I place the needle on the record.

It's a God-awful small affair

To the girl with the mousy hair

But her mummy is yelling, "No!"

And her daddy has told her to go

I write the note.

But her friend is nowhere to be seen

Now she walks through her sunken dream

To the seat with the clearest view

And she's hooked to the silver screen

I put it on the bedside table.

But the film is a sadd'ning bore

For she's lived it ten times or more

She could spit in the eyes of fools

As they ask her to focus on

I place the barrel against my temple.

Sailors

Fighting in the dance hall

Oh, man

Look at those cavemen go

It's the freakiest show

I close my eyes.

Take a look at the lawman

Beating up the wrong guy

Oh, man

Wonder if he'll ever know

Who's in the best-selling show

Is there life on Mars?

I take a deep breath.

It's on America's tortured brow

That Mickey Mouse has grown up a cow

Now the workers have struck for fame

'Cause Lennon's on sale again

See the mice in their million hordes

From Ibiza to the Norfolk Broads

I let it out slowly.

Rule Britannia is out of bounds

To my mother, my dog, and clowns

But the film is a sadd'ning bore

'Cause I wrote it ten times or more

It's about to be writ again

As I ask you to focus on

I clear my mind.

Sailors

Fighting in the dance hall

Oh, man

Look at those cavemen go

It's the freakiest show

I pull the trigger.

Take a look at the lawman

Beating up the wrong guy

Oh, man

Wonder if he'll ever know

Who's in the best-selling show

Is there life on Mars?

And I'm free.