Prologue
I slammed my head roughly against the steering wheel. Again and again.
Why did he have to do this to me? Why?
Never, NEVER would I give anyone an ultimatum again – especially now that I knew how it felt. It felt like all of the hot tears spilling from my eyes and refusing to fall from my face; it felt like my heart stopping suddenly, and quite unpleasantly, in a moment of complete shock and fear; it felt like I wasn't good enough, and I never would be; it felt like I had disappointed someone I loved, plus someone I didn't really love that much, me. It felt like everything thrown into a glass jar and blended into gross and undeserving smithereens.
"No!" I screamed at my green fir tree air freshener, which reminded me of the forests where it all had started.
Suddenly, even though the smell had long ago worn out, the smell of the little rear view mirror decoration was overpowering. I yanked it off and threw it out the window, but not before I saw the initials written in black Sharpie on the back: "B + E 4ever". Edward's response to my light hearted complaints that we were the only couple in the history of happy couples to never carve our initials into a tree.
"This sucks!" I was shouting again, this time at nothing.
It doesn't have to, I could hear Edward's voice whisper somewhere in my head. Which was great that, you know, even my imagination was forcing unfair decisions down my throat.
I flipped the radio on, kind of hoping someone smart would come on and sing me an enlightening tune. All I got was Rilo Kiley, bellowing about her baby being bad news.
Like she had any grasp on the concept of true bad news.
The desire to smack her made itself known in my palm.
And it's bad news, Baby I'm bad news, it's just bad news, bad news, bad neeeews…"Portions for foxes," I muttered under my breath, sounding and looking just as insane as I felt. "What about portions for everyone else?"
And with that conundrum, I slammed my fist onto my horn, scaring the pants off anyone in my nearby vicinity.
