Disclaimer: I don't own Gravitation, just this story.
Warnings: M/M, mention of suicide and abuse, regretful Yuki.
All your life, you have to live through changes. That's how we manage to survive. Eiri Yuki knew this too well. He took a long hit from the cigarette. Sometimes, life is unfair and sad. Other times, it treats you well, without you deserving it one bit. And now, life was treating Eiri like a shit in a glossy paper. And for once, it was only fair.
He sighed when he heard someone walking behind him. That could only be one person.
"Hi, Yuki."
He turned around to face his lover, drinking in his appearance. Shuichi still had his pink hair and his body was sensual and slim. His face was blessed with the most beautiful, violet eyes ever been seen on this earth, and usually those eyes were shining and sparkling. But not today.
He didn't smile, and wasn't hugging him like usual. No, he just keeps standing there, with a sad look on his face. Yuki smiled slightly at him.
"How've you been?", he asked, and tried to touch Shuichi's hand. He didn't manage to get it, because Shuichi didn't allow it. The latter shook his head. His beautiful, cute little head.
"Why are you asking that? Do you care?", he asked, his voice slightly poisoned with sarcasm. Yuki sighed again. He didn't think it would be that easy anyway.
"Yes, I care. Why else would I ask?", he tried to keep his voice steady, without snapping or throwing insults. He only had this one chance to make up to his lover. Shuichi giggled maliciously.
"Wow, Yuki. I would never have thought. Wasn't it you who called me a third rate writer with no talent, or a completely moron with no sense of maturity.", he walked closer to Yuki, and said something in a cruel whisper, something Yuki never wanted to face up to. But now, he didn't have any choice.
"Or wasn't it you who called me a whore?"
Yuki dropped his cigarette, and turned away from his angry lover with his eyes closed. This couldn't be happening. He was supposed to be free now. Maybe, if he closed his eyes long enough, he would wake up in bed, with his baka still beside him. But the world didn't allow miracles.
"Yuki, I'm still here."
Shuichi giggled again, and walked around the blonde. "Look. I'm still here.", he said, almost like a crazy mental patient. Yuki opened his teary eyes to stare at his lover.
"I'm sorry.", he said almost inaudible. And it was true. He was sorry.
Shuichi snorted, and dropped himself down on the couch. His eyes didn't look quite satisfied.
"Sorry? Is that all you can say? You called me a whore and threw me out on the street."
Yuki almost started to hyperventilate. He didn't want to remember.
"I was drunk.", he mange to say, without breaking down in tears. Shuichi laughed. A cold, emotionless laugh.
"What a cliché, don't you agree?", he asked between snorts of laughter.
"The poor, innocent boy was beaten and ditched on the street, because he had spent a little more time with his friend than with his boyfriend. What a third rate script, wouldn't you say?"
Yuki bit his lip, not hard enough to bleed, but enough to leave a mark. Yes, this was a third rate script indeed. "You're right. It is."
Shuichi stopped laughing, and stared angrily at him. His eyes were blazing red, and his tongue was spitting fire and poison.
"What a shame, because it was you who wrote this. Remember? Hm, Yuki?!", he yelled. Yuki stared at him like he was crazy, but he soon understood what the angry kid was getting at. "I guess I did, but I haven't been writing anything since….", he bit his tongue. Shuichi stared at him with an incredulous look on his face.
"Since? Yuki, tell me. Since when?"
Yuki groaned. "You know since when."
"No, I don't. Please, inform me. Since you beat me up? Since you threw me out? Since ten days ago? What?", Shuichi chirped happily, and what a fake happiness it was. Never had Yuki felt such a hate and loathing been directed at him.
"Please. I'm sorry.", he all but begged. Inwardly he prayed for forgiveness, because he knew that he would never rest before he had been forgiven. Shuichi calmed down a bit, and straightened his posture. He rose from his position, and walked over to Yuki.
"I will…", he began, before kissing Yuki softly on his lips. Yuki sighed, and enjoyed the soft touch. How he missed it, his lover's lips on his. But it ended too soon, and Shuichi smiled at him like an angel.
"-never forgive you.", he said.
Yuki closed his eyes again, before asking the inevitable question
"Did you jump in front of the car?"
Shuichi thought about it for a second. "I don't think you would handle the answer.", he said.
-knock, knock-
Yuki opened his eyes, and walked over to the door.
"Bro….", Tatsuha was standing outside the door, dressed in black. "Ready?"
Yuki couldn't answer that. Of course he was not ready. He never was, and would never be.
How could he ever be ready to participate in Shuichi's funeral?
He analysed the quiet and grey apartment. There was no trace of his lover left. "Justice.", he mumbled, before following Tatsuha. In the eerie quietness, Shuichi smiled sadly.
"I will not forgive you yet. But please wait for me, and one day you will get what you deserve. If you deserve it.", he whispered to no one, before fading in the air.
A little something I had in the back of my mind. Please tell me what you think.
Thank you, Kinu Inu, for pointing out my grammar mistakes:) I appreciate it very much.
Devil's Backbone.
