Title: Valentine's Day
By: Nodakskip
Email: Nodakskip@aol.com
Beta: By Theo
Rating: mild R for adult themes.
Summary: The title kind of says it all.
Author's Notes: I am writing this off of a story Charisma Carpenter spoke of in an interview for ABC Family. I just thought it would make a good short fic. Also, as it has been said before, it is a little weird that Cordelia would be made an outcast for dating Xander rather then Xander being raised up in the popularity food chain. So, the entire shunning Cordy thing? It never happened; neither did the fluke, also no IRS thing. Consider this an AU after mid season two.
----
Beverly Hills, California
February 14th, 2009, 1:30 PM
Madam Reese's Exotics
The 28-year-old Cordelia Chase-Harris flipped through the racks of costumes, with a growing sense of annoyance. "Damn it, none of these are any good, Harm!" she told her best friend, as the brunette re-hung the item back on the rack.
"Oh, come on Cordy!" her blond friend said. "Something here has got to fit the bill!" She grabbed one off the rack near her, and held it up to herself. "Look, the naughty nurse is a classic! Right?"
"Classic means old and overused, Harmony," Cordy told her with a sigh. "I mean, God - look at all this junk. Half-naked nurses, stripper cops, exotic slave women, horny schoolgirls and French maid outfits! Like I said - all the old, worn-out, useless classics. Nothing good, nothing at all!"
"Well, hey, that's what you get for being so freaky when you two first got married. You've already done everything!" Harmony stopped, as she looked at another rack. "Well, almost everything..."
Cordelia looked around to make sure no one was nearby, a habit she had learned over the last few years for dealing with the paparazzi, before responding. "I don't think we will *ever* go that far, Harm. Okay, we've enjoyed some spanking, a little bondage play can be fun, and trust me Xander has done *amazing* things with just a pair of handcuffs, but I really don't see us using a leather face mask with zippers!"
Harmony thought for a moment. "You can go with the tried and trusted, your old cheerleader uniform. I know Philip loves it when I wear mine."
"Oh, trust me, we've used it. A lot. But the cheerleader fantasy doesn't cut it anymore, not when the guy actually did the hot and popular cheerleader in real life. Eventually, all the fun goes out of it. Besides, you didn't meet Philip till junior year in college."
"Well, I don't know what to tell you then Cordy," her friend said with a shrug. "But we're here now, so you might as well pick out something."
"That's just it, though!" Cordelia cried. "It *can't* be just something! Xander has been away for two and a half months here! He's coming home tonight, and it's Valentine's Day for crying out loud!"
"Not to mention what he did for you last year," Harmony added, won over by the argument.
Cordelia scowled. "Yeah, and I still can't figure out how he pulled all that stuff together so fast..." She looked to Harmony. "And you just had to help him by keeping me out of the house, for most of the day?"
"Oh, guilty as charged!" the blond laughed, as Cordelia shook her head.
The older woman then stared. "You know, Harm, you never did tell me just *how* he got you to play along..."
Harmony put on a look of mock shock. "What makes you think I needed an incentive, to help out the husband of my best friend?"
Cordelia just put down the costume jewelry she was looking at, to stare at her old friend. And it only took about five seconds for Harmony to crumble.
"Oh, fine!" she exclaimed, annoyed. "You know that TV show I like? Blind Justice?"
"Oh, yeah?" Cordy said sarcastically. "The one that's on an hour before my show? The one that Xander started out as a set decorator on?"
"Yeah, that's the one," Harmony told her, missing the sarcasm. "Well, they had this episode coming up where she looks through her high school yearbook. They had to put together a few pages of a fake yearbook, and Xander had them use *my* old senior year picture next to Heather's!"
With a roll of her eyes Cordelia asked, "You know, I've often wondered - why couldn't Xander have just stayed a set decorator? Why did he have to take the promotion to full set designer? Then he wouldn't be gone so much!"
"Hmmm, Cordy, let me think..." Harmony said, as she looked deep in thought. "Could it be, that you were the one who initially dropped his name to that director back then? That you also stayed up all night, to help him get his first proposal together?"
"Well, I thought he would at least stay in town!" Cordy said, as she threw her hands in the air. "I mean really, why did he have to be gone so long just for a damn Disney movie?"
"Oh there, there Cordelia," her best friend said patronizingly. "Besides, after this last trip, he stays in town to work on that new Star Trek series. And I mean, those always go what? Six or seven years?"
"Yeah. I guess so," Cordy said hopefully. "And God knows he'll be able to let his inner geek come out to play, all it wants."
Harmony nodded absently, before she stopped and squealed. "Oh, that's it!"
"What is?" Cordy asked, turning back around.
Harmony held up set of red lingerie, zipped up in a clear garment bag. "I'd bet you look just fantabulous in this! Really, red always looked perfect on you!"
"Oh, I don't know Harmony," Cordy said uncertainly, as she looked the outfit over. "Granted, okay, it would go great with that set of red Manolo Blahniks I got last weekend. I'm just not so sure about all the...feathers."
"Oh please, don't be so picky!" the blonde admonished her. "It'll go great with the rose petals, too."
"Uh, I don't know about those either," Cordy said, concerned. "Isn't a trail of rose petals kind of - girly?"
"Trust me on this, Cordelia!" Harmony told her, holding up the outfit to her torso. "When Xander comes home after months of missing his hot young wife, and finds a trail of rose petals that leads to you in this and high heels? Thinking about whether rose petals are too girly will be the *last* thing on his mind!"
She snorted. "Hell, I doubt there will be anything except *one* thing on his mind - after he gets a good look at you, and all the blood rushes down south!"
***
Beverly Hills, California. Later that night
Xander Harris opened his front door, and quickly dumped his various suitcases and duffel bags in the entryway. "Cor, honey? I'm home!"
The young man received no answer and was about to call again, when he noticed it.
The long curved stairway going to the upstairs of the mansion had a trail of rose petals going up it. And at the start of it he found a card, with his name on it. Opening it, Xander found a pair of courtside tickets to next week's Lakers game. He smiled as he read the card.
'Hope you like them, but follow the trail up to your real present. Because I've REALLY missed you these last two months. – Cordy'
Then when a still-smiling Xander reached the end of the trail of rose petals he opened the door, and found something that he *definitely* was not expecting to see.
***
The mansion's master bedroom. An hour later
"This is just so unbelievable!" Cordelia cried, as she lay on top of several towels on the bed.
"Look, it's okay honey, really!" Xander told her comfortingly.
"No, goddamn it, it is definitely NOT okay! No way in hell, Xander!" she fumed. "I had it all planned out," she then told him, almost in tears. "You'd come in, let your jaw drop to the floor, and depending on how long the clothes stayed on - we'd have some champagne and caviar. And right about now, we should have been well on our way to conceiving Xander Harris junior; or at the very least, I should be making you thank God for the amazing woman you married!"
"Well, uh, I actually do that every day anyway, Cordy," the guy tried not smile and whispered in her ear, as he lay next to her.
"Oh, don't even try to sweet-talk me now, mister!" the woman seethed, before she deflated. "I mean, here I was sooo looking forward to you coming home, and paying you back for how great you did last year! But no, I just *had* to have an allergic reaction to those damn feathers!"
"Well," Xander stated with a shrug, as he stared at his beloved. "It's still a plus for a guy to get his wife naked on Valentine's Day, you know."
"Alexander Lavelle Harris!" she yelled. "My entire body is beet-red, and I am covered in Calamine lotion!"
"And yet, somehow, you're still the most beautiful woman on the planet," the former geek told her, before he kissed said woman gently on the lips.
"How the hell am I ever going to live this down?" she asked sadly, while secretly loving the kind words. "This has got to be one of the most embarrassing moments of my life!"
"You mean, apart from what everyone initially thought when we started dating in high school?"
Cordy whacked him on the ear.
"Ouch! Look, don't stress about it, Cor," Harris told her with a grin, knowing that that would cure her of the blues. "Because you know me; probably sooner rather than later, I'll end up having something much worse happen to my fine self, that'll make this look trendy in comparison."
Cordy looked at him, with that twinkle in her eyes that Xander loved so much, "You promise?"
"Like I said to you once before, sweetheart, you can pretty much count on it."
The End
By: Nodakskip
Email: Nodakskip@aol.com
Beta: By Theo
Rating: mild R for adult themes.
Summary: The title kind of says it all.
Author's Notes: I am writing this off of a story Charisma Carpenter spoke of in an interview for ABC Family. I just thought it would make a good short fic. Also, as it has been said before, it is a little weird that Cordelia would be made an outcast for dating Xander rather then Xander being raised up in the popularity food chain. So, the entire shunning Cordy thing? It never happened; neither did the fluke, also no IRS thing. Consider this an AU after mid season two.
----
Beverly Hills, California
February 14th, 2009, 1:30 PM
Madam Reese's Exotics
The 28-year-old Cordelia Chase-Harris flipped through the racks of costumes, with a growing sense of annoyance. "Damn it, none of these are any good, Harm!" she told her best friend, as the brunette re-hung the item back on the rack.
"Oh, come on Cordy!" her blond friend said. "Something here has got to fit the bill!" She grabbed one off the rack near her, and held it up to herself. "Look, the naughty nurse is a classic! Right?"
"Classic means old and overused, Harmony," Cordy told her with a sigh. "I mean, God - look at all this junk. Half-naked nurses, stripper cops, exotic slave women, horny schoolgirls and French maid outfits! Like I said - all the old, worn-out, useless classics. Nothing good, nothing at all!"
"Well, hey, that's what you get for being so freaky when you two first got married. You've already done everything!" Harmony stopped, as she looked at another rack. "Well, almost everything..."
Cordelia looked around to make sure no one was nearby, a habit she had learned over the last few years for dealing with the paparazzi, before responding. "I don't think we will *ever* go that far, Harm. Okay, we've enjoyed some spanking, a little bondage play can be fun, and trust me Xander has done *amazing* things with just a pair of handcuffs, but I really don't see us using a leather face mask with zippers!"
Harmony thought for a moment. "You can go with the tried and trusted, your old cheerleader uniform. I know Philip loves it when I wear mine."
"Oh, trust me, we've used it. A lot. But the cheerleader fantasy doesn't cut it anymore, not when the guy actually did the hot and popular cheerleader in real life. Eventually, all the fun goes out of it. Besides, you didn't meet Philip till junior year in college."
"Well, I don't know what to tell you then Cordy," her friend said with a shrug. "But we're here now, so you might as well pick out something."
"That's just it, though!" Cordelia cried. "It *can't* be just something! Xander has been away for two and a half months here! He's coming home tonight, and it's Valentine's Day for crying out loud!"
"Not to mention what he did for you last year," Harmony added, won over by the argument.
Cordelia scowled. "Yeah, and I still can't figure out how he pulled all that stuff together so fast..." She looked to Harmony. "And you just had to help him by keeping me out of the house, for most of the day?"
"Oh, guilty as charged!" the blond laughed, as Cordelia shook her head.
The older woman then stared. "You know, Harm, you never did tell me just *how* he got you to play along..."
Harmony put on a look of mock shock. "What makes you think I needed an incentive, to help out the husband of my best friend?"
Cordelia just put down the costume jewelry she was looking at, to stare at her old friend. And it only took about five seconds for Harmony to crumble.
"Oh, fine!" she exclaimed, annoyed. "You know that TV show I like? Blind Justice?"
"Oh, yeah?" Cordy said sarcastically. "The one that's on an hour before my show? The one that Xander started out as a set decorator on?"
"Yeah, that's the one," Harmony told her, missing the sarcasm. "Well, they had this episode coming up where she looks through her high school yearbook. They had to put together a few pages of a fake yearbook, and Xander had them use *my* old senior year picture next to Heather's!"
With a roll of her eyes Cordelia asked, "You know, I've often wondered - why couldn't Xander have just stayed a set decorator? Why did he have to take the promotion to full set designer? Then he wouldn't be gone so much!"
"Hmmm, Cordy, let me think..." Harmony said, as she looked deep in thought. "Could it be, that you were the one who initially dropped his name to that director back then? That you also stayed up all night, to help him get his first proposal together?"
"Well, I thought he would at least stay in town!" Cordy said, as she threw her hands in the air. "I mean really, why did he have to be gone so long just for a damn Disney movie?"
"Oh there, there Cordelia," her best friend said patronizingly. "Besides, after this last trip, he stays in town to work on that new Star Trek series. And I mean, those always go what? Six or seven years?"
"Yeah. I guess so," Cordy said hopefully. "And God knows he'll be able to let his inner geek come out to play, all it wants."
Harmony nodded absently, before she stopped and squealed. "Oh, that's it!"
"What is?" Cordy asked, turning back around.
Harmony held up set of red lingerie, zipped up in a clear garment bag. "I'd bet you look just fantabulous in this! Really, red always looked perfect on you!"
"Oh, I don't know Harmony," Cordy said uncertainly, as she looked the outfit over. "Granted, okay, it would go great with that set of red Manolo Blahniks I got last weekend. I'm just not so sure about all the...feathers."
"Oh please, don't be so picky!" the blonde admonished her. "It'll go great with the rose petals, too."
"Uh, I don't know about those either," Cordy said, concerned. "Isn't a trail of rose petals kind of - girly?"
"Trust me on this, Cordelia!" Harmony told her, holding up the outfit to her torso. "When Xander comes home after months of missing his hot young wife, and finds a trail of rose petals that leads to you in this and high heels? Thinking about whether rose petals are too girly will be the *last* thing on his mind!"
She snorted. "Hell, I doubt there will be anything except *one* thing on his mind - after he gets a good look at you, and all the blood rushes down south!"
***
Beverly Hills, California. Later that night
Xander Harris opened his front door, and quickly dumped his various suitcases and duffel bags in the entryway. "Cor, honey? I'm home!"
The young man received no answer and was about to call again, when he noticed it.
The long curved stairway going to the upstairs of the mansion had a trail of rose petals going up it. And at the start of it he found a card, with his name on it. Opening it, Xander found a pair of courtside tickets to next week's Lakers game. He smiled as he read the card.
'Hope you like them, but follow the trail up to your real present. Because I've REALLY missed you these last two months. – Cordy'
Then when a still-smiling Xander reached the end of the trail of rose petals he opened the door, and found something that he *definitely* was not expecting to see.
***
The mansion's master bedroom. An hour later
"This is just so unbelievable!" Cordelia cried, as she lay on top of several towels on the bed.
"Look, it's okay honey, really!" Xander told her comfortingly.
"No, goddamn it, it is definitely NOT okay! No way in hell, Xander!" she fumed. "I had it all planned out," she then told him, almost in tears. "You'd come in, let your jaw drop to the floor, and depending on how long the clothes stayed on - we'd have some champagne and caviar. And right about now, we should have been well on our way to conceiving Xander Harris junior; or at the very least, I should be making you thank God for the amazing woman you married!"
"Well, uh, I actually do that every day anyway, Cordy," the guy tried not smile and whispered in her ear, as he lay next to her.
"Oh, don't even try to sweet-talk me now, mister!" the woman seethed, before she deflated. "I mean, here I was sooo looking forward to you coming home, and paying you back for how great you did last year! But no, I just *had* to have an allergic reaction to those damn feathers!"
"Well," Xander stated with a shrug, as he stared at his beloved. "It's still a plus for a guy to get his wife naked on Valentine's Day, you know."
"Alexander Lavelle Harris!" she yelled. "My entire body is beet-red, and I am covered in Calamine lotion!"
"And yet, somehow, you're still the most beautiful woman on the planet," the former geek told her, before he kissed said woman gently on the lips.
"How the hell am I ever going to live this down?" she asked sadly, while secretly loving the kind words. "This has got to be one of the most embarrassing moments of my life!"
"You mean, apart from what everyone initially thought when we started dating in high school?"
Cordy whacked him on the ear.
"Ouch! Look, don't stress about it, Cor," Harris told her with a grin, knowing that that would cure her of the blues. "Because you know me; probably sooner rather than later, I'll end up having something much worse happen to my fine self, that'll make this look trendy in comparison."
Cordy looked at him, with that twinkle in her eyes that Xander loved so much, "You promise?"
"Like I said to you once before, sweetheart, you can pretty much count on it."
The End
