Disclaimer: the song belongs to Taylor Swift, J.K. Rowling owns the rest.


Speak Now

I am not the kind of girl

Who should be rudely barging in

On a white veil occasion

But you are not the kind of boy

Who should be marrying the wrong girl

First of all, I, Audrey Smith, do not live to ruin weddings but, since this is a special occasion, I think ruining just one wedding won't make any difference.

I bet you are thinking "why anyone would want to ruin a wedding?" ¡Because that whore named Penelope Clearwater is trying to steal my man! And I know Percy (yes, Percy Weasley) and I broke up 2 months ago but I am sure he can't possibly love her ¡or fall in love with her in just 2 months when they never really loved each other when we were at Hogwarts!

I sneak in and see your friends

And her snotty little family

All dressed in pastel

And she is yelling at a bridesmaid

Somewhere back inside a room

Wearing a gown shaped like a pastry

I am behind the bushes of the Burrow (he's getting married there) trying so hard not to laugh because all her family, and I mean all her family, are dressed in pastel ¡even men are dressed in that color, for Merlin's sake!

Once I'm sure I won't laugh, I sit up and then I hear her.

"WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?! YOU MEAN YOU LOST MY EARRINGS?! YOU ARE THE WORST BRIDESMAID I HAVE HAD THE DISPLEASURE TO MEET!"

I couldn't find her but then I saw her at the back of the room. I don't know who is the bridesmaid she was shouting at but I had to sit down again to prevent myself from laughing after I saw her dress ¡she looked like a human wedding cake!

I know Percy enough to know this is not what he wanted.

This is

Surely not what you thought it would be

I lose myself in a daydream

Where I stand and say

Don't say yes, run away now

I'll meet you when you're out

Of the church at the back door

Don't wait or say a single vow

You need to hear me out

And they said "speak now"

I try to calm myself thinking of what I'm about to do. I imagine myself saying 'I object!' and then telling Percy he can't say yes, telling him he can't say his vows and then telling him to run away with me.

Fond gestures are exchanged

And the organ starts to play

A song that sounds like a death march

I see their families are starting to come out of the house and are going into the tent, so I decide to wait until they enter to go near it. That's when I hear the pianist already started to play the wedding march, or at least that's what I think it is but I only hear a funeral-type song.

And I am hiding in the curtains

It seems that I was uninvited

By your lovely bride-to-be

I hide behind the curtains of the tent because I obviously didn't get an invitation. It seems that the slut queen knew I was going to ruin her pastel-colored perfect wedding.

She floats down the aisle

Like a pageant queen

But I know you wish it was me

You wish it was me (Don't ya?)

I see her walking down the aisle beside her father but, seriously, does she has to walk like a bitchy supermodel? Now I'm more convinced than ever that this is not what Percy wanted.

I see Percy waiting at the altar and, just as I expected, his face doesn't show any emotion, wait, I think his eyes are a little sad, I know they're sad because he was wishing it would be me who walked down the aisle, or I hope that's the reason why he's sad.

Don't say yes, run away now

I'll meet you when you're out

Of the church at the back door

Don't wait or say a single vow

You need to hear me out

And they said "speak now"

Don't say yes, run away now

I'll meet you when you're out

Of the church at the back door

Don't wait or say a single vow

Your time is running out

And they said, "speak now"

Oh Oh Oh! (say a single vow...)

I hear the preacher say

"Speak now or forever hold your peace"

There's the silence, there's my last chance

I stand up with shaking hands

All eyes on me

I don't pay much attention to anything until I hear the preacher say "Speak now or forever hold your peace" and nobody says anything, there's my last chance.

I come out from behind the curtains and shout "I object!"

Horrified looks from

Everyone in the room

But I'm only looking at you

I swear it, if I wasn't a Gryffindor when I was at Hogwarts, the looks everyone (except Percy) gave me would have been enough to make me run away and forget everything, so I turned to look at Percy and only at him.

I am not the kind of girl

Who should be rudely barging in

On a white veil occasion

But you are not the kind of boy

Who should be marrying the wrong girl

So don't say yes, run away now

I'll meet you when you're out

Of the church at the back door

Don't wait or say a single vow

You need to hear me out

And they said, "speak now"

"Look Percy, you know perfectly well that I am not the type of girl who would be ruining a wedding but you are not the type of boy who would be marrying a girl you know you don't love. And I know we broke up two months ago but you can't say yes to a girl like Penelope!"

And you say
Let's run away now
I'll meet you when I'm out
Of my tux at the back door

Baby, I didn't say my vows
So glad you were around when they said "speak now"

I wait for him to kick me out of here (by now, I've lost all the confidence I had) but he just runs at me, grabs my hand and takes me out of the tent and into the house.

"Audrey, I'm so happy you saved me from that. I don't know what I was thinking when I proposed to Penelope, I think I felt pressured because my brothers were getting married. And you're right, I don't love her. I love you, I have always loved you."

I think ruining a wedding is fun after all, especially when I'm the one who gets the boy.


This is my first fic in English & I don't know how many mistakes I have so PLEASE tell me if I had any.

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