A gift inspired by one of my Tumblr fans.


"Remember boys, double check that no one trespasses onto my forest or takes my pages. It is vital you complete your duty above a satisfactory standard, understand?" Slender asked, sitting behind his desk.

Toby, Masky and Hoodie saluted him. "We won't let you down, master." Masky said and led the group out of Slender's office. Masky grabbed the door knob but banged his head against the wood by pushing instead of pulling. Toby and Hoodie laughed at his mistake and Masky fled the scene.

Slender waited for a while, making sure they had left. He chuckled, took out a key, and unlocked a cabinet door. "Fools." His finger traced over his small selection of drugs, and took out some LSD. Even though he nearly ran out of his highs, that didn't mean he couldn't enjoy himself! Being in charge of wild drunk gorillas was a tiring job. He opened his mouth and chugged down three tablets.

He waited for an hour for the results to kick in. The room was rocking back and forth and swirling, he leaned back and let out a giggle. The door to his office opened and Barney the Dinosaur smiled at him. "Hello, friend!"

Slender gave a limp wave, sinking further into his chair. Barney's head kept growing in size and twisting. "How are you, friend?" Barney's voice sounded like a high-pitched robot.

"Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnne. Tehee, woohoo." Slender could hear the dubstep wubs in the background, and lights surround the room. Behind Barney, Brad Pitt was having a seizure and Nicholas Cage was hitting him with a bat. "Hey, you're one crazy purple guy, know where I can get more, heh, treats?" Slender's tongue rolled out.

Barney smiled lovingly, and spoke to with such smoothness to rival Bob Ross. "You can steal some prescription drugs from a pharmacy."

"Mmm, but I ain't got a face."

"Then take some from a human."

"Yeeeeeaaahhhh." Slender watched Hatsune Miku try to deep throat her leek down Cage.

Barney turned around. "Goodbye, friend." With that space aliens abducted Barney with a green beam. Slender watched the fight between Cage and Miku- this was going to be some long hours.

Once his daily drug trip had ended, he went downstairs to mingle with the apes and cavemen known as Creepypastas. Jeff and Ben were thrusting their hips to a Vine song, the Jacks were arguing who the one true Jack was while both held bottles of Jack. Jane was rocking in the corner planning her revenge on Jeff accompanied by rubbing her hands together and twiddling her non-existent moustache. Clockwork was screaming with such a noise that could bring a fortress down.

The two nudists, Rake and Bob, were the only normal ones, minding their own business. These idiots wouldn't disturb him in his office- but his proxies might. Slender picked up the phone and dialled Masky's personal mobile device. "Hello, you've reached man-whore services, we squeeze and suck."

Slender paused. "… Masky? Hoodie- Toby?"

There was silence on the other end, he could hear a faint, panicked scream. "U-uh, hiya, master! What can we do for you?"

"I need you to stay out of my office for tonight because…um, I've got… you presents in there and it would be tragedy if you found out."

"Okay, master! We'll stay out of your office. Masky out!"

Slender smirked to himself as he sat the phone down. "Perfect. Those ass fiddles will never catch onto my drug raid." Slender laughed, walking upstairs to his office. "And enough time for me to wank off."

After having fun with his tentacles, Slender stood at the outline of the forest. He watched several humans enter and leave the drug store, but none were the right human. He had to wait for his drug senses to tingle. Aside from the waiting, he was extra happy this night, thanks to treating himself to a small dose of cocaine. Sweet, sweet, sugary cocaine. His attention was caught from a lovely lady leaving the store- target acquired.

Slender sprang into action, following her from the safety of the trees. All she had to do was cross the road. She did. He shot out his tentacles around her body and mouth, dragging her into the darkness. Slender dived for the white bag, searching its contents- a small container labelled Anafranil. Slender shrugged and looked down at the woman. He surrounded her mind with static, making her nose bleed before she passed out. He dumped her on the street and teleported to his office.

Slender chuckled and chugged down some tablets. There was a knock on his door, and Slender shoved the container in the cabinet and sat down. "C-come in." He was worried when his brothers burst through the door.

"Surprise!" Splendorman squealed. Slender had a bad feeling. Trender sat down, then Offender with his legs wide open and Splendor sat in the middle. "How have you been, Slendy?!"

"F-fine, what about you?" Slender regretted saying that because Splendor broke into a story about his day. Slender sighed, listening to Splendy blabber on about his day. Slender yawned and instantly got rock hard- he felt ready to climax.

What.

Slender inhaled deeply, biting his lip, trying to hold it in. Offender had a massive smirk. Slender dug his fingers into his thighs as he became overwhelmed with an earth-shaking orgasm. Splendor trailed off when Slender rocked back and forth screaming, "OH FUCK YES!" Slender fell out of his chair, his legs trembled and there was a huge stain on his trousers. He let out a giant, wall-breaking moan.

His brothers stared at him in shock, their mouths hung open.

Trender frowned and said the cursed words. "We need to talk."