Prologue

"Captain this is so unlike you!" Kaylee said happily. "You usually wait way too long to actually replace a part of Serenity." Mal shook his head at his mechanic. "I don't want it ending up like last time Kaylee. I ended up getting shot as you may recall." Kaylee smiled and skipped away, humming to herself.

Jayne watched as she skipped past him down the hall, before taking a large bite of apple. "Cagphn, I gknow I aschk thos a lot…" He swallowed his bite of apple. "Why is she always so damn happy?" Mal rolled his eyes at Jayne and made his way up towards the bridge. As he expected, someone was already sitting in the pilot's chair. "Hey Albatross." "Captain." River replied. "Two hours, fourteen minutes, and three seconds."

Mal shuddered involuntarily. "You have to stop doing that girl. It sets me off." River shrugged. "Your thoughts are loud." She offered in explanation. Mal grumbled and started to move out of the bridge. "Captain." River called to him. "Something is off."

"What do you mean River?" Mal asked, confused. "I don't know… It's just a feeling." Mal shivered. He had learned not to ignore River's "feelings" a long time ago. He sat down in the co-pilot's chair. "So how do we avoid this?" River grimaced. "I'm not sure that we can. Maybe just… No new passengers. But if it still happens it happens I suppose." and with that River stood on her chair and jumped up, grabbing a ledge, and pulled herself expertly into the vents of the ship. Mal sighed. The conversation was over.

XxXxXxXx

Simon sat waiting in the infirmary. River was late. As always. He frowned and he moved over next to the bed. He began to move various medications and drugs around, reorganizing them. He heard a quick flurry of movement and didn't bother to look up. "Hey mei mei." River sat on the bed, seemingly indifferent to her brother. "We're gonna try something new today." River nodded with no other sign that she cared. Simon rolled his eyes at her behavior and handed her two pills and water. She downed them both and waited for Simon to giver her the next pills. He handed her three this time. She took them as well. After one more pill and a shot she jumped up to leave. She shook her head briefly and walked out of the room.

"River wait. I have to ask a few-"

"Eight hours of sleep per night. No nightmares. No episodes." And with that she walked away again. Simon watched her retreating form and smiled, writing the stats down. At least she was getting better.

XxXxXxXx

River sat down in her room hugging her knees to her chest. She didn't like lying to people. She rubbed her head. She couldn't clear the fogginess this time. That didn't bode well. She tried to cover her ears with her hands, but it did nothing to block out the voices. She didn't need the voices. She didn't want the voices. SHUT UP she screamed internally. She felt a tear run down her cheek as the voices did no such thing. River didn't know how long she sat there for, but the fogginess had cleared up enough for her to calm down some. River sensed someone outside of her door. She quickly wiped her tears away, hiding all traces of the crying. She had to be fine. She had to be normal. "River?" came Zoe's voice. "We need you on the bridge." "Going!" River said cheerfully before leaping up into the vents.

I have to be fine. I have to be normal.

A leftover tear hit the vent as she crawled. She wiped it away quickly. Normal

"Hey albatross." Mal greeted her. "Hows about puttin' us on the ground." River nodded and grinned. Taking control of the ship. She felt at home here. This ship was her only true home. So why did she feel so alienated? She looked down sadly, before putting up her facade again. Normal

I'm still a bit foggy. She realized, trying to shake it off. She could fly the ship ok but she might be useless if they needed her for something. Too many voices. She attempted to shrug off any ill thoughts and flew the ship into the planet's atmosphere. Calm. Normal.