---Summary: John comes home late from a hunt to discover that him and Sam are not the only ones with quesions.
A/N:This is a companion piece to my other oneshot "I Wanna Know." Although, it is not necessary to read that first. Enjoy!
Dislcaimer: I own nothing Supernatural. The title, again, comes from a song by CCR.
Have You Ever Seen the Rain?
I've been away from my boys for almost two weeks now. That's a week longer than I should have been gone. Dean's more than capable of taking care of his brother and himself, but he's only thirteen. The place they're staying has no phone, so I have no way of calling them to make sure they're okay. This hunt was supposed to be simple; in and out. Now I realize I should have prepared for the worse.
"Mr. Conner , you've suffered a head wound. You need to lie back down," a small but fierce nurse tells me. She reminds me of the witch that put me in the hospital in the first place.
"I need to get home," I try telling her for the hundredth time, although I can't tell her why. Most people wouldn't understand why I need to leave two young boys in a rundown house all alone for two weeks.
"Alright," she finally says, giving up. "Let me get the doctor to check you out one more time."
I sit back down and sigh. "Fine."
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It's raining when I get home. The large cold drops hit my skin and send chills up my spine. I get to the house quickly and open the door. Sammy, who's sitting on the beat up ancient couch, looks up. "Dad!" he yells as he quickly gets up and runs toward me. I bend down to meet him as he tightly hugs me. "Dean!" he yells. "Dad's back!"
I see Dean come quickly from the other room. "Dad," he says, his tone quiet, but relieved.
Sammy releases me from his death grip and I walk over to my other son. I put a hand on his shoulder and ask, "Was everything alright while I was gone?"
"Yeah, me and Sammy are fine," he says, but his tone isn't convincing.
"What'd you do about food?" I ask him, heading toward the small down kitchen.
Dean frowns. "We made the money stretch." He walks over to the refrigerator and opens it to prove his point. "See?"
I nod. "Alright." I look down at Dean and realize for the first time the look that he's giving me. He's studying my face and I realize that I must look like hell. I think back at the hunt and remember getting my ass kicked by the witch. The last thing I did was finish the thing off before I woke up in the hospital. Since then, I hadn't thought much about my appearance.
"Dad, are you hurt?" Dean asks me, which I find strange, because Dean never asks questions. He always leaves that task to his brother.
"I'm fine, Dean," I tell him with a smile, but my answer is really only half true. "You two get in bed, it's late."
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It's late and I wake up from a half sleep. It could just be the rain hitting the window, but I think I hear a noise outside of my room, so I get up to check things out. It hurts to get up, the beating I took taking its toll. I walk out of my room, hand on my sore shoulder, and find Dean sitting on the couch. He looks upset. I go and sit down next to him. "Son, what's wrong?"
Dean jumps, startled. "Sorry dad, I didn't mean to wake you up," he says, though I know he wants to say more.
"What are you doin' up?"
He hesitates, but eventually answers. "I was worried."
"About what, son?"
I notice the rain outside picks up. "About you."
I'm the one who's hesitating now, not sure what to say. I didn't realize how Dean must feel. I never thought about how afraid he might be for me. "I'm fine Dean," is all I say.
"How did you get those?" He gestures toward my face.
"Just a little mishap in the hunt."
"Where were you all that time?" his voice sounds so small and scared. I hear thunder in the distance.
I sigh and lean back on the couch. I'm surprised it's Dean asking the questions and not Sam. I figure my youngest son was just too excited that I was home to notice that anything was ever wrong. But Dean didn't have that kind of innocence; the ability to overlook what was wrong and to just pretend that everything was fine. "The hunt took a little longer than I thought," I lie. I don't want Dean to worry about me. I don't want him to think about what might happen when I'm away on a hunt without them.
He looks doubtful. "An entire week longer?"
'Damn it,' I think. He's too smart for my lies. "I may have ended up in the hospital at one point." The frown on his face deepens and I feel bad. After listening to the rain for a moment longer, I answer, "I'm sorry I left you two for so long."
"Are you sure you're okay?" More questions.
"Yeah, I'm fine."
"Good," Dean says behind a yawn. "What if something like this happens again?" I hear another loud rumble of thunder.
It's late and I can tell he's tired so I just say, "We'll think of something. Just get some rest for now."
Instead of getting up and going to his room, he lays down on the other end of the couch. "Dad?"
"Yeah, Dean?"
"What if the thing that killed mom kills you too?"
I don't know what to say. There's nothing too say. I don't know how to answer his question, because I have the same question myself. What would happen if something happened to me? Where would that leave my boys? Normally I wouldn't lie to Dean. But I can't tell him the truth, so I tell him, "Nothing's going to happen to me. I promise." And the rain outside keeps falling.
Dean is quiet again and I don't know if he's satisfied with the answer or if he's just dealing with my lie. After a minute or two, his breathing evens out and I know he's asleep. I sit there for another minute, just to make sure he's okay. As I watch my boy sleep, I realize why he asked me all of those questions. Dean has always been strong. He never cries; never complains. But I didn't realize how afraid he is, how inwardly terrified he is of something happening to take me away, like it took away Mary.
I never expect him to ask questions, but he deserves to.
I wait awhile before I pick Dean up and take him to his bedroom. I lay him on the bed next to Sammy's. As I put him down, his eyes gently open.
"Hey, dad," he says, half asleep.
"Yeah?"
"I wasn't scared when you were late," he says, smiling tiredly. "Sammy cried like a baby though."
I let out a small laugh and smile as I walk towards the door and leave the room. "Goodnight boys," I whisper, even though they're both asleep.
I leave the room and notice that the thunder has stopped, leaving only a gentle, peaceful rain.
---Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed. Reviews would be awsome.
