Disclaimer: Do I really have to do one of these? Well I guess I do! Well I
don't own any of the characters, but some of the jokes I own, but a few I
got from my friends.
(A/N There is going to be some muggle jokes sorry I couldn't really think
of how I could relate all of them to HP)
Stand Up Night At Hogwarts
As Harry sat down for breakfast, he glanced up to the platform in the great hall and noticed Dumbledore standing up to make an announcement. "This year we have decided to try something new everyone, we have decided to have a stand up comedian night every Thursday starting today!" Dumbledore announced. Harry quickly leaned over to Ron and said, "We are going to have to try this!" Ron quickly replied "Heck Yeah!" **~~Later that night~~**
"Okay please welcome the person for tonight! Harry Potter!" Everyone started to cheer as Harry walked to the platform and got to the microphone. "Hey everyone one I would like to start things off with things you could do in a muggle elevator first when there is only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you. Second Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more. Third ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the Wrong ones. Fourth call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they Know what floor your on. Finely hold the doors open and say your waiting for a friend. After A while, let the doors close, and say, "Hi Greg. How's your day been?" "Well my next joke has to do with 3 animals, a bear, a rabbit, and a Frog, and here it goes: One day in the great forest a magical frog was walking down to a Water hole. This forest was so big that the frog had never seen Another animal in all his life. By chance today a bear was Chasing after a rabbit to have for dinner.
The frog called for the two to stop. The frog said, "Because you Are the only two animals I have seen, I will grant you both three wishes. Bear, you go first." The bear thought for a minute, and being the male he was, said, "I wish for all the bears in this forest, besides me, to be female."
For his wish, the rabbit asked for a crash helmet, and immediately put it on. The bear was amazed at the stupidity of the rabbit, wasting his wish like that.
It was the bear's second turn for a wish. "Well, I wish that all the bears in the next forest were female as well."
The rabbit asked for a motorcycle and immediately hopped on it and gunned the engine. The bear was shocked that the rabbit was asking for these stupid things, after all, he could have asked for money and bought the motorcycle.
For the last wish the bear thought for awhile and then said, "I wish that all the bears in the world, besides me, were female."
The rabbit grinned, gunned the engine, and said, "I wish that The bear was gay." "Well thanks for you time, but that's all I have so see ya!" Harry shouted
(A/N Please Review. Sorry if you didn't like it if you have any suggestion feel free to tell me I don't mind any flames also when you review will you please suggest a character for the next chapter I will also try to only keep it to two jokes per character but if you want more please tell me other wise see ya guys on the flip side!)
As Harry sat down for breakfast, he glanced up to the platform in the great hall and noticed Dumbledore standing up to make an announcement. "This year we have decided to try something new everyone, we have decided to have a stand up comedian night every Thursday starting today!" Dumbledore announced. Harry quickly leaned over to Ron and said, "We are going to have to try this!" Ron quickly replied "Heck Yeah!" **~~Later that night~~**
"Okay please welcome the person for tonight! Harry Potter!" Everyone started to cheer as Harry walked to the platform and got to the microphone. "Hey everyone one I would like to start things off with things you could do in a muggle elevator first when there is only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you. Second Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more. Third ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the Wrong ones. Fourth call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they Know what floor your on. Finely hold the doors open and say your waiting for a friend. After A while, let the doors close, and say, "Hi Greg. How's your day been?" "Well my next joke has to do with 3 animals, a bear, a rabbit, and a Frog, and here it goes: One day in the great forest a magical frog was walking down to a Water hole. This forest was so big that the frog had never seen Another animal in all his life. By chance today a bear was Chasing after a rabbit to have for dinner.
The frog called for the two to stop. The frog said, "Because you Are the only two animals I have seen, I will grant you both three wishes. Bear, you go first." The bear thought for a minute, and being the male he was, said, "I wish for all the bears in this forest, besides me, to be female."
For his wish, the rabbit asked for a crash helmet, and immediately put it on. The bear was amazed at the stupidity of the rabbit, wasting his wish like that.
It was the bear's second turn for a wish. "Well, I wish that all the bears in the next forest were female as well."
The rabbit asked for a motorcycle and immediately hopped on it and gunned the engine. The bear was shocked that the rabbit was asking for these stupid things, after all, he could have asked for money and bought the motorcycle.
For the last wish the bear thought for awhile and then said, "I wish that all the bears in the world, besides me, were female."
The rabbit grinned, gunned the engine, and said, "I wish that The bear was gay." "Well thanks for you time, but that's all I have so see ya!" Harry shouted
(A/N Please Review. Sorry if you didn't like it if you have any suggestion feel free to tell me I don't mind any flames also when you review will you please suggest a character for the next chapter I will also try to only keep it to two jokes per character but if you want more please tell me other wise see ya guys on the flip side!)
