He did not belong in this restaurant. He knew this, the other patrons knew it, the server knew it, the hostess who kept glaring at him knew it, and Logan Huntzberger certainly knew it. However, he was there, sitting drinking water flavored with too many lemons out of a glass that cost more than he cared to think about, waiting for Logan. He checked his watch for the twelfth time since arriving ten minutes ago. If he didn't come in the next five minutes he would leave. He didn't know what he was doing there anyway. Meeting with his dead wife's ex-boyfriend had not been on his list of things to do that day.

No, that wasn't fair. Logan was a friend. Friend. That word linked to Logan's name was still foreign on his tongue. He took another sip of water and checked his watch again. It showed the same time as before and he considered throwing the stupid thing across the room. He doubted that would gain him any more points with the staff though. If Rory were there she would start joking about his entire relationship with his watch. She would also name it, give it several relatives, and a voice. He closed his eyes and for a moment Jess could see her across from him, joking and laughing. The nausea that now always came when he thought of her ripped through his body. Gasping for breath he rushed to the bathroom and once inside slipped onto the cool, tiled floor.

He hated this. Hated that hearing her name or thinking of her made him feel sick. To be fair though, it had only been three weeks. Three weeks since she died, two weeks since the funeral, and one week since he decided to move back to Stars Hollow. The last thought made him laugh. He, Jess Mariano, had voluntarily decided to go back to Stars Hollow. It should have been a harder decision, but looking back on it he knew they would go back. He knew since the funeral that he could never stay in New York, the place they had built their life. Stars Hollow may have held as many memories of her as New York did, but they were all safe memories, high school memories. Liv didn't see it this way though. She had stopped speaking to him all together and any time he saw her outside of her room had been uncomfortable, with him explaining his reasoning and her slamming the door in his face.

Standing up he walked over to the sink and splashed some water on his face. He didn't want to be here. As soon as he walked out and sat at the table he would have to admit what he was doing here. He and Logan were bound now. They had always been bound together; they had been in love with the same girl. This fact was the unspoken connection they had always had. Jess was almost sure it was what kept him from killing the man. No matter how much he despised Logan for what had happened when he and Rory had been together, he could not hate a man who had the good sense to fall in love with Rory Gilmore. The fact that she had fallen back and then out of it many years ago was also never spoken about. Throwing away the paper towel he had used to dry his face, Jess walked back to his table.

They were both widowers. This was what it came down to in the end. He and Logan shared two things in common now: they had both fallen in love with Rory Gilmore and both were widowers. Logan's wife had died years before, back when Liv colored outside the lines and Jess thought he had actually gotten the happy ending. It had been cancer and it had been long and awful. Jess still couldn't decide whether or not that was better, to have the time to say goodbye or have it be quick and shocking like Rory. Sitting back down at the table he took a gulp of the water and checked his watch again. Just then he heard the hostess say "Good afternoon Mr. Huntzberger" and he turned to see Logan make his way into the restaurant. They shook hands, Jess could not even attempt a hug, there had been too much of that at the funeral. They sat again and looking at Logan, Jess asked the question he had been dying to ask for the last three weeks.

"Does it ever go away?"

"No," Logan replied. It was a simple answer and to be honest Jess had already known what it was going to be. Nodding he picked up the menu, blinked rapidly to keep the tears away, and let out a breath he hadn't realized he was holding.