A.N. I started this before the end of season 13, before we knew if we would get a season 14, intending to put it up when the series ended. Now we've had a season 14, and are awaiting season 15. But it's not because I'm tired of waiting that I'm posting now. It's because the show has upended the nature of the relationship between JJ and Reid, who are the stars of this story. I didn't want to have to go back and retrofit things after we see wherever the characters are taken next season. It's always there, just a little bit, in many of my stories, and this is no exception. But I wasn't quite prepared to go where they have gone. So, here is my version of the end, before the end.
Commencement
Chapter 1
"Spence! Oh, my God, thank God! Are you all right?"
JJ scrambled across the wreckage to where she'd found the supine figure of her best friend. When he didn't answer right away, she felt panic rising all over again.
"Spence!"
A faint grunt preceded a shower of light debris falling from the pile of rubble that rose over him.
"Spence!"
Relieved at the sign of life, JJ found a foothold, and stood, ripping pieces of debris away from the pile and tossing them aside, working as rapidly as she could. Her left foot could feel movement against it, and she knew he was trying to help. As she removed the light stuff, she could see that it had all filled in around two large beams that had fallen across his body, one across his chest, and the other pinning his left leg.
The height of the pile had hidden his face from her, but she could see it now. He was covered in dust, as she knew she must be as well. His features were locked into a grimace, and his lips…
Oh, my God, are they blue? Is that blue?!
She worked more furiously, digging out to reach the beam that lay against his chest.
"Spence! Spence, please open your eyes! Please look at me!"
There was a fluttering of his lids, followed by rapid blinking, and she realized he'd probably gotten some of the dust in his eyes.
"Spence! Can you talk?"
She watched as his lips moved, and realized he was struggling to put breath behind his words.
"Is it your chest? Is it the beam on your chest?"
His head was free, and it nodded.
"Okay, I'm going to try to move it. But, Spence, you probably have some broken ribs. It will hurt."
He nodded again, ever so slightly, whether in agreement, or as a form of permission, she couldn't tell. But they both knew she had to try. His chest was barely moving beneath the beam, his breaths already far too shallow.
The question was, how? The beam was only a four by four, but it was long, its far end buried under another pile of debris. The weight was obviously enough to impair Reid's breathing, which meant it might be difficult for her to lift on her own. And she couldn't afford to fail. He couldn't afford for her to fail. If that weight dropped on him again, it might finish the job of crushing his chest, or it might do the same to the fragile organs of his abdomen. She needed to do it right, the first time.
JJ wished she could ask him for a plan. If there was any time she needed his genius mind, it was now, in the saving of his life.
Maybe I can…
"Spence, should I lift from the side, or should I try to grab it from your middle?"
Then mentally slapping her forehead for having given him a question that required speech.
"Should I lift from the middle?"
A slow shake of his head.
"From the side?"
A single trip up, and down.
"All right, I'm assuming you mean your right side, right?" Where the beam's free end lay.
Once more, up, and down.
It frightened her, that he was conserving even this movement. Then she noticed his eyes become fixed on hers, drawing her gaze with him, to his right. At first glance, all she saw was debris. But she looked again to Reid, and then followed his line of sight carefully, and then…. she saw it. There, amid the dust and glass and hanging wires….a lone, intact, cinderblock.
Reid was the genius of the team, but JJ was no slacker in intelligence. She knew immediately what he was trying to tell her. If she turned the cement block on its end, it would gain just enough height…
"I can lean the beam on the block. Right? That's what you mean? So I won't have to lift it so high."
He closed his eyes briefly, a signal requiring even less energy than the single nod of his head. Which frightened her into action. She scrambled back across the debris to the cinderblock, and then was frustrated to realize that it was caught up in another piece of debris. Angry now, she tugged at the block a few times.
"Goddamn it, you will come out! He is not going to die because of this!"
But the block wouldn't budge, and tears of frustration….and terror….. ran down her face.
Please, please! I will never ask for anything else, ever again! Please!
She attacked the rubble again, her hands closing around anything they came into contact with, pulling, tossing, pulling again. At some point, she was curious to note that they were both bleeding, even though she felt no pain. She was too busy praying, and cursing, and pulling, and tossing, and….and then, a centimeter of give, and then an inch, and then….it was free!
By now, she had too little breath to shout. She took the block into both hands, and found that it was slow going back over the rubble, without being able to steady herself with her hands. Reid lay completely motionless, and she thought his color might be even darker than it had been before.
Please God, please God, please God…..
The mantra carried her the full distance back to him, her trousers now in shreds and her knees bleeding to match her hands.
"Spence! Spence!"
All she could do was call his name. She dare not jostle him with the beam on his chest, and she couldn't spare the time anyway. She set the cinderblock next to him, eyeing the angle she'd have to lift the beam, wishing he could advise her whether to lift from above or below. She decided to try to shoulder it, and got to her knees next to Reid. Uttering one more prayer, musing at how she'd been brought to her knees, she reached for the beam…and her hands immediately slid off it.
The blood!
She quickly wiped her palms against her slacks and studied them. No major cuts, just a few slices, and the blood was slow in reaccumulating. So she wiped once again, begged for help, and pushed the beam up from her shoulder. It was even harder and heavier than she'd imagined it would be, but the prospect of losing her best friend was harder still, and it gave her the strength she needed. She lifted the beam and swung it the few inches over to the cinderblock, and then instinctively laid it down, as gently as possible, somehow knowing the block would only be able to withstand gentle pressure.
She grunted with the effort, and then, task accomplished, sat on her haunches next to Reid, staring at his chest, begging to see it rise and fall. Begging…. Begging….
She reached for his carotid, and was relieved to feel a faint, rapid pulsation against her fingers. Until another thought occurred to her.
Oh, my God! Maybe that beam was putting pressure on some bleeding, and now it's not! Maybe he's bleeding out!
There was no staining on any of his clothes. Any bleeding would be internal, and she couldn't know.
But it wouldn't keep him from breathing, right? He should be breathing.
And he didn't seem to be. So JJ used her shirttail to wipe the dust from her mouth, and his, and leaned over him, taking care not to lean on his chest. Not until she had to. Not unless he needed full CPR.
She gently pressed his nostrils together, as she tilted his chin back, unexpectedly flooded with relief at the warmth of his skin. Then she took a few preparatory breaths, drew in one final, large lungful of air, and covered his mouth with hers.
Time slowed. To JJ, it seemed to take a lifetime to expel her breath into him. She tried to visualize it entering his lungs, spreading to their farthest reaches, opening his chest for air again. But the only images that came to her were of a hundred….no, maybe a thousand….conversations, watching him from behind as he stood before a map, looking at his head bent over case materials, seeing him near tears as he held Henry for the first time, seeing him in tears as he watched the woman he loved die in front of him.
She rose, took in another lungful of air, and then bent to her task again. She had time to think of all the things they'd said to one another, and all the things left unsaid, and she vowed to herself that they would go unsaid no longer, if only….. if only….
She felt her own breath come back at her as he coughed.
He coughed!
JJ pulled back and watched as he coughed a few more times, and felt tears track through the dust coating her cheeks.
His head fell to the side, as though the very act of breathing was exhausting him. JJ felt for his pulse again, thrilled to find it stronger. She bent so that her face was in his sightline.
"I'm right here." She brushed some of the dust from his face. "Right here, Spence. Your breathing should be easier now. Just take it slow, and steady. All right?"
It was another full minute before he had the strength to open his eyes. When he did, he was briefly disoriented.
An angel? Did I die?
And then he realized. Trying to speak triggered another coughing fit. When it finally passed, he gasped out a few words.
"JJ….hurt? Wha' hap…..?"
"Shh. Don't try to talk. Just take slow breaths, as deep as you can manage."
He wasn't having it. Not without knowing.
"Hurt?" His eyes trailing to the remnant blood on her hands.
She followed his gaze. "This? No, I just cut my hands a little bit. I'm okay. It's you I'm worried about."
He started to shake his head, but the movement precipitated yet another coughing fit.
"Hold still, Spence! Let me get some of this dust off of your face."
She brushed at it with her fingers, frustrated at what little progress she made. Then she remembered.
"I saw a puddle over there, when I was getting the block. There's got to be a pipe or something."
She turned to retrace her path back to the pile of rubble where she'd claimed the cinderblock. But before she could back away, she felt his hand grasp hers.
"Stay."
A plea, more than a command. And it threw her.
Is he afraid? Is he hurt even worse than I know? Is he worried about me?
She reversed direction and sat at his side again.
"I'm going to push around a little bit, okay? I want you to tell me where it hurts. And no being a tough guy about it, all right? I really need to know."
She was most suspicious of his rib cage, so she left it for last, reasoning that, if she caused him pain there, he might not be able to differentiate the rest.
He'll be proud of me for figuring that out, when this is all over!
So she avoided his ribs, and started gently massaging his abdomen, hampered a little bit by having to reach under the beam, which was resting only inches above.
"Anything there? There? How about here?" Watching his face for any tell-tale grimacing. Despite her order to the contrary, she knew she was examining a master minimizer. But there was nothing.
Thank God.
So she moved to his chest, pressing first on his sternum.
"Does that hurt?"
"No."
Pressing more deeply.
"How about now?"
"No." Obediently holding his head still.
So she moved to his ribs, slowly climbing her fingers up and down each side of his chest. Still 'no' and still no grimacing.
JJ sat back, satisfied…and surprised.
"I can't believe you didn't break something with this thing," indicating the beam, " on your chest."
"Pres.." Coughing again. "Pressure."
She narrowed her eyes. "You're saying it was just pressing on you?"
He nodded again, slowly. "No pain."
Except that he did have pain. She could see it in his features. It just hadn't heightened with any of her probing.
"Something hurts you. What is it?"
His left hand lifted, and gestured toward his leg, pinned under the other beam.
"Your leg? Does it feel like it's broken?" She couldn't quite reach from her position.
"Can't tell. Hurts." Coughing again, and she decided.
"All right, I really need to get this stuff away from your mouth and nose, and eyes. Let me see if I can find some water around here." Sensing his anxiety, she assured him. "I'm just going over there, see? I know there's a water source there, somewhere." She cupped his cheek affectionately. "I'll be right back. Don't go anywhere."
