Foreword

My thanks to the original authors of Maburaho, as well as all those who worked on the anime and manga. Here's a hope for the novels to be translated and published but I'm simply not holding my breath. As always, these characters are not my own, and all profit from distribution or sales of this work should divert to the original copyright holders. Thank you very much for reading. I hope you enjoy it.


Sleepless Nights

2006

InabaJ


Kazuki awoke to something soft and warm pressing against his back. He could feel fingertips trace the outline of his arm; up over his shoulder. He shot straight up, sitting rigid in bed, dislodging a now dazed Yuna. "Wha… what are you doing?"

She lay curled up against the wall, squeezing her pillow to her chest. Her face was flushed as she forced the words out of her chest. "I… I had a nightmare. I just…" she lied, unable to face him. "I didn't want to be alone."

Kazuki relaxed, and sighed heavily. "Go back to bed, Yuna."

Her heart broke, and she clutched the pillow tighter. A tear slipped away from her eye. "Yeah." She replied simply as he turned over and wrapped himself in the covers. She extricated herself slowly, trying not to touch him at all. It always bothered him when they touched. She could feel him cringe away in her memory and it rankled in her.

She exited the room and pulled the door closed behind her, leaning her weight against it until the light closet door creaked under the strain. She didn't know how much longer she could take this, living next to him, cooking for him, cleaning for him, doing everything a good wife should do, and receiving nothing in return.

She reminded herself firmly that things were difficult for him. Kazuki's life and choices weren't as easy as everyone else's. Everyone he knew seemed to have an ulterior motive for being around him. They all wanted to use him. Even she had other reasons for being here, whether or not those reasons mattered to her. Either way, it didn't make a difference, because he couldn't flout the way of the world to be with her.

She told herself that he loved her. He just didn't want to cause problems. That's why he didn't hold her. That's why they'd never kissed. That's why he shied away from sweet words and sweet moments. Or was it?

As soon as the thought hit her mind, she slid down the door, clutching the pillow to her chest, its cotton cover etching its way into the bare skin of her throat. She desperately needed to believe, but at this moment, on this night, she couldn't.


The morning came slowly for Kazuki. He'd been up most of the night worrying about what had happened within the space of just a few moments. The feelings he remembered were real, and tasted of real passion. He could still feel where she'd touched his shoulder with just her fingertips. The warmth on his back, now gone, had grown incredibly cold, and visions of Yuna's pouty lips filled his mind incessantly. The want that started in his chest quickly spread throughout his body. Within minutes the memory of her made him so restless that he could no longer lay down.

He got up from his bed and walked to the small refrigerator. Opening it, he found nothing to calm him. Nothing looked good, and when he sampled what was there, nothing tasted good. His shoulders had become taut with energy and his muscles itched for movement. The simple knowledge of her proximity, just one door away, was too much for his mind. He knew what he wanted. It simply wasn't something he could let himself have.

He dressed quickly, pulling on one of the two pairs of jeans that he owned aside from his school uniforms. A bedraggled T-shirt that was his favorite, he pulled on over his chest. It was old and worn, but comfortable. It had been the last thing he'd bought in his hometown before coming here to Aoi Academy. It wasn't the highest of quality, and there was a hole here and there, but it felt more like home than did this room, this place.

He exited softly so as not to wake her and moved down the hall. The steps he took one by one, his mind drifting outward as the need to be quiet lessened. He couldn't even remember why he was here at this dorm. It was a good school, that was true, and he'd been lucky that he could attend such a prestigious institution on a grant from the school, but it had still been a stretch for his family to make this happen for him. His younger sister had certainly accepted a few sacrifices without knowing it. His parents had definitely done so. And as he came to the door to the dorm, he felt he hadn't deserved their generosity. Just like he didn't deserve Yuna. She'd come looking for kindness, and all he could think of was passion.

He pushed the door open before him and walked out into the night. The air was rather cold, but he didn't really mind. When the chill bit into him, he felt he deserved it. And when he walked away from the dorm, looking over his shoulder at the amalgamation of buildings, he felt an urge to just keep going, and leave it all behind.

It wasn't long before he found his feet outside the convenience store. It had been his destination, that's true, but as he approached it, he wasn't sure why he'd come here. There was nothing that he wanted. Things like hunger and thirst were unreal. They simply didn't matter. He couldn't feel past the pain in his heart.

He entered the store and studied the aisles for a time. He grabbed a small bag of salted pretzels and a green tea out of desperation, unable to decide on what he really wanted. How ironic, he thought. He'd ended up getting what he'd always got when he was home. It's what his mother would buy for him by rote. She'd heard him say it once, and since that day, it was the snack she'd always procured.

He looked down at the bag and blamed it for the way his life had turned out. Nothing ever changed, and still nothing every stayed the same. Hearts were fleeting and incalculable. Feelings were fleeting and impermanent. The only thing that remained was avarice.

He put the bag back down, disgusted, and turned about, walking headlong towards the counter. He bumped into her headlong, sending the both of them sprawling. The glass bottle of chilled tea he'd held clattered on the floor and he reached out for it instantly before it broke. "Gomen nasai." He said automatically.

"Shikimori…" a voice intoned. The bewildered voice called his attention.

"Rin-chan." He whispered as he saw her sprawled on her rear in the center of the isle. "Are you alright?" He said as he got himself up to his feet and offered her a hand.

She composed herself immediately when his eyes hit hers. She saw him offer his hand, and turned her shoulder to meet it coldly. "I'm fine." She said, and got to her feet. "Really, it's just like you to not watch where you're going." She continued sternly.

"Ah, gomen, gomen." He sighed nodded. A long silent moment passed and he pushed himself forward in the conversation forcefully. "What are you doing here so late?"

The secret thrill that had started in her as soon as she'd seen him grew. "I could ask the same thing of you." She said coldly.

"Ah, well, I was awake and couldn't find anything I wanted to eat in the house." He said, hiding his hand behind his head nervously, then noticed the small package that lay on the floor. He bent to pick it up. "What's this? Is this yours Rin-chan?" He offered the beaten box of cheese-nips to her as he straightened himself.

Her face flushed in an instant, and she strangled the emotions that welled in her. "I don't know what you're talking about. That's not something I would ever eat." She said and grabbed the package from his hand moving quickly to the counter. He followed, not quite knowing what else to do.

The man behind the register rang the snack up and relayed the total. Rin reached into the folds of her costume and stopped dead. It wasn't there. She checked the other fold. Nothing. She searched back in her mind and could see her small coin purse sitting atop her bureau in her mind. She could feel her face turn the exact shade of a tomato and her eyes dropped to the floor as her chest concaved to hide her as much of her body as she could from the light.

Kazuki blinked, then pushed his tea and pretzels onto the counter. "These too, please." He said, getting his wallet out and paying the cashier the desired amount with a smile.

Rin stood befuddled as he collected his things from the counter. She made no move whatsoever to pick up the box of cheese-nips she'd suffered so much embarrassment to procure. Kazuki reached out and grabbed them, then handed them to her.

"Do… Doumo."

He turned to leave and she followed behind him, nodding to him as he held the door open for her. They walked silently together for a time as Rin struggled with her emotions. It wasn't fair what he did to her, she thought. It wasn't fair what fate made her endure. It wasn't as if…

She fell in on herself and looked away. She couldn't lie to herself about how fast her heart was beating. "What…" she blurted out, catching his attention. "I mean… Where is Yuna-san?"

She noticed his eyes drop to the ground. "She's at home." He said simply. A moment passed as they walked, and he shifted his burden to open his tea and take a drink. He looked around and saw her walking slightly behind him. "I'm sorry, do you want a drink?" he said, offering her the bottle."

Her heart thumped in her chest. His lips had touched it. "No!" she cried aloud, then blushed as she calmed herself.

He smirked nervously. "Yeah," he continued, not knowing what else to do. "She's at home." But a wistful note had etched its way into his voice. "I woke up and found that I didn't have anything in the house to snack on. Yuuna doesn't think about snacks when she buys the groceries. She likes to cook, you know, and I don't really. It just seems like a whole lot of work for so little." For just me, he wanted to say, but couldn't.

Rin forced herself to respond through the cloud of emotions that ran through her. "I don't think she likes to cook so much as maybe… maybe she just wants to take care of you."

He smiled softly. "Yeah." He said, looking down at the bottle of tea in his hand. Wasn't that enough? He thought. Did there have to be more than that?

"Besides." Rin continued sternly. "Snacking between meals is bad for you."

Kazuki smiled, thinking of what Yuna would do when she'd found out he'd bought something as non-nutritional as pretzels. 'But I made your favorite for lunch! You'll spoil your appetite, and you need all your strength right now!'

He sighed aloud and stretched his arms out. A great smile grew across his face. Maybe it was good enough. For now it was good enough just to be close to her. He peeked over his should as he dropped his arms. Rin had huddled the box of cheese-nips to her chest so as no one could see the label. "Bad for you, eh?"

Rin caught where his eyes peered and blushed, then jutted out her chin. "I'll have you know these are for a friend!"

He chuckled, then began to laugh earnestly.

Again she blushed and smirked. "I get a craving for them every once in a while." She finally said softly.

His laughter expelled, he sighed aloud and wiped the water from his eyes. "It's alright. Don't worry so much about it. I'm just glad to see your human just like me."

She frowned and turned away. But they'd shared something, and it made her heart glow.

They walked for a while, and she opened her grip on the box and looked at it, then at him. "Would… would you like some?"

He pulled his eyes away from the road and met hers. In that moment, like so many others, she felt her heart come closer to being set. He smiled and nodded. She felt alive. "Sure. Ah! White cheddar! My favorite!"


Yuna heard him close the door behind him as he left, and she felt the cold room close in on her. The tears started to well up in her eyes and she fought their progress, wiping them away as they threatened to leak away her will to fight. Finally, the wash swelled more than she could bear. She shivered and bellowed into the night, clutching her pillow with everything she had and wishing that it was him to strangle, him to hold. Her voice bellowed out, releasing the emotional tumult inside her, "BAKA!" Her lungs ached from the exertion, and she sobbed, then called as if to lure him back into her dreams, she whispered, "Baka…"

A knock came at the door, calling her away from her emotions. A voice peered into the room, and the knock came again. She pushed herself up from the closet door. It complained as if to tell her to stay in that dark place and mourn. She moved to the door and opened it only a crack. The landlady stood in the hall in a negligee, her glasses perched on the end of her nose. "Miyama-san, daijobu?"

The sheer sight of her in the hall in that piece of lingerie was enough to set the sobs started again. Kazuki looked at HER. She was sexy, developed, sophisticated. But not ME, her mind cried.

"I'm… fine." Yuna said, the edge in her voice palpable.

Hirosaki pulled her hand back from the door, and thought for a moment. "You look like you've been crying."

Seeing her there, Yuna was angry. Kazuki was out there somewhere and this woman was walking around in her lingerie, tempting him. She was waiting for the right moment to steal him away. "What do you care?" she barked.

Hirosaki blinked. "I heard a scream and wanted to see if there was anything I could do."

The look of concern on her face broke her. Yuna sniffed, seeing her mother's face on the lady in the hall. "Kazuki… Kazuki's gone and you're wandering around in the middle of the night looking like that, and I don't know where he is, and he won't even let me get close to him, and I just know I'm going to lose him, and… and…"

Hirosaki smiled softly and pushed the door open wide and took the girl's hand in hers. "I'll make some tea and we'll talk about it while we wait for him to return, shall we?"

"But…" she began, aghast. "But I need to go out and look for him! He'll get caught up and I'll lose him!"

"Maa, maa." Hirosaki said, closing the door behind her and dragging the girl into the room with her. She set Yuna at the table and began making preparations for tea, all the while soothing the girl over her shoulder. "He'll be back shortly, I'm sure. He's not so fickle as to get caught up in the middle of the night, you know that. He may be a bit too kind, but Shikimori-kun is Shikimori-kun. He'll be fine, just you wait and see." She placed two cups on the table and sat herself down. "After all, he hasn't been stolen away yet, has he? And those other girls have had plenty of chances. He'll be fine."

Yuna placed her hands about the cup that was set before her and stared into it. "I suppose you're right. But he just turns to jelly whenever one of them asks for something. It burns me up to see Kuriko drape herself all over him. I'm afraid that he'll stop trying to get away." She was silent for a moment. "After all… I don't even know how he feels."

Hirosaki drew a sip from her cup and looked softly to the girl. "What happened, Miyama-san? I've never seen you break down like this."

Yuna blushed and turned her head away. "I… I snuck into his bed." She said quietly. "I just wanted to be close to him." She spat quickly. "I just wanted to be next to him for a little while, that's all, I swear."

Hirosaki grinned.

Yuna fell in on herself and let the words out softly, "He'd been looking at Kuriko-san yesterday. His eyes were so bright and his face was so soft. He loved her in that moment and I wanted him to look at me that way." She sniffed. "He woke up and he pushed me away. He told me to go back to my own bed and not bother him." It hurt just to say it.

Hirosaki smiled softly and put her cup down to pat the girl's hand. "It's alright. You don't see how he looks at you, Miyama-san. To be honest, it makes me a little jealous."

Electric fire danced across Yuna's temple. "What do you mean?" In an instant she was poised, ready to attack.

"Oh, it's nothing like that." Hirosaki said blithely, propping her head up in her hand. "I was in love once with a man who was a lot like Shikimori-san. He wasn't greatly attractive, but to me he was a hero. He was so kind."

Yuna sat rapt as Hirosaki's tone became wistful and her eyes nostalgic. "We were about your age, maybe a little younger. He was a priest's apprentice as was I. We would study together and he would always make me laugh. He would get caught up in the silliest things and I'd get swept up in his compassion. I used to look forward to those days. It was like a never-ending carnival.

"There were four of us after him. I was the youngest. There were times when I thought that I'd never win, and I'd get discouraged. But then he'd smile at me and I thought that time would never end. I remember once, I'd failed an incantation that I'd been working on for three weeks. I was so upset that I just started crying. Life hadn't been easy for me during that time, and it had been the last straw for me. He just came up to me and took my glasses and wiped my tears away. He told me that a face as pretty as mine should never cry. I fell in love with him again that day, and every day after that."

Hirosaki found herself touching her eye as if to wipe away a tear and caught herself, blushing redly. "I'm sorry. I get this way when I start talking about him. I didn't mean to bore you."

Yuna eyes were bubbling with tears. "But… but what happened? Where is he now?" she cried, momentarily forgetting her pain.

Hirosaki smiled softly. "He's been gone a long time now, Miyama-san."

"But that's so sad!"

Hirosaki smiled, breathing in deeply. "No. It was a happy memory, and I cherish it. Life isn't so filled with important moments that I can give any one of them up. And besides, I never told him how I felt, so how could I get upset when he never returned my feelings?"

"But he had to know how you felt about him!" Yuna said explosively.

Hirosaki simply shook her head. "I never told him why I was there. Why I was with him. There were other girls after him for other reasons. I never made my feelings clear to him because I was always afraid of being rejected. And so, that's what I earned in the end.

"Actions can be misinterpreted, Miyama-san. I expected him to know what I wanted when I couldn't say it."

Yuna was lost in thought. Hirosaki's words had finally hit something, and it made her quietly uncomfortable.

Hirosaki got to her feet and smiled. "Well, it's really time for me to go to bed. I have to be up early in the morning to prepare breakfast so I have time to sweep the walk." She said, already thinking excitedly of saying hello to her favorite tenant. She felt a little guilty about looking forward to it, sitting here with Yuna, but it wasn't something she could disallow herself.

Yuna looked up to her kindly and smiled. "Thank you, Hirosaki-san. I feel a little better now."

Hirosaki smiled and excused herself as Yuna set herself about what she planned to do. The preparations were few, but intricate. Things must be just so.

She managed to get things ready, her face washed and have some time to reflect a bit before he came to the door. As he opened it, she closed her eyes and gathered her courage with a deep breath. "Welcome home." She said sweetly, and smiled to him.

He was caught in the open doorway, aghast. "I… I'm home." He said nervously, and pushed himself willfully into the room and closed the door behind him.

She shook her head as she got up from her spot at the table to greet him. She took the bag from his hand and laid out the pretzels in a bowl on the low table, adding two cups of tea, side by side.

He sat, not knowing what else to do. He blushed redly as he watched her come to his side and sit. "About… about earlier." He began.

She shook her head softly, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I bothered you." I'm sorry I lied, she thought to herself.

"No, no. You weren't a bother at all." He said, gripping the warm cup. "It's just that when you're so close…"

Her eyes softened. "Kazuki-san." She began, her voice low and unsure, catching his full attention. "I wanted to tell you something." She looked to him and gulped. "I wanted to tell you how much I like being with you."

He was stunned silent.

"You make me laugh and you make me cry. You make me care about things that I hadn't thought of before."

He was rapt in her confession.

"I admire your kindness and I always want to be by your side." She said with her face shied away. She couldn't force herself to look at him to see his expression and know how he felt at that moment. "That's why… That's why I just wanted to be close to you for a while."

A tear crept away from her eye and she sniffed and moved to push it away with her hand, only to find his. She opened her eyes and followed his leading fingers. His face was soft and his voice smooth. His eyes seemed to embrace her. "Yuna." Just the sound of her name on his voice was enough to make her heart pound. "A face as pretty as yours should never cry."

Only the two of them existed in that moment, and they moved closer, their lips burning with the urgency of action. Yuna stopped suddenly, caught by the words floating through her mind. 'Never cry.'

"Kazuki-san…" she intoned evilly as her eyes grew narrow.

"Eh?"

"You had an affair with Hirosaki-san didn't you?!"

"EH?!"


The End

I certainly hope you enjoyed this. Sorry about the ending, but this is meant to fit in just about anywhere, and I couldn't see making this into a full blown series. I simply don't have the time to run another series with two needing completion already. Anyway, thanks for reading.