A deep sigh escaped Shinji's lips as he stared aimlessly out of his bedroom window. At the present moment it was raining which only left him feeling sombre. Three years. It's been three fucking years to this night when he had given the girl that he loved, everything he could possibly offer. Remembering that entire night left an aching in his chest, Shinji punched the wall.
"Yo Shinji, what do ya think of the party so far?" Touji had asked. Some rich kid who in Shinji's opinion was trying to gain popularity, was having a graduation party at his parent's beach house. Everyone in the year had came, including her.
Shinji took a sip of his beer and turned to watch the girl he had been in love with since the eight grade talk to a group of popular kids. Once again she was the life of the party, how could she not be considering just how beautiful she was tonight? Dazzling auburn hair that swayed gracefully to her waist, sparkling blue eyes that could calm the storm and milk-white skin as fragile as porcelein.
To Shinji, Asuka was almost perfect in every aspect but not simply just because of her physical looks, but because of her strength, her determination and her will for survival. Asuka was a fighter and it was because of her spirit, Shinji became the man whom he had always wanted to be. He had thought at first that with his new persona, Asuka would instantly take him with open arms and they could finally be together. Sadly, he was mistaken when he saw that she didn't seem to care. Shinji tried to get close to her but she'd would simply push him away and left him with a broken heart.
His reminiscing was interupted by a familiar song on his SDAT. The one that we danced to... To hear it again after so long felt like salt being rubbed into old wounds because right now, Shinji was relating to the lyrics and the singer's agony. Honestly, it was really starting to piss him off.
Touji and Kensuke both left Shinji to himself when they heard an old song from the band Maroon 5 come onto the radio making both of the boys eager to ask the girls they cared for to dance with them. Hikari's blush matched the same colour as Touji's but she willingly accepted his offer, while Rei simply smiled and took Kensuke's hand into her own. Being left alone, Shinji out of some bizarre surge of impulse, walked over to Asuka and offered his hand.
"Would you like to dance?" Shinji asked so softly that it left Asuka's face stained with confusion. For once unsure of what to do or say, Asuka simply nodded and took his hand as Shinji led her to the dance floor.
She's gone quite all of a sudden! Like she's trying to get away from me... However, Shinji knew that they needed to talk about their bizzarre relationship once and for all, so his grip around her waist tightened. Asuka tried looking up at him in the eye but that was easier said than done. Over the four years they lived together, Shinji had achieved gainig a major growth spurt making him the height of 6ft 3, but that wasn't the only thing he recieved during puberty. Shinji had become well built due to all the hours at the gym with Touji, making him become incredibly strong and so handsome that it almost broke Asuka's heart to think of all the love letters he had recieved from numerous girls in senior year.
Almost every girl had wanted him as their own boyfriend, but Shinji was smarter than that and knew that the reason for their attraction was only out of lust. Besides... Shinji was already in love.
Asuka was considered to be one of the few tallest girls in their year as she was 5ft 9, but compared to Shinji, Asuka felt like a midget. Still her figure was of a goddess and her beauty was like no other. She knew that Shinji had always felt some sort of attraction to her (or at least she hoped when she was fourteen), but love never came to mind and she never made it that easy for Shinji to get any closer.
"Asuka, we need to talk." Shinji whispered into her ear.
"There's nothing that needs to be discussed between you and me, Third." She simply responded while surpressing the urge to shiver.
Wow, Asuka wasn't lying when she said that she was ticklish. He thought to himself, before remembering that she had just insulted him. "Cut the NERV crap! It's been four years since either you or I have piloted an Eva!"
"Well I never got to pilot Eva much because you always had to take control!" Asuka spat out, pulling herself to keep an arm's length between them. She would've run off if Shinji still didn't have his hold on her.
"I can't believe after all these years you're still proud of piloting Eva!" Shinji looked at her in disbelief.
"Yes archloch! Piloting Eva was my life and whole purpose for my existence, but you stole my glory. Ten years of hard training were all in vain when you came along!"
"I'm tired of you pretending like that my piloting skills was all my fault! You have issues against me and it's not because of Eva! You don't give a damn about me!"
"That's not true!" Asuka rebutted, shocked at what she just confessed. Of course, Asuka was unable to back her words or say anything in her defence as a droplet of water landed itself carelessly onto her bare shoulder causing both of the ex-pilots to look up to the sky and see the beginning of rain. Shinji grabbed Asuka's wrist and began running to their apartment as others fled for their cars or shelter. Unfortunately for the two ex-pilots, their apartment block was half an hour away so by the time they had gotten back to their apartment, both Shinji & Asuka were completely drenched to the bone.
For a moment Shinji let go of Asuka's wrist to open the front door of their apartment and kicked off his sneakers of blue & white when got in and closed the door behind them. He became slightly impatient watching Asuka while she was slowly taking her time to carefully undo the straps of her red ribboned platforms. When she finally finished the small task, Shinji grabbed her wrist again and pulled her into his room. Asuka was genuinely astounded at Shinji's new attitude these days; he was so different compared to who he was at fourteen that Asuka wasn't sure if she liked it. Uneassiness settled in her stomach when Shinji closed door behind him, reminding Asuka about Misato's vacation with Pen Pen and a few other ex-employees at NERV.
"Pervert! I knew you're it, you're trying to take advantage of me!" Asuka tried to fuel herself with anger, but her tough-girl facade was slowly dissipating from the sight of Shinji's colbalt-blue eyes.
"You and I both know that I would never do that." He said with a strange but warm gentleness, placing his hands onto her shoulders as a way to reassure Asuka. Shinji was right; he would never do something as horrific as that. Still, it scared Asuka because if they did anything it'd be because of her and if she were to end up hurt, there would be no one to blame but herself. "Asuka, I'm never gonna make you do anything that you don't want to unless you'll allow me."
Asuka looked into his eyes once again. She knew that she couldn't control the feelings she felt for him, still Asuka couldn't find the words she had wanted to say to him for so long. Instead, she simply continued gazing into his eyes before shivering at the coolness of her own skin. Shinji noticed this and moved towards her lips, she was surprised at his bold move but she didn't protest and it didn't take too long for her to respond.
Their tongues colliding with one another made Asuka go weak at the knees. Shinji slowly untied the straps of her white sundress, quietly noting that it looked like she had when she was younger except this one was a lot tighter with slits on each side. When it finally came off, Asuka helped Shinji remove his jeans and blue top, Shinji had then picked her up and gently laid her onto the bed.
Asuka was nervous he could tell and hell, he was too but the look in her eyes told him that she wanted this and she was ready for it. Soon both skins made contact and Shinji had given Asuka one last kiss before entering her. When she had first flinched, Shinji was afraid that he had gotten her hurt but she reminded him it was her first time. They shared one last passionate kiss before losing themselves in each other's embrace and falling asleep with content smiles on both their lips.
Shinji smiled at remembering the joy he felt that night, but it quickly vanished when he was reminded about the next morning.
Shinji slowly opened his eyes before closing them again. He didn't want to wake up when his brain finally registered the empty space next him, Shinji's eyes instantly opened. Hearing nothing in the apartment, Shinji put on a pair of his boxers and began looking around for Asuka, his quest had soon come to an end when he found a note addressed to him in her room.
Shinji,
By the time you read this I'll be gone. Yes it seems harsh that I've decided just to get up and leave like that all of a sudden but I know that last night was the stupidest thing I ever did because I know of the rumors. Yet I still ended up doing the things that would end up breaking my heart.
I'm sure you're wondering what I mean by rumors, well at school girls were warning me that you were dating them, had sex with them and then break up with them! I'm leaving now because I feel stupid but I'll say the one thing that was hard to say to anyone: I love you.
I love you, Shinji Ikari but my heart is breaking by staying here. I hope to never see you again, Asuka.
Shinji looked at the letter with complete disbelief, feeling both angry and hurt. Cruel rumors broke them apart, how could that be? Asuka wasn't the type to believe in gossip unless, could it be that possibly she didn't believe those girls at school but saw it as an excuse to run away. Or did she truly believe them and thought that he had never loved her? Whatever the reason was, he had to go look for her.
Well Shinji had tried to look for her, three years to be exact but Asuka had disappeared into thin air, it was like she never existed at all. How much Shinji regretted not being able to tell her how much he loved her but he knew that it wasn't anyone's fault. Even though it was raining, Shinji decided to go for a walk.
Meanwhile in a park, Asuka was once again thinking about what happened three years ago. She had been hiding ever since hoping that no one would find her. She had never regretted that night but she felt so heartbroken because she felt so scared, if you loved someone then you shouldn't be scared but Asuka did so that's why she ranaway.
I suppose I should go home now or else I'll get sick. Turning around but to see someone blocking her path.
Shinji just stared. He couldn't believe it, Asuka was standing right there infront of him! Asuka took a step back and bolted for her life, however, Shinji was not prepared to let her walk out of his life again and ran after her. After an agonising ten minutes, Shinji had finally managed to catch up to Asuka and wrapped his arms around her waist but Asuka wasn't going to give up that easily.
"LET GO OF ME!" Asuka cried, struggling to remove herself from Shinji's clutches.
"No I won't lose you again!" Shinji stubbornly said.
"I was never yours to begin with!"
Shinji felt hurt, letting the red-head go but still held onto her wrist as a way to assure himself that she would not run off again. "Why?"
"Because Shinji, I can't open my heart up to any or I'll end up betrayed," she was lying and he knew it.
"That's bullshit and you know it."
"It maybe for you but you weren't the one betrayed and had no one to lean on."
"You've just told my life story! You aren't the only person in the world with problems."
"I know. That's why I left. Take another problem off your list!" Asuka simply said.
"You were never a problem. Being without you is my problem! I love you and I regretted that I never told you. Those rumors weren't true, you were my first and you're the only."
"I knew that, but I used it as an excuse to run away." Her face was hidden beneath her long auburn hair, making it difficult for Shinji to read her response. "I'm sorry Shinji, I shouldn't have left you like that. I never regretted that night Shinji, but I was just so scared at the thought of getting close to you of all people."
"I know," Shinji softly whispered, pulling her into a warm embrace. "I know," saying it once more before kissing her on the forehead as she began to cry for once in her life.
They stayed like that for a moment as the summer rain kept falling but they both heard a song play in the background. Realising that it had been the one that they danced to three years ago, Shinji & Asuka knew that in this weird and crazy world, destiny was a bizarre concept to discuss about; some believe in it while others said that it didn't exist and that life is made up from your own decisions. Whatever it was, the couple simply looked at each other questionly before once again, they danced to their song.
Where you are seems to be
As far as an eternity
Outstretched arms, open hearts
And if it never ends then when do we start?
I'll never leave you behind
Or treat you unkind
I know you understand
And with a tear in my eye
Give me the sweetest goodbye
That I ever did receive
Pushing forward and arching back
Bring me closer to heart attack
Say goodbye and just fly away
When you comeback I have some things to say
How does it feel to know you never have to be alone
When you get home
There must be someplace here that only you and I could go
So I can show you how I
Dream away everyday
Try so hard to disregard
The rhythm of the rain that drops
And coincides with the beating of my heart
I'll never leave you behind
Or treat you unkind I know you understand
And with a tear in my eye
Give me the sweetest goodbye
That I ever did receive
Pushing forward and arching back
Bring me closer to heart attack
Say goodbye and just fly away
When you comeback I have some things to say
How does it feel to know you never have to be alone
When you get home
There must be someplace here that only you and I could go
So I can show you how I feel
Pushing forward and arching back
How does it feel to know you never have to be alone
When you get home
There must be someplace here that only you and I could go
So I can show you how I feel
End.
AN: Ok what the hell was I on! Please R&R if you liked it but I'm not sure why I wrote it, I was just bored but I reckon that this was very OOC. The song used was Maroon 5's "Sweetest good-bye".
