AN hello! It's february the month of love and i am (as impossible as this may sound!) single so im gonna focus on Josh/Donna and try to write something every day until Valentine's Day- whether it's an update on a series/story I've already started or just something like this (this one is for Feb 1st even tho it's being posted on the 2nd, I'll do two today!). Anyways I just rewatched Somebody's Going To Emergency, Somebody's Going To Jail and I've always had a tingle in my heart for Sam/Donna friendship and well this idea sprouted in my brain
Josh got in the passenger seat of Toby's Pontiac and I squeezed into the back. Toby and Josh were talking animatedly about the WTO- well, as animated as Toby gets. Josh is in a goofy mood tonight. He's making jokes about cartographers and how C.J. is going to come in with a brand new education plan tomorrow, focused entirely on geography. He has teased me about sea turtles. Which by the way, was a perfectly pleasant meeting and Josh will be hearing from me and my index cards tomorrow about our oceanic conservation efforts. He's purposefully pestering Toby about this protesting stuff. He's made a couple jokes about someone throwing a banana peel at him, likening it to Roslyn. What worries me is I can't tell if he's genuinely being light-hearted about it or if it brought him to a bad place and feels silly about it, given that it was a banana.
My heart feels a little like it's being pulled in two directions at the moment. I'm worried about Josh. I'm worried about Sam. I've been worrying over Josh for almost three years now. Obviously, that worry was cranked up when he was shot last year. And even more so over Christmas. But that worry is such a constant for me, such a norm, that it doesn't rattle me.
Worrying about Sam rattles me. Sam is dependable! Sam is fun! Sam is optimistic! Sam is quirky! Sam has become a very close friend of mine. He's in a lot of pain right now. But I'm glad he has Josh and Toby. Their brotherhood is truly something to be grateful for.
Josh is quite good at reading other people. I mean, woman with romantic interests in him? Terrible at reading. But other people, he can usually read them pretty well. That's part of what makes him such a good politician. It also makes him a good friend. He's good at judging what you need in the moment. Sometimes he's too busy living in his own head or rounding up trouble as Hurricane Josh but when his friends really need him, he's there. I won't go into the psychological reasons behind that instinct, his need to save everyone because of his guilt. That would take too long.
Then there's Toby. He's gruff and doesn't say a whole lot but when he does, it matters. When Josh is being an ass, Toby is the first one to check in on me. I think Toby has a soft spot for me though. I'm one of the very few people he'll share his pie with.
I must have been lost in thought because I hadn't noticed that we'd parked at the bar and Josh was holding the door open for me.
"Donna?" Josh snaps me out of my reverie, his eyebrows scrunched up.
"Whoops." I shrug and get out of the car. He puts his hand on my lower back and we catch up to Toby. I'm watching Josh out of my periphery. I can see the tension in his shoulders, he's blinking quicker than usual. Yup, my suspicions are confirmed. Before we get to Toby, I speak up.
"Josh, are you okay?" His smiles drops for a second before he puts it back on, glancing down at me.
"Just a headache." He's waited to say this until we're in earshot of Toby so that I won't challenge him on this. That's alright, I have a plan.
Toby holds the door open for Josh and I. Once we get our coats off and hung up, Josh and Toby start over to the bar but I stop them.
"Wait, I'll go get the drinks. You guys go get a table." Josh looks at me suspiciously but Toby just shrugs and heads off for a table, asking for whiskey soda. "Your card for the tab?" I raise my eyebrow.
"You know what I want?" He asks, handing it over. See, everything with Josh and I is subtext. Right now he's saying Donna get me a beer. And I'm about to say we'll just see about that.
"Of course." I skip over to the bar, not before catching him rolling his eyes. Hmph. Be that way, Joshua.
I order a whiskey soda for Toby (significantly more whiskey than soda), an IPA for Sam, a Tequila and tonic for me, and a non-alcoholic ginger beer for Josh. The kind that looks completely inconspicuous. A nice man next to me at the bar offers to help me take the drinks over to our table. I accept because I'm not an idiot. And he's handsome. And bound to make Josh jealous.
"So what do you do Donna?" Rick asks me as we head over to the table.
"I work at The White House. What about you?" I smile at him. I've also just noticed that Josh has noticed us.
"I'm a chiropractor. So you like Bartlet then?" His expression changed a little. Ugh. How do I always manage to get the republicans?
"President Bartlet is a good man. Yes, I like him."
"I mean, sure, if you like being taxed to death." We're close to the table now. I push down my annoyance.
"That's not really how that works…" I explain quietly, ready to thank him and have him be on his way.
"What? You're a socialist?" He asks. Well, Josh heard that. So did Toby. Toby's eyes narrowed. Josh's eyebrows shot up.
"Yeah, that's our Donnatella." Josh stands and takes the drinks from him and slinging an arm over my shoulders. "She carries around a mini Marxist manifesto everywhere she goes. You can stick around if you want- to hear her read it. It's quite something." I roll my eyes at him but smile anyways.
"Uh, that's alright." He waves uncertainly, like he can't figure out what went wrong there. He walks away with a bewildered expression. Josh slides into the booth and I slide in next to him.
"Donna, you were gone for five minutes and you managed to pick up a Republican?" Josh joked.
"He was chiropractor, Josh. Think about all the massages I could have gotten!" I say wistfully, although there wasn't a chance in hell I'd be interested in that asshole.
"Are you injured somehow? Because I don't think a chiropractor and a masseuse are the same thing." Josh replies.
"Eh, talented hands are talented hands." I smirk at him. He rolls his eyes and goes to take a big sip of his "beer"- he looks at me accusingly as he tastes it.
"When did you say Sam was coming?" Toby interrupts our silent conversation.
"He said he was going to meet us here. I think he went to call his dad." Josh responds. We're all quiet for a minute, lost to our concern for our friend. Josh goes to take a sip of his drink and that brings me out of it. I reach in purse and discretely pull out two ibuprofen and one of his anxiety pills.
"Josh, here." I hand him the pills. Josh and Toby both look at me with questions in their eyes. "They're ibuprofen." Josh looks down at the two small red pills and the one medium pink one. I see the gears turning in his head as he realizes I know. "For your headache." I supply for Toby's benefit.
Josh takes the pills just as Sam walks in. He looks like someone poured ice water over him. I don't know if it's better or worse than before. Toby waves him over. As Sam sits down, I jump a little. Josh just put his hand on my leg, giving me a little squeeze. I look over at him but he's talking to Sam now, avoiding our silent conversation we would be having. I try to ignore my heart beating rapidly as he lazily grazes his thumb in a circular motion on my thigh, throwing myself into the conversation as best I can.
A while later, Josh notices we've all finished our drinks.
"Alright, Donna and I are gonna go grab another round. What do you want?" Josh asks them.
"Another whiskey soda."
"Gin and tonic." Sam answers. Sam isn't usually a hard liquor kind of guy but given the circumstances, it's understandable. I mean, I'll cut him off hard liquor next round probably but why not let the boys have their fun?
Josh and I slide out the booth and we weave our way through the crowd to the bar. This place has gotten significantly more full than when we first arrived. I walk in front of Josh and his hand slides from my back to my hip, keeping us close. He's very tactile tonight. Not that I mind. Josh signals Nick, the bartender, and Nick gives us the sign for one minute.
"Josh-" I was going to ask him how he's doing but he interrupts me, knowing damn well what I was going to say.
"How was Steph?" Josh asks.
"She's… she's good. Sam… he worried me for a second." I look down, twisting my hands. I felt lost as to what to do in that moment. For starters, we were in The White House. I didn't want to cause a scene. Secondly, you don't handle Sam the way you would Josh. Josh needs someone to get in his face, call him out, prove to him that you're living and breathing and loving. Sam needs soft words and a sense of loyalty. Even though Sam and I have become good friends, I'm not as close to him as Josh is. When he was freaked out about Steph's grandfather, when he was going to tell her the truth, he kind of scared me for a minute.
"What'd he say?" Josh says gently. I look up at him and the day kind of comes crashing down on me. It's been hard to watch Sam go through this. It was hard to see Steph today. It's hard to watch Josh joke through his pain. "Donna, don't cry." He whines a little bit which actually makes me smile. I think he knew it would. It's nice to have some semblance of normalcy right now.
"Sorry. Long day." I wipe at my eyes and he throws his arm around me. I lean into him more than I usually would dare to.
"Yeah." he sighs. "Donna, I'm… Thank you."
"You okay now?" I ask him, listening to his breathing.
"Yeah. It was just a banana-"
"Josh." I pull away and fix him with a look.
"Yeah… the adrenaline thing happened. But I was able to breathe through it on the way back to the White House. Toby just read. I think he knew I needed a minute."
"Okay…" the bartender has come over to us. I give him the order and then turn back to Josh. He has his thinking face on but I can't tell what he's thinking about. Which worries me for obvious reasons. "What's wrong?" I ask. He looks down at me and smiles for a second.
"Nothing… Donna, come over tonight?" He's looking me in the eyes, his meaning clear. He pushes my hair back. I'm pretty sure my eyes are saucers.
"Josh… last time you…"
"I know what I said." He looks away now. I can see him getting defensive. "I just don't care anymore." He's leaned forward on the bar now, removing his arm from around me. I rub his back a little.
"We can't sleep together every time you're not feeling safe." I say quietly, as kindly as possible. His eyes snap over at me, an accusation in them. "I'm not blaming you. It's me too. But… I don't think it's good for you." I let my thumb trace his frown lines briefly.
The first time something happened it was the night before Josh was supposed to go back to work. It happened again on Christmas Eve. Both times we've agreed it can't happen anymore.
"I'm not- I didn't mean- Donna. I'm not using you."
"I know, Josh. Let's go get Sam drunk, take him home, then I'll come over." He smirks for a second, thinking he's about to get some. "To watch a movie. Not to… that. But I'll be there if you have a nightmare." His expression darkens for a second but the bartender has placed the drinks in front of us. "C'mon. Let's go help, Sam."
"Donna, thank you, by the way. You're- yeah, thanks." He mumbles. He turns away before he can see the huge smile that I just can't help. He might be bad at saying it but I'm great at reading him. He means it. It makes resisting him physically worth it. And that's a pretty high price.
Later that night, he'll kiss me softly before retreating to his room and I'll wear that smile to bed in his guest room.
