Throughout my entire life, I have been called a monster. A discrimination.
I don't deserve to be on this planet, is what I used to think. But I don't know now.
I feel needed. I feel like I am a new person. I no longer fear other people, and other people do not look at me like I am going to kill them at the spot. However, they do fear me.
I am a new person. I am Juliette Ferrars.
Two days ago, I killed the supreme commander of the Reesablishment, Anderson, Paris Anderson. Not only for his cruelty towards the people in this world, but for Aaron and Adam. He was such a cruel father. And I cannot forgive him for hurting them so much, especially James.
Since I killed him, we don't know what to do next. My friends from Omega Point, Aaron, and I are going to discuss it later on today.
Right now, I am lying in bed with Aaron. It's 8:00 a.m. and he is not up yet. Even though it has only been two days since I killed his father, he seems so happy to not be working and do whatever he wants. And I'm glad he's happy, it almost makes me happy.
I roll over and embrace him and kiss his cheek. It's a light kiss, but it's enough to wake him up. He turns toward me and gives a wide smile. I love it when he's like this. Sleepy, yet so awake and wanting me, wanting me so much it kills me inside.
"Good morning, sweetheart." He says to me. He comes onto my side of the bed puts me into a fierce hug. His embrace feels so warm and welcoming and I love it. I love his arms around my body and telling me that everything is okay.
"Good morning," I whisper back to him. "Did you have a good night sleep?"
"I did." he tells me. He is kissing my neck and I can't help but laugh. He starts laughing too, and then he turns my body to face him. "It's strange though. I had a dream. A dream about… you and I."
This startles me. "Did you now? What was it about?"
He doesn't answer immediately. He kisses me and I can't help myself but to kiss him back. We break apart and he breathes in very sharply. "I dreamt that you and I had a baby together." I stiffen. I was definitely not expecting that. "Don't be scared. It was just a dream." But that's just the thing. I never even thought about babies and now he's dreaming about having one. He looks into my eyes and I guess he sees that I'm freaking out just a little. "Would it actually be bad though if we had a baby? I mean if you don't want to yet, I completely understand. But, I do. I want to have all my children with you."
I look into his eyes. I'm so surprised. "Are you serious? You got all this from one dream?"
I can almost see the disappointment in his eyes and it's hurting me inside. "Well, no." I look at him, really look at him. "I have thought about it before. I always knew that I loved you and always wondered what it would be like to have a family with you. I want to be the father I never had. And I already know that you would be the most magnificent mother."
I almost don't know what to say. He really would be a great father, I could see it already. But me as a mother? I don't know what is like to have a baby. I have never even held baby before. But more importantly,
I'm afraid of what I might be able to do to the baby.
What if I give it my powers and it will have to deal with just like I did? What if I'm unable to hold my own child? I don't want to face the odds, but then I remember. Aaron did everything for me because he loves me, and I happen to love him. Maybe I can do this for him, since he wants it so bad.
"Okay," I say to him with a smile. "We can have a baby." He is smiling so hard, I laugh. In an instant, he is on top of me.
He is kissing my neck and collarbone and whispers into my ear, "What about we start making one right now?"
"Right now? Are you sure? It's morning."
"I love you. I don't care when." At that, he takes off his shirt and tosses it on the ground. He starts kissing me. It's an unbelievable kind of kiss. The kind that you just don't want to end and won't leave your mind until he does it again.
He is untying the lace that's on my pants and still is kissing me. He takes my pants off and tosses it on the floor next to his shirt.
He breaks the kiss to take off my shirt. Then I'm left in my underwear and my bra. I can't let anything get to far before I tell him what I think. He's kissing my neck again, and I whisper his name into his ear.
"Yes, my love," he answers back.
"Can we just talk about this a bit more?" I say quietly.
He freezes on top of me. His gaze is intensely on my eyes. Trying to figure out what's happening. "What's wrong?" he asks.
"The thing about having a baby," I say looking straight into his eyes, "I'm scared. Not for me, but for the baby. What if I can't hold it, or worse? What if it gets my power? I don't want that to happen for my own child. I don't want it to go through what I went through."
He looks at me with sympathetic eyes. "Don't worry. Most likely, it won't get your power. But if it does, it won't go through what you went through. You know why? Because it would have the best parents in the world." I'm starting to fall in love with him all over again.
He starts kissing me again with intensity, like he is reassuring me that everything is going to be okay. That's when we hear a door open. "What the hell?" I know that voice.
That's Adam's voice.
Warner immediately gets up. "Hello Adam. What are you doing up here?" I see that he is trying to stay as calm as possible. He's having some trouble with that. He walks up to him, knowing that his shirt is off. I can't help but feel so horrible right now. Adam looks like he could kill somebody. He sees his shirt, my shirt, and my pants discarded on the floor. He doesn't look surprised, just mad. His eyes are fixed on mine, searching for the truth of why he just saw what he saw.
"Is he forcing you into doing something you don't want to do, Juliette? And don't you dare lie to me!" I can't look into his eyes anymore. He looks so hurt.
"No, Adam." I look at him, then to Warner.
"You have got to be freaking kidding me! What's going on here? How long has this been going on?" He looks at Warner. "You sick bastard," he pins Warner to the wall and his holding his neck. "What did you do to her? What are you making her do?" I want to get up and help. But I'm only in my bra and underwear and getting up for Adam to see me like that would only make matters worse.
"He didn't do anything to me, okay? Let go of him." He lets go of Warner. Warner is breathing in and out. Adam was suffocating him. I'm just confused because Warner would usually be able to push him off to protect himself. But he didn't.
"Then what's this, Juliette?" he asks looking at the pile of clothes at the corner of the room. "Why are you half naked? What the hell is wrong with you?" My eyes are wide in shock. I never meant for this to happen. Why is he even up here anyway? He and my friends are supposed to stay downstairs.
"Hey," thank god Warner comes in, "Do not talk to her like that." he almost looks as mad as Adam does.
"I can talk to her however I goddamn please." He's looking at me like I am a stranger to him. Warner, on the other hand, is giving Adam an intense look. He looks like he could kill him or something. It kind of scares me, but the fact that he is standing up for me makes me so happy. But it's sort of hard to be happy right now.
"Adam," I say, trying to calm him, "Listen I –"
"You what," he says to me, getting closer to me, "You broke up with me so that you can sleep with him? What is wrong with you? What is wrong with me? Did I ever do anything to make you hate me and not talk to me at all? Is there a reason that you never exposed yourself like this?" At this, he pulls the covers off of me and I bite back a shiver. I look around the room for Warner and he has left the room, and I didn't see him leave.
So I decide to take care of this problem myself. "Listen, I don't hate you, I couldn't hate you. We just aren't in a good place right now. I want to be friends with you, but only friends. I don't want you to hate me either." I take a deep breath. "At your place, you said that you liked it better when you thought I was dead. You kicked me out and told me to go drop dead. That hurt me. You, of all people, could understand pain. When somebody you care about says something like that to you, you can't just let go like nothing happened. The worst part is that you didn't even apologize. Never even said anything after that. You just told me to leave and walked out. You didn't care about us, so why should I?"
He's looking at me, all of me, and I stand up to face him. "So tell me Adam," I say, "Why would you care about my relationship with another person? Shouldn't you be relieved?"
"Hell no," he says, the anger flashing in and out of his eyes. "Juliette, I was angry and I couldn't stand the fact that you were defending Warner. I'm sorry –"He tries to reach for my hand. But I stop him. "I don't want you with him."
I'm so stunned to see that he actually has the guts to say something like that to me. "What do you mean? You don't tell me who I can and can't be with Adam. You have no right to do that. No right at all. You didn't want me to be with you, fine. That's what I'm doing. I'm not with you and I'm staying away from you. That's what you want, and that's exactly what I'm doing. So please, don't. Just stay away from me."
"No," he looks almost sad now, "I don't want you to stay away from me. I just don't understand what you see in him."
"He treats me well." I say a little bit too quickly. "He treats me like I can take over the world or something. He believes in me. He doesn't treat me like that shy, timid girl who was afraid of her own shadow. He doesn't treat me like I'm incapable of doing things on my own. He loves me."
"He loves you," he's repeating what said, looking into his hands. He looks me in the eye and grabs my face in his hands and kisses me. A kiss so intense. A kiss I never knew him capable of. "I love you." With that he walks out of the room. I stand there, thinking and thinking until my brain just can't contemplate anything anymore. I see Warner walk into the room.
"Are you okay?" I nod.
I want to ask him where he went, but my lips won't move. I want to tell him what happened, but I know that if I did, things wouldn't end well. So I don't. I lay down in bed and don't say a word. I want to go to sleep and wake up and forget everything that just happened. I know Warner is trying to talk to me but I pretend like I'm asleep. It is way too early to go to sleep, but I can't can't can't do this anymore. I need to sleep.
