John Bateman's simple request

By Leah

Summary

John Bateman is willing to trade Ruth for something other then Albany.

Disclaimer

I do not own a thing. If I did, Lucas would have remembered to put on deodorant in series 7, Danny, Zaf, Jo, Adam and Lucas would have lived. Beth would not have been decommissioned and Dmitri and Erin would have a shag scene we would have all been allowed to watch thus making up for the sheer and utter disappointment of not being able to see Maya and John on the highway of shag mania!

Ok.

Flames will be ignored. Written in Australian and UK grammar. Rated PG and contains minor spoilers for series 10

The grid, Sir Harry's office

Sir Harry Pearce's hand went straight for his mobile as soon as it came alive.

"Yes," he said tersely.

"Alright Harry. You can have Ruth back if you give me one thing!" John Bateman said whilst giving Ruth Evershed a disturbingly sexy look.

Ruth, gagged and helpless stared back at him feeling doomed and slightly turned on at the same time.

"What do you want?" Harry demanded passionately. "Beth? Dmitri? Tariq? The stick figure from six?"

"Hey!" Erin Watt's disembodied voice yelled in protest on the other line.

"Sorry," Harry apologised and rubbed his aching ears.

"No, stick figure reminds me of a distant relative."

"Oi!"

"Stop yelling!" Harry reprimanded. "You're hurting my ears and my officers can hear you!"

"Stop discriminating hot, naturally thin people!" Erin screeched back.

Pearce smacked a hand to his forehead.

Hells bells.

OoO

John Bateman pulled away from his phone, a look of utter frustration on his handsome face.

"Now you can see why I became evil," he told Ruth and rolled his eyes.

OoO

Waiting outside Harry's office Dmitri turned to Alec, Beth and Tariq.

"So the lipo rumours might not be true then?" he asked.

OoO

"What do you want?" Harry cried, slamming his palm onto his desk thus making the gnome Ruth gave him as a birthday present fall off onto the floor and roll toward the door way, grinning inanely.

There was a long, dramatic pause.

"My comb."

The end

Authors note

In case you are having a "What the Hell is this? That wasn't funny" moment.

Never fear.

I shall explain.

Notice how during the series Lucas's hair is almost always never messy or out of condition, even during a time when National security was threatened or when playing with Beth in the park?

If yes, then you may feel slightly amused. If not, don't be a sour puss and whine to me about not getting it!