A/N: A list of things Naruto Characters would never say
Disclaimer: I didn't make this list
They'd Never Say That!
WARNING!: crackidy, crack, crack...
Asuma
╥ "I love you Kurenai! Will you marry me"
╥ "I quit smoking a month ago."
Choji
╥ "No thanks Shino. I'm not hungry"
╥ "I lost 300 pounds on the subway diet"
╥ "Oooooh no! Not another bite"
╥ "I only lost 100 pounds on the Atkins diet"
╥ "Does this outfit make me look fat?"
Gai
╥ "That's it! I'm shaving these ugly eyebrows."
Gaara
╥ "I hate sand! I think I'm allergic to it"
╥ "Temari and Kankurou, why don't we get along"
╥ "Hold on! There is sand in my eye"
╥ "Who needs a hug?"
Haku
╥ "I hate you Zabuza... shove it"
╥ "Wow! I make a pretty good looking girl... pass the lip stick please."
Hidan
╥ "Ahhh!! I think I broke a nail"
╥ "I don't feel like praying today."
Hinata
╥ "I love you Neji"
╥ "Naruto! I hate your way of the ninja! It doesn't work on me!"
Ino
╥ "Who cares about looks"
╥ "Eww... I hate purple."
Itachi
╥ "I'm so weak. I wish I wasn't such a woman"
╥ "Violence isn't necessary; can't we all just get along"
╥ "I want my mommy"
╥ "I did NOT have incest with Sasuke"
╥ "I miss my family"
╥ "Hey Kisame, do you think pink nails would match me better"
╥ "Sasuke, no hug for a family member?"
Jiraiya
╥ "Oh man! Not another naked chick"
╥ "Do you guys think of anything besides women"
╥ "Ahh the fourth was not anything special"
╥ "That's right. I'm a virgin and proud of it"
╥ "I, Jiraiya, solemnly swear never to look at another boob"
╥ "I love big butts and I can not lie"
╥ "I've never looked at porn"
╥ "The internet is not for porn. It's for educational purposes"
╥ "You are young. You are free. Why don't you sleep with me?"
Kabuto
╥ "I never told Orochimaru that he kinda looks like a girl"
╥ "Oh why did I never finish the Ninja Academy"
╥ "I think Shizune likes me"
Kakashi
╥ "I think I'm going to show up for training early today"
╥ "Man, my partners died.. oh well better them than me"
╥ "I'm too lazy to choose the color of my mask today"
╥ "Naruto! You could read my Come Come Paradise"
╥ "Do I save my comrades or finish the mission? Oh, screw this, I'll just kill my comrades and finish it myself."
Kankurou
╥ "Hey Gaara, can I build a sand castle with your sand"
╥ "Puppets are kinda boring; I think I'm going to be a ventriloquist instead"
╥ "To tell you the truth, puppets kind of freak me out"
╥ "Oh my dollies look so pretty today."
Kiba
╥ "You're a bad dog, Akamaru"
╥ "I think I'm allergic to dogs"
╥ "I want a cat"
╥ "AKAMARU! WHAT DID I TELL YOU WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF I FOUND OUT YOU PEED ON THE RUG!? -Brings Akamaru outside with a shotgun-"
Kisame
╥ "Gaassp, I can't breath"
╥ "Hey guys, let's go to a fish buffet for dinner!"
Konohamaru
╥ "Naruto! You're a bad leader! I'm going to look for Sasuke!"
Kakuzu
╥ "You guys are so obsessed with money! Don't you fight for anything else?"
Naruto
╥ "Shut up, Sakura I don't want to be Hokage today"
╥ "I don't like ramen! Let's eat tofu"
╥ "I hate the color orange"
╥ "I love you Neji."
Neji
╥ "I love you more Hinata."
Orochimaru
╥ "Ok, lets pretend I'm straight for one minute"
╥ "I have one more snake that you haven't seen, Sasuke"
╥ "I'm the guy who did Michael Jackson's plastic surgery."
Rock Lee
╥ "Hey Gai-Sensei! Can I enter a ninjutsu contest"
╥ "Gai, stop hugging little boys and get a girlfriend"
╥ "Sakura, does nothing appease you"
╥ "Sakura, you are so ugly. I hate girls with pink hair"
╥ "Sorry Gaara, I stole your eyebrows"
╥ "Gai, I'm done with these spandex; it's really causing me to itch now."
Sakura
╥ "Screw this, this ninja thing ain't for me. I just wanted to be near Naruto"
╥ "Damn Sasuke, you're even uglier than I am"
╥ "Damn Sasuke get a hair cut."
Sasuke
╥ "I'm sorry Itachi. I don't feel like fighting today"
╥ "You know, I'll stop hunting Itachi. I think I'll just enjoy life and marry Sakura"
╥ "Naruto, I love you. You are much more than a brother to me"
╥ I'm not emo. Breaks into song I walk a lonely road, the only road that I have ever known. Cuts wrists Don't know where it go... passes out
Shikamaru
╥ "I'm sooo hyper. Lets run laps around Kohana for a hour"
╥ "Ino I hate you; you're such a bitch. Yet you're so hot marry me"
╥ "Whats 1+1?"
Shizune
╥ "Tsunade-sama, I don't wanna work for you anymore!"
Shino
╥ "Oh my god, did you see the size of that bug"
╥ "Eww... get that thing out of your mouth you don't know were it has been"
╥ A bug! A bug! Get it off me! Get it off me!
╥ HAHAHAHAHA!
Temari
╥ "This damn fan is really starting to get heavy."
The Third Hokage
╥ "This village sucks. I'm moving to Hawaii."
Tsunade
╥ "I hate being young. I wish I didn't have this jutsu going" ╥ "Mmmmm grubs slimy yet satisfying"
╥ "Gambling is horrible. I'll pick up a better hobby like collecting shells"
╥ "I am NOT a total whore"
╥ "God I'm glad that Dan creep died. I swear he was stalking me"
╥ "Shizune, do you think I am flat-chested"
╥ "They call it HO-kage for a reason!"
A/N:...yeah...they'd never say that...or would they? Oo?
