Santeria


Intro: PG-13 / Digimon / Romance - Parody / Prologue



I'm so sleepy that I'm starting a new fic. My second one if you put it that way, since 'The Old House'... nobody wants to read it. Only... I dunno, four little people and I don't enjoy writing for it anymore. I'm pretty convinced that nobody will read this one either because it's not the kind of fic you all like. I like it, in my particular way. And I tried my best to keep the characters 'in character' but still with the personality of each god. Tell if I did a good job or if I screw it all up. I have like... 3 more ideas for fictions... But I wanna wait till 'In need' is finished.


Ds: I don't own Digimon's characters, only the way my fingers move around this board.


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Taichi's head is pressed against his hands, relaxed on his powerful chair. His long legs stretched right in front of him. I hope nobody is watching me looking at him. Who knows what strange ideas can appear in their minds. Streching myself on the red and comfortable, long, soft and sexy couch, looking around, I grab my gold nectar cup and take a sip. I boringly notice how his eyelids start to close and a fragment of his saliva make its way outside his mouth. Then finally his snoring completes the god's 'castle' with its 'particular way of sound', as he like to call it. It's a common snoring, for me.


Hello. Maybe I haven't introduced myself, as you all want me to. I'm Mimi, or as those poor and assholy people down there like to believe my name is, Hera. I hate that name. I mean, what could one possibly find attractive in it? Hera. Horrible. I swear I'll find and kill whoever created it. I'm the goddess who protects women. Married women, I like them better. I protect them and help them when they pray to me, on my temple. I love being loved. I love being needed. Everyone needs this beautiful goddess, who helps out with abusive husbands, with the house, with the cooking... Me being a great wife myself, well maybe I shouldn't call myself a wife since I hate my husband, I can help out with everything.


That guy that's sleeping over there was non other than Zeus. The all-powerful Zeus. He's just a stupid kiddo that thinks he's all and everyone loves him. That's not true. I can mention loads of humans who hate him, same for me, even if he's my beloved husband. Why would I hate him, you ask? Well, Taichi has this reputation of being a complete pervert. He in fact is. He'd had sex with every pretty woman down there. He even had a son with one, his name is Hercules. He's very strong, but his looks makes every lusty dream go away. He's very resistant, too. Even if I tried countless times, he just won't die.


Well, stepping out that subject which is driving me mad again, I'll just keep on introducing the other gods. From my point of view, of course. If we look to the left, we can notice Takeru. He likes to be called Apollo, but I don't like how that sounds. He's nice. And I mean very nice. Blonde hair, blue eyes, smart... He's all I or any other woman ever wanted. He's the good of the oracle, music and poetry. He sings so well that every time he opens his mouth, we all melt. And I don't mean it literally. Too bad he's completely seduced by one goddess, which he likes better than me, only because I'm Zeus wife. I wish I never had.


Now, there's this other goddess that I don't know why, but she always arrives to my nerves, her name is Artemis, or Hikari as everyone around here call her. I don't. She's one of those which I don't like, so she doesn't deserve my friendship. But since you ask for it, I'll tell you what she does. Artemis is Takeru's twin sister. That's only one of the motives of my hate. She's the goddess of nature and agriculture, also of chastity, purity and youngness. Ha! And she thinks she's better than me. She's only a virgin bitch and 'all purity' and 'goody goody'. I'm also a nice person. I dress with the best tunics and my hair is the shinier one. She's nothing, nothing compared to me.


Ok, since I always get a bit touchy when it comes to talk about younger goddess, let's get into that flying person that I can see approaching. His name is Hermes, but everyone around here calls him Koushiro, because it fits him better. He's the messenger and everyone loves him. Because he's the messenger. He can get everywhere and to anyone. Very useful.


Despite our personal profit little thingie, he's also the god of the roads and health, of the good stuff. He created the laws humans use and also their writing. See? He's the most useful of us all. And I do believe those wings he has on his shoes are cute. I'd like to steal them for a while, but he never takes them off. He's always using them.


Now there's Poseidon. He a nice god, good and smart. The little maritime stuff that lives down there, in the sea, also calls him Jyou, it's shorter and easier than 'Poseidon'. Whoever put him that name should be also killed. It's horrible too. I believe that's why I feel connected with him.


The goddess I hate the worst is Sora. That redhead thinks she's all, just because she's the goddess of passion and love. She's just full of lust and corruption. She believes that wores and bitches must be protected, that love is the most important thing along with the physical beauty. She likes to feel sexually satisfied. She's just a bitch. She's the only goddess I know that the humans actually put her a nice name: Aphrodite. I believe they did so because she'd had sex with them all, specially the young and beautiful boys. Now, the reason I hate her the most is because she's single, beautiful and a complete flirt. My beautiful Takeru is in deep love with her. He loves her passionately and believes he can correct her pervert mind with his poetry and music. Ha. Sure thing. What's worst is that she has also conquered the heart of my second option, in what love respects: Dionysius.


Now Dionysius is not a common god. He's a beautiful, gorgeous young boy who has discovered the privileges of grapes: wine. Oh how I love that red liquid that makes my depression go away... He's so good looking, he kind of look like Takeru, but no, they hate each other deeply. Takeru is serious romantic and passionate, meanwhile Yamato -as we call him since... Well, I guess it just came to us when we were drunk- is wild, savage, and sexy and likes to party and get completely drunk. All his companions are drunkards, and he's always having wild and endless orgies with the ninfs. Until now, he couldn't conquer his true love's heart, but he's trying, I know.


Oh how I hate that lucky bitch, born from the sea with gorgeous beauty. I wish I was as famous as her, but I'm only Zeus wife and people down on earth don't exactly love me, as they love her. That redhead doesn't need them anyway, she can have whoever she wants, with her beauty. Even my husband fell for her once... But I didn't accept that, as I'm not willing to accept her having all the handsome and young boys that live up here, in the Olympus.


Anyway, throwing that subject, there's also Hades, the god of the Tartar. He's the god of death and justice. He's creepy; you should take a look at him. His victims call him Ken, don't ask why. I don't particularly like him, even if he's not evil or anything. He's just... Well, the god of death. Why would I possibly like him?


There are some secondary gods and goddess, but right now I feel like relaxing. Yeah, that's right. Relax.


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There's the prologue, short ne? Let me add something else: everything you saw in the movie 'Hercules' was a lie. The gods, they're not good and all over protective with people, they're not polite, neither correct. Their heads are centered mainly on lust. And Dionysius, he's not a fat, short man; he's a young, beautiful and savage drunkard. That's it. Hera, she's mean and evil. She tries to kill Hercules since he's not her child but Zeus' with other woman. I'll tell you more as the fic goes on. And if you don't believe, go and check out what Greeks have written. Disney just put them good and nice for the little kiddos' minds.


nUMb


ps: vote in a review who Sora should be with: The soft, romantic, passionate, lovingly and beautiful Takeru or the wild, savage, beautiful, fun, drunkcard Yamato? The votes'll be couting until the last chapter, where it'll be decided.