baggy blue jeans and his arms covered by an equally baggy white long sleeved shirt. His feet were bare, one over the other in an odd way, his shoes sticking out from his backpack that hung off his shoulder. His skin was a pale, almost white color, and he had his charcoal black eyes pinned to Light's face, watching him carefully. Ryuzaki. The outcast of his university. The outcast of Light's entire life, and the only one who matched him in his intelligence at this school. He'd shunned this boy ever since grade school. Why stop now?
"You know Ryuzaki, if you keep staring at my back like you were, people might get the wrong idea." Light said smoothly, with just a small hint of a challenge in his voice. It was as if he was calling to the other. I dare you. I dare you to answer back. He mentally scolded himself. His social life was getting in the way of what he needed to be doing right now…even so, he waited to see what the other's answer would be. The raven haired freak lifted his right hand to his mouth, chewing softly on his thumbnail as he silently studied Light from his ten foot distance. Finally, after a few moments, during which Misa had reattached herself to Light's arm, Ryuzaki opened his mouth.
"I recently heard news that your father, Shoichiro Yagami, was murdered by the killer he was investigating. I merely wanted to assess how you were handling the incident, seeing as you are his son." Ryuzaki waited then, watching the other with extreme patience, eyeing his every move, his every expression. Light growled to himself. This kid…was just to weird. What did it matter to him how he was handling the death of his father? What concern was it of his? He decided to voice this.
"I don't see why it should be any of your concern how I handle my own personal matters, Ryuzaki. As it is, I would've thought that by now you'd have realized that I am by no means your friend. Your concern is absolutely unnecessary." Another challenge, Light knew, because Ryuzaki never spoke to anyone about his motives or his personal feelings or past. A challenge. Why are you here? And Light knew that Ryuzaki as well hated to lose. The other boy flashed a look to Light that was one of anger and shock. Light smiled. Checkmate.
"I was merely acting on the observation that you seem more reserved to your thoughts today, Yagami-kun. Nothing more. Usually I would think that people tend to show remorse for their loved one's death. You seem to hold none, but instead seem determined about something. Could it be that Yagami-kun seeks revenge on the killer that murdered his father?" His voice remained smooth, but as he said this last part, his eyes flashed and locked with Light's. This wasn't a challenge. This was an understanding. A question that was held within those eyes… Light didn't take the bait. There was no way he'd admit anything to this…Light paused. An Idea formed in his head, and he slowly shifted his eyes to see how many people were around them right now. Quite a few, he noted, and all of their gazes were locked on his and Ryuzaki's confrontation. He smirked, and immediately, Ryuzaki froze, readying himself. This was something the raven haired boy was used to…
"Ryuzaki?! Do you mean to tell me that you've been watching me or something? That's just…You're a sick pervert, you know that?" Light's voice was loud and clear as he boomed these words across the courtyard, eliciting a loud squeal of mock horror from Misa and loud laughs and nasty comments from those watching them. Light smirked as the look of pure horror spread across Ryuzaki's face, and he bent his head down, hiding his eyes as he turned and stalked away, hands shoved deeply in his pockets. Misa of course called after him, wanting to add that extra claim on "her Light."
"Ryuzaki is so horrible! To think all this time he's been watching my Raito-kun behind his back… Pervert, pervert!" Light smiled and turned away. This was all amusing and such, but he did have work he had to attend to… He headed home after saying another quick goodbye to Misa, and waving to his still laughing classmates.
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Ryuzaki didn't lift his head up again until he was within the confines of his room in the large building that was being used for headquarters for a very important investigation. He booted up a laptop that was sitting on a desk, which was the only source of light in his room due to the thick blackout curtains that hung from the windows. He popped a strawberry into his mouth before opening a file saved onto his laptop. It was the school files of Light Yagami, and he stared at them blankly, chewing his strawberry quietly.
"Yagami Raito…You'd do anything to win, wouldn't you? Even resort to cruelty…But what's really going through your mind…Revenge? It's completely likely…" He paused and picked up another strawberry, eating it slowly. It was then that he heard a soft knock on his door, and he sighed. "Come in, Watari." he called, shutting his laptop defensively. An old man stepped through the door, carrying a tray with a kettle of tea, a small cup, and a bowl of sugar cubes. He set it down on the desk for the boy, who smiled gratefully. "Thank you, Watari." The older man rested a hand on his shoulder.
"L, did something happen today that you wish to speak about to the investigation team?" he asked gruffly. Ryuzaki looked up sharply.
"I told you, Watari, for now, I wish to be addressed as Ryuzaki. And…I've confirmed that I wish for Shoichiro Yagami's son Raito Yagami to join the team. Please tell Mr. Matsuda and Mr. Mogi that it will be their jobs to go to Yagami-kun's house tonight to inform him of this news. Also…." Ryuzaki paused to drop a few sugar cubes into his tea before taking a sip. "Make sure they do not tell him of my existence in this task force. Yagami-kun and I…Do not get along." he said the last part in a whisper, and his body shook violently. His fists clenched, shaking, and he lowered his head to his knees, easily done with the odd way he was sitting. His bare toes gripped the chair beneath him, and he inhaled a sharp breath. Watari slowly patted Ryuzaki's back, attempting to sooth him.
"I understand, Ryuzaki. I will tell them. Is there…anything else?" he asked, hoping to get the small boy to speak his feelings for once. As expected, however, Ryuzaki shook his head slowly, looking up at Watari with his blank black gaze. The older man nodded and turned, ready to leave the room. Ryuzaki, however, stopped him by asking a simple question.
"Am I a freak?" The words were so low it was barely audible, and it stopped the older man in his tracks. He turned and looked at Ryuzaki with soft eyes, smiling slightly.
"Not by any means, Ryuzaki. Instead, you are unique, and capable of solving cases that the world's top detectives could never solve." Watari gazed at the small black haired boy with an expression that clearly said that he was strong to what he had said. Ryuzaki sighed and turned back to his laptop, but didn't open it.
"Thank you, Watari, you may go inform Matsuda and Mogi now." he waved the other away, staring into his tea with a hidden, yet miserable expression. The door clicked, signaling that he was alone, and Ryuzaki slowly let out a choked sob. Sometimes, he thought, the loneliness and alienation can get to be to much…
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Light stared at his computer screen with a triumphant smile. He'd hacked successfully into his father's data within moments, a large number of files coming up before him. He stared at them with interest as he picked through the most recent ones. There were a large amount of folders that contained information on cases he'd worked with his father on, but he couldn't seem to find anything about the most recent of cases. Nothing on the murder that they'd been trying to take down. He searched through folders for a good hour, growing frustrated, and finally he stood, ready to give up, but as he went to close out of the files, something caught his eye.
"Kira investigation…? What's this…?" he double clicked the folder with interest, but as it opened, a small white box appeared. It needed a password. Light stared at the computer for a few tantalizing moments before slamming his fist down next to the keyboard. Why would there be an extra password? He growled, but then shook it off. If he could hack into the database, then there was no reason why he couldn't guess a simple password. He began his thought patterns, thinking to himself, but was cut off by a yell from his mother downstairs.
"Raito! There are men from your father's investigation team here to see you!" she sounded fearful, Light noted, as he clicked off the monitor on his computer and padded down the steps, curiosity and excitement evident on his features. This…this could be promising. He stopped at the foot of the stairs, staring at the two men in front of him with recognition.
"Mogi-san, Matsuda-san!" he acknowledged the two with a smile, and they smiled back at him. They'd worked together on cases along with Light's father. It was easy to be comfortable around the two of them. He did, however, note the distinct stance that they both held, showing clearly that they were here for work, here on business… Light cleared his throat and stepped forward. "What can I do for the both of you?" he asked. It was the tone that came with knowing that he was now the head of the household, now that his father was gone. There was a moment of silence, and then Mogi stepped forward, placing a hand on Light's shoulder.
"I know that you understand the importance of the case that your father was working on, Raito-kun." He said in a low tone. Light looked up, expectant, eyes flashing. He nodded for the other to please, continue. "Recently, the head of our task force…that is, the task force that your father and the rest of us put together, decided that you should join the investigation. He learned of your intelligence, and your previous work on cases. He decided it would be doing you a great justice by letting you help catch Kira,"
Light stood frozen for awhile. Kira…the same name that had appeared in his father's hidden files. So it was him… Whoever was in charge of this task force, whoever had sent Mogi and Matsuda after him was giving him a chance to avenge his father. He stared at the two in a moment of disbelief, before regaining his composure and smiling a crooked smile. If the files on Kira were so well protected that they needed their own protective passwords and codes to break into, then this case had to be big. Light suddenly had an image in his head, a strong image, and growing stronger by the second. It was of him, standing over a dead Kira, his father's death avenged, a terrible killer in this tainted world taken out by his own hands… It was a chance that no one who strived to win in life would pass up.
"Mr. Matsuda, Mr. Mogi, I accept this offer from the head of your task force. When will you expect me to come in and meet him?" Light spoke with clear surety, and he heard his mother give a terrified sigh from behind him. Light couldn't worry about her right now. This was his chance. This was what he needed to do. For his father's sake…
"The head of our task force wishes for you to join us tomorrow night, after you're done school. He also asks that you, unlike your father, will remain at the task force's special building specifically designed to house those who are working to catch Kira. If you choose to accept this, you will need to bring a bag of clothes and necessities, and your room will be set up for you immediately. Is that what you want, Raito-kun?" Mogi looked at him, and then back at Light's mother, who was shaking her head helplessly behind them. His little sister Sayu was staring at them from the entrance to the living room in disbelief. She spoke up before Light could open his mouth.
"Onii-chan, dad just left us, you know that don't you? Mom can't take another loss in this family, Raito!" she glared at him in anger, but he didn't rise to her bait. Instead, he turned to his mother and hugged her tightly, whispering to her.
"Mom…This is what I need to do…I'll never feel right about myself if I don't. Please understand this. I need to catch Kira, whoever he is." He moved back, and noticed with a small frown that she was crying, He wiped the tears away softly, and then turned back to the two detectives without another word. "I will accept the offer to stay within the task force's facilities as well. Please thank the head of your force for me, and tell him that I'm quite looking forward to meeting him." his mother turned and walked into the kitchen, his sister following wordlessly to comfort her, and Mogi and Matsuda exchanged a small look, both with small smirks on their faces.
"Of course Raito-kun. I'm sure you and Ry-that is, the head of our task force, will get along just fine." Matsuda said, smiling widely. Light nodded, and the they said their goodbye's for the time being. After comforting his mother and explaining to her exactly why this was so important, he retreated back up to his room to pack a bag, not worrying any longer about hacking into the Kira case files. He would find out everything he needed to know tomorrow after school. The incident earlier in the day with Ryuzaki was now all but forgotten, and Light slid into bed after making sure he had packed everything he would need. After thinking for a good hour or so about how good it would feel to catch Kira, he slowly fell into a deep sleep.
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A/N: wow, that chapter was frikkin long. Sorry there wasn't a lot of L in this chapter, and nope no one at his school knows his real name! Light was a bit mean in this chapter to poor L, but the romance will come soon. I have a feeling im gonna get yelled at for being mean to L -hugs her L plushie-… ANYWAYS I plan on updating this fairly frequently over the next month or so, but please, tell me what you think of it. Review and tell me what you think! Also, I /do/ take requests on ideas of what to put into future chapters, because I find them to be so much fun to add in!
