Title: Love me-Hold me, Touch me-Kiss me.
Rating: PG-13
Pairings: Jakotsu/Bankotsu
Note: This is set before Jakotsu dies. Like the night before. oO Haven't seen the episodes around it but I'm saying it's the night before. Hope that's alright! Uhm in First POV because I know more about Bank than Jak I think and it's funner to write it that way! 3's ENJOY!
It's odd. Really odd. How brisk the wind is tonight, how cold and distant the stars seem, and the damp... as if a warning is being shot at me. I'll worry about anything right now; I've lost so many of the ones I led, all because of him. That half demon Inuyasha.
Oh how the name makes my skin crawl, makes me grit my teeth and embed my fingers deep into that moist, damp ground splayed with beautiful strands of grass; lush and green, smooth to the touch. Yet still it does not calm me, nor do the stars I come to seldomly watch along this hill, set right outside the forest into grass plain save for one lone tree that towered over all as its long, twisting branches reached for a sky it would never be able to touch. How small I felt under it, like a boy that stood by a man.
shhh, shhh, shhh. The wind is picking up again, tossling loose strands of hair about carelessly infront of my face. Something I quickly find bothersome for I constantly keep picking up the hand rested near Banryuu to brush them aside. Maybe that's why I failed to hear it the first time. Shh, shh, shh.
I don't miss it the second time as the sounds of someone approaching reach my ear causing my eyes to narrow. Who could that be? No one could possibly know where I went--
"Ha, I found you Oo-aniki!" The voice greeted my ears in a high, pippy tone while a hand fell solidly on my shoulder, shaking me a little as weight was pressed on it. Leaning forward as the last bit of words licked my ear. Jakotsu. The realization of the name earned a small smile; I felt it pulling at my lips, determined to stay fit even as I turned to look at Jakotsu who still remained rooted behind me. A little too close but it was something I had gotten used to over the years.
"Man I looked everywhere, you're hard to find ya know!" He spoke in as if he had been looking for years and yet the smile still remained as he made himself comfortable. Not even asking me if it was alright to plop down a little off to the side but still behind me. That was just Jakotsu. "And mean 'ol Renkotsu wouldn't tell me a thing! Can you believe him?"
My smile grows at that. It sounded just like him, to be like that to Jakotsu, though he really hadn't known where I had gone. No use telling Jakotsu that though; once he had something set in his mind there was no use changing it. I try to speak then, to greet the other but I find him beating me to it for he's leaning forward, propping his elbows along the insides of his knees while resting his chin along the backs of his hands, peering at me like some kid who was waiting to be told a story.
"Anyway, what have you been doing? Don't tell me you've been sitting here all night watching some stars?" I chuckle at that, trying to keep merry. The mentioning of stars makes it harder though; it just reminds me of why I did come there...
"Yeah, actually I have. It's just nice to get away and think, y'know?" By now my smile as faded a little and I find myself looking up again while listening for Jakotsu's answer.
"Well I'd like to be looking for Inuyasha! It's been so long since I've seen him-- I wonder if he thinks about me too?" The thought alone seemed to get Jakotsu giddy, causing me to look back down at him with a rather odd look. One that was mixed with a slight stir of anger-- not for Jakotsu but Inuyasha-- and another mixed with a 'what the heck?' Just as he looked at me, a dreamy like sigh escaped him and all. Enough to make my stomach churn... something I wished was more out of the weird statements than what it really might have been. After all the feeling had never been there before, and Jakotsu had done this, but never had he been so obsessed with one thing. One person. It agitated me a little for some reason. "--What do you think? Oo-aniki, Oo-anikiii?"
A blink and the next thing I know I see a hand being ran back and forth in front of my face. I curl my nose a little and lean back, coming out of my slightly dazed state to look at the other with a blink. "What do I think..?" Thankfully I had caught the last part.. unfourtunatly it wasn't enough to know what he wanted me to answer.
"Yeah, what do you think about Inuyasha, isn't he dreamy?" I feel it again, that irksome feeling that makes my stomach tighten as well as my chest. An emotion I can't place, an emotion I can barely hide with a raised eyebrow and a distant expression.
"No, he's someone I wanna kill why would I think he'd be 'dreamy' ya weirdo!" My tone came off sharper than I had wanted it too as well as the look on my face. Jakotsu sure noticed for he blinked, lips pursed together in that 'o' formation as if he couldn't believe it. That only lasted a second though before he waved a hand through the air, sighing.
"Wow, touchyyy, touchyy!" I had looked away when he said that, frowning. That was until I felt arms being slung about me, curling up close to my neck, pulling me to the side into Jakotsu who had obviously moved, now trying to look at me from the side. "What's wrong Oo-aniki? You've been acting strange all night?" Those words were enough to bite at me, make me want to explain myself and apologize right there because I knew. Always knew that Jakotsu had been there for me when ever I needed him; was the one I could turn to and trust the most out of everyone else that had joined the Shichinin-tai.
"It's this job..." My body had relaxed into Jakotsu now, my voice ringing soft as I kept my gaze onto something else. It was easier to explain that way, without seeing how Jakotsu took it. "It's about Naraku and Inuyasha. What if we kill Inuyasha, what will Naraku do then? From what I've heard... seen... Naraku isn't going to let us live on with these shards. They're important, powerful..." I felt foolish then for I knew we had no other choice, had the feeling that we would all be dead again, soon, back in that dark cold place that I could never forget.
Never would I forget that cold vice that had wrapped about me, that darkness that plagued everything when the memories of the last battle hadn't been present. Etched in cold and lonelyness. Death, enternal rest being nothing but that, alone forever without anyone to turn to, to hold you, touch you, make you feel better. That thought alone was enough to scare me, and the fact that the other members had already been placed there made me shudder.
"We'll just kill him after we slice Inuyasha to little pieces!" That cheerful voice rung out to me then, pulling me out of what I had once known. It made me realize that I was resting fully against Jakotsu now with my cheek pressed to his chest, head slightly tilted back to listen as he spoke to me. "And then there will be nothing to worry about! We can live like this forever, right Oo-aniki?" He was looking down at me now, smiling as those eyes sought my own and locked them together.
"Right.." It got me to smile a little at least and I sighed, closing my eyes away from those dark orbs. Just relaxing into this warm feeling I got wrapped in those arms that kept me to his chest. Something I welcomed now for my hand had been lifted, placed along his chest while fingers curled gently to grip the cloth right by my face.
"Jakotsu.." I found myself saying the others name without a thought on what to say to him. Or maybe I did know.. just.. wasn't away of it yet.
"Yeah?"
"Don't leave me alright?" My grip had tightened a little on the material to his yukata, tugging it gently as if that would keep him from moving or leaving at all. Childish, but that was all I really was right? Behind anything and everything it was all I could really be.
"I won't as long as you don't." I heard him promise and yet still I didn't smile. I couldn't. Words weren't enough to smash that feeling as another cold wind blew, ripping and tearing at my back as if saying it was going to take Jakotsu away right then. I gripped him tighter after that, my eyes winching shut though I didn't expect what came from it. Warmth that turned to something cool that ran down my cheeks. Tears? No, no I couldn't be crying, not over such a silly feeling!
I must have been though for I felt those arms shifting and soon felt fingers curling along my face, scooping up my chin and tilting my head back to I could look up at the taller man with glistening eyes. "Bankotsu-- oh Bankotsu don't cry. I'm not leaving, I'm right here."
But you will be... My thoughts frightened me so. What could they mean.. or was I simply being foolish again?
"Not right now though.. I just.. see you and then I don't." My voice rang in a frightened manner, like a child did when something threatened it. Like the stories of the boogie man, or something that they imagined themselves in the middle of the night.
"Ssh, ssh, it's going to be ok Oo-aniki, just don't think like that." Jakotsu's voice sounded closer than it had been. Yes definatly closer yet I still didn't open my eyes. It didn't bother me. No, nothing about Jakotsu bothered me. Whisps of warm, moist breath to fall along by my lips. A shakily breath to come when the feeling of something hovering right before my face came, a shudder when something warm and smooth brushed along my lips, and then..
Warm. Nothing but warm to encase my body as the light grace turned into a warm, moist pressure. Not a bad pressure, something that filled my body with a tingling feeling, caused me to shiver the slightest bit as my own lips gave way, letting my mouth drop open a bit.
It's only then that I realize you're kissing me and still I do nothing about it. I can't. It feels to good, to overwhelmingly good to do anything at all besides make a noise, feel the heat flood to my cheeks and give in as arms hugged me closer to a body that I always wanted to be held close to. How wonderful it felt to have that granted. Does it feel wonderful for you too, that I'm pulling closer instead of pulling back? That I'm slowly starting to respond, tilting my head to your ways and becomming vurnable for you? Does it.. feel nice to you like it does to me?
Can't think. Can only relish in this time. Here and now under a tree that sat on a lone hill that allowed viewers to get a tad bit closer to a star lit sky in the dead of night. A night that has long since past. A night I remember so clearly that it seemed I had been there the whole time when really I was left to stare at that hair clip that sat like a cold weight in my hand while I grip Banryuu with the other, keeping it perched on my shoulder.
That wind is blowing again now, my head bowed in greif as I should have known. Should have known it that night. The last night I ever saw you, felt your hands exploring, felt your mouth on mine, and your body pressed close.
Oh Jakotsu.. did you know? Did you know that I loved you, would have let you do anything that night even without saying it. Saying those three words that probably were so simple to you. Jakotsu.. did you know?
I'm crying now, I feel the tears streaming from my eyes, running down my cheeks in rivers, curling under my chin to drip off into the unknown as I stare past that clip.
"I loved you.." I realize I'm speaking out to no one but I don't care. My feelings have become bitter, torn with anger and sadness as that one cold empty feeling snatches me again. That same feeling I always felt when I had died. I realize why now. Because you weren't there. Weren't there at all.
"Renkotsu... you'll pay for this." I hear the hiss, the dead tone in my voice while I pick my head up and stare with a stone cold gaze towards a blotched sky. The sunset behind me, a slowly fading sky that would soon turn pitch black, dotted with stars, before me. The end. It's the end and I find myself walking towards it.
