PSOH Band Ficlets 'Yes'
Sometime soon, he had to answer that question his dear detective had been asking him; silently, repeatedly, with every glance and every casual touch.
Soon, when the detective's little brother wasn't around, listening in, accompanied by his two faithful partners-in-crime, Tet and Pon-chan: the eyes and ears of the entire Pet Shop.
Perhaps by then he might've come up with an answer, one that was acceptable to both of them. One that wouldn't destroy what they already had.
Of course, there were really only two possible answers: 'yes' or 'no'. 'Maybe' wasn't an option, though D felt as though he'd been unwillingly saying 'maybe' for entirely too long a time. He knew his detective didn't like it – and neither did he, for he was used to being honest with Leon…as far as he was able.
He was used to being honest with himself, too, but lately….
…If he said 'no', then Leon wouldn't necessarily cause a scene or throw a temper tantrum. Most probably, he'd simply become very silent and morose, like he had when Harry died, before D forcibly yanked him out of it.
It wouldn't be difficult to say it, at least on the surface. He'd said it before, when he'd had to, with other people, in other places. Trouble would arise later, though. Leon, his Leon, would withdraw into himself, distance himself – he might even, in the worst possible case scenario, take Christopher back.
…And it wasn't being exactly forthright to say 'no', for that wasn't at all what D really wanted. He just…wasn't sure, yet. These things could not be rushed into with untoward haste, no matter how tempting.
But he couldn't quite bring himself to answer with a heartfelt 'yes' yet, either. There was the Shop to consider, and his job, and Grandfather…and Father, too. No matter how he examined it, not one of those entities – as a whole – would be accepting of his choice. He would be denying his own unique heritage if he were ever to answer 'yes'.
And yet…and yet, if he didn't make a decision soon, he'd surely lose by default. Leon would take his continued silence on the subject as a tacit 'no' and then their lives would disintegrate.
And D didn't wish to lose – not like that, to entropy; not at all, for Leon…Leon was all the world now. D's focus had changed, his views, as well, for all that it was antithetical to every truism he'd been taught.
But to lose his family, his Shop – to turn his back on all he'd held dear for so very long and throw his lot in with one from the very race he was supposed to be punishing….that was so very difficult to do. He'd always been such a good son.
Really, his 'choice' was no choice at all. He was damned either way, wasn't he? So, of course, his answer would be…..
