I

Hell: Noodle

Day 607

Alone. I guess that is the best way I could describe being in hell.. Its not like the books say; fire and smoke… Sort of like living in a volcano.. No.. It was much different.. Much different. I couldn't possibly explain what hell is like. To see smoke or even fire would be comforting. There's nothing in hell. Nothing to see.. Nothing to hear.. Nothing. I might as well be walking with my eyes closed.. There's no point anyway… There's never a point anymore. Everything is black. Only the cold rush of air is felt every now and than.. Sometimes I see a light.. And I used to try to follow it.. I used to try to escape.. But I failed every time. I am not fast enough to reach it.. And I lose my energy trying… So, I don't try anymore.. I just don't try… I've come to the fact that I will never see them again.. My friends, my family, my home.. Gone.. I will never see the things I used to think were pointless…Now.. I realize what they say is true. You don't know what you have till its gone.. I do miss them very much…I miss helping Russel with his taxidermy… I miss making fun of Murdoc in his underwear.. and I just simply miss 2d.. There is so much I want to tell him… I wish I could tell him.. My head always goes back to our moments… I want to relive those moments over and over in my head.

….But there is no point in thinking about them anymore… I will be gone by tonight. I decided I was going to do it.. I have convinced myself… The flashlight should be going out by tonight.. I am going to keep my promise.. Once the flashlight is out, it's over.. I won't be able to write.. And this is so far the only reason I have worth living.. This should be my last entry… Maybe someone else, who is stuck in this hell and has more ambition than I do, will find this journal and read of my journeys…Maybe they can find their way out.. If they can, forever will my soul be free…. This is my ending.

Goodbye. Forever will my story go on

Noodle

I love you 2d… Forever and beyond.

Noodle closed her journal and placed it in her bag. She put the down the slowly dimming flashlight. Before she had jumped off the island, she had grabbed her bag and through whatever she could find that was in the windmill.. She remembers the things she grabbed as clear as the day the attack occurred.. 4 flashlights- which were supposed to be for the rest of the band but it didn't matter than, she probably would be dead by now without them. She was on her last right now- some old food bars and bottles of water, batteries, few candles, her journal (she always kept it) and the flick knife 2d had left from the previous rehearsal.. He probably missed that knife.. But it was one of the only things she had to remember him. She used his knife often… She had used it not just to cut her hair though… What do you expect though? She have been living on her own for more than 2 years in the middle of nowhere. She guessed she was lucky that her body could live on so little, being an ex military project.. But sometimes she wished she wasn't sometimes. She could have been dead already. She was planning to die tonight. She had been planning it for some time.

"I am sorry.." She whispered out loud.. "I never meant to do any harm.. I didn't wanted this.. But I have to do it.." Noodle pulled out the flick knife from her bag. She looked at the knife, her face mirrored in the blade. She was shocked. She had not seen her self in a long time.. Her face was pale and sunken, but the her beauty was still somewhat evident. Her green eyes were ringed with dark, restless circles. Her hair was choppy and layered, shorter than is was in El Mañana. She touched her cold face in a mixture of awe and horror. She glanced at her arm. The scars that used to be there were gone. Many of times she tried to cut to die, but her remarkable military enhanced body prevented such a thing. She knew she would have to have a deep wound to have any actual visual scar, and to die would have to be a direct hit to the heart… She began to cry, her body shaking in anger and disappointment.. The flashback of the day went through her brain like a spear. "We will get you Noodle! WE WILL GET YOU!" The band screamed. 2d was pressed up on the window, his face twisted by horror.

"Why didn't you!? Why am I to die?!" Her screaming voice echoed in her hell. Her sobs softened as time progressed. She wiped her tears on the back of her hand. "You must be strong Noodle… You shouldn't die ashamed.. You shouldn't die with regret.. If there was anything right to the information and things that Mr. Kyuzo programmed into you, than that would be it.." Noodle stood up, the knife clenched in her hand. The flashlight began to flicker slowly. Her time was almost up.. She rose the knife up to her chest, readying herself for the pain she would soon feel. The flashlight flickered a few last times before burning out. She closed her eyes.

"Goodbye." Noodle went to go stab her heart when suddenly a hand grabbed her wrist right before she could do any damage. She felt knife removed out of her hand. She opened her eyes. She could not seen anything though.

"You can't say goodbye if you have not said hello yet, Noodle.." said the deep voice. It was laced with a heavy British accent.. Had she known this voice before? It all seemed so familiar to her, but yet she felt so far away from it. She turned around to the sound of the voice. Her eyes adjusted to the figure behind her. It was Murdoc. She lip quivered and tears streamed down her face.

"'Ello Noodle.." He pulled the young girl to him, hugging her tightly. "I told you I would find you"

Noodle was shocked. Was she hallucinating? This wasn't real…Right? Why was her mind torturing her?

"Your…Your not here? How could you be here? Why do… Why do I keep believing your going to save me! You can't… You can't save me.." She was banged her fist on Murdoc's chest. He lost his breath from the sudden strikes on his chest.

"Noodle-cup, your making me lose my breath love."

Noodle looked up at Murdoc. "You're.. actually here..? This is not a dream.." Noodle started to cry harder into the bassist's shirt. "I can't believe you here.. I thought.. I thought you forgot about me… I thought you stopped trying…" Murdoc hugged her tighter.

"Noodle, we never forgot about you. We have been searching for over a year.. We would never had stopped… Let's go home Noodle.. There is no need to stay here. You have been here long enough." Murdoc picked up the young, weak girl and put her on his back..

Its good to be going home… Noodle fell asleep on his back. The band was together again.. She would see the face of 2d again. She had so much to tell him, and she wasn't going to let anything get in the way…

Noodle woke up later. She looked at her soundings, she was in her room. Had it all just been a very long nightmare? Had she dreamt of hell and Murdoc returning to save her? No, she couldn't have had? It felt so real… She could feel the pain… Murdoc opened Noodle's door gently.

"Oh, you're awake. I thought you were still asleep, I came in here to bring Mike in, he's been worried about you. He hasn't been the same since the accident.." The little monkey ran through the door and jumped up on Noodle's bed and gave a hug.

" I wasn't dreaming… I really was in hell…" She said to herself.

" Yea, you were… For a long time really…" He got quiet, processing his thoughts so they would be gentle. "…Noodle why were you trying to kill yourself? Did you really think Gorillaz forgot all about you?"

Noodle was quite. She stared down at her bed spread…God was it nice to be in a bed again…

"Yes… I did…It was over two years since I was gone… 607 days to be exact… I counted…I didn't think I had any more of a reason to live. The last of the flashlights and batteries were gone… I had no contact with anyone much less the band. What did you expect? For me to be wearing makeup and a little pink outfit! No! I ha-haven't seen you in m-more than a, a year and… I don't even have the sl-slightest idea where 2d and Russel are." Her voice was uneven and hiccupping from her trying to resist crying.

"Love," He hugged her. "We could never forget our Noodle… Russ and face-ache are in the big ol' US. 2d went completely nuts after the incident… He looked from you all the time, non stop. Russ too! But Russ thought we all needed a break and collect facts and info, I agreed. But 2d, no that dullard kept looking. He made 'imself go into a complete mental break down… I haven't talked to him since though… Last thing I heard about him was that he was with some girl, uhh Brit I believe… Trying to get over wot happened… Russel said he wasn't doing too well though. Russ is in New York. We decided to take turns looking for ya, yeah?"

"2...2d is with someone?" Noodles face dropped.

"Yea. Think so. Unless they broke up but like I said, haven't talked to him since…" He noticed Noodle's face. "Aww…No… Noodle… You got feelings for 'im don't ya…" Noodle didn't answer.

"How'd I even know.. I knew it was gonna happen.. Love, he thinks of you like a sister… I don't mean to have to be the one to break it to you, but your not in his league… He's what? 10, 11 years older then you? You only became legal for that 2 years ago.."

"3 years ago…" Noodle didn't want to hear this, even though she knew it was true. What was she thinking! Ha! Having a chance with 2d? Pathetic… She fooled herself with lies to make her believe such a silly little thing…

"Whatever. Not the point… Look you are Noodle! Lead guitarist of the most famous band, Gorillaz! And you have just returned!" He got up and put his hand on his hip and stuck out his arm, wrist limp-trying to act like a girl. Anything to cheer her up. "You can go into bars, meet a guy," He blew a kiss, Noodle tried to conceal her giggles. "And you will say 'Hey good-looking… I would tell you my name but, you already know what is it, don't ya, love…" He stopped his silly acting once Noodle began to laugh. "Don't tell anyone I did that for you… Or Satan help me, would you be in trouble.." He smiled. And ruffled the young guitarist's hair. "Listen love, once you get back to your health, I am going to show you the world you have missed.. I'm gonna bring you to bars, get you to drink, smoke. Whatever. Maybe even a tattoo. Eh? Sounds nice? Russel and 2d wouldn't be able to reach Kong for some time… Depending if I can get in reach with em. So let's relive this year ya lost… Your 19 now, you need a life. You gotta experience the wonders! HerHer… And some other stuff to if ya know what I mean.." He nudged Noodle with his elbow which she returned with a push and a 'shut up muds..'

"Ha ha! There's the good Noodle girl I know! By the time 2d comes back, you will have a boyfriend and forget completely about your feelings you once had for him, yeah? Well imma let you sleep, you need your rest. I'll wake you when delivery arrives.." He walked over to the door. "Oh and love.."

"Hm?"

"It's good to have ya back…" He closed the door gently. Noodle pulled out her journal from her bag and began to write.