Chapter 1: I am a Human Too
Haruka's P.O.V
'Haru!'
'Haru!'
"Haru!" someone has been calling me for some time.
"hnn?"
"why are you sleeping in the bathtub? You're going to be sick!" there's a green-haired boy kneeling beside me.
It looks like he's worrying about me...who is he again?
"and you are..?" I said.
"eeeeh? Haru?" he is panicking.
"oh wait. Makoto. Sorry," I stand up and got out from the bathtub.
"haaah. You scared me there, Haru. Anyway, get dressed, fast. We're going to be late," said Makoto. Then he went out from the bathroom.
"ah, Haru," Makoto smiled. Haruka closed the door and started to walk beside him.
"sorry about that," said Haru.
The other boy looked confused, and then he tilted his head to see the blue-haired boy up close, "about what?"
"I forgot about you," said the boy.
Makoto then chuckled and got straight back and stretched his hands, "nah, that was okay. Anyway, what did you dream about?"
This time, Haruka looked at the boy with a surprised look, "did I say something weird?"
"hmm? Nah, you didn't. I just wondering what dream you got, 'cause right after that, you forgot about me."
"I just-" the blue-haired boy's stopped by his own thoughts.
'Haru!'
'Haru!'
"no.." said the boy quietly while holding his head with his left hand.
Makoto got worried. He stopped and looked at Haruka, "are you sick? Want to go back?"
Haruka then put his hand down and said, "hn. No I'm not sick. Just...a memory that had been locked up..."
"memory?"
"hn...something opened it," said the boy finishing his sentence.
"is it...something awful?" asked Makoto.
"not exactly awful, it's rather nice," answered Haruka.
"is that so? Then why does it seems like it's hurting you?" asked the green-haired boy again.
"because...the other half of the memory is missing."
"missing?"
"yeah, just like...the one I shared the promise with is...going to disappear soon."
"promise? I thought you said memory, Haru?"
"it is a promise. It is a memory as well, because it happened long time ago, you don't know about that."
"is that so...but, how do you know that the other half is missing?"
"because I know there is still something...after that...but it won't come."
"so...the other half will come...when something happens to the other person?"
Haruka didn't answer.
"Haru-chan~! Mako-chan~!" said a yellow-haired boy while running inside the class.
Makoto looked at the boy and said, "morning, Nagisa."
"heheh. Wait, I thought you were with Haru-chan? Where is he?" the boy asked.
Makoto shook his head, "when the bell rang, he immediately went out from the class."
Then Nagisa shifted his expression from that cheerful one, to a more depressed one, "but whyy..?"
Makoto shook his head again, "I don't know where he is, but let's just give him time, and maybe he needs it."
Just after Makoto said it, a glasses-boy came to the class, resting his left hand on Nagisa's right shoulder, he said, "I saw Haruka-senpai going up the stairs."
"really?" said Makoto and Nagisa together.
The glasses-boy looked surprised because Makoto and Nagisa looked worried but didn't go anywhere after he said that, "well, yeah. Why would I lie to you?"
"well, that's right. Rei wouldn't lie," said Nagisa.
A girl with red-purplish hair came in, "Nagisa! Don't just leave like that!"
Nagisa flinched, "Gou?!"
It looked like the girl was holding her anger, after hearing that, she can't hold it anymore, "call me Kou!"
Haruka's P.O.V
I came to the rooftop without even thinking, I think Makoto, Nagisa and Rei are wondering where I disappeared to. Resting my hands on the fences, I let the wind blow my hair everywhere. The wind was blowing so hard that I could get a lift to go back home.
'Haru!'
'Haru!'
That voice again...why does it keep on coming and coming again? I don't wanna hear that. And I don't want to remember that voice, because something that's coming to that person is...bad.
Just then, my phone rang, and the Iwatobi High hymn played. I opened my phone to look at who's calling me. It turned out to be Rin.
"yeah Rin?"
"Haru..."
"yeah...?"
"um..."
"do you have something to say or not?"
"sorry, I just...wanted to hear your voice."
I could feel my face burning up, "my voice?"
"yeah, I really really wanted to. It seems like I can't see you no more."
"don't say something like that. It's scary."
"I just...wanna see your face."
"is that so..."
"really really wanna."
I think my face is already bright red like a tomato, "so then..."
"can I come to your house?"
"today?"
"yeah."
I feel happy, somehow, "well then, it's decided. I'm going to wait for you."
"okay, see you soon, Haru."
"see you, Rin."
I don't want to remember that voice, because something that's coming to that person is...bad.
"oh, Haru-chan!" shouted Nagisa.
"hey," answered Haruka.
"where were you?" asked Makoto.
Haruka turned to look at Makoto and said, "rooftop."
There were two ringtones playing together, Gou's and Haruka's. Gou got a phone call, but Haruka's ringtone wasn't for calls, his ringtone played again, he got two messages. Gou was talking loudly like she was screaming, while Haruka checked his phone.
That first message was from Rin.
「from: Rin
to: Haru
re: -
I forgot to tell you, we just got
dismissed, 'cause the teachers
have something important to
do. So I'm just going straight to
your house, okay? I don't mind
waiting for you anyway.
Take care. 」
Haruka could feel his face getting warmer and warmer after each second went by. The thought of Rin coming to his house is making him unbearably happy.
Makoto, Nagisa and Rei just looked at him weirdly; they have never seen Haruka blushed before.
"no way!" suddenly Gou screamed.
Haruka, Makoto, Nagisa and Rei looked at Gou after her scream. Haruka flipped his phone close and didn't seem to seen the other message.
Gou held her face up with her left hand while she held her phone up by her right hand. Tears started to flow from her left eye first, then followed by many from both eyes. She kept on mumbling, "no..."
Then the phone call was hung up. Gou fell onto the floor. Rei got her, so she didn't get any bumps. She kept on crying, her eyes went red and the tears just kept on coming down and won't stop.
"Gou? What happened?" asked Nagisa.
"nii-chan...nii-chan..." said Gou.
Haruka felt like he's been struck by the thunder, he quickly kneeled beside Gou and Rei, "Rin?! What about him?! What happened?!"
"nii-chan...a car ran to him...nii-chan is in the hospital..." said Gou.
Haruka quickly ran outside the class, and soon they saw Haruka ran outside the school. He didn't say anything. No one ever knows what's inside his heart and mind. Only Makoto knows, only Makoto.
Makoto kneeled besides Rei and Gou, held his arms back and said, "come on. We have to go to the hospital too. Gou come here, I'll carry you."
Gou then nod slowly. She was very weak.
"Makoto-senpai, I'll get your bag. I have to get mine first so you guys just go, Nagisa, get Haruka-senpai's bag and we'll go to our class to get ours," Rei tugged Nagisa to go along with him.
"thank you, Rei."
"that's what friends are for."
Haruka kept on running non-stop. It's still summer, his sweat was running down on every single bits of him. He couldn't make himself slow down even a bit, the thought of Rin lying on the hospital's bed made him shiver. He didn't like that thought. He hated it.
Then Haruka remembered that one text he got from before. He thought he saw that name written on it. He took his phone out his pocket without slowing his pace. That message was...from Rin too.
Shit!
Tears started to run down Haruka's cheeks as he closed his phone and put it back in his pocket. Then he realised, he's in front of the hospital.
Haruka ran inside the hospital, dodging the nurses and patients' families, some people cursed him. His mind was too occupied to even hear the security screamed at him. He didn't care. What he wanted was to go to the emergency room. Somewhere near there, Rin should be somewhere near it.
There was a sign 'Emergency Room'. It was the last one. He quickly turned right to face the alley. There was Nitori, fidgeting there alone. Haruka walked towards him, Nitori looked up, just to be shocked that the one that was there was Haruka, not Gou, the one he called just some minutes ago.
"Nitori!" screamed Haruka as he approached the said boy.
"ye- yes! Haruka-san!" the boy stood up as Haruka stood in front of him.
"where's Rin?" asked Haruka.
"senpai...he's in the room," Nitori pointed his right side.
"what...what actually happened?" asked Haruka again, shocked to see Nitori's clothes stained with blood.
"Rin-senpai and me...we were walking together, since we were dismissed early and didn't have to go to the dorm just yet. He said he wanted to go to your house, Nanase-san, so I planned to go to Gou-chan's house. We were walking...then we arrived at a shop and I went in, Rin-senpai said he didn't want to go in. Then when I arrived at the cashier, something..." Nitori shivered and tears came to his eyes.
"...then when I got out, there was a car...right where Rin-senpai was...so I looked for him...and...and Rin-senpai was...there...blood...blood everywhere..." a tear in Nitori's left eye started to come down.
"I...started to panic and...and I rang the ambulance...and we got here..." Nitori can't hold it anymore, tears started to fall continuously. He hid his face with his right arm.
Haruka froze. He can't move. He never felt this heavy of an emotion before. He wanted to cry. He wanted to. He knew why he wanted to, but he didn't know why he must.
He stepped back and back. He felt his knees went weak, and fell down. He crossed his legs and stared up the ceiling. Hoping that Rin would be alright. Hoping the doctor would say that Rin's alright.
'Haru!'
'Haru!'
Everyone was there. Haruka, Gou, Makoto, Nagisa and Rei. They were waiting for the doctor to come out of the room. To announce them something they've been craving for, for two hours straight. Nitori was sitting beside Gou, tried to sooth her, tried to convince her that Rin's going to be alright. Nagisa was beside them, standing. With him was Rei, who was stroking his hair. In front of Nitori was still Haruka, sitting down. Folding his legs, he put his hands on top of his knees, tried to hide his face, and eyes that were red. Makoto was just there, looking at everyone. He was standing, doing nothing. Because everyone needed their own time to calm down.
The door was open, someone opened it. It happened several times before, but they were only nurses. But this one was a doctor. The moment of truth.
Everyone stood up. Haruka went first to the doctor, followed by Gou and everyone.
"so doctor, how's he?" Haruka asked his voice was shaking.
"Matsuoka-san is..." the doctor started his sentence.
Everyone flinched and tensed. They wanted to hear what the doctor would say, but at the same time, they were scared. Whether the doctor would say what they wanted to hear, that Rin's alright, or otherwise...
"are you Matsuoka-san's family?" the doctor asked. Haruka shook his head.
Gou went forward, "I'm his little sister."
The doctor looked down and said, "we tried our best. I'm sorry; Matsuoka-san cannot be saved."
Everyone's eyed widened. Followed by tears went down Gou's and Nagisa's eyes. Gou fell down, Nagisa turned to Rei, Makoto looked down and Haruka...he didn't make a move.
"hey doctor..." said Haruka.
"yes?"
"my name is Nanase."
"yes?" the doctor looked confused.
"thank you for trying to help Rin..."
The doctor looked down even more this time.
"don't worry...you tried your best didn't you?"
The doctor slightly nods.
"hey doctor..."
The doctor looked up to Haruka, only to be shocked by his expression. No one can describe Haruka's expression at that time, not the doctor, not those nurses that tried to take a peek at him. He didn't display any emotion, like he was emotionless. His eyes looked at something that wasn't even there. His eyes were blank. He was pale. Paler than before.
"can I come in? Wait...can we come in? We want to see Rin..." Haruka gripped on his clothes.
"yes," said the doctor. All of them went in.
Haruka was the closest to Rin. Gou didn't have any courage yet to see her beloved brother. Haruka opened the sheet that was covering Rin's pale face.
"Rin..." wishpered Haruka. He then fell on his knees with his hands on Rin's bed. He started to cry. More than before.
"you...bastard!" he yelled.
Everyone flinched. No one expected that.
"...asshole!" he yelled again.
Haruka was crying so hard. No one ever see him cried, but they paid half their attention to Haruka, so they only knew that Haruka indeed was yelling at the now lifeless body.
Haruka himself didn't even know why he cried. He cried when he ran to the hospital...and when they were waiting for the door to be opened, so he thought he didn't have any tear left.
Haruka's cry sounded really sad, full of feelings of helplessness and loneliness. Even though Gou, Nagisa and Makoto cried too, everyone can see that Haruka was the one that got the most impact on Rin's death. Everyone knows that Haruka is Rin's best friend, along with Makoto and Nagisa, but why this heartbreaking cry? Will he cry like this too if one of their friends in their circle dies too? That was what they were thinking. Except for Makoto.
Makoto knew what was behind Haruka's heartbreaking cry. It was a secret, at least for Makoto. No one can ever hide anything from him. From Rei and Nagisa's relationship as lovers, Nitori's feelings for Gou to Gou's feelings for Nitori. Makoto knew everything, and this one, he himself can't really handle it; because he, is a human too.
Makoto has been with Haruka ever since they were really small, no one knows Haruka better than him. He can tolerate everything Haruka did wrong or anyone else did wrong. Makoto is a well-known nice guy. Loved by everyone, but he didn't have the love he wanted; Haruka's. Makoto has been having this feeling for Haruka since they were in year 5, but in year 6, Rin came, and stole his chance forever.
Ever since Rin came, Haruka became brighter little by little. That way, Makoto knows, Rin really stole the Haruka he dreamed for. The Haruka that would look at him with those eyes the same way as when they were looking at Rin.
This cry of Haruka's pierced Makoto's heart deeper than ever. He didn't want to hear this. But the certainty of what would make Haruka like this pierced his heart even deeper.
That promise Rin made to Haruka secretly. The one they made in private. The one they made just hours before Rin's flight to Australia. The one that Makoto didn't meant to hear, because after hearing it, he wished he was deaf.
But this time, Makoto was ready. Ready for anything that will slip from Haruka's mouth that will pierce his heart even deeper. The pierce that maybe will seriously break his heart into pieces.
"why the hell...you stupid!" Haruka kept on yelling at the body in front of him. Making the people; doctor and nurses pitied him more and more.
'Haru!'
'Haru!'
'please marry me?'
"you dumbass..." Haruka whispered.
「from: Rin
to: Haru
re: -
I love you, Haru.」
"...I love you too...idiot..!"
That last sentence was enough to explain the weird behaviour Haruka had ever since their last swimming competition two months ago.
Also enough to...break Makoto's heart completely.
