FINAL FANTASY VII

A SPECIAL SERIES FOR FEBRUARY! A SPECIAL SERIES FOR FEBRUARY!

'A Countdown To Embarrassment'

"And then... Cloud and young Nanaki defeated Gi Nattak, and all was well!", Bugenhagen explained.

"What a wonderful story! Thank you so much for telling it to us, Bugenhagen."

"Ho ho hooo!", he laughed. "Don't mention it!"

The people of Cosmo Canyon had gathered together to listen to one of Bugenhagen's exciting tales. He had just told them of the time Cloud and the others went into the Sealed Cave of the canyon. Everyone, especially the children, were impressed.

"Pee-ew!", exclaimed a young boy. "What reaks?!"

"Eikmo! What have I told you about using such tasteless words?!", shouted the boys mother.

"He he!", giggled a little girl. "That smell is Bugenhagen! He always smells funny!"

"Sephie!", the girls father yelled. "I'm sorry Bugenhagen. My daughter, she is not usually this rude!"

"Uh... it is quite alright.", Bugenhagen replied nervously. "To be honest, I haven't had time to wash lately. You see, my shower needs fixing and..."

"Aw, you don't have a place to bathe?", asked one of the townspeople. "If you want, you are welcome to use my bathroom. My wife, she is away for few days. What she don't know, don't hurt her!"

"Thank you very much, Elder!", said Bugenhagen. "If you'll excuse me!"

Bugenhagen floated over to Elder's apartment inside the canyon. He made his way into the bathroom, removed his clothes, and took a shower.

"Ah! Hmmm, oh yes! Yes! That is good! Ho ho hooo!", he moaned in pleasure under the hot tap. "Oh, is good!"

Upon finishing, the old man got out and looked around the bathroom. His clothes had gone.

"Ho ho hooo?", he wondered. "Where are my clothes?!"

Suddenly, he realised the door was open, and there were dirty footprints on the ground. Someone had come in and stolen his clothes. He slowly floated out of the room, looking down the corridor as he emerged, completely naked.

"I have to get a spare pair of clothing from my observatory! Oh my, it's an awful long way up!", he thought. "I'll never make it without being seen!"

He carefully floated down the corridor. Amazingly, he made it to the end. He could now see outside, where the townspeople were still sitting around the Cosmo Bonfire.

"I have to get past them!", he mumbled to himself.

Bugenhagen floated past the fire, and up the steps towards his observatory. He climbed up and up, and then gave a sigh of relief as he entered his home.

"Ah! I did it! Ho ho hooo!"

"Grandfather?!", exclaimed a voice.

"Nanaki!", yelled Bugenhagen.

He gasped in horror as he realised Cloud, Aeris, Tifa and Red XIII were hangin' out in his living room.

"I... I...", stuttered the old man.

Red XIII didn't know which way to look. He swung his flammable tail around in shock and it brushed against Aeris's dress. The ancient caught alight immediately and burst into black ash.

"Oh my God! They killed Aeris!", screamed Tifa.

"That wasn't really necessary, was it?", wondered Cloud.

"That's gonna leave a stain on the carpet!", grumbled Bugenhagen.

"Grandpa! For the love of God! Put some damn clothes on!", shrieked Red XIII.

THE END__________