A/N: Okay… I'm probably insane to write a serialized fanfic… but whatever. I have to give thanks to UchihaNightFlower, my kind editor who went through all my drabble I call chapter one and transformed it into something readable. ARIGATOU!!!!!!

Disclaimer: Ouran High School Host Club belongs to Bisco Hatori, D Grayman belongs to some other person whose name I forgot. I have no ownership over any of the characters in the story in any way. No way you can sue me.

Allen sighed. He was tired. He hurt everywhere. His eyes were sore, his legs were sore, and his BUTT was sore. Allen dropped his shoulders and sighed for the hundredth time in the last hour. It has been a week since he and Kanda were given their 'special assignment'. They arrived in this place…a god-forsaken country called 'Japan'. (There was a glint in Kanda's eyes when Komui announced their destination.) It had also been 8 hours since he and Kanda were first enrolled into Class 1-A of Ouran High School. A big-ass school, too. It has also been one hour since Kanda was chased off by rabid girls to some corner of this thousand mile school.

'Damn it, why does this school have to be so damn huge?' he thought as he walked along the endless hallways in hope of finding his partner. It wasn't only Kanda's disappearance that was making him excessively cranky, but also the fact that he was walking around with air running through his legs, making him quite…ahem…uncomfortable. See, this 'mission' was originally supposed to be for Lenalee and Kanda but on the day before the beginning of their assignment, she said she fell and sprained her ankle. Well, that's what she told Ravi to tell them. Allen had seen that suspicious grin crawling onto his face. That is one huge bastard. Anyways, there was no way that Komui would return the pre-ordered uniforms, (they cost…too much… ) and there was absolutely no way they could convince Kanda to wear a skirt. (Even though Ravi was itching to wear it…it simply didn't fit… ). So that's how (little, short, girly, cute-as-hell) Allen Walker ended up wearing a long yellow dress that was too tight across the waist.

Turning another corner, the white-headed teenager arrived at a set of huge furnished double doors. The label read "Third Music Room". It was one of the few doors Allen didn't check yet. Wanting to find Kanda as fast as possible and get the hell out of this huge-ass school, he turned the polished doorknob and slowly pushed the door open. (It was too heavy : )

(Cliché warning)
The first thing Allen noticed was the blinding white light spilling through the door. Thousands of red rose petals spiraled out the door, dancing around Allen as he vaguely wondered who took the time to pluck all the petals off and blow them out. Then, a group of voices called in unison: "Welcome!"

Stepping into the room, Allen was greeted by a strange (okay fine, ridiculously freaky) sight. Standing in the middle of the room in a position of greeting, were some people. Well, not just some people, Allen also vaguely noticed how handsome they were. Even if they are dressed in…armors. What the fuck!?

'Huh…?' that was the only word on his mind; otherwise, Allen's brain was completely frozen. There was a tiny blonde boy perched on the shoulders of a dark haired male who was like at least 6 feet tall (190cm). To their right was a shorter brunette that Allen recognized as the person he sat next to in class that day, Fujioka Haruhi, who looked exceptionally like a girl. To his right was another tall, dark-haired male wearing a pair of glasses and writing expertly on his notebook while staring at Allen with the expression that gave him the feeling of being though the cat-scan.

In the middle stood…once stood… a prince-like blonde who, at the moment, was charging towards Allen with a rose in hand.

"Welcome, beautiful princess, to the Host Club," he said, kneeling before the already freaked-out exorcist and handing him the rose. "You're new here I presume."

"Y… yes" Allen stammered, still very surprised by the actions of the blonde. "Err… I'm actually looking for a friend of mine. Um…kind of tall, long black hair tied up, stares at you with an expression that clearly says 'fuck off'. Have you seen him?" Right after the words left his mouth, he heard Kanda's voice from the back of the room.

"Bean sprout, is that you!? Fucking help me!!! These freaks…" Kanda's voice was drowned out as it was taped shut by a devilish-looking…oh no, make that two devilish-looking, grinning-from-ear-to-ear redheads.

"Do you mean him?" they asked in unison, with a hint of amusement in their voices, and stepped to the side to reveal Kanda tied up with coils of rope and gagged with a piece of cloth.

"OHMYFUCKINGGODWHATTHEHELLDIDYOUDOTOHIM?!?!?!?!!?" Allen shrieked, the words coming out as one, running over towards Kanda, trying to free him from his bindings.

"He was running from a stampede of girls and ran in here to hide," The twin on the left said.

"Then M'lord saw him and asked if he wanted to become a host," the other continued.

"Then, he got really angry and tried to attack us with a sword." both chimed in unison.

Then, they suddenly struck a pose, one of the twins looking up at his brother, whispering in his high voice, "Oh Hikaru, that man was so scary! I was terrified! He could have taken me and you would be so lost without me!"

The other brother held his twin close to his chest, whispering to him in a lower voice, "Don't worry, Kaoru. I will always look after you, no matter what. I will fulfill my duty as an elder brother…and one who loves you."

"Hikaru!"

"Kaoru!"

(Dramatic pause.)

"Anyways, anyways! Takashi knocked him down and then Hika-chan and Kao-chan tied him up because they were afraid he will try to attack us again when he wakes up." the tiny blonde concluded.

"Who are you?" asked the person who Allen presumed was Takashi.

"Hikaru, isn't she that new girl in our class? You know, the one who was twitchy and then charged to the senior section once class was over?" one twin asked the other.

"Yeah, I think that's her." the other replied.

"Hikaru… do you think…" one started.

"It just might as well be…" the other replied.

Both twins rushed towards the person they referred to as 'M'lord' and whispered into his ear.

In a split of a second, Allen found himself being tied to a chair and gagged with more cloth by the twins.

Turning in the direction of Kanda, Hikaru and Kaoru said: "Okay, let's make a deal. You join the host club, and we'll return you something that we took when you were out cold. After saying this, one of the two went to a closet and came back with mugen.

After noticing (for the first time since he was knocked out) that mugen was missing, Kanda was thrashing through his ropes, trying to break free of the bindings and strangle the twins. Naturally, by now, Allen was already past the point of helping Kanda in any way (except look innocently cute in the chair and hope that his scary captors would somehow set him free), so he just stared at the scene that was happening before him.

"Tama-chan, don't you think we should ungag him so that he can answer us now?" the tiny blonde asked the taller one. 'Tama-chan' smiled. "Hikaru, Kaoru, I think it is time for us to show our captive some hospitality and…" Before he could finish his sentence, the twins had already untied the rope that was tightly wound around Kanda's mouth.
Before the cloth could even fall to the floor, Kanda was already screaming insults at the twins. "WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU TWO INCESTIOUS FREAKS? WHY THE HELL DO YOU WANT ME TO BECOME A HOST? WHAT THE FUCK IS A FUCKING HOST? WHAT DO YOU WANT WITH BEAN SPROUT AND WHY THE FUCKING HELL DID YOU FUCKING TIE HIM UP???OH WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON MUGEN AGAIN…"

"Wait a minute, you meant her, right?" one of the two red 'imps' asked. "I FUCKING MEAN HIM WHEN I FUCKING SAY HIM!!" Kanda screamed back.

Everyone in the room (except for Kanda) stared at Allen. Then, the twins walked up towards him and started staring at him and probing random places like his ribs with their fingers. "Yep, he's a boy all right."

"Okay… this is really… awkward." Haruhi said. Don't you think we should just let them go? You know that they can tell on us for this you know?" Then, the shady guy with glasses that was silent the whole time talked. "Even if they did tell on us for this, we can say that we tied him up because he was attempting physical assault upon us, and besides, weapons are not even permitted within campus. If he doesn't join the host club, we can still report him for performing acts of violence and bringing a restricted artifact to school. In other words, it's an all-win deal for us"

Allen twitched. Never before could he have imagined such a cunning and evil person to exist. Now he witnessed that person force Kanda to accept the fate of becoming a host or lose mugen… truly disturbing.

"Soo… what's your choice? Host or not Host?" the twins asked. "Host" Kanda grumbled, not exactly used to being defeated. Especially not by a pair of incestuous twins younger than him that somehow managed to tie him up.

"Good. Oh, and by the way…" both said. "I'm Hikaru" the one on the left finished. "and I'm Kaoru" the other one added. "But sometimes it's the other way around!" both chimed.

"I'm Haaaaannniii!!!! And you're new nickname is Kan-chan 3" Han exclaimed. Then, he pointed at the tall guy who was giving him a piggyback ride. "And that's Takashi!"

"But everyone calls him Mori" Haruhi whispered to Kanda. "And the blonde guy over there's Tamaki, the president of the host club." "The scary person beside him with glasses is Kyouya. Whatever you don, don't make him mad." After Haruhi finished introducing everyone, Hikaru and Kaoru undid Kanda's ropes and helped him up. "Aaaaannnddddd…. WELCOME, NEW HOST, TO OURAN HIGH SCHOOL HOST CLUB!!!!!!!!" all the club members (except for Mori cuz he never talks anyways) hollered.
"… aren't you going to untie Bean Sprout then?" Kanda asked.
"We need to hold him permanent hostage so that you won't try to escape." Kyouya replied. Allen could tell that Haruhi's warning about him was something that should be heeded.