Henry McCord couldn't help the small smile that tugged at his lips as he strode through the airport. He was finally home after an extended deployment and he couldn't wait to get back to his wife, Elizabeth. Better yet, his wife had no idea that he was back in the States as he wasn't due back from his deployment for another 2 weeks. Yet, 3 days ago he'd unexpectedly been called into his superior's office and informed that, not only was the end of his deployment being brought forward and he was on the next flight home, but his leave was being extended to a month. After the challenges of the latest deployment he felt like he'd won the lottery!
As he got into the taxi that would take him home, he started to think of ways he could best surprise his wife. It would be early afternoon by the time he arrived at their apartment and Elizabeth would still be at work. He toyed with the idea of heading into Langley with a bunch of flowers to surprise her and taking her out for a romantic dinner afterwards, but then he remembered it was unlikely he would get past security at Langley. Then an idea popped into his head. He would recreate the last night they had together before he headed off for his latest deployment. He'd make her favourite meal and put on her favourite Peter Frampton record before challenging her to a game of strip Scrabble, that he was sure he would lose, but would no doubt lead to other 'activities' which he was sure they would both 'win' at if he had anything to do with it.
Pulling up in front of their small home, he paid the driver and heaved his duffle bag out of the car, before finding the spare key they kept buried under the plant pot near their front door and letting himself into the house. As he took his first step over the threshold he smelled the unique scent of their home and a wave of relief and peace washed over him. It was finally over, for now at least. He had a whole month to spend with the love of his life and he couldn't wait. His peaceful reprieve abruptly ended though as he closed the door and surveyed the living room, dropping his duffle bag in shock as he did so. The house was an absolute mess! His wife was messy, true, but this was a whole new level!
He started walking though the house noting the bags of old take out on the counter and dishes in the sink in the kitchen, the floors that looked like they hadn't been cleaned in weeks, the piles of laundry in the laundry room, and the drying laundry that seems to be airing all over the house. What on earth had gotten into Elizabeth? Even as a student she hadn't been this messy. Is this how she lived when he wasn't around? Annoyance started streaming through his veins as he realised he would have to clean the entire house before he could start dinner. So much for a romantic evening! He's be lucky if he could get the house clean before Elizabeth came home from work, let alone start dinner. As he strode into his bedroom a small figure in his bed made him stop dead in his tracks.
Elizabeth.
Despite his annoyance, a wave of love and affection for his wife crashed over him and his heart felt alive for the first time in months. She looked so small curled up under the duvet, and if her pale skin and the dark circles under her eyes were any indication, it looked like his wife was sick. That would explain why the house was such a mess and why she'd been living on take out for the past few days. A small smile appeared on his face as his wife started to snore softly and the urge to have her wrapped up in his arms, to be connected to her again, overcame him.
Quietly, he stripped off his fatigues and crawled under the covers next to her, carefully taking her into his arms. As he stared down at her he memorised her features yet again, noting the slight, mesmerising, changes that had occurred in the time he had been gone. Gratitude washed over him that Elizabeth was in his life. He didn't know how he'd survive life in the military if it wasn't for her. She was his beacon of light in what were often the darkest of situations. He softly stroked her cheek and couldn't help but place a gentle kiss on her forehead as he gave thanks to the universe for bringing Elizabeth into his life. He tensed and a small wave of guilt washed over him as he felt Elizabeth start to stir in his arms.
Elizabeth didn't know what had disturbed her from her sleep, but as soon as her senses started to awaken, she realised that something was very wrong. There was someone in her bed with her! Panic and adrenaline consumed her and she immediately sat up as she started to fight against whoever was in her bed.
"Get away from me!" she cried still half asleep "Get out!"
"Elizabeth! Stop! It's just me! It's Henry" Henry called out gently as he defended himself against Elizabeth's blows, all too late realising that as far as Elizabeth was concerned there shouldn't be anyone in their bed for another 2 weeks.
"Henry?" Elizabeth stated in disbelief as her eyes suddenly focused on the human in front of her and her ears recognised the voice she hadn't heard for 9 months. "Wh….what are you doing here?" she asked in confusion.
Henry didn't have time to answer before the sound of a tiny wail reached his ears, the sound getting louder with each second. He looked over at his wife and saw an expression he had never seen on her face before. There was frustration and fear, love and relief, panic and guilt.
"Elizabeth?" he asked in confusion as the crying continued.
Elizabeth sighed as she got out of bed and walked the few steps to the crib against the wall, her heart pounding in her chest and her stomach clenched with nerves. She had been keeping this secret from Henry for 9 months, and she still thought she had a couple more weeks to figure out how she was going to tell her husband about their surprise baby, but it looked like she couldn't keep her secret anymore more.
"Shhh, baby" she soothed softly as she picked up the tiny baby from the bassinet. "Mummy's here, everything's ok, I promise" she continued as she held the infant close to her, the cries settling to a whimper almost immediately.
Henry stared at his wife in disbelief as she picked up a small bundle of blankets from the crib against the far wall that he had not noticed before. "Mummy?" he whispered in Elizabeth's direction.
Elizabeth closed her eyes and took a deep breath as she turned to face her husband.
"I…I didn't know how to tell you" she whispered with regret and guilt as she settled herself on the bed once again, tears welling up in her eyes and slipping down her cheeks as she did so. "I wanted to tell you straight away, I really did, but I didn't know how you'd react. I know we didn't plan on having a baby right now, but I knew, I knew, from the moment I saw the positive pregnancy test that I was keeping the baby. Then I thought it would be best to wait until I knew the baby was ok, you know? If I was going to upend our life then I had better make sure the baby was healthy first. Then once I knew she was ok I had this fear that if I told you, you would be so mad and distracted that you wouldn't be paying attention and that you'd crash your plane and…and…." Elizabeth took a deep breath at the thought of losing her husband. "But then I told myself it was ok, because you were only being deployed for 6 months so we could talk about it when you got home and there was still time if you wanted to… I don't know… there would still be time for you to make a decision, but then your leave got cancelled and your deployment got extended and I just couldn't tell you. I was so scared that you'd… that you wouldn't make it home and it would be all my fault because I would have been the cause of your distraction."
Henry's mind was in a spiral as he listened to his wife's ramble, his mind barely able to process what she was saying.
"She?" he asked in confusion.
Elizabeth swallowed thickly as she manoeuvred the baby in her arms before finally taking a deep breath.
"Henry, this is our daughter".
Henry stared in awe at the tiny person in his wife's arms, his breath hitching as a wave of love so strong it literally took the air out of his lungs, washed over him. He had thought falling in love with Elizabeth had been life changing, but that was nothing compared to what he felt for this little girl - his daughter. He knew in an instant he would do anything for her and would fight to the death to protect her. He held out his arms and Elizabeth carefully transferred the small bundle into them. Tears filled his eyes as he looked into his daughter's eyes for the first time – the bluest of blue just like her mother's. He couldn't help the tears that fell as his daughter looked at him curiously and her tiny hand grabbed his finger and he gasped in a breath.
Elizabeth's heart melted as she got to see her husband falling in love with their daughter, a feeling she herself had felt only 3 short days ago, but she had to be sure this was what he wanted.
"Are you mad?" she asked in a timid voice.
"That you didn't tell me you were pregnant? Yes" he replied as he glanced at his wife, hurt evident in his eyes "But about our daughter? No" he replied in the gentlest of voices. "We've always planned on having at least 2 kids, maybe 3, it just happened earlier than we planned. Everything happens for a reason"
"All thanks to the pill company…." Elizabeth mumbled in annoyance as she interrupted her husband, causing Henry to glance up her curiously. "I received a letter the day after you left notifying me of a product recall of the pill I was on, something about the hormone balance being incorrect. I got a new prescription the same day but by then it was too late evidently".
"She's the furthest thing from a mistake, Elizabeth" Henry replied in a stern tone "She's a part of our plan, we just didn't know it. She's absolutely perfect" he replied, his words full of love.
"She is" Elizabeth agreed with a soft smile as she snuggled closer to her husband and gently stroked her daughter cheek. "Only 3 days old and I still can't believe we made her" she stated in awe.
"I'm sorry I wasn't here for you when you were pregnant. I'm sorry I wasn't here for her birth" Henry replied remorsefully, overcome with guilt. His wife had made an entire human being whilst he was away and he'd had not idea. He hadn't been there to help her with morning sickness, or to clean the house, or to rub her back when it hurt. He felt like such a failure.
"Don't be Henry" Elizabeth replied forcefully. "There's nothing you could have done even if you had known I was pregnant. You were serving our country and we're both so proud of you for that. Here…" Elizabeth stated as she pulled something out of the drawer of her bedside cabinet "I kept a diary for you of my whole pregnancy, of everything I was feeling and going through. I thought it might help you when you found out about the pregnancy" Elizabeth stated nervously as she bit her bottom lip.
Henry looked between the thick diary and his daughter, unsure of how to balance both items.
"Give her to me" Elizabeth requested softly "She's getting fidgety and that normally means it's time for a feed"
"Oh, right" Henry replied awkwardly, suddenly realising he knew nothing about his daughter.
Reluctantly Henry handed his daughter back to his wife, even though it pained him to do so. Of all the things he thought he would be returning home to, a new baby was not one of them. It suddenly become imperative that he know everything he could about his daughter and he started flicking through the diary. He read accounts of the day Elizabeth found out she was pregnant, her first day of morning sickness, stories of her scans, weekly pictures of her bump, her struggles with daily tasks, how she'd been eating spicy foods for days to try and bring on her labour, her angst and pain of not telling him she was pregnant, and her fear of what might happen to him if she did. As he read about the day she was admitted to the hospital to give birth he was overcome with shock and confusion.
"You were alone?" he asked incredulously as his head whipped round to look at his wife. As he did so he was met with the sight of Elizabeth breastfeeding their daughter and he was overcome with awe at the vision of his wife breastfeeding their child beside him. He had seen Elizabeth's breasts thousands of times, but seeing them nurture their child made him appreciate his wife and her breasts on a whole new level.
Elizabeth took a deep breath and garnered all her courage for what she was about to tell her husband. Whilst she knew telling him she was pregnant and a father was going to be hard, she knew what she had to tell him next was also difficult.
"Yes" she replied simply.
"But I'm sure my mum would have loved to her been with you, even if your Aunt Joan didn't want to. You didn't have to be alone, Elizabeth" Henry stated in a bewildered tone. His mother was very maternal, and despite his family's reservations about Elizabeth, he knew his mother would have been there for Elizabeth.
"Um….they…er…they don't know" Elizabeth replied guiltily, shame coating her features.
"What?" he demanded harshly, not sure he was understanding what Elizabeth was saying.
Elizabeth peeked guiltily at her husband, remorse and regret flooding through her veins, before returning her attention to her daughter. "I couldn't risk you finding out and I knew if I told your family they wouldn't be able to keep it a secret. And as for my family, well, you know how my Aunt and Uncle are about children and Will is off overseas and barely calls….so, um, nobody knows about her"
"Nobody?" Henry enquired in disbelief, not quite sure how his wife had managed to keep such a big secret for so long.
"Well, I obviously had to tell work as I wasn't allowed on any missions whilst I was pregnant, but apart from work, nobody knows about her".
Henry stared at his wife in incredulously before anger at the situation bubbled over and he got out of bed and started pacing the room.
"How could you? Do you know how this is going to look to my family? They already think you're a rich snob, and forgetting to tell them about their first grandchild is not going to help that! Do you really think they're that bad? You know family is everything to them! Not telling me is one thing, and having read your diary I can maybe understand why you didn't, but depriving my family of their grandchild when their son is away at war…." he yelled.
"Henry, keep your voice down! You're scaring the baby" Elizabeth hissed as she soothed her daughter simultaneously.
Guilt at having upset his daughter cooled his temper and he stopped pacing and turned to look at his wife. "Well?"
Elizabeth took a moment to move the baby onto her shoulder so she could start winding her, grateful for the few moments reprieve before she had to answer Henry's questions.
"I was scared ok! The whole time I was pregnant I just kept thinking about what happened to my parents and what could happen to you. I just didn't want you to find out and get hurt, ok! I wasn't trying to hurt your family, I just didn't know how to tell them and I'm sorry about that. I just wanted you home, Henry! I just wanted….."
"Hey, it's ok" Henry comforted as he sat down next to his wife and took her into his arms as she started to cry. He was starting to realise just how afraid she was of him dying and was overcome with guilt.
"Damn hormones!" Elizabeth replied irritably.
Wanting to do something to help his wife and relieve the pressure she was feeling he held out his arms. "Here, give….." And then it suddenly struck him that he didn't know a very key piece of information about his daughter.
"Wait, what's her name?" Henry asked as Elizabeth passed their daughter to him. He settled himself next to his wife in their bed and gently rested his daughter on his shoulder before starting the winding process.
"I haven't named her yet" Elizabeth hiccupped as she furiously swiped at the tears falling from her eyes. "I thought that as I had kept the pregnancy a secret, it was only fair that you name her".
"Oh, Elizabeth…" Henry breathed as Elizabeth cried into his other shoulder and wrapped herself around him as best she could.
"Please Henry? Please do this for me. I feel so guilty for not having told you or your family and I know it's going to turn into a big thing when they find out. Please name her so I can feel a little less guilty. Please?"
Henry swallowed thickly. "Elizabeth, this is something we need to do together…"
"No!" Elizabeth sobbed against his shoulder. "This part is all you, Henry. Please" she all but pleaded.
Henry sighed, overcome with the weight of responsibility of coming up with a name that his daughter would have for the rest of her life. Names of people he had known, both good and bad, flittered though his head. He thought of his fellow Marines that hadn't made it back and considered naming his child in memory of one them, but then wondered how he would cope calling that name out for the rest of his life. And then a thought popped into his head.
"How about Stephanie" he asked tentatively.
"Stephanie?" Elizabeth enquired as she peeked up from her husband's shoulder and into his lap where he was now holding their daughter as he gently rubbed her back to wind her.
"Yes. Stephanie, after Stephen Hawking" Henry replied nervously.
A gentle smile graced Elizabeth's features. "You want to name our daughter after one of my favourite physicists?" Trust Henry to be so considerate when coming up for a name for their daughter.
"Not just because of Stephen Hawking" Henry insisted. "I've always really liked the name and naming our daughter after one of the greatest minds in all time can't be a bad thing, right?"
Elizabeth chuckled. "I guess you're right. Stephanie. Stephanie McCord. It does have a nice ring to it".
"We could call her Stevie for short" Henry continued in a hopeful tone, just as his daughter let out an almighty burp causing her parents to laugh. "You like that name, huh?"
"I think she's too milk drunk to comment on anything right now" Elizabeth replied ruefully.
"But seriously, you like it?" Henry asked earnestly as he moved his now sleeping daughter to rest on his chest.
Elizabeth looked down at her daughter and suddenly couldn't think of any other name more suitable than Stephanie McCord. "It's perfect" she whispered as she lent in and kissed her husband for the first time in months, butterflies fluttering in her stomach as she did so. "And you're happy, about Stephanie?" she asked hesitantly as she pulled away slightly breathless.
Henry looked down at his sleeping daughter and realised then that he was a father, that he and Elizabeth created the wonder who was sleeping on his chest. He thought of all the horror he had witnessed over the past few years in the Middle East and how innocent Stephanie looked as she slept peacefully. In that instant his life took on a new meaning. Things would never be the same again, but somehow he knew their little surprise baby was going to be the best thing that had ever happened to Elizabeth and he.
"She's the perfect homecoming surprise…."
So its been a while since I posted anything, but this story popped into my head during the week and wouldn't leave me alone. I had some free time today so I wrote it, I hope you enjoyed it!
