"Oh, come on get it get it get it GET IT! Ah, damn it."

"Hah. La-ho-gan owes me five bucks now. I told you you were gonna lose the bet."

"Oh come on, it was a fair shot, how did I know they were going to miss, itʼs all in mathematics and probability anyway, no like you would understand. And if youʼre going to insult me, please use the correct enunciation of my name!"

"Iʼm going to pretend I know what every word of that meant while you find five dollars."

Watching James and Logan fight was always amusing, I thought. I scanned the room while they continued to bicker. Mom was in the kitchen, making Katie a sandwich. Carlos was watching James and Logan fight intently. And I...well I was just watching Logan. The way he got all flustered when he was arguing. It was only hockey, and James was right, Loganʼs favorite team never won, but none of that exactly mattered; all I wanted to see was Logan get a little worked up. Was this so wrong? Yes. Heʼs my best friend...why have I started to have feelings and...thoughts about him? Itʼs wrong. Besides heʼs dating Camille and would never-

My thoughts were abruptly stopped as I felt someone slam into my shoulder.

"James!" I yelled. A chorus of, "He pushed me" and "No, I didnʼt"ʼs followed.

"Fine. Hereʼs your stupid money. Go buy some manspray or something with it. Right now, I have to go meet Camille..." Logan said as he threw the money at James, who abruptly picked up the crumpled bill and kissed it.

"Ha. Thank you, Logie." He chimed in. James could be an ass, but he was always just messing around. I turned around to say bye to Logan, but he was already out the door. Logan and Camille had dated and broken up...and dated and broken up again. They were way too on and off again, but apparently Logan "liked the chase" whatever that meant. There have been many late night conversations about their relationship...just me and Logan alone in our room, before bed. I felt as if I really connected with him...even if we were talking about his girlfriend. Heʼd confessed many times that he didnʼt know if the relationship was right, or that he had fears of commitment, but I always had to chime in and tell him it would all be alright.

"Kendall...what if once we fall in love, we realize that weʼre in love with someone else..."

Logan asked, his brown eyes shining despite the lights that were turned off.

"I...I donʼt know, Logie. I guess thatʼs just a risk we have to take. Love is

complicated...itʼs an uncharted place where you have to follow your heart and not your

brain, which might be hard for you." I chuckled .

"Ha..yeah youʼre right. Thanks, man. I donʼt know what Iʼd do without you." Logan

looked at me sincerely with those damn eyes. Why did they have to be so beautiful?

"No problem." I responded, and with a smile on my face, I fell asleep...

Blah blah blah. Why canʼt I get my happy ending? Why canʼt I-

"KENDALL!" once again, brought out of my thoughts by something obnoxious.

"Yes, Carlos?" I responded.

"I was asking you what even happened with you and Jo, but you were completely zoned out...Are you still upset about her or..."

Jo. He wanted to know what happened with Jo. Of course. Itʼs been three weeks since we broke up, and I hadnʼt told anyone why. What was I supposed to say? "Oh, Iʼm sort of in love with Logan so I had to break up with her." Yeah. Like that would be taken lightly. Anyway, back to Jo. Three weeks ago, I started feeling off around her...like we were two puzzle pieces that people were jamming together because they wanted them to fit so much...

"Kendall? Kendall. ." Jo yelled.

"Oh, huh? Sorry. What?"

"Are you alright...you seem kind of moody today?"

"Of course Iʼm fucking alright, why wouldnʼt I be? Do I look alright?"

"Oh...of course you do...I was just wondering...never mind..." she reached over to grab

my hand.

Jo was sweet. Friendly. Just not for me. She kind of had a V where I wanted to see a P.

I felt bad for snapping at her, but we were at the pool, right across from Logan and

Camille happily sitting intertwined on a poolchair...Of course I was in a fucking bad

mood. Who wouldnʼt be?

"Iʼm sorry..." I said. I had to do it...Was now the right time?

"Jo. I donʼt want to be with you anymore. I canʼt hold your hand. I canʼt kiss you. Thereʼs

someone else, and no other way to tell you this. Be pissed off, I really donʼt care. But

at ;east Iʼm not cheating on you." I snapped. Yeah, so I was still a little bitter that I

caught her kissing Jett that one time...

"K-Kendall...Iʼm sorry...Did I do someth...ing?" she choked out. Great she was fucking

crying. I donʼt get girls...too emotional.

"No. Itʼs me. I said there was someone else...just leave..." I said, turning my back to her.

Well, as anyone would have, she left. I havenʼt heard from her since. Yeah, I was a

douchebag. I get it. But love makes you do strange things...

"Carlos, for the last time, nothing happened. We just didnʼt work out, okay? I couldnʼt be happier about it..." I mumbled.

"Ohhhkay then..." Carlos stated awkwardly. "James and I are going down to the pool. You in?" he asked.

"No. Iʼm tired...I think Iʼll just go take a nap...or something..." I stood up shaking my head and slowly walking to my bedroom.

"Man, whatʼs up his ass..."

"I donʼt know, James...I still say itʼs Jo, but...Hey, you ready for the pool?"

The voices faded away as they left the apartment. There was a knock on my door. Damn it what did they want now?

"Kendall? Sweetie? Weʼre going to the store...weʼll be back later, okay?"

"K, Mom..." I mumbled. Finally. I was alone.

Everyone was right, I was being bitchy lately. Well excuse me for having all these feelings stored up inside of me...I sighed as I flopped down on Loganʼs bed. His bed was always perfectly made, unlike mine. I reached up to grab his pillow. Ugh how was his smell so intoxicating? It even lingered on his pillow. I lay down dace down on his bed. Hmm...I could get comfortable here. One day heʼll be inviting me in, I thought to myself. In bed with Logan...damn Iʼve thought about this many times. Just never while actually in his bed...Then my fantasies started running through my head...I lifted my hips up as I snaked my hand down to the button of my pants. Ugh get these damn things off...I could feel the pressure building up. Ah, much better...I quickly shoved my hand in my boxers trying to relieve my boner as quickly as possible What can I say; I like it rough. Quickly pumping myself I started saying Loganʼs name repeatedly...Ugh if only this were his hand. I started thrusting into my hand quickly as I felt that familiar feeling in my stomach. Almost there. Shit this is so wrong. Iʼm in Loganʼs BED, what the fuck is wrong with me? Wow, but it feels so right...

"Logan..." I mutter as I bite his pillow. Stream after stream of cum now soaking my pants. Iʼm a dumb ass. Why didnʼt I take off my pants? Oh well. I still lay there, coming down from my high...imaging what it would be like after sex, just lying in bed and holding him. The thought of being in that close physical contact was enough to make me cum again. Almost. I know how to restrain myself. Sort of.

I didnʼt know how long I was laying there, but I knew when someone opened the front door that it was time to move my ass from Loganʼs bed. I quickly ran to the bathroom to change clothes and try to rid any evidence of what I was doing, then I heard someone enter our room. Shit. It was Logan.

Five minutes later, when I was finally clean, I walked out.

"Hey, so...how was your date with Camille?" I asked, nervous laughter sneaking itʼs way into my speech. Great Kendall. Real fucking great. Can you look anymore like a dumbass? Then I decided to actually look at Logan. He has this lopsided grin on his face...Slightly blushing. God, I just wanted to touch him. He looked to fuckable...I mean touchable. Yeah.

"It was great. We had fun." he simply said. You donʼt look like that from just a "great" "fun" date.

"Oh, come on, you can tell me." I sat down next to him.

"I just...I just really like her. Kendall, I think I might be in love...PLEASE donʼt tell the others, Kendall. Can this be our secret? Youʼre the only person I trust enough to tell this..." he was so damn adorable when he was nervous...

"Of course Logan. Your secretʼs safe with me." I tried to smile, and I guess it worked when he smiled back.

"Hey, uh why is my pillow over here. I didnʼt put it there, did I? And itʼs wet..." Logan mentioned. Shit. The pillow.

"Oh, uh I took a nap...and uh accidentally grabbed your pillow, you see and uh yeah I drool. Horribly. Yeah. Thatʼs what happened. Here, Iʼll wash it for you!" I jerked the pillow out of his hands before he could respond and quickly walked out of the room to the washing machine.

Shit. That was fucking brilliant. Oh well, he didnʼt follow me...so he must not be suspicious. Wait, but if he did follow me that could have lead to other things...like sex on top of a washing machine. Hmm. I like that idea. Shit...now Iʼm starting to get hard again. Do I ever win?